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Chapter 1: What challenges did Amber face with seagulls at dawn?
This is a global production.
I've always had that thing where I'm like, I just love having kids so much that I don't know when I'd ever be finished having kids. I'm like, how would I know when I've had enough kids? I know.
Chapter 2: Why did Vogue cancel her social calendar?
Sorry, that is disgusting. Imagine getting a hotel room after him and you're ironing your shirt and you're like, why do I smell like fash? I called you upset about something, about to cry, but you were already crying. So I had to let you have your moment. I'm sure we're just here for the crack. Hello and welcome to Vogue and Amber, the podcast. Here we are. Here we are, here we are, here we are.
So. Here we are, here we go, here we go, here we go. What's that from?
Chapter 3: What unique ideas did they have for a baby shower?
Is that not? Well, what about the song I put in my post last night? Oh my gosh. Listeners, if you, Amber, you've never known someone put... Such an intense amount of work into her posting schedule and what she posts. Well, hardly because I posted fucking March last night and it's fecking June. I know, but you saved them up. My God. I don't mean to save them up. Amber, come on.
It's bad when your mother's doing a better job than you are. Come on. Don't even talk to me. I've been trying to give her tips and tricks for her socials and Sandra would not be fit for feedback in the slightest. Oh, well, Sandra, I was like, you just need to just like be more structured in how often you're posting, what days you're posting.
Chapter 4: What are the worst baby names discussed?
And don't just post reels. Post carousels. What's a carousel? Oh, Jesus, don't. Just let her do her own thing. I just think the best thing to do is to just stay out of her way. Yeah, so Camille, I'm here with a correction. A lot of people corrected you and I thought of myself when you were like blowing your own trumpet about the famine and all your knowledge about that.
I guessed 1842 or something, obviously. So like if something's in 1942, that means it's the 20th century. No, no, no, no, no, no. Let me, let me.
I said, I said, you said 1842 and I said the 19th century.
So the 19th, I did know that that was right, but I, you didn't, you didn't, you were thinking, you Amber, you weren't thinking it was in 1842. Be honest.
Chapter 5: How did Vogue and Amber react to a man cooking in a hotel room?
You were thinking it was in 19 something. You were. No, Vogue, I know how the centuries work. I'm better with numbers than you. Amber, Amber. I know that you didn't know when the famine was. It's just weird that you just always want to make me out to be wrong. It's just like, literally talk about empowering fellow fucking females. Forget about that, lads. I'll tell you why.
Chapter 6: What did David Harbour say about Lily Allen?
Because like, I only knew it was then because I came across a post on it. And I was like, oh, that's really interesting. And I was like, I should know more about that. And I know that you didn't.
I did it was something I remember from school because like obviously one thing that stood out anything in 1900 of the 20th century I know that let's just move on I regret mentioning it okay just take the fucking win whatever okay fine I didn't get it right I was wrong like honestly you're such a naysayer I'm actually that's it I'm leaving I nearly didn't show up on the pod today
Wouldn't be like you. I woke up last night. I fell asleep at like nine. And you know when you're like, I haven't slept. And then I woke up at half ten. And I was like, God, I still haven't fallen asleep. And I checked my aura and I was like, oh, you've been asleep for an hour and nine minutes. I was like, oh no, it's one of those nights. And then I just was feeling so sick for like four hours.
So I got barely any sleep last night because I was just feeling sick. My sickness tablets weren't working. And then I had Lorraine this morning and I was fine. You know when you're just trying to talk yourself into being fine. You're like, I'm fine. Then I was just like, I've had three naps today. Now they did keep getting interrupted. So they're only 20 minute naps. I had to have three naps.
That's not normal. Honestly, I'm concerned I'll be sick. You're creating another human life. I know, but I'm concerned I'm going to be sick for the baby shower. Uh-oh. Well, I didn't every night last week. So on Friday into Saturday, I woke up at 5 a.m. Saturday into Sunday, I woke up at 5 a.m. And I forced myself to go back to sleep.
And every night I wake up at least once to go for a Jimmy Riddle. And I get out of bed and I scuttle back in there and go back to sleep. Last night I didn't wake up.
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Chapter 7: What are Vogue and Amber's thoughts on parenting and having children?
I couldn't believe I woke up at 10 to 6 this morning. I was like, oh my God, hallelujah.
Every night you get up to a wee? Or else I wake up in the morning and I am bushed. Like this morning I woke up bushed for a wee. I have a friend who gets up four times to wee. That's not right. Like, stop. Like, do you not remember because of the bad wetting, we weren't allowed to have drinks after a certain time. Yeah. I do that. I take Otto for a little wee in the middle of the night now.
Just what he gets used to.
And would he have a little middle every night? Would he wake up?
He does have a little wee every night. He's so cute and he snuggles right into it. That's when he's at his best behaved. I went to order an egg sloth today. I don't know if anyone is from the UK. It's from Ireland. You probably don't know what an egg sloth is. It's these fancy egg sandwiches. And I just, I don't know. I saw a girl and she comes on and she's like, I'm hungover. Look at my order.
And she's this like kind of posh English girl. And she is a phenomenal order of hangover food.
But she ordered from multiple places.
Well, once she did because her Chinese didn't show up and then she got something else.
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Chapter 8: What advice did they give about navigating relationships with exes?
And the amount of volume of food she ordered, she stands there and eats it in front of you. And she ordered an egg slot and I was like, I want an egg slot. So I got one. Well, I tried to order one today and then they said there was no drivers on a different app. And then I delivered a different egg face and I just... Oh, no, no, no, no. You never do that. You can't do that. You cannot do that.
No. Well, I made, I tried to make the salmon thing and it did not taste as I thought it would taste. I was thinking to myself, I don't remember using creme fraiche for this before. So I got a few darns of salmon from the fishmongers because we live in a fishing village here. Oh, you took yourself to the fishmonger. And it just, I was like, oh my God, this creme fraiche smells delicious.
It smells like yogurt.
But it just, maybe I didn't have enough mayonnaise or something. Do you know what I want? I want to get into cottage cheese. Everyone's talking about it. I can't, no, I can't with that. A girl in work used to make cottage cheese.
Is it smelly?
Oh, it really perforates the old nasal. Oh, really? What does it smell like? Just cheese? I like cheese. Poof. It just, it kind of stings your nose a little bit. Oh no, like old yogurt. A little bit, but I think you might like it. Back to my wake-ups.
So not this morning, yesterday morning, fucking randomly woke up at like 25 to 6.
But it was because... I mean, I was listening to the rest is politics and the rest is entertainment. And the woman was like, there's nothing more mundane than somebody talking about their sleep habits. And we have been talking about our sleep habits.
This is at Vogue. Vogue, these fuckers. There was like...
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