We Gotta Thing - A Swinger Podcast

Episode 151: The Resort- A Gateway to Ethical Non-Monogamy

19 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we review our trip to 'The Resort' which was first introduced by George in episode 137. The Resort is a new opportunity to step into e...

Episode 150: Is the Lifestyle Addictive?

05 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Can the lifestyle become an addiction? Well, it can if we don't recognize what's going on in our brains. In this episode with Catherine from Expansive...

Episode 149: How to Be a Power Couple in the Lifestyle

11 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

What does it take to be 'successful' as a couple in the world of non-monogamy? In this episode we discuss waht we believe to be the four most importan...

Episode 148: Reframing Christian Faith and the Lifestyle

28 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Do you struggle with your understanding of how non-monogamy reconciles with a life of faith? Join us for a thought provoking conversation with Dr Mitc...

Episode 147: Safer Sex with STD Hero

16 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

One of the most common concerns for those in the lifestyle or considering non-monogamy is the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection or ...

Episode 146: How Relationships Change Over Time

30 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We all know that all relationships, monogamous and non-monogamous, will change over time. Many of those changes will lead to the relationship ending. ...

Episode 145: Ask Us (And Our Friends) Anything

16 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This 'ask us anything' episode was recorded live at our 9th annual group trip to Desire Pearl. Not only did we answer questions but our friends helped...

Episode 144: Lifestyle Coaching in the Aftermath of Loss

26 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

As a follow up to our episode 142, we hear from Catherine about how the ending of her marriage is affecting her coaching business at Expansive Connect...

Episode 143: Swinging & Polyamory- Are We More Alike than We Think?

12 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We are joined by Dedeker, Emily and Jase from the Multiamory* podcast to discuss the similarities and differences between the swinging lifestyle and p...

Episode 142: Catherine's Story- "My Marriage Fell Apart"

28 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This episode gets very real and very personal. Catherine, from Expansive Connection Relationship Coaching, tells her story of how her marriage fell ap...

Episode 141: What Newbies Need to Know and Veterans Need to Remember

25 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Join us and Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching as we discuss the six most important things those new to the lifestyle need to know and us veter...

Episode 140: Back in the Swing of Things

11 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

None of us are immune from having 'real life' issues disrupt our relationship or our current life plans and goals. Health issues, family responsibilit...

Episode 139: Our Enneagram Coaching Session

27 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In episode 136 Kel, from Expansive Connection Coaching explained all nine Enneagram personality types and motivations. Listen in on this real-time coa...

Episode 138: Describing the Lifestyle- Respectful, Pervy, Cool-Ass People

14 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When we hear the word 'swinger' or 'lifestyle' the first time we may think of key parties, sleezy sex clubs, orgies with strangers and lots of pervert...

Episode 137: 'The Resort'- A New Concept for Lifestyle Vacationers

31 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Join us as we chat with the founder of a brand new lifestyle vacation spot in Jamaica- 'The Resort.' This upscale venue gives lifestyle travelers an a...

Episode 136: The Enneagram- Know Your Number!

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Join us as Kel from Expansive Connection explains the Enneagram system which offers numerous benefits for personal and professional development by pro...

Episode 135: Origin Story- Going Deeper with Kurt & Vicki

09 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This 'Origin Story' format episode features our friends Kurt & Vicki and highlights another unique journey into and through non-monogamy. Perhaps thei...

Episode 134: Facing the "What-ifs" Fears of Non-monogamy

27 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Are you considering trying non-monogamy or perhaps learning how to navigate the swinging lifestyle environment? Are you paralyzed by the 'what-ifs?' W...

Episode 133: 10 Attributes of Successful Swingers

20 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

So you think you've got what it takes to be 'successful' in the swinging lifestyle? From our 11 years of experience, we share what we believe to be th...

Episode 132: Our Differences Make Us Better

28 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Why do we usually react to the word 'different' as something negative? Our differences can help us to learn more about ourselves which can lead to ind...

Episode 131: Finding Your Tribe in the We Gotta Thing Community

14 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What makes the WGT community unique? We are not a dating site. We are not like a Facebook group. Nor are we similar to a Discord server, a Slack chann...

Episode 130: All About 'Swolly' Relationships

24 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Catherine from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us to help define that 'squishy' term that is a result of some combination of 'swinging' and 'polya...

Episode 129: Taming the Voices Inside My Head

21 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

You're awake again at 3:00am. You can't go back to sleep. You calculate how much sleep you'll have if you go back to sleep right now. Then, while star...

Episode 128: Enough With the Pineapples! How to Make Connections in the Wild

17 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We are contantly bombarded with lifestyle symbols and the promises they bring of attracting lifestyle couples to us in our day-to-day lives! From upsi...

Episode 127: Trust- What It Is Not

29 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What is trust not? Trust is not a feeling that someone else creates in us with their actions. Some of us think we can trust people only when they are ...

Episode 126: The Many Flavors of Jealousy

31 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Fearing or experiencing jealousy is one of the biggest reasons couples either don't try the lifestyle or don't last in the lifestyle. Why is that? It'...

Episode 125: A Live Celebration of 10 Years Podcasting!

11 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Please join us in celebrating 10 years recording the We Gotta Thing podcast! This is a very special episode recorded live with a group of our closest ...

Episode 124: Handling Rejection in the Lifestyle

30 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us as we dive into the topic of being rejected in the lifestyle. We all experience the negative emotio...

Episode 123: The Many Meanings of 'Connection' in the Lifestyle

07 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Why do we want to connect with others? What are some ways we connect with others? What types of connections may we experience? How do we stay connecte...

Episode 122: Non-monogamy Takes Work- How Much Are You Willing to Invest?

29 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Jason from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us this month to discuss the 'non-quantifiable' work involved in exploring non-monogamy. Based on our W...

Episode 121: Origin Stories- Mark and Beth Canuck

04 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Listen in as our friends Mark and Beth share their unique journey into and exploration of non-monogamy! We also review our Virgin Cruise out of Barce...

Episode 120: The Benefits and Challenges of Non-monogamy with Expansive Connection

16 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Kel from Expansive Connection coaching joins us to discuss some of the benefits and challenges one may encounter when choosing to explore the non-mono...

Episode 119: The Value of Counseling in the Non-monogamous World

21 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Having experienced counseling ourselves over the past few months, we invite Catherine from Expansive Connection to talk with us about how those in non...

Episode 118: Desire Riviera Maya and a Life Less Vanilla

30 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Listen in as we review the brand new "The Eden" section of Desire Riviera Maya! We also enlist the help of many of our friends in a live recording fro...

Episode 117: Non-Monogamy is an Adult Activity

20 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Most of us have mastered being 'adult-like' in all aspects of our lives. We are experienced at life. We are parents, spouses/partners, coaches, employ...

Episode 116: How Vulnerability Enhances Your Lifestyle Journey

09 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Being vulnerable is not easy and may not come natural for some, espcially when exploring the lifestyle. We tend to wall off our personal lives because...

Episode 115: Are You Too Nice?

26 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Are you the type of person who puts the feelings of others above of your own? Do you want to have a stronger voice when someone suggests something yo...

Episode 114: Is a Kiss Just a Kiss?

31 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We explore the perceptions and realities of what, exactly a kiss can mean to those in the lifestyle community. Does granting a kiss commit me to a sex...

Episode 113: The Realities of Clothing Optional Resorts

05 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Listen in on our live recording from Desire Pearl where our guests discuss their unique perspectives, perceptions and realities of the term 'clothing ...

Episode 112: An Origin Story- Scott & Kelly

09 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Join Mr & Mrs Jones and they interview "Scott & Kelly." This couple's journey into the lifestyle sounds like many other origin stories but then takes ...

Episode 111: Finding Who You Weren't Looking For

11 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

As newbies we started our lifestyle journey looking for people to connect with and then explore sexually. Back then it was all about the excitment, th...

Episode 110: An Origin Story- Chris and Nancy

28 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Chris and Nancy share their amazing and unique story of finding the lifestyle through a period of intense emotional exploration after being together f...

Episode 108: Navigating Vacation Playtime

30 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Many couples ask about how to 'successfully' navigate a clothing optional resort. How do we find couples like us? How do we socialize with others with...

Episode 107: Our Temptation Grand Miches Experience

23 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In advance of our group trip to Temptation Grand Miches in the Dominican Republic we visited the resort to experience it ourselves. Through constructi...

Episode 106: Navigating Cliques in the Lifestyle

28 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We hear story after story about the difficulties many (and mostly newer) couples in the lifestyle experience when encountering 'cliques' while attendi...

Episode 105: Origin Stories- "J&B 2.0"

26 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Listen in on our conversation with our friends "J&B 2.0" as they share their particular story of how they discovered and began exploring the lifestyle...

Episode 104: Choosing a Lifestyle Event with Cate from PCAP

30 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Finding lifestely events and then choosing which event is the best fit for your approach to the lifestyle can be difficult and often confusing. Listen...

Episode 103: Facing First-Timer Fears at Desire Resorts

21 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Listen in as our event guests discuss working through their individual fears, anxieties and challenges at a clothing optional resort during our week t...

Episode 102: You Gotta Own Your Own Sh*t

07 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We sit down with four of our lifestyle friends and share real stories about what it's like to experience hurt feelings during an event and how to diss...

Episode 101: Deal Breakers

13 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We discuss four distinct behaviors we consider to be deal breakers to moving forward and possibly making new lifestyle friends and connecting with pot...

Episode 100: Are You Willing to Put in the Hard Work?

31 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Finding your tribe, making lifelong friends, connecting for sexy playtime and growing your primary relationship are just a few ways to define 'success...

Episode 99: Harnessing That New Relationship Energy

31 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

New Relationship Energy (NRE) is that sexual buzz we feel when we first meet and connect with a couple or individual. We discuss navigating this heigh...

Episode 98: The Need for Lifestyle Community

21 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

As the idea and exploration of consensual non-monogamy continues to grow we have noticed the need for organized community. The different flavors and d...

Episode 97: Our Thing Might Not Be Your Thing

25 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

To quote Mrs Jones, "we should be an example and not a blueprint." It may seem natural to adapt our 'thing' into your lifestyle journey but that could...

Episode 96: Non-Monogamy Coaching by Expansive Connection

24 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Catherine (one of our favorite humans) and her team from Expansive Connection join us to discuss how they have created a unique method of coaching non...

Episode 95: The Lifestyle IS Real Life

30 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We often hear couples suggest they are taking a break from the lifestyle due to 'real life' issues. We also hear some say that 'real life' is getting ...

Episode 94: Is it Jealousy or Envy?

16 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Have you experienced lifestyle play partners getting a little upset when you choose to spend time with others? How about hard feelings when one of you...

Episode 93: What if We Are Outed?

17 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This is the most important topic that nobody wants to talk about! Chances are this won't happen to you (as it did us) but we still want to help prepar...

Episode 92: Snapshots from Desire Pearl

30 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Listen in as our guests share their Desire Pearl 2021 snapshots in a recorded-live conversation from the resort! Some are thoughtful and meaningful, s...

Episode 91: Rejected Again- Why Don't They Like Us?

31 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This month we discuss why other couples reject us when reaching out from a lifestyle dating site and how to improve our chances of success in the futu...

Episode 90: The Importance of Trust in the Lifestyle

23 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We discuss the importance of trust from four different angles: trusting your relationship, trusting each other, trusting other couples and trusting wh...

Episode 89: Enjoying Group Play

30 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Group play can be fun but also tricky! In this episode we explore the benefits and pitfalls and share our perspective on how we approach and navigate ...

Episode 88: The Art of Avoiding Mistakes

26 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

No matter how long you've been in the lifestyle you are going to make mistakes. So we've come up with a few tips to help you minimize those mistakes a...

Episode 87: Normalization by Exposure

23 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we discuss how our perceptions change to our reality the more we are exposed to actual events. All of us have pre-lifestyle perception...

Episode 86: Being Bi-Something in the Lifestyle

19 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There are perceptions in the lifestyle that a woman must be 'bi-something' to attract and connect with other couples. On the men's side of things ther...

Episode 85: Feels Like the First Time

26 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Perhaps you have not had your first play experience yet or haven't had one in a very long time due to the current pandemic. Preparing for that first p...

Episode 84: The Let Down- Can We Still Be Friends?

30 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Do you struggle with if, when and how to tell other couples you're not interested in meeting? What about after you've played and you've lost interest?...

Episode 83: The Struggle is Real

22 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Not only does real life often get in the way of engaging in the lifestyle, but simply staying sexually connected as a couple is a struggle. Add a glob...

Episode 82: The Compatibility Conversation

22 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We believe there are three important components of compatibility that we need to consider when trying to find connections with people in the lifestyle...

Episode 81: The Language of the Lifestyle

30 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we discuss the idea that there is a unique language spoken by those in the swinging lifestyle. We believe this language is comprised o...

Episode 80: Finding True Friends in the Lifestyle

31 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We talk a lot about all the special friendships we've made in the lifestyle and many of you express frustration over finding the type of connections w...

Episode 79: Can We Afford the Lifestyle?

27 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

It's not a secret that engaging in the lifestyle can be expensive! In this episode we discuss budgeting tips for your lifestyle adventures and why we ...

Episode 78: How Do I Know She is Interested in Me?

31 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Men are programmed through all aspects of life to avoid showing interest in other women. But now we are in this lifestyle where other women expect us ...

Episode 77: I Never Imagined I Would Ever...

27 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Before entering the lifestyle or becoming experienced in the lifestyle we never imagined doing some of the things we've actually done and things we've...

Episode 76: Be Authentic- Acknowledging All Facets of You

29 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

As we are mired in the current pandemic many of us are being pulled back away from our social and sexual mindsets. When we are concerned about our job...

Episode 75: Confronting Men's Performance Issues

26 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Erectile Dysfunction and Performance Anxiety are often misunderstood by many in the lifestyle. Numerous couples experience this issue but don't take t...

Episode 74: Health, Wellness, Hormones and the Lifestyle

23 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

As we all focus on staying well during this pandemic we thought it a good time to talk about a few health related issues and how they impact our lifes...

Episode 73: Opposites Attract?

23 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We've all heard the term 'opposites attract' when talking about relationships. Does the same hold true when finding connections in the lifestyle? Do w...

Episode 72: Voices Inside My Head-Don't Be Your Own C***Blocker

17 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

We are all guilty of creating false narratives and making up those stories in our heads as we consider approaching another couple in the lifestyle. So...

Episode 71: The Kiss and Tell Dilemma

15 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we discuss the issue of 'Kissing and Telling' in the lifestyle. How do you feel about couples sharing personal details about a private...

Episode 70: Desire 2019- Reflections by the Ladies

16 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Listen in on our conversation with a resort full of imperfect but beautiful ladies! The ladies of Desire discuss what they've had to realize and overc...

Episode 69: Consent- More Than Words

12 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

We all agree consent is a bedrock principle in the lifestyle but most conversations around this topic focus on verbal consent.  We'll talk about usin...

Episode 68: The 'Social Sexy' Lifestyle

21 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Topic- Some people are either put off by the term "swinger" or have misperceptions of what it really means today. We've decided to use the term 'Socia...

Episode 67: Eyes Wide Open- Lifestyle Red Flags

23 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

We discuss identifying red flags in other couples and how to respond when you see them. We also talk about red flags that pop up within your own relat...

Episode 66: Discovering Your Lifestyle Tribe

19 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

When first considering reasons for entering the lifestyle making lifelong friends is not normally the goal. But after getting used to connecting with ...

Episode 65: The Golden Rules of the Lifestyle

22 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Discussion topic: We often focus on rules and guidelines "inside the bedroom" but in this episode we discuss what we consider to be the golden rules o...

Episode 64: Race in the Lifestyle

17 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Join our conversation with Bomber and The Belle from the Black & Kinky Podcast as we discuss the issue of race in the lifestyle today. As a black coup...

Episode 63: Lifestyle Chemistry 101

20 May 2019

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we discuss what "chemistry" in the lifestyle means to us and how it's different from attraction.  Is chemistry between others instant...

Episode 62: Putting Yourself Out There- Lifestyle Profiles 2.0

22 Apr 2019

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode we talk with the creators of the brand new lifestyle website Double Date Nation, Dave and Andi.  The four of us discuss our ideas and...

BONUS Episode 61: Do You Know George?

28 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

George has been hosting elaborate and sexy lifestyle events all over the world for 15 years. Since we've attended several and get many questions about...

Episode 60: What's Age Got to Do with It?

11 Mar 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Discussion Topic: In Part 2 of our judgment series we are joined by our "much younger friends" to talk about how age factors in to meeting, connecting...

Episode 59: Judgment in the Lifestyle

18 Feb 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Discussion Topic: We all have experienced being judged.  However, we don't often reflect on how we judge others or why so many people in the lifesty...

Episode 58: Out of Your Comfort Zone and into Paradise

15 Jan 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Discussion Topic: The swinging lifestyle is a place we go to grow our relationship.  But to experience any kind of personal or relationship growth w...

Episode 57: Lifestyle Goals- What is Your Why?

12 Dec 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Discussion Topic: Does being in the lifestyle mean a race to full-swap? Will we find ourselves always wanting more? Why does trying the lifestyle seem...

Episode 56: Seven Habits of Highly Successful Swingers

05 Nov 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Discussion Topic: Using Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, we align how those same habits can make you successful as a couple in...

Episode 55: Finding Our Happy Place in the Lifestyle

09 Oct 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Discussion topic: In this episode we catch you all up to date on what we've been going through since we were "outed" as lifestyle podcasters 18 months...

Episode 54: Drama in the Lifestyle

17 Sep 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Discussion topic: Most agree we'd like to avoid any drama in a lifestyle experience.  But is this a realistic expectation? Is drama such a bad thing?...

Episode 53: The Discretion Dilemma

20 Aug 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Discussion topic: In this episode we discuss the tension between wanting to be discreet yet at the same time wanting to know as much as possible about...

Episode 52: Play Preferences- Newbies or Veterans?

15 Jul 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Discussion Topic: We share sexy stories from our trip to Desire Pearl and discuss the benefits and drawbacks of sexual play with newbies and veteran ...

Episode 51: Awkward Lifestyle Encounters

19 Jun 2018

Contributed by Lukas

Discussion Topic- Whether it's your very first play experience or you've been swinging for years awkward encounters will always be a part of your life...