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Chapter 1: What insights do Louisa and Jack share about cemetery planning?
Friday, you ain't got no job, and you ain't got shit to do. Hello, Bedwetters, and welcome back to the We Mean Well podcast, hosted by Louisa Daldin and Jack Archdale. Strap yourselves in for what will be a truly insightful and life-changing experience.
I've got some serious to talk about. Yep. I think we need to buy our cemetery slot. Yeah, why? Because I walked past the ones near ours and it's got a really nice view. I'm getting burnt, not buried. But won't you have a little like almost like the size of a hamster coffin? I don't think so. In the ground with your little ashes? No, I don't think so.
My grandma looks like she's in a Messina container. Yeah. It's fucked up. Yeah, my Nana was, oh no, was Nana, I think, yeah, Nana was in a little box at the end of her husband's. One year we were playing charades at family Christmas and I bought Nan out and I put her up front and I just went back and I'm like, the ashes! And it didn't go down well. That's great, Willie. Oh, that is good.
Can you Google for me how much, say, like, somewhere in Sydney a cemetery slot is? Mate. I think they're expensive. It would depend on where it was. You've got to buy them, like, together. Not saying that you and I will be buried together. It sounded like that, buddy. It did, didn't it? Yeah. I didn't mean it like that. But we could. Me, you, Steph, and Wamps.
Yeah, we could, but I reckon I'm just going to get burnt. So the price varies from $5,000 to $45,000. Fuck me swinging. Fuck me, what's the $45,000 one? I want it now. Probably where you're looking with a view. Yeah. You'd assume. Yeah. What's the point? You can't even see the cunt. You might have to put a deposit down. Can you put deposits down, surely? So the one in Matreville is $14,800. Wow.
And that's got a bit of a view. $14,800? Fucking burn me in Wolker, bro.
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Chapter 2: How do the hosts react to the gift giveaway roasts?
What's in Wolker? Yeah, premium waterfront locations are $100,000 plus. Fuck me. That to me is idiotic. Like your brown bread. But you've got to do it so that you can fit, like say it's to you or your whole family. It's probably also where the cost comes in. Well, I don't know if you know this, Louisa, but I love graveyards. I love cemeteries. I know, that one near ours is stunning.
Well, it's got the Packers in it. It's a good place to die. Have you seen the tomb?
Chapter 3: What is Lulu's karaoke performance about?
The Packers tomb there. There's heaps of tombs. Yeah, but this is one like the Packer family. They've got a big tomb there. As in James Packer, not our Jimmy. Not our Jimmy. Jimmy's alive. But they've got a mob there. But I just find them, I love them. I love walking through them. I walk Brutus through it all the time and I just see different graves that I haven't seen.
Like I found one the other day. So what have you found? Found a bloke the other day. He was like a race car driver in the maybe 30s or the 40s. But how do you know? Does it say on his body? I looked him up because I had a photo of him and it was like blah, blah, blah. Died out at the fucking Maryville racetrack or some shit somewhere. And I looked him up and he was a mad race car driver.
Like a full like weapon. Real life Lightning McQueen. That's it. But he died in a crash. And then I just love a lot in that cemetery. Oh, he died. At least he died loving what he does. Yeah. Doing what he loves. Doing what he loves, yeah. Loving what he does. Well, he did love it. Yeah, he did love what he did. Yeah.
And there's heaps of them that were born in like 1812 and then they were buried there in like 1872. And I'm like, fuck, I love this shit. They would have seen some things. Seriously. It's just like, it's just very interesting. You know what's weird? In a cemetery or cemetery, I don't know how I like to say it. Cemetery. Cemetery. Cemetery. Cemetery. Cemetery sounds like symmetry.
I'm going to go with cemetery. Cemetery. Seems too long. Cemetery. It doesn't roll off your tongue like cemetery. You reckon? Yeah, cemetery. Cemetery. Oh, yeah, now it sounds weird. Cemetery sounds like someone who was a soldier's cemetery from 1984. I think it sounds like a principal at a school who Terry has been playing up and he goes, mate, it's time to see me, Terry. I'll see me, Terry.
It's time to see me, Terry. Or I've got to see me. I've got to see me, Terry. Yeah, well, hopefully not a principal. Okay, so Jack's on his 75 hard. No, I'm sorry. And now he's hurt his heart and his chest from working out too much. So now you're just reversing all the good work you've done and you're just going to – you're fucked. I can't help that I got injured. You can.
I damaged – I was sparring the other day in boxing. Work harder, fast play. No. And I fucking – I've damaged the cartilage of three of my ribs. Are you going for work smarter, not harder there? That, Willie. What the fuck did you say? Work harder, not – Faster. Some way. Something. Way off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good. Anyway, so I'm in a bit of pain, but it is what it is. Then you die.
Well, at least you live your cemetery. Maybe I do need a biplot. No, don't say that. Touch wood. Fuck, I've got my bloods back. Not looking great. Optimal now. Yeah. Hey, the old ticker, not looking great. Don't worry, we'll be in it together, mate. Getting my iron transfusion. I've got low iron too. How the fuck do I have low iron? I'll fucking deep throat red meat like there's no tomorrow.
Sometimes you just don't... What did you eat? More chicken or red meat, do you reckon? Red. No, but sometimes it might be how you're absorbing it. That's why I think when I find out from a poop test, obviously bring it in here and put it on the shelf. I love that. Put it on the coffee table. Because you might not be absorbing things. Fuck me dead.
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Chapter 4: What are the details of Jack's 75 Hard challenge experience?
I reckon we spoke about this like dead set two months ago, if that. Probably. We always talk about it. Probably. But yeah, Violet, you'd be running a hog. Yeah, I reckon you'd run a fucking big veiny tramp and bastard. She looked at me and goes, thank you. What's so cute? Why? Can I tell you exactly why? You've got big dick energy. You've got BDE. That's exactly why. But I've kind of got BDE.
No, what you have, you have a misplaced confidence. Small man syndrome. You've got small man syndrome. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chapter 5: How do the hosts discuss the impacts of their health and fitness journeys?
Not misplaced. You're very much look at me. You're very much look at me, look at me. Violet just operates. People will look at Violet without her having to be like, Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. This feels like an attack. It's not an attack. Violet just radiates big dick energy. It feels like an attack. No, this is the thing. You just said meme. Oh, there's button. Here we go.
Let's see the button cock, please. Oh, button. Button. Oh, mate. Guys. When did they take that photo of me? Oh, yeah. Actually, get that down, Willie. That's not funny. Violet, come have a look at Button. Come have a look at this. That's the Button penis. Don't put this up, Willie. No, no, no. Yeah. See the way Violet laughed at that? Yeah. She found that so pathetic. You got BDA, dog. Button.
But I'm laughing at it. Yeah, but yours is more of a, oh, I think that resonates with me, a little laugh. Violets is a disgusted lover. Trying to hide the fact that that looks like hers. Hey, it's exactly what I'm doing. Barton, Josh got so angry yesterday on radio because it was like silent and sometimes I'm fine with silence but sometimes I'm not.
I was singing, feel the rain on your skin and no one else was talking. Everyone was in their own little worlds doing their thing. And then I go, huh, singing. And I go, is this AI? Can anyone help me? Guys, is this AI? And Josh goes, shut the fuck up. I didn't even. It was a legitimate reaction. And I went, oh, sorry. We're all sitting there. The girls are working.
They're producing, doing whatever they're fucking doing. Digilock's there making a video. I'm there in between a break. And it was just yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, yap. But I'm not always like that. Guys, is this AI? What is this? Have you seen this? And I just go, shut the fuck up. It was pretty aggressive. I was like, Lou, shut up. And then I was like, ooh, I've been speaking out.
And then Dan, who's been filling in, he goes, oh, I love it. He goes, you just say whatever's in your brain. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah, it was very funny. But anyway, you're a legend, mate. You're one of our best friends. No, it wasn't. You're a legend. It was fake as fuck. No, we're just going back to the cock thing, you know? Button's a cute nickname though. Can you guys call me Button?
You guys have – it's a bit too cute. Have you guys – no, like imagine me going – What's with all these backhanded gaslighting narcissistic comments? Don't just go to the word narcissistic because you don't agree with something. No, that's because it's written on your forehead. Sorry, John. Sorry, John. Guys, can we all be in agreeance here?
And I think you'll agree once I put it in context, Louisa. We're downstairs. There's people around. There's the lovely people behind the bloody counter. And I go, now, what would you like this morning, Button? Now, they're going to think we're a couple. It's too cute. But it suits me. I am cute. You're annoying as fuck. Oh, but I'm a cuter annoying. But we can't be calling you button.
I could call you button. Come on, button. Grab your backpack. Button, don't forget your keys. Talk to wumps. I think talk to wumps. Okay. Speaking of. Did you ever watch the series War of the Buttons? The movie, The War of the Buttons, an old Irish film. Fucking brilliant. War of the Buttons. I believe it was called The War of the Buttons. It was just heaps of micro-penises going poof, poof.
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