We Read Movies

Boy Culture: Generation X

29 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the sequel, 20 years in the making, to Q Allen Brocka's film Boy Culture, about a very sex-negative prostitute who bums everyone...

Henry Gamble's Birthday Party

23 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the coming of age teen movie Henry Gamble's Birthday Party, about the most terrible pool party you've ever imagined. Dark secret...

Codename: Dynastud

09 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, not to spoil things too much, but we watched the actually very fun superhero/spy comedy/thriller Codename: Dynastud. In the distant dystopi...

Birder

11 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the only somewhat incomprehensible 2023 thriller (?) Birder, which is described on IMDb as being about a "bird watcher who inva...

Emilia Perez

28 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We're back! This week, we watched the Academy-beloved, audience-disliked 2024 movie Emilia Perez. Does the Spanish-language musical about a trans Mexi...

The Little Hours (with Tyler Mead)

13 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we had special guest Tyler Mead on to talk about the 2017 comedy (mostly?) The Little Hours. Based on one story from The Decamaron (apparen...

Pitchfork

15 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We're back! After a long hiatus while Chris moved across country, we're officially in full swing again, and bringing you a talk about the 2016 slasher...

Vampires: Brighter in Darkness

24 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

After a brief hiatus, we're back, with the truly amazing bad movie Vampires: Brighter in Darkness. Vampires are real, y'all, and they're all gay, obvi...

Brooklyn Bizarre

22 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the not-really-a-movie movie Brooklyn Bizarre. It's 80-90% montages of upsetting weirdo burlesque performances, and then there's...

Departing Seniors

01 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week we watched the 2023 slasher movie Departing Seniors. When a gay high-schooler is pushed down the stairs by bullies, the blow to his head tha...

Adam and Steve

11 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2005 rom-com Adam and Steve featuring Parker Posey and Chris Kattan (and starring two other people). We say rom-com, but the...

Devil's Path

19 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2018 thriller Devil's Path. When two obvious lunatics meet on a cruising ground within a state park, each with their own sec...

The Fruit Machine

05 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 1988 British film The Fruit Machine. Which, yes, does mean it's time for some positively terrible accents from us while we d...

Holiday Heart (with Mark Finley)

22 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we were joined by Seattle drag royalty Mark Finley to talk about the movie that he appears in, Holiday Heart. When a drag queen with the le...

Scrooge and Marley

11 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we got into the Christmas spirit with the 2013 movie Scrooge and Marley, a gay retelling of A Christmas Carol that implies the two title ch...

Baby Steps

27 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched Baby Steps, the sequel to the 2018's Say Yes, which you may remember from a past episode, is about a woman with cancer who decid...

The Singing Forest

13 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched The Singing Forest, a movie that we have a lot of theories and questions about. Questions like, "why?" and "wait, what?!" IMDb c...

eXploited

30 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2022 "thriller" eXploited, which is in no way related to eXistenZ, despite their shared love of capitalizing letters in the ...

The Covenant

16 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2006 homoerotic boarding school witch movie The Covenant, starring Sebastian Stan and Steven Strait. Although it's not a "ga...

Out of Body

02 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2020 movie Out of Body. When a demon is released from an orb (you know how all orbs have demons living inside them?), and po...

Open Cam

11 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2005 film Open Cam, which only served to reinforce for Chris that he's getting older and will someday die. A serial killer i...

Red, White and Royal Blue

28 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we (along with 6 million straight women) watched the 2023 movie Red, White and Royal Blue. A Rom-Com (but hold the com, please) about the s...

The Men Next Door

14 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2012 Rob Williams film The Men Next Door. When a sad sack without any real friends starts dating both a father and his son a...

Love, Simon

31 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2018 young adult film Love, Simon, a movie that's about 50% emails. When a closetted gay teen is blackmailed with emails tha...

Deadly Skies

17 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2006 made for HereTV movie Deadly Skies, starring future neo-con Antonio Sabato Jr. When an planet killer asteroid threatens...

Fire Island (but not THAT one)

03 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2023 slasher movie Fire Island, not to be confused with the 2022 rom-com Fire Island. It may or may not be a sequel to past ...

Triple Crossed

12 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, after some mild technical difficulties, we're back! And we watched the 2013 gay hitman flick Triple Crossed, starring and directed by the v...

Love or Whatever

23 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2012 rom(?)-com(?) Love Or Whatever, the film that dared to ask the question, "can bi people be trusted?" And that also dare...

Back Soon

01 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2007 Rob Williams (not to be confused with Robin Williams) movie Back Soon. When a straight drug dealer gets a horny dead la...

Swallowed

17 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2022 body horror (or so we were led to believe) movie Swallowed. When a gay guy and his best straight friend get roped into ...

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

03 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, for the podcast's three-year birthday, after threatening to do it for so long, we decided to torture ourselves by watching the Kevin James ...

Knock at the Cabin

20 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the very recent M. Night Shyamalan movie Knock At the Cabin. Ostensibly a movie with gay main characters, and we don't want to s...

Eating Out: Drama Camp

06 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we invited our good friends Mike and Kyle back to watch the fourth and most excruciating of the Eating Out movies: Drama Camp. A camp of qu...

Too Much Sun

13 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 1990 Eric Idle, Andrea Martin, Robert Downey Jr., and Ralph Macchio movie Too Much Sun. After a murdered millionaire's will ...

Socket

30 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the very strange and David Cronenberg-ian 2007 movie Socket. After he's struck by lightning and develops electricity vampire pow...

Dashing in December

16 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we're late in discussing the Hallmark original Christmas movie Dashing in December. It's your standard Hallmark fare, guy from the big city...

Kiss Me Deadly

26 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the Shannen Doherty and Robert Gant gay spy thriller Kiss Me Deadly, produced for Here TV. Well, one of us did. The other two wa...

A Wedding Most Strange

05 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we talked for a solid three and a half hours about the 85 minute long movie A Wedding Most Strange, and then Chris painstakingly took out a...

My Fake Boyfriend

21 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the recent Buzzfeed Productions movie My Fake Boyfriend, an incoherent tale of what happens when you make a fake boyfriend for s...

Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

31 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It's every gay's favorite holiday, Halloween! So to get into the spooky spirit we watched the not-explicitly-gay-but-oh-so-gay horror movie Nightmare ...

They/Them (with Adam Sass)

10 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, for Spooky Season we watched the recent LGBTQ+ Kevin Bacon horror movie They/Them, about a killer who's stalking a gay conversion camp. Exc...

At the End of the Day

19 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2018 gay christian movie At the End of the Day, about a bigot who learns, through subterfuge and the power of love, to be sl...

Ice Blues

15 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the fourth and final (until we get that Kickstarter off the ground) movie in the Donald Strachey mysteries, Ice Blues. The most ...

House of Adam

01 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2006 movie House of Adam. Done by the same director as past episode D'Agostino, this movie purports to be a gay ghost story,...

Shadowlands

18 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2018 movie anthology. No, not that Shadowlands... No, not that Shadowlands either... The other one. The gay one. Okay, well,...

Cruising

04 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 1980 Al Pacino movie Cruising, about a serial killer stalking the gay S&M cruising community, and the undercover cop who...

SHORTS: Stonewall and Queer Pop Culture (with Matt Baume)

13 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, as a supplement to our episode on Stonewall, we had the incomparable Matt Baume on to talk to us about queer representation both before and...

Stonewall

06 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, because it's Pride Month, we talked about the 2015 movie Stonewall, the movie that asked, what if we took a real event and replaced almost ...

Hold Your Peace

23 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, Chris texted the group while drunk on a Wednesday at 12:30am and said "guys we NEED to do the 2011 movie Hold Your Peace. The movie is supe...

Kept Boy

12 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sorry it's late! Chris decided to eat at a disreputable but delicious teriyaki place and then be bedridden for 3 days with the worst case of food pois...

B&B

25 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, the very funny and excellent Duncan Robertson (author of Visegrad: A Novel) joined us to talk about the 2017 film B&B. When husbands Ma...

Death Drop Gorgeous

11 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2020 movie Death Drop Gorgeous. Not to confused with that other movie with a similar name, this one is about a slasher stalk...

Red Ribbon Blues

28 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched Red Ribbon Blues, a 1996 HIV medication heist film starring Paul Mercurio, Lipsinka, Debi Mazar, and RuPaul, but don't get too e...

Querelle

14 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the classic gay art house film Querelle. Ostensibly about murder, sailors and sex, it goes off the rails as soon as a lusty ship...

Groupers

28 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the incoherent 2019 moVie "Groupers". What starts as an Incoherent revenge plot to turn two homophobeS gay by connEcting them at...

Wedding Wars

14 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2006 John-Stamos-plays gay TV movie Wedding Wars. When a gay wedding planner finds out that his brother is deeply homophobic...

D'Agostino

31 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2012 movie D'Agostino, which bills itself as an gay movie, and which had us all sold the minute we saw the description in Tu...

Complete Strangers

17 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2020 movie Complete Strangers. When a guy with retrograde amnesia meets a guy who is very clearly trying to murder him, they...

Strapped

03 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the too-pretentious-even-for-Chris 2010 movie Strapped. When a hustler becomes trapped in an Alice in Wonderland like apartment ...

SHORTS: Catfish Killer

27 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we're bringing you our lost short episode, The Catfish Killer. The movie's about a guy and he's slashing people who catfished him, but that...

The Christmas Setup

20 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2020 Lifetime movie,The Christmas Setup. When an overbearing mother (Fran Drescher) sets her son up with a handsome milliona...

Everything is Free

06 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we talked about the 2017 movie Everything is Free. When Ivan, an American painter living in Colombia, is visited by his straight best frien...

On the Other Hand Death

22 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the third in the Donald Strachey mystery movies, On the Other Hand Death. When a greedy land developer plans to do something con...

Homewrecker

08 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we talked about the 2009 movie Homewrecker, a movie where the cover prominently advertises that it features Tiffany from the Eating Out Ser...

Cthulhu

25 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2007 film Cthulhu, a very loose gay retelling of the HP Lovecraft story,The Shadow Over Innsmouth. With an ambitious story, ...

Spiral

11 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, getting in the Halloween spirit early, we watched the 2019 horror movie Spiral. When a former club kid (Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman) moves to th...

Angels With Tethered Wings

27 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the soft core porn pretending to be an actual movie Angels With Tethered Wings. When twink porn stars Grant and Timmy are murder...

Boy Culture

13 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, because the long awaited sequel series is supposed to be coming out any day now, we talked about the 2006 film Boy Culture. Set in our home...

Steam Room Stories: The Movie

30 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2019 movie Steam Room Stories: The Movie, based on the long running queerbait-y web series of the same name. When an evil co...

Somefarwhere

16 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Everyone, this week's episode was tough on all of us. This movie doesn't make a bit of sense, and Eric may never forgive us for making him watch it. W...

Say Yes

02 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2018 movie, Say Yes, about a woman with terminal cancer, who's last and most serious wish is that after she dies, her husban...

Knife+Heart

19 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the somewhat confusing but genuinely enjoyable French thriller Knife+Heart. A killer is stalking the cast of a gay porn studio w...

Unhappy Birthday

05 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we talked about the 2010 movie Unhappy Birthday, which is hailed, in the Amazon description,as "a queer take on the Wicker Man" in that it'...

Mulligans

21 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Father's Day! If you thought we'd had enough of dad sex, you've clearly never found our internet search history, so this week we watched the 200...

The Dark Place

07 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2014 movie The Dark Place. When Keegan Dark (definitely a real person's name), a young guy with a perfect memory, comes home...

Daddy (with Minoritea Report)

24 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2015 movie Daddy. An older man who once donated sperm in college, and now has a habit of hooking up with younger guys, meets...

The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror

10 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2007 horror comedy The Gay Bed and Breakfast of Terror. Not nearly as campy as the title promised, this film follows five se...

Eating Out: All You Can Eat

26 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, Mike and Kyle of Gayish are back to talk about Eating Out: All You Can Eat. The third in the Eating Out Series, this film features a brand ...

SHORTS: Demons

19 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2017 short film Demons. In a world where murder is normal, but being gay is weird and gross, can a gay serial killer find ac...

Crisis Hotline

12 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2019 movie Crisis Hotline. When Simon, a jaded LGBT Crisis Hotline operator, gets a call from someone who claims he's going ...

Ben and Arthur

29 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

For our birthday episode, we watched the 2002 film Ben and Arthur, widely regarded as the worst gay movie in the world. Possibly even the worst movie ...

The Wolves of Kromer

15 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 1998 film The Wolves of Kromer. In a world where gay people are some sort of werewolves who live in the British countryside ...

Shock to the System

01 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2006 Shock to the System, the second in the Donald Strachey series of mysteries. Join us as we return to the Dirty Albs, and...

SHORTS: Jackplot

22 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2020 British short film Jackplot. For a movie with the word plot in the title, there's not a lot of it, so mostly we just ta...

Judas Kiss

15 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2011 time travel drama Judas Kiss. When failed director Zach agrees to judge a film competition at his old alma mater, he ma...

SHORTS: Do We Really Have to Say Goodbye?

08 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we talked about the short film Do We Really Have to Say Goodbye, a gay covid tale with a twist ending that's so short we padded it out with...

Vampire Boys 2: The New Brood

01 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, along with our special guests Butch Alice and Anya Knees, we talked about the 2013 film Vampire Boys 2: The New Brood. With naked fight sce...

Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild

18 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, Isabel Anderson, who also does our amazing episode art, joined us to talk about Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild. All of us, except Drew,...

The Love Patient

04 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we talked about the 2011 movie The Love Patient, about an awful man who fakes having cancer to get back with his ex who's in a much better ...

SHORTS: Andy The Talking Hedgehog

28 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week, at the suggestion of a listener who hates us, we watched the not even gay movie Andy the Talking Hedgehog. Starring Tara Reid and Dean Cain...

Midnight Kiss

21 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched Midnight Kiss, a Blumhouse presents horror movie about the dangers of kissing people on New Year's Eve, starring Captain America...

SHORTS: Luber

14 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we talked about the short gay film Luber, an exploration into the extreme depths of sadness, lust, and one man's parasite-filled butthole. ...

Walk a Mile in My Pradas

07 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched the 2011 movie Walk a Mile in My Pradas, about a straight guy who magically becomes gay thanks to Bruce Vilanch's magical Christ...

Is It Just Me?

23 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched Is It Just Me? the first film by JC Calciano, and by far his worst. When sad sack Blaine finds out that he accidentally catfishe...

SHORTS: G O'Clock

16 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we talked for a very long time about the short film G O'Clock, about a chemsex party gone awry. Well, more awry. Topics discussed: Pokemo...

Third Man Out

09 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we watched Third Man Out, the first of the Donald Strachey mystery series produced for HereTV. Starring Chad Allen as the most famous gay p...

Pornography: A Thriller

26 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we talked about Pornography: A Thriller, a 2010 movie that wants you to feel bad about watching porn, but also kind of wants to show you so...

I Was a Teenage Werebear (with Sean Paul Lockhart, aka Brent Corrigan)

21 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week, we were joined by the incomparable Sean Paul Lockhart (Brent Corrigan if you're nasty) to talk about the 2011 featurette I Was a Teenage We...

Hellbent

12 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

The spookiest month continues with Hellbent, a 2004 gay slasher flick, about a hot guy in a devil mask who murders West Hollywood gays for... some rea...

SHORTS: The More The Scarier

05 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

This week, for the spookiest month of them all, we watched a gay horror short about a horny ghost. It's only a 6 minute short, and most of that is lau...