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Chapter 1: What is Camp Night Vale and how can I participate?
Hello, Night Vale. It is me, Jeffrey Cranor, and I am here to tell you about Camp Night Vale. Yeah, we're planning a weekend long writers workshop March 5th through 7th, 2027 in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
This workshop is for writers of all kinds who want to spend a weekend in the desert doing guided writing exercises, participating in group discussions and readings and other fun, artsy, wordy things that are yet to be announced. This workshop will be taught by me and my Night Vale co-creator, Joseph Fink, and will be for a maximum of 20 in-person students.
Registration opens June 16th for our paid Patreon members. There's a $50 off tuition for Weird Scouter Hire members. Registration opens to the general public on June the 18th. More info at welcometonightvale.com slash Camp Night Vale. See y'all in the desert. Also, Make sure you pre-order The Nudge, a brand new horror novella by my Night Vale co-creator, Joseph Fink.
T. Kingfisher says The Nudge is a perfect little bite-sized horror. Some of these scenes are going to live in my head for a long, long time. The print version of The Nudge will feature original illustrations by Jessica Hayworth, and the audiobook format is read by Kevin R. Free and Cecil Baldwin. Pre-order The Nudge wherever you get your books.
Finally, you should consider joining the Night Vale Patreon. Like I said, you get early announcement on things like Camp Night Vale and live show tours. Plus, we have ongoing book clubs, monthly hangouts with me and Joseph, quarterly bonus episodes at free feeds, and much, much more. Our Patreon is what keeps this podcast going.
So consider a $5 or $10 a month membership and get so much more Night Vale in your life. And hey!
Thanks. Let that be a lesson for you. Specifically, a piano lesson. Remember to do your scales every morning. Welcome to Night Vale. Listeners, what a situation we find ourselves in as a community. Who could have seen it coming? After a year of investigating the murders of Marcus Vanston and Jalen Rutherford, we had the solution.
Jalen killed Marcus with the help of his ghost accomplice, who locked the room from the inside, thus providing the locked room part of the locked room mystery. As for Jalen, he was murdered by Harrison Kipp, and replaced by a double Jalen, who is now in jail awaiting trial for his double's crimes. So far, simple murder mystery stuff, like you'd read in any Nicholas Sparks novel.
But then, Dana called me with a frankly confusing message. She told me that we got the murder all wrong, that she had discovered new information that turned everything on its head. I rushed down to the jail to meet her, but by the time I got there, she had vanished, and no one knew where she went. What if she was right? What if there was more to this murder than we understood?
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Chapter 2: What new information changed the investigation of the murders?
I climb into the well, my fingers gripping painfully onto the rock.
Without any clear direction and with no new evidence, I must go to the only witness who saw the actual moment of murder. Dana's brother, Ethan Cardinal. I found him in Grove Park feeding the ducks. He didn't make eye contact with me, did not say hello. I'm sorry to do this, I told him. Then don't, he said. I have to know who killed Marcus Vanston, I said.
Chapter 3: How did Jalen's actions lead to Marcus Vanston's murder?
Ethan shrugged. God knows who killed him. Leave me alone. No, you know who killed him. Why won't you tell anyone? Ethan turned to me. His eyes were heavy-lidded and red. Every time I try to sleep, I see the murder again. I see it over and over. It is the worst thing I have ever seen that I ever could see. I wake up screaming, but I'm not even asleep. I'm just screaming.
I scream and scream instead of sleeping, Ethan told me. Maybe if you helped catch the person, you would feel better, I said. He shook his head. But then he said, if you want to know who killed Marcus Vanston, you need to start with the real question. I struggled to think what that could be. Why was he killed, I suggested. No. No, Ethan said. The why could not be more obvious.
No, Cecil, you must consider how was Marcus Vanston killed? How do you kill an angel? Figure that out and you'll have solved the murder. Then you'll know the same terrible truth that I do. Then you'll scream, scream and scream instead of sleeping. He turned away, stopped talking, and continued to feed the ducks.
The climb down the well is painful. My fingers slide on the rocks. My feet wedge awkwardly into cracks in the wall. My arms and legs are covered in friction burns. I clamp my teeth together. My jaw hurts. My whole body hurts. And then, my feet find the bottom.
Chapter 4: What role do ghosts play in the investigation?
There is no water in this well. I don't think there ever was. It's not that kind of well. The bottom is flat cobblestones. I flick my flashlight around and find a small hole in the wall against the floor. I would be crazy to crawl through there. I guess I'm crazy. I crawl through.
Have you ever seen those caving videos where people are wedged sideways, faces distorted by the rock around them, and you think, who would ever do that? Well, I envy those people for how roomy their caves are. I hold my breath because I am too big to bring air-filled lungs through this passage, and I pull myself frantically through the tiny crack. Fortunately, the passage is not long.
and I emerge in my destination. I am on a dark planet, lit by no sun. There is a dark ocean near me, waves like canyons, the roar of water like a wounded animal. The shore is scattered with rocks, grey and featureless. No sign of the well leading up, only a hole in one of the rocks from which I have just emerged. and hunched against one of the rocks is what I have been looking for.
Here is the murderer of Marcus Vanston.
Listeners, I have it. I have it. I figured out how an angel could be killed. And Ethan is right. If this is how Marcus was killed, then there is literally only one culprit possible. I must get to the sheriff and have the double of Jalen freed right away. He is innocent. I'm heading to the jail now. Oh, but first, it's your daily weather report sponsored by date shakes. Date shakes.
What if a milkshake had some dried fruit in it for some reason? Anyway, here's the weather.
Broke down Somehow standing Lost but not lost for good And that's what the margins say When they're still speaking Undefeated but not understood back down out of options past the point of all return let me be honest it'd be nice to be honest soon enough we will all have a turn
Burned out, still remaining Forgotten but not gone That's what the margins say when we're still listening I'll go on, I can't go on I'll go on, I can't go on.
I walk hesitantly forward. The creature eyes me warily. It seems jittery, like it might bolt or attack at any moment. It is vaguely human-shaped, with dark, smooth skin, large white eyes, no nose, a mouth that opens and shuts with little wet pops. Hello, my name is Dana Cardinal, I tell it. I reach a handout placatingly. I've come to see you about an angel formerly named Marcus Vanston.
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Chapter 5: What evidence contradicts the initial murder conclusions?
It is reaching for me. Oh, oh.
Welcome to Night Vale as a production of Night Vale Presents. It is written by Joseph Fink, Jeffrey Cranor, and Bree Williams. Sound design and production by Disparition. The voice of Dana is Jessica Nicole. The voice of Deb is Meg Bashwiner. The voice of Night Vale is Cecil Baldwin. Original music by Disparition. All of it can be found at disparition.net.
This episode's weather is City of Industry by Joseph Fink. Find out more at the link in our show notes. Comments, questions, email us at info at welcometonightvale.com or follow us on Blue Sky at Night Vale Radio or on Instagram, Tumblr, and TikTok at Night Vale Official or give in to your mildest impulses.
But mainly, check out welcometonightveil.com, where we have a twice-monthly mailing list that is the best way to keep up to date directly from us to you. No more social media. We're going back to emails. If you are able to, please support us on Patreon. It is our lifeline in a podcast business that goes up and down on the whims of the market.
There are a bunch of fun bonuses and a good community, and we literally could not make this show without it. Today's proverb, wet your whistle. Really get your whistle wet. Dunk your whistle in there. Everyone loves a dripping wet whistle. Hi, we're Meg Bashwiner.
And Joseph Fink.
Of Welcome to Night Vale. And on our new show, The Best Worst, we explore the golden age of television.
To do that, we're watching the IMDb viewer-rated best and worst episodes of classic TV shows.
The episode of Star Trek, where Beverly Crusher has sex with a ghost. The episode of The X-Files, where Scully gets attacked by a vicious house cat.
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