Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
Episodes
Love in War - Where Are They Now?
08 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Three years after Esther spoke with a Ukrainian couple separated by war, she calls them back to learn where they are now and whether their relationshi...
Mothering My Mother Into Mothering Me
01 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Since the age of 8, she’s been the one holding her mother together and shouldering adult responsibilities long before her time. Now, as an adult her...
You Need Help to Help Her
24 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? A husband and wife are united in their desire to help their daughter, two years after she suffered...
One Relationship. Two Truths.
17 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
She’s reeling from a relationship that brought both deep love and deep betrayal. After discovering that her boyfriend had been lying about the terms...
The One Who Stays and the One Who Goes
10 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
They met in vet school and married just as they reached graduation. But now his work takes him around the world, forcing them to live apart for months...
In Loving You, I Learned to Love Myself
03 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
She unknowingly changed the course of his life, and he's loved her ever since. It's been decades, and even though he now dates men, he wonders how to ...
I Accidentally Dated An OnlyFans Star
27 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Post-breakup rumination is a familiar spiral. We replay the signs, question our judgment, and wonder how we didn’t see it coming. This week, Esther ...
The Chronic Philanderer
20 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? He's been cheating on her for years, and she's had enough. Now she wants to know: is he in or is h...
He Doesn't Believe in Marriage, But I Can't Let Go of the Hope
13 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
When her younger sister gets engaged, a woman finds herself spiraling with unexpected grief and frustration. She’s spent years in relationships with...
Is It Our ADHD, OCD, and PTSD? Or Is It Us?
06 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A couple sits down with Esther Perel to untangle trust, control, and intimacy after becoming parents. He feels weighed down by anxiety and responsibil...
Breaking News Has Broken Us
29 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This is a classic session of How's Work? A large and scattered network of journalists meet for a virtual session with Esther. Over the past year, they...
Will This Heartbreak Ever End?
22 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Nothing changes us quite like our first love—or our first heartbreak. After falling in love for the first time in his late twenties, he now finds hi...
I’m Afraid of Losing More Than Just the Business
15 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
She’s watching the company she co-founded unravel—strained partnerships, family entanglements, and the weight of guilt, anger, and responsibility ...
A Secret I Can't Even Tell My Therapist
08 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Their marriage was turbulent and the divorce is now two years behind her—but she still can’t let him go. Torn between the part of her that knows i...
Still Single at 40
25 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this classic Esther Calling, Esther meets a man who’s never been in a relationship for more than five months. As he approaches age 40, he knows t...
Grief Begins With Love With Julia Samuel
18 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Psychotherapist and bestselling author Julia Samuel invites us into a profound exploration of the twin forces of love and loss. With warmth and wisdom...
Friendship - My Reliable Gift
11 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? In a Where Should We Begin first, Esther sits down with two friends. They’ve been close for so l...
I Fell For My Best Friend
04 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
He fell in love with his best friend. But when his best friend reconnected with an ex, it was too much to bear and he had to end the friendship. He wo...
Stuck in the Middle
28 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
He prides himself on being an empathic confidante to his friends…but is it to a fault? In this classic episode of Esther Calling, we meet a man fed ...
Two Conversations Esther Wants You To Hear From Sessions Live
21 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Esther presents two conversations you have to hear from her clinical conference, Sessions Live. Listen in as psychiatrist and narrative therapist Paul...
Can Our College Friendship Survive Adulthood?
14 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Friendship is a key thread of the social fabric. But what happens when the thread starts to fray? They met in college and have been close for a de...
What Now? with Trevor Noah - Meet Esther Perel - One of My Favorite People
07 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week on Where Should We Begin we are sharing a very special episode of What Now? with Trevor Noah. Esther joins Trevor for a heartfelt conversati...
Never Been In a Long Term Relationship, Scared I Don't Know How To Do This
30 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
He's 42 and is in his first real relationship. And he's panicking. He's afraid he doesn't know how to be in a true romantic partnership. With Esther's...
Esther says "Run!"
23 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Does loving him come with a price? After four months of dating, he’s asking her to cut ties with all of her exes. Is this a sign of love and commitm...
I Want To Fit In, But I Don't Want To Fit In
16 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
She is a single mother by choice. She lives in a very tight knit community with very traditional values. Now that her child is almost one, she's ready...
First He Loved Bombed Me And Then It Was Over
09 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
She's grappling with the aftermath of a tumultuous relationship with a narcissistic partner. First, he love bombed her and made her feel special only ...
Terms & Conditions May Apply: What We All Need to Know About Modern Dating
02 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Dating often comes with a lot of questions. Who gets to say what they want? Who gets to be chosen? Who gets to choose? Should I stay on/off the apps? ...
I Took My Boss to Therapy
19 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This is a classic session, from the second season of How's Work? From day one, they’ve described their relationship as “tumultuous," but there are...
I Waited for You to be Ready but Now I’m 40 and Childless
12 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
They were in love for 6 years and building a life together. They froze embryos and agreed on a timeline for getting pregnant. But when the time came, ...
I Leave First So You Can't Abandon Me
05 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Esther talks to a caller who often feels let down by her friends. She longs for deeper and more meaningful relationships and worries she is...
Stuck Between My Daughter and My Husband
28 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A mother comes to Esther for help dealing with the escalating conflicts between her husband and their teenage daughter. She's tired of being caught in...
I Can't Love You the Way You Want Me To
14 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Their relationship is on the edge. They're grappling with communication issues and the emotional scars from their past. And they're trapped. Trapped i...
Do You Love Me for Me or For What I Do for You?
07 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
"Am I too much?" is a consistent frame for a relationship that so many people come to Esther with. This week, a Southern preacher who has made a caree...
To Forgive My Ex-Husband I Need to Forgive Myself First
31 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Esther talks with a young divorcée about the challenges of co-parenting with her ex-husband while wrestling with feelings of anger and frustration. T...
You are Vocal on the Criticism But Silent on the Compliments
24 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
She feels abandoned by him, he feels choked by her, and their marriage is at a tipping point. They are a couple so focused on their kids that they hav...
Esther Perel Invites Us to Imagine Our Preferred Future
17 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We all know the difference between being alive and feeling alive. The state of the world has many of us struggling with threat and uncertainty, both o...
No Longer Daddy's Little Girl
03 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Esther speaks to a woman who has been estranged from her father for almost two years for reasons she can’t quite figure out. Despite multiple attemp...
I Can Break up with Him But I'm Still Stuck With Myself
24 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Esther talks with a woman who is contemplating ending her five-year long-distance relationship. She reflects on avoidant behavior, stemming from a fea...
When the Turn On Becomes a Turn Off
10 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Sexual preferences demand a lot of trust, intimacy, and vulnerability in relationships. This week, Esther talks with a couple who are refreshingly ope...
I'm Keeping the Baby...Now What?
03 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
They had a whirlwind romance, and he spun a tale of their future to come—marriage, kids, a life together. He's in his mid-forties, and she is in her...
Is This Worth a Second Chance?
27 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Should we have tried harder to make this work? What if you're the one who got away? These are the questions that keep us up at night. This week, Esthe...
Are We Just Not Sexually Compatible? Part Two
20 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
For the first time in an Esther Calling, Esther speaks to the partner of the caller from last week to hear his perspective on the story. Then, she doe...
Are We Just Not Sexually Compatible?
13 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, a caller wonders if she’s sexually compatible with her partner or if they’ve just become too adherent to their sexual patterns. Esther ...
Did I Get Ghosted or Is He Just Not That Into Me?
06 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A young woman notices a pattern in her life of frequently being ghosted. And the last time this happened, it really stung. Not only did she lose a lov...
I Don't Want to Turn Into My Mother
16 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
After becoming a mother for the first time, a young woman reflects on the complicated relationship with her own mother. Esther guides her through esta...
Grief is Like a Fingerprint
02 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This episode contains discussions of a death by suicide. Please take care listening. Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the t...
Say More - Esther Perel on Fantasy with Gillian Anderson
18 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Recently, on Where Should We Begin, we've been focusing on the things we sweep under the rug in our relationships—conversations that we have a hard ...
How Many Times Can I Forgive You?
11 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A year after explosive revelations of cheating and the existence of a 14 year old son her partner never told her about, a woman receives a call about ...
Finding Love Would Mean Letting Go of Who I Am
04 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
He's been searching for someone for so long that he questions if he's actually looking for a unicorn. He wants someone who holds the same religious va...
You Are So Not Invited to My Wedding
21 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Imagine meeting the love of your life at work. And a few months in, you want to keep the guy but ditch the job. Which is fine—until your fiancé wan...
Love the Child, Not the Father
14 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Theirs is an accelerated love story. They moved in, decided to have a baby, and are now struggling to weather the hardships of parenting together. She...
Best Friends Don't Make For the Best Bosses
07 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
They have been best friends for years. He opened a book store and she was his first employee. Things were great until they weren't. She left to preser...
Say More - Miranda July and Esther Perel on The Rebirth of Desire
23 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Esther is in a borrowed bedroom in Los Angeles, the perfect place to talk about desire and the novel on every bedside table, All Fours. The...
Why Can't I Find Someone? Is it Me?
16 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Esther speaks to a woman who feels frustrated and stuck in her dating patterns. She loves going on dates, regularly meets people out and about, and fe...
We Had Boundaries and He Crossed Them
09 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
They were in a consensual, non-monogamous relationship and happily growing their family. But he broke the first rule of their relationship, and it res...
You Keep Planning A Future Without Me
24 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
They met as community organizers in their neighborhood. She had just gotten out of a multi-year marriage to her ex-wife and began to forge new friends...
Four Affairs, Four Divorces. Why Do I Keep Doing This?
17 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Four affairs and four divorces later, she is searching for answers as to why she can’t stop leaving in such an abrupt way. Despite longing for a lif...
What If I Break Up With My Dad?
03 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Esther takes a question from a young woman struggling with her relationship with her father. A recent divorce and the slow reveal of an affair on the ...
It Feels Like My Siblings Abandoned Me
20 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
In this Esther Calling, Esther speaks to a young woman grappling with the burden of caring for her ailing parents and the feelings of resentment she f...
Does Growing Up Mean Growing Apart?
13 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
They grew up together and now run a production company. They are contending with the growing pains of transitioning from best friends to coworkers and...
My Mom Should Have Set a Different Example
06 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Esther speaks to a woman who is experiencing a kind of a double story. She resents her mother for the choices she made and the example she set, while ...
Love is a Trap
22 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
He gets to a certain point in relationships before he starts fantasizing about his ex-boyfriends or other future partners. Esther talks him through wh...
I Think I Married the Wrong Person
15 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
She gets angry when she feels devalued and put down. He intellectualizes and rationalizes instead of sympathizing. Esther helps them to see each other...
My Exes Exes Keep Ruining My Relationships
08 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A woman whose ex-boyfriend cheated on her with his ex girlfriend ends a perfectly good relationship because she can't trust how close her current part...
Esther Perel on New AI - Artificial Intimacy
01 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week we're airing a very special episode of Brené Brown's Unlocking Us where Esther and Brené discuss how we manage the paradox of exploring th...
My Husband, His Other Wife, and Me
25 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
They were aid workers who met abroad, fell in love, and came to the States to get married. After two years, her partner returned to his home country t...
Sex, Comedy and Context: A Live Conversation with Trevor Noah
19 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Not all conversations with Esther have to happen behind closed doors. Last week, Esther sat down with Trevor Noah, live from the Vox Media Podcast Sta...
If He's A "High Value Man", What Am I?
11 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Esther talks to a woman who, despite her best efforts, finds herself implicated in the same toxic cycle of abuse from her partner that she grew up wat...
I Love You One Day, I Hate You The Next
04 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
They are a young couple with a small child and they fight non-stop. And while they each have good intentions, they struggle to hear or see each other....
Say More - Ira Glass on Is This It?
26 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Ira Glass has created over 800 episodes of the genre-defining radio show and podcast This American Life. Each week on the show he weaves together stor...
I Trust You to Always Tell Me When I'm Wrong
19 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Too often we can focus on troubles in our relationships and not what happens when the relationship goes right. This week, Esther explores the inner wo...
I Lost Him, But I Lost Myself Too
12 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
She lost her husband five years ago. Now, she's finally ready to start picking up the pieces of her life to begin dating. Esther talks her through wha...
He Wants it Everyday, She Wants it Never
05 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
They find themselves at an erotic stalemate. Married for 20 years with four children, they have lost their way with each other. He wants it all the ti...
As They Like Me More, I Like Myself Less
29 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
They are new mothers after a long wait and they are both struggling in their roles at the same international organization. One can't seem to get out f...
Part of Me Wants to Cheat Part Two
25 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This episode contains discussions of a sexual trauma. Please take care listening. This is the second part of a special two part conversation. Certain ...
Part of Me Wants to Cheat Part One
22 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This episode contains discussions of a sexual trauma. Please take care listening. A woman in a healthy and loving relationship talks to Esther about t...
Now That I Have A Girlfriend, I Never Want To Leave My Wife
15 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
For years she has been the breadwinner while he has felt like a failure at home raising their daughter. After he found a new career and subsequently, ...
Am I Just Your Placeholder?
08 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Esther speaks to a woman who seems to get to a certain place within a relationship and then they end it. In her words, she seems to keep finding herse...
Non-Negotiables in the New Year | From Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris
03 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Our friend Dan Harris hosts the Ten Percent Happier podcast. A skeptical journalist, Dan had a panic attack on live TV that sent him on a journey that...
Say More - Neil Patrick Harris on Friendship
18 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Friendships are their own love stories. Our friends provide continuity in an ever-changing world. They accompany us through the trials and tribulation...
My Emotional Inheritance
04 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A woman comes to Esther with a question about how to move on from the pain that her parents have caused her. They’ve begun family therapy but she wo...
Is This Survivor's Guilt?
27 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Esther speaks to a man struggling to live a life he can enjoy. He feels wracked with guilt over a troubled history with his birth mother and her life ...
She's Out, He's Still In.
13 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
After 20 years together, they wonder if their marriage has run its course? She is too unhappy to stay together and doubts if she ever felt true passio...
Depleted Mothers Club
06 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
How do you begin to define a new identity for yourself when you've left the comforts of the world you've known in search of a bigger life? This is wha...
A Marriage Organized Around Trauma
30 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
He was deployed to Fallujah, Iraq in 2004. In the 20 years since, he has struggled with PTSD and addiction. She has long taken on the role of his care...
A Hospital Divided
16 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
They're best friends and ER doctors at a small hospital. During the pandemic, they experienced a fracturing among their coworkers, who they once thoug...
I Left. Now I Want My Wife Back.
09 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
He fell in love with someone at work and left his wife. Fast forward a year, he's engaged and realizes he's made a mistake. Now he wants his wife and ...
Self Love Isn't Something I Grew Up With
25 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Esther talks to a woman who was passed over for a promotion, again. She straddles two cultures and finds that it is impacting her work and her persona...
How's Work? - The Preacher's Wife Part Two
18 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
When a tragedy shakes their church and their community, both the preacher and his wife try to put the pieces back together for themselves and his cong...
How's Work? - The Preacher's Wife
11 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
She has never quite fit into the mold of the preacher's wife in their small town. He has put his self-worth solely into his career, as a bandaid over ...
My Brother's Wife Ruined Our Relationship
28 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this Esther Calling, we meet a woman who feels that her brother's wife is standing in the way of her relationship with her brother. For years, she ...
I Want Her to Like Me Less
14 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A woman in her 40s talks to Esther about a crossroads in her life. She has begun a relationship with a supportive and loving partner, but without the ...
I Crossed a Line I Never Thought I Would Cross
07 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What happens when you transgress the one boundary you never thought you would? In this week's Esther Calling, Esther talks to a woman who began an emo...
Long Distance and Lost
24 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
They knew each other as kids. He grew up in a house where love was never a guarantee. She had the seemingly perfect family and all the love in the wor...
Am I Being Gaslit?
17 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this Esther Calling, Esther talks to a woman looking for clarity on whether she's being overly sensitive to her partner's critiques or if he is, in...
Donor Daddy
10 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
He donated sperm to help a friend start her family. A decade later that gift shattered his own. Esther talks through the consequences of a secret. Lea...
Where Should We Begin? is coming back… weekly
27 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Every Monday morning step into the office of psychotherapist Esther Perel. Each week on Where Should We Begin?, hear real couples in search of insight...
Love In War with Esther Perel: Ukraine
11 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In this session Esther counsels a couple torn apart by the war in Ukraine. Young sons divided between a mother who leaves for the sake of her younges...
I Need Her to See Me
23 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In this latest episode of Esther Calling, we meet a young woman looking for advice on how to stand up for herself in a fraught and traumatic relations...
We Started As An Affair
09 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
Esther says in this session, “a love story is between two people, a marriage engages an entire community of people.“ Here we see how that plays ou...