Chapter 1: What funny experiences do the hosts share about prank calling?
the last time i try and postmates a golf glove the guy is having a tough the office tough tough well i'm playing golf right after my golf glove is shot golf glove yeah you that's a crazy move i don't have time to go just buy one at the pro shop there isn't there isn't a pro shop i'm going to the sim sim place You don't need a glove? You'd be like, we're playing basketball outside today.
You don't need shoes. I didn't use a glove for any of the videos we filmed. So maybe I'm a bad... You know what? I do not take golf seriously at all, so I should not be wearing it. There are guys that have played without gloves before, and it's not a thing. But here's the issue. I would totally not care, but the one I'm currently using is shot and also too big.
got it it can be shot and and and the right size or too big and perfect but it can't who's that remind you too big and perfect oh man obviously i'm a ding dong talking about your ding dong my charlie brown's what it yeah what is that for you you know what's so funny that that came up and now you asked me about my charlie brown's that's from arrested development Huh, why? I don't know.
Because they're like skin colored and there's a little bit of hair on them. I think it's like George Michaels. Look up just Charlie Brown. I was trying to figure it out. No. Wait, who does he say my Charlie Browns? Yeah, no, I think it's Buster. Buster says it, yeah. Buster, my Charlie Browns. Because they also have another Charlie Brown reference, which is the sad walk they did. Yeah, yeah.
It refers to his... Look at that. We're getting pirated. Bro opened, like, LimeWire. He's torrenting this, or whatever that... Is that a word? Yeah, isn't torrent... I don't know. Were you a LimeWire guy? No. What was the blue one? We would never have had to do that. Rhapsody? Is that the one? What do you mean we would never have had to do that? Oh, because your family was always rich.
You never had to pirate music. Oh, sorry. Sorry, Will. Sorry my parents could barely put music on my iPod.
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Chapter 2: What insights do the hosts provide about marathon training?
That was a good thing my older siblings had to do. Or did. You just weren't... you were late to the pirate game. I was like, I was pirating music early. Here's a pirating thing. I tried to, I, I, so I'm struggling with a little bit of my golf swing is kind of off these last couple of days. And I called my dad and I was just like bitching to him about it. Like hoping he would like have something.
And he was like, you know, I've been reading this Jack Nicklaus book and um i'll send it to you and i just didn't have time to i can't wait that long yeah and so i looked up like jack nicholas book pdf and there was a reddit thread that was like does anyone have a pdf of jack nicholas's book kind of a normal question all the comments Go fuck yourself, buy the book. Fuck you, you fucking thief.
Needing something and getting it for free just because you need it is still theft.
Chapter 3: How do the hosts discuss the impact of leaked phone numbers?
Like, you fucking broke college. They were like, just because you're, if you're broke in college, you should be working. You shouldn't be golfing. And he was like, all right, man, I didn't come here to get read the fucking riot act. I was just like hoping maybe one of you guys had it downloaded. So what'd you do? So my dad. Did you reflect? My dad is sending it to me. It's a full send.
Chapter 4: How do the hosts feel about reality shows that don't exist?
He's fully, he's full sending it to me. I love nelking. Dude, I haven't nelked in, when was the last time you nelked? I jelked. Have you actually?
Chapter 5: What are the funniest responses to prank calls shared by the hosts?
No, I haven't jelked. Wait, what is that again? Jelking is the process of squeezing your penis really hard and hoping it gets bigger. Or not hoping, scientifically. Scientifically enlarging it through a jelking. Like a tube? No, no, no. You can do it, I think, just by yourself. Can you Google jelking? It's with a Q, I believe. That sounds made up, but I'm not kidding. I think you're right.
No, no. Jelking is a manual... He did quelking. Jelking is a manual exercise involving repetitive, firm, milking-like strokes on a semi-erect penis. If milking your semi-erect penis is jelking, then yeah, I guess I jelk every day before work. Lock me up and throw away the key. You know what I heard about... Speaking of penis enlargement, a lot of elderly guys...
This coroner was talking about how a lot of elderly guys die full boner because they had one of those procedures where they put a balloon in your penis and it's just permanently like you can get it huge and hard. Sorry, yeah. I explained that like I was a dick. Wait. A lot of old guys get it. They die with a boner because they didn't deflate their penis before they die.
They leave it perpetually hard? No, I think there might be like kind of, you know, like the rubber thing that's on like footballs and basketballs where you can like pump it up. I think they like have one. I'm picturing like the thing that they, when they put the thing on your arm and then they squeeze that little ball and it's like... Yeah. Yeah.
So inflatable penis prosthesis surgery involves implanting two or a two or three. There's a two or three piece device. I need if I'm getting a penis penile prosthesis, I need it to be one piece. We put a man on the moon in 1969. Okay, and you're telling me it's 2025? I think that date's wrong, but you're telling me that we haven't figured out the one-piece penis prosthesis yet?
That could be where we make our money. Try saying that with a penis in your mouth.
wait okay here's my question right why that doesn't seem to have any difference about like that doesn't seem to change whether they would be hard when they why are they hard when they die because i think that they aren't thinking i'm gonna die right now so they don't think too they're not thinking about the corner no one ever thinks about the corner the the low Holy coroner.
No one thinks about me. Everyone just keeps their cocks hard. No one's thinking about the coroner. Obviously, they don't think about the coroner, but why are they dying hard? Are they getting boned to death? Here's the thing, Willie. If you drop dead hard, your penis is going to naturally – whatever. But these guys, if they die – I understand that part.
I'm saying how are that many people hard when they die? That's a good question. That's a good question. I get that it doesn't get soft once they're dead, but I don't understand. I think a lot of people with hard conditions probably – Hard conditions? I have a hard condition. You're fucking – Your friend's grandpa who won't deflate his penis. Calling erectile dysfunction a hard condition.
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Chapter 6: What are the hosts' opinions on popular drinks and brands?
Busted. Never think that. He did bust. Busted. He did bust. Here, I got a question for you guys. Yeah. Is there, what did I write? I wrote it in my notes app. What if the only reason Rosa Parks didn't get up is that she had a boner? Sorry, I'm just doing my taxes. All right. Well, Rusty, it's been really good doing the pod. I can't. I'm sorry.
You should have seen the message I got from the Postmates driver. I told him to just refund everything. It sounds like I'm getting a golf glove I don't want. It sounds like I'm getting a golf glove from a brand I don't play. You think that'll really hurt you do you think maybe it could be like a secret?
Like a secret unlocking your secret like you could unlock your secret give it one of those diaries with a lock on it I bet you I bet your candy ass did I bet you had one day? No, my 30s didn't have like a voice password Have you seen those like the plastic one?
no it was like a it was like diary the joke was it was kind of there was this brand of diary for girls that uh you had to say a secret password into it was probably like also oh yeah yeah yeah how did they have access to to voice recognition for like the price point of it wasn't voice recognition it was like the word you said well that sounds like voice recognition pumpernickel craindlint
No one will ever guess it. Someone stole your diary and you're being oddly cool about it. You're like, nope, my secrets are safe. They will never guess Crandlin. Here's a question. Do you think when Greg Hefley got his publishing deal, do you think once it got published, he was like, that's the title they went with? Yeah. He thought he was going to be like the next Anne Frank.
Diary of a wimpy kid. Diary. Yeah. Oh, my God. Thank God the people who got a hold of Anne Frank's diary did not name it that. They had some like... Yeah, they just kept it simple. What a wimp. You know what I was? I was at the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam. It was really cool. But one thing that was cool was, like, her dad had held on.
Like, apparently, like, he kept the diary, like, by him every night or something. And she'd, like, never open it. And, like, he had never opened it until after. Like, he had honored her wish of, like, never reading what she had written in it. I mean, which I think is, like, obviously you're not going to, like, go through someone's diary. Yeah.
i don't know i think if my daughter feel like i'd be like no no after he did after she died then he opened it up when he got because he was he'd get away he was in a concentration camp he just survived and he and got liberated how did he keep the diary they had been left at the with the people that had taken them or something i believe and so when he got back and went back to amsterdam then he found the diary and this time was like i'm gonna open it
And he said when he read it, he was like couldn't believe it. He was like her perception of how he thought she felt when they were living there was so different than what he read that he said his biggest takeaway. I've never read it. I haven't really read it at all either, but I think I'm not really sure exactly what he was referring to.
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Chapter 7: How do the hosts react to unexpected situations during recording?
What was the word on the street about Andrew Nelson back in the day? Do not get in the hot tub with him. Fun for a fling, not worth a long term. Unbelievable sex, but just a brutal hang. Absolutely voracious. His ass stinks. Everything's great, but his ass reeks. Do not go down on his ass. Brutal hang slash brutally hung. Brutally hung. He's brutally... Sorry, what were you going to say?
Have you guys watched Adolescence? No. That's what that show is about. It's like this 13-year-old incel that ends up murdering this girl. Yes. And it was like really uncomfortable for me to watch because I didn't want to hear about like a 13-year-old like...
urges and stuff it's not a true story it's a it's they have like the one it's a one shot like an episode will be 30 minutes and it's all shot in one shot which is insane but at the same time do they use like like camera tricks or it's literally one it's literally one shot but it's like if you look at the behind the scenes it's like there's one scene where it goes through the window you know the scene I'm talking about and actually like the behind the scenes or the guy grabs it on the other side have you seen that
I've seen a shot. It's probably that. That was like a famous. They go through the classroom and then it goes straight out the window and a guy has to grab it. I think maybe they use a few little tricks, but like, yeah, I think it's mostly. I thought it was a whodunit, but turns out it's not. I kind of did too. Yes, but it's just like the kid that you always thought it was. Yeah, I like that.
I like that. Because I don't like the show where, or I guess you don't know that, but sometimes when you're watching a show, I'm spending more time theorizing than enjoying. Well, that's what's interesting. I'm watching Twin Peaks right now. Have you guys seen it? I haven't, but I know about it, yeah. I've been. It's like the Scottish Hooters. Hoot honkers. Talking toots.
But I can't really tell if it's a Hoot Donator. I mean, it is by definition. Is that the one with Cole Sprouse? No, we went through this. I think he might have been in the reboot or something. Got it. Got it. But I don't know if it's a whodunit or if it's just going to be the person I think it is. I can't really. I think it's a whodunit. I want a show that's a who don't it. Who don't it.
Everyone killed someone except one person is safe.
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Chapter 8: What humorous anecdotes do the hosts share about their past experiences?
Oh, my God. I forgot to bring this up. This just happened today. Or the guy just got caught today. The ski mountain that I grew up skiing at. Sugarbush. Sugarbush. Sugarlove. Sugarlove. Sugarbush. Sugarbush is one in New Hampshire.
yeah vermont sorry sugarbush is flan's nickname from pet name for me sugarbush um wait what were we someone at sugarloaf oh my god an employee at sugarloaf murdered another employee at sugarloaf or should not have done that can you pull this up sugarloaf main murderer i don't know my dad sent it to me like right before i got in here so i didn't get to google it murder
Yeah, this guy accused of shooting slash killing co-worker at Carabasset Valley Condo. I wonder what happened. Longtime boyfriend. Okay, I know what happened. I know what happened. That is just terrible. So, are there any details? Damn, they were our age. That's fucked. Not that it's, like, less fucked if they were old. I would never kill a man.
I don't think I'd kill him either, but did you just hear what Iran said? Or what the FBI is saying Iran said? What? They're targeting L.A. for ship-launched drone attacks. The FBI has found out. My dad said he thinks Trump's trying to distract us because they're bombing schools. Hmm. So I don't know who to believe. Well, I'm not going to go to school out of safety. They're bombing our schools.
They're bombing art schools. That actually would be a headline. I don't want to get bombed. Here's my ears of the thing that I'm choosing to believe. I find it hard to believe that a ship could get close enough to L.A. without us. Is that a real thing? Can you Google Iran, L.A.? ABC News said it. I'm not, like, doubting. I'm just, like, FBI warns Iran aspired to attack California with drones.
And ABC's saying it happened. NBC's saying it's not credible. I don't know who to believe. We need CBS. CBS, please save me. CBS, if you're listening, please save us. President Trump. That's why I have my new news app that tells me who's reporting on it so I can see where the bias lies. New app just dropped? I didn't tell you about this? No. Ground News.
uh i got three moles have ground news grass grass is up six centimeters slugs have been making a lot of ground in brentwood this year or something um i got influence it was the first like ad i've ever uh listened to on like when i was watching you know that horses youtube channel i like
like history things yeah yeah or like yeah like odd history yeah he was taught he said it's his only sponsor because he he likes him so much and i bought it hook line and sinker wow yeah but i mean i don't think surely nothing can go wrong by only getting my news from one source right correct i think that's what they say they say pick pick one and stick to it pick one and stick to it don't listen to anyone and tell it and tell everyone else that if they don't agree with you they should kill themselves
The good news is it's like all links to other... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like an amalgamation of... Amalgamation, yes. Amalgamation. Where my amalg... Like, amalgamation, stand up. Stand up. And it's just like a ton of random stuff. Amalgamation. Make yourself heard. Dude, I think... Gru is going to be like a fad. You think he's done? I think he's done. I think his run is over.
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