
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Dumbest Shark Tank Pitches w/ Mark Cuban | Your Mom's House Ep. 802
19 Mar 2025
Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour Interested in learning more about Mark Cuban's company? Visit http://CostPlusDrugs.com to find out more! SPONSORS: Check out the full lineup and get 15 percent off your first order at https://TRUEWERK.com/ymh. Go to https://shopify.com/momshouse to upgrade your selling today. Secure your online data TODAY by visiting https://ExpressVPN.com/ymh Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. This week on Your Mom’s House, Robert Smith and Christina P are joined by billionaire entrepreneur and Shark Tank legend Mark Cuban. Tom and Christina are STILL hyped after YMH Live X and recap more of the insanity from that legendary night. Tom next opens the show with an unhinged clip of an old man who hasn't been laid in 30 years, before he brings up his tradition of texting Joe Rogan horrifying death videos. Other highlights include a Hulk Hogan steamer situation, a bizarre Kanye tattoo on an Asian guy, and a deep dive into Charles Manson documentaries. The one and only Mark Cuban joins the pod, and things get real. Mark opens up about selling the Mavericks, what it’s like to trade a generational talent like Luka Dončić, and why checking his bank account makes everything better. He spills secret rich guy knowledge (like how money makes ugly people attractive), explains why he’s not a yacht guy, and hilariously pitches Tom on buying a private jet. Mark also talks about being a public dad, his love for working, and why he’s obsessed with the future. He breaks down Shark Tank—from the dumbest pitches ever to surprising success stories like Dude Wipes—and how he’s wrong half the time when investing. The conversation gets even wilder as Mark shares thoughts on hunting Somali pirates, his late-night Twitter beefs, AI, NBA rule changes, and why he’s all-in on healthcare reform with http://CostPlusDrugs.com. Don’t miss it, Jeans! Your Mom’s House Ep. 802 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT) or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 3/30/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Pick6 not available everywhere, including, but not limited to NY and CA-ONT (for up-to-date list of jurisdictions please visit pick6.draftkings.com/where-is-pick6-available). Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:29 - YMH Live X Still Got Us Hyped 00:10:19 - Opening Clip: Hard Time Getting Hard 00:17:15 - Heavy Reactions 00:21:07 - Deep Diving The Opening Clip 00:24:52 - Clip: A Hulk Hogan Steamer 00:28:33 - Christina P Trashes Meghan M 00:42:48 - Clip: Decent Footjob Review 00:44:49 - Clip: Cool Kanye Tattoo 00:45:39 - Charles Manson 00:53:56 - Mark Cuban Talks Mavs & Luka Doncic 01:00:42 - Secret Rich Guy Stuff 01:08:31 - How To Win At The Sport Of Business 01:14:51 - Dumb Shark Tank Pitches 01:22:33 - Putting Your Kids On The Right Path 01:28:22 - Personal Stuff & Somali Pirates 01:34:31 - AI & The Future Of Podcasts 01:43:01 - Changing The Game 01:47:45 - Mark Cuban's Favorite Things 01:55:47 - Closing Song - "Pussy Glassin" by Lady Money Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Full Episode
Welcome, welcome to your mom.
I mean, I really did first see you sitting at the Stupa outside the Cat Club. That is the first time I saw you. You remember. You do remember that story.
Oh, yeah. Of course I remember that. Yeah. You always say I look like a hooker, but I didn't really look like a hooker. It's not that you look like one. It's that I thought you were one. Yeah. You had on fishnets, knee-high boots, you were smoking a cigarette, you were kind of like, I've been out here, I've been working, what's going on? Did not say that. Yeah.
Okay, so then you go, but you knew that I was dating a guy. No, I didn't know right away, obviously. You know, I was trying to like, I was like, she's cute, playing it cool. Yeah. Right? And then... Can I talk to you for a second?
I was like, let me holler at you for a second. And then... Yeah, I just remember – I probably didn't figure – I mean, I can't remember exactly. I didn't find out that night. But it's one of those things where, you know, after we met – Through the grapevine. You kind of either heard it through the grapevine or you go to – I don't know, do spots and you're like, oh, what's going on with her?
And then somebody mentioned. And I always had that thing, too, where it's like somebody seeing someone, you're just like, OK, like, you know. You're done. Yeah, you just accept. So it actually probably made us... more like just coworkers, right? Like, yes. Yeah. It forced you to get to see me as a person, not just blonde hair and tits a little bit.
Right. And I, I always feel like that's so like, I hate honestly seeing women as people because I've never really thought of them that way. Well, they're kind of stupid, right? Yeah. And also it's like, you know, you guys were kind of made for one thing and one thing only. I feel like that, I think it's pretty obvious. Three, three cooking, cleaning, uh,
Those are – I'm not really one of those guys that's like you got to clean for – I don't – I know that. It's nice that you do, but like it's really just be a jizz receptacle. That's your number one priority. I do know this about you. Yeah. Coming and eating are your priorities.
Yeah. And I'll figure out the eating on my own. So the main thing is, you know, what's that tit stitch like and what that mouth do. Right. So – Well, when I met you, I had the best pair of tits. I had such good tits because I wasn't fat. I didn't have kids. They were so good when we met. You got my tits at prime titty time. It's prime time tits for sure.
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