Christina Pazsitzky
Appearances
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Because I hang out with alphas. I would say you and Joe and not Bert, but other men that are very... Strong men.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
The guys that you think are like this in private are not like this at all. They're very tempered. They're very smart.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Fuck that guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's very Gordon Gekko. Is that his name?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, it's very Wolf of Wall Street, like douchebag 80s.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Especially if you've got time to have this much of an entourage and like a school of dudes with you. Like, what are you doing? You don't need 10 guys in your plane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Fucking idiot. Yeah, prove it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
To get a deal done.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's right, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, stupid. And why come when I go to the beaches and you look out there, water's fucking flat, bro.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I would love to do that. There's power lesbians that run tons of cool stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That'd be so rad. Dude, I would go to a power lesby seminar. Those bitches know what's up. They're not constrained, confined by the patriarchy standards of beauty or behavior, anything.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It ain't curved, right, dummy?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I love that stuff. God, I wish I were a lesbian.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Research. You're doing it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I so wanted to send you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Can I just praise you for a moment, by the way? Speaking of positive male energy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yes. Okay. A while ago, I was at my hardcore weightlifting gym, my masculine energy gym.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Do your research. Do your own research.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Where actual real dudes lift.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
And I finally got to meet face-to-face Brigham Bueller.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yes. He's been on Joe's show. You guys, everybody knows him in Texas.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He's amazing. He's such a great, you know, entrepreneur. Yeah. And he's also very fit too. So anyway, we ran into each other at the gym and I just wanted to pass along a really nice compliment he gave you. He goes, you know, Tom has gotten into such amazing shape and the fact that he does it on the road is, is incredible. How is he even doing that? And I was like, well, he's very dedicated.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
When he lands in a city, he goes to work out. You're on a very strict thing. And he was very complimentary of you and your dedication to Sparkle Motion.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
And then is he like, are you fucking lifting, bro?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I'm not fucking working out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
They're good people. But, I mean, also, it's kind of an appropriate discussion for our guest that's going to be coming in today, fitness and stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I really would. I really would. Dude, your beard is growing back at such a rapid pace. It's kind of freakish. You're like a werewolf.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I've been holding onto that topic for so long. Before our guest shows up, can you please show the Ilaria Baldwin clip that I sent in this morning? I'm dying to get into this. So as you guys know, she's got a TLC show with her husband and her 10 million children.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
She's transracial, and it's cool that we live in a time where you can just pick whatever you want to be. I think she really likes being Latin. She just likes it. She likes it. It's fine. So anyway, there's this clip I got sent today of her and Alec in a fight. And apparently when Ilaria, Hillary, gets fired up, she tends to pick up her Spanish cadence.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But that's what she does. She forgets her native language a lot.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But Tom, is it possible her soul is Latin?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Hispanic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Sorry. I always goof that up with you people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Your touch, you're fingering my lipsticks. Is that because you miss wearing... They don't want to hear that. Nobody wants to hear your beard flakes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's probably the greatest line. Slow down a kiss.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Guys, buy my Perfect Red. Buy my Berlin, my Madison, my Atomic Red at ChristinaP.com. Tom wore my lipstick.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But you can see her turn.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
What a great voice that Alec Baldwin has.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He needs to do every voiceover on everything ever. I just love him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I would love to hear his voice, like in the subway or his voice in the airport.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
God, I would love that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Make a right here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's got to be, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I know. Let him be my Siri voice.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I want to do that and I want to do that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Rafael.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah. So you're a Spanish speaker. Her Spanish, like you always tell me if they speak it well or not. Does she have a great Spanish accent or just like an okay one?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
She really is. So she's meant to be Hispanic, as you say.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Is she Catalan? What is she doing?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's impressive. So maybe that's her thing, you know? She's like, look.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
How'd it feel? I'm being serious. It's a very luxurious product, you know?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, I think her parents moved there at retirement is what it was.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
She liked it. She liked it. But I think the problem was when she started out claiming to be Spanish, when she started dating Alec.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I know. And she didn't think that people could, like, check her work. Like, journalists are going to check and see, oh, are you really Spanish?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, she could just move to like a small town and just be Ellaria as much as she wanted. If she moved to like Iowa, then she'd be like the belle of the ball, you know? No, not in two dark titties.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's true. You know why? A lot of red lipsticks or highly pigmented lipsticks take the moisture out of your lip, and then the next day you're just like, ugh, dry. Were your lips dry the next day?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Slovak.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's not true.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I've never known somebody that really wanted to be Spanish.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's so true because growing up, I was so embarrassed to be Hungarian because it's not a cool European. So I used to wish I were English or anything French, German.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's not one of the sexy ones. No. What Latin did you want to be?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's cool. Yeah, Colombian's kind of hard.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, they're like the white Latins.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It is. Yeah. That's too far out there. Yeah. You're not a part of that. I used to want to be German cause my grandmother was born there. Right. Like I have German roots and that language is a little more common.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's so hard to, nobody speaks Hungarian. This is terrible. The German, gosh, that would have been.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I know, it sucked. And then, you know, in the 80s, we were at war with Russia, so everyone thought we were Russians. I'm like, I'm not a fucking dirty Russian, okay?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Get that shit out of your mouth.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Don't talk to me. The dog is being good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, let's go.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Better known as fucking Brian. Fucking Brian.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Fucking Brian.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Oh, the Gothic Illuminati?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's satanic. Well, Obama with his flag and the three stripes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Hilarious. Comedians, just by the way, just so you guys know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
stand-up comics particularly we have we're nowhere near illuminati okay that's not us we're the lowest on the show business total no nobody talks to us nobody cares do anything yeah that's not us that's the music business guys actors do crazy stuff yeah we don't do we're on the other end we get the demons out okay so we don't need to do crazy stuff like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
So am I. I'm feeling healthier. I'm feeling alive and alert. How about you?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
My stepsister, she texted and she was like, oh my God, you finally met Robert Smith?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Because she saw it on Instagram. I'm like, dipshit. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
She's not, this is my youngest one. She's not very bright.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
, , , , , , the P P P P P P P P men實 , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , a P P P P P P P P P P P P P
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Whatever. She's sweet though.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I was like, hey dummy, that's my, that's my husband. That's Tom. She's like, oh my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Alfalfa.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Are we there?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Aren't you afraid, are you afraid you might inadvertently hurt yourself trying these things out?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You can go on a retreat that he gives.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He's in Canada. I swear to God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Get that timer. Well, Josh Solo isn't here today.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
However, look at his skin, glowing. I mean, he's in great health.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Have you tried?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Mousers.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You guys are two peas in a pod.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Even your physicality, watching the two of you have chats and you're both working out and it's like, it's really nice actually. You don't see that very often. Now, you guys only took each other's plasma once.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Mousers. Meow, meow, meow, meow. That was cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Hold on, though. Can you break up the calcifications? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, maybe. It sounds logical.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, we saw you drinking that one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Well, I put it on all my food.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
The drinking of it. It was hard to watch.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
We love olive oil. That's how we cook. We don't cook with anything.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Okay, I'll try it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
So he's legumes, he's veggies, he's olive oil.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Your browns must be incredible.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
How many times a day are we going? Just in the morning?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's a nice bit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Hold on. Speaking of alcohol, it's on the carcinogen list.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yes. I just had a bout of breast cancer and my oncologist says that it's on the list.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I'm fine.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Cancer-free. I'm just going to have my breast reconstructed in August. And I was curious about how did this happen to me?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Okay. It was hormonal-based. It was a very rare form of cancer. But my oncologist told me that one in six women will have breast cancer. One in six. And I said, why? The environment, plastics and everything. Yeah. And so, you know what I started doing, like a real wacko? Hydroponic gardening. I'm growing my own vegetables. And everyone thinks I'm nuts, too. But it tastes incredible.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You take a piece of lettuce off your own hydroponic garden with seeds that are non-GMO. It tastes unreal. It's not like the crap. Now, are you growing your own veg? Because, you know, to get those nutrients... You're not going to like HEB or whatever and buying vegetables.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You should.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
with non-GMO seeds.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
There's different sizes. No matter what space you have, you can do it. There's one that just grows lettuce that you can have in your home.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But you're spending that much on organic produce.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
So then what the fuck are you eating, Brian?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, are you going to really put it in my coffee? Is that going to taste good?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Are you sure?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I'm afraid. Oh, God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Is it unhealthy to drink coffee?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It does. Yeah, that's normal.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Oh, it is good. That's pleasant.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's just, it's pleasant. It's not, oh wow, try it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Juiced up. Is today a Jewish holiday?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Do you drink alcohol? I know. Okay. So that's why that's a huge thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Try this. It's actually really good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Okay, have Brian put it in because he has the right amount. He knows how much to put in. It's actually good. I'm embarrassed to say. I didn't want to like it. I didn't want to like you. I watched your documentary. I liked you. Because I just saw you on TikTok, Brian. And I was like, this guy's out of his mind. It's like everybody is. And then you're like, oh, it's not. And look, what's the harm?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Obviously, you're doing this to yourself. You're a grown up. This is your choice. You can do whatever the heck you want to your body. You want to staple your, your nuts to your leg. You can do that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I think the shot, how is it? Hold on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's actually really good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Well, I read that it has antioxidant properties after I got diagnosed with cancer. I was reading about cancer diets.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
What?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's a long fast.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I don't know. 5,000 milligrams?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
How long have you been on it? I don't know. Honestly, I think I do one. A couple months now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I like it. Like what you're saying, I eat a very light dinner and then I fast until lunchtime the next day and I have a decent healthy lunch, a lot of veg, lean protein, and then I have a light dinner and then I'm back. I don't do alcohol anymore because of the cancer stuff. Not too much dairy. I try not to consume dairy. I like it. I feel lighter. I like to feel, and here's the truth of it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I like to feel skinny. I like to have my clothes fitting me loose and you, you know, you can move better. It's good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
How much are you doing it? Let's talk about that machine.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Did we sanction this?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
And for your organs, for the oxygenation of all your organs. That's why you people do that nutty stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Hyperbaric chamber chat is a little funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Oh, Patrick Bateman, totally. You're a vampire Patrick Bateman.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I'm like, who... That's so precise. It's just the way your mind works. We're sloppy comedians. We don't think that way. You know?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Very rigorous.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's what I was going to ask you. What does Brian Johnson do for fun?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Did you do drugs? Did you do LSD? Did you mushroom? Did you do shrooms?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Did you flog yourself after?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
What temperature are you sleeping?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Well, he travels a lot for work, so we don't sleep in the same bed often.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
We have separate comforters.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But that circadian, that rhythm you're talking about, like when I got diagnosed with breast cancer, I was like, what? And I thought back to the last 15 years of being on the road like that. I was working like that too. And now you're not sleeping properly. You're not eating properly. And since I've been home and off the road, I feel so much better.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
yeah well there's some people that sleep is the thing it is especially for women our rhythms are different than men our hormones are regulated through sleep you got us i sleep more than him yeah you know and it's harder for women as as women age to get sleep so women have to work harder for high quality sleep than men do as you age even though it's no stuff like menopause you mean like waking up and yeah yeah it's terrible yeah do you do coffee on a month
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
No, she needs to be on a vegan plant-based diet.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, I'm not afraid to say that. What's with the haircut? That's an interesting haircut. He's got a part.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You got to get into this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You're not even drinking your urine.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
And you're not giving yourself coffee enemas.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
What's the... Sharpen your sword.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Okay. No, I don't read that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He wants to be that guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He's hoping people see him that way. But I think he looks sweet with his little beard.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, and his little glasses and his sweet little Hitler haircut. Look at that. He's got a side part like Hitler. And then it's this long.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Thank you. Thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Thank you. Thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
No, and he had tits. He had really nice jigglers. I'm jealous.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
His tits are nicer than mine right now. You know, I'm thinking Andrew Tate is the OG, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
100% kosher.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But he's legit that guy, right? You know what I mean? Andrew was a fighter. He's an entrepreneur. He's fit. He wears the suits. These guys are like, oh, I want to be that guy maybe.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
They're fantastic. Hold on. Hold on. How old is your jet?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
No, will you be getting another jet?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You're aging every time you get on one of those. Yeah, the rays, the UV rays.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I kind of feel that way too, babe. But in truth, because you do travel constantly, it's built into your business. It's a necessity.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
What about a backup plane? Mark Cuban has a backup plane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Now what happened to your nail polish? You're not doing your nails blue.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah, and he drank the whole thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You know, you said that you're socially awkward in the documentary. I don't think you are. I think you're fine.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
We're all comedians, entrepreneurs. We're all you. Yeah, but you're not. But you're not. You're just precise. You're one of those guys.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Okay. I'm writing it down.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
All right. I believe I'm on the premise.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Clear conscience, babe.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You know, stupid.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Now, what happens if those people listening are drinking a few beers, having the pizza and then going to bed?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Well, it's also you're making that guy rich because, like, give me $3,000 and I'll make you a guy. You don't have any money?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
So when you're saying to trash collectors so people understand, it's like cellular repair. They're picking up toxins. Is that what you mean by that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
So this is why you take all these supplements and you do this stuff so that everything is at optimal performance. So your body is not in like a deficit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
So now you're optimal and then your body can just clean the organs.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Clean everything every night.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
These are alphas.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
What about your fitness, man? What are you doing? What's the fitness routine?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Well, I'll tell you, this traveling commercial, you'll get colds and stuff. Do you work out when you're sick?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Does that wear down your organs?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yeah. Why, the carbon footprint thing?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
And also, I will say, the one thing I really, Tom and I both agreed with you so much, in the beginning of the documentary, you talk about how the mind can tell you what to do. The mind tells you what to eat. And I think... The average bear watching you goes, well, where's the joy? You're not eating this. You're not enjoying your Coca-Cola, your pizza, your hot dog.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
It's like, yeah, but once you realize those things aren't actually bringing you joy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
This is the lie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
But how would the average person kick this notion that, well, without wine, without pizza, without these junky things in my life, how will I be happy? How do you kick it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He's great. You guys would definitely bro down.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
He's great. Go do his show.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
And you two, with your personalities, I think, right? Can't you see the two of them? Yes. Yeah. You'd like him very much.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Come back when you're 120.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Fucking Brian. Yeah, it's fucking guys out of his goddamn mind. Okay. All right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
The banking industry.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's how showbiz runs. Are you a good person?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
They control it all.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Hell yeah, dude. I just wish they'd take their dicks out and start jacking each other right there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Everybody's dick is so hard right there, huh?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Of course Jews control the weather and the aliens.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I know. Is this the Edith Bojitski school? This is how my mother talks.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Oh, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You didn't know that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
That's right, and now we use it for YMH Studios.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Well, the problem is they're not doing their own research.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
You got to get online and do your own research, dummy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
testosterone this guy is that what makes their faces red yeah the teeth so flush yeah yeah it's so high level in him you're like this is not a natural skin his whole thing is like be fucking jacked if you want to work for me you gotta be jacked oh yeah i've seen those videos that's if you work here we played those guys i love it i love it but i have to say i prefer this to like the sensitive ponytail guy vibe who lies to women and is like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I've never received a blowjob to completion.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
I prefer this because it's masculine. I'm into this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803
Yes, they're overcompensating.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Alaska, Idaho, and Montana, get ready. My Come Together Tour is coming your way this week. Thursday, April 24th, I'll be at the Sullivan Arena in Anchorage, Alaska. Saturday, April 26th, I'll be at Idaho Falls at the Mountain America Center. And then Sunday, April 27th, I'll see you at First Interstate Arena at Metropark in Billings, Montana. Get tickets now at tomscura.com slash tour. Thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
There you go.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You couldn't have done something that bad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Ghost crew, you know what I'm saying? God, ghost crew. Yeah, they always gave us bangers, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You tweeted the N-word?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It's definitely your last day here, bro. Fuck. I'm so fucked. Yeah, you definitely got to pack up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Maybe, you know, Cholo stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Well, damn, that definitely got everybody on the social media team into a meeting that day. For sure. They're like, everybody go to the conference room real quick. We have something we need to discuss.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
For Lynn and Madison.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, check this out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Watch this bullshit. Scott Welsh, he did a Muppet-style spinoff where he takes podcast clips and he posts them. He put this one out the other day.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Dennis, does he, where's his stuff? Is he in?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
The main thing is that you're getting all the benefits of an eating disorder. Yeah. You know, without all the health complications. It's good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And also we love the Muppets.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
He was the magic. Sometimes you can't duplicate it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
There you go. Stop looking gay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Smoke like an adult.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It was so fun the other day. We were talking about babies with the boys. Yeah. And they were like, why do you give a baby? I go, well, babies love spicy sausage. So if you ever have a baby, you give them real spicy sausages. And then you give them cigarettes and tequila. And they were laughing so hard. They're like, to a baby? I was like, yeah, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Babies love to smoke, drink, and eat spicy foods. And they were like, ah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, they know. They know they're putting it together.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I was like, no, man. Not a thing. So much fun. Trying to make a baby strong, you make a baby smoke. So fun. So fun.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You have to spend the night at the restaurant. And they're like, is that true? And I go, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
He was so drunk. He was hammered. And they had like some guys with him who were so put together and they were like, well, Dennis has his own challenges. He means well. They were like, this guy's fucking out of his mind.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
That's definitely weird, and it definitely brings about a great segue.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
There are some out there checking out just children's entertainment.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
The LA Times put out an article that they discovered that fake Down syndrome influencers are being created with AI. They're being used to promote OnlyFans content.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Isn't this insane? I've been waiting for this. We were talking about, like, what's going on? Like, how are all these Downs people just being like, you want to fuck? It's so great. Here's what it says. A disturbing trend has emerged in which artificial intelligence is being used to create fake Instagram influencers with Down syndrome to promote adult content.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
According to a report from 404 Media, this practice often involves stealing content from real creators and replacing their faces with AI-generated ones. These fabricated personas are then used to sell explicit content, exploiting the fetishization of disabilities. One of the most notable AI-generated influencers is at Maria Dopari. Can you pull up hers? Is her Instagram still there?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Nope.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
So it's not. Oh, it's not.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It is down. So she got, I mean, the LA Times article.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
This was her. These accounts typically recycle content using, reusing videos, bios, and linking to the same adult content platform. While many of the AI generated faces appear convincing at first glance, subtle distortions and inconsistencies often reveal their artificial nature.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And then it says, some of these AI personas explicitly reference their appearance in relation to adult content, even using phrases like only down as part of their marketing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
So that's the answer to this. When we were like, what's going on with Down's adult content? It's AI generated.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Well, this is a perfect chance to segue into one of Annie's inner thoughts.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah. And for Kim Jong-un, Kim Jong-un loves NBA basketball. So they went there on like a humanitarian trip. And I think they were all retired former players and they played like the North Korean national team. And I believe they lost.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I would say I've watched all of his content. And he definitely purports to be still active in the player community.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Still has a lot of wisdom. A lot of wisdom to share, okay?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
So it's a really interesting point that he's making, though.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
So what he's saying is like some girls are saying specifically like, oh, I don't give head.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Right. And he's saying, no, bitch, it's all on the menu. The menu is the menu, meaning you do do it all. Don't give me this shit. I only do this and that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
If I want this, this is what you're doing. If you're not participating in this section of the menu, then you're fucking full of shit. Get out of here. So you do give head, period.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, yeah. But everyone was kind of like, yeah, it's fine. Go ahead and lose.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Like, don't. Don't embarrass them.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
No, he's just saying like, I want head. If your point of view is that's not really something I'm into, he's like, get the fuck out of here. That's not an option to say that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, he was ripped that whole trip. Yeah, he was ripped.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
The shades are an interesting choice for these videos.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I like seeing the ring light in them.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah. I don't think we've ever seen that. He prioritizes video quality and audio.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
He's not a mess.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It's pretty cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It is pretty cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
The clip. Oh, the clip that you've been talking about. Okay, here we go.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
The breathing is menacing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I understand.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Well, it'd be a lot easier to watch if it was a female's, you know?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
No, well, I don't know if it's gay things bother me. It's just that I go like, ugh. I always think of like anytime I see a man's foot, period, like even in flip-flops, I'm just always like, ugh. Like I just have kind of disdain for men's feet. But I understand that like he's gay, so there wouldn't be the same level of disdain. But I just, I can't. I can't dismiss my own disdain for a man's foot.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Maybe some blood is in there too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
So much sweat.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Oh, this guy's in heaven. That part I understand how sweet this is to him. Yeah. I get it on that level. Sure. It's the source of it for me that I'm like, oof.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Like if this was a guy who was like, oh, I got this from a female volleyball player. Even then I'd be like, it's different.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
He hit up somebody.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I don't think there's a going rate. I think this guy just hit somebody up and was like, hey, man, what would it take? And that guy was probably like, give me a grand or something, you know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You don't usually come in and go, I can't wait to show you this thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I know, which is also upsetting as the player.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, you never, like, every time you put it on, you're like, this sock is, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Help. Pricing a sock sale. Okay. He wants me to wear socks and shoes 10 days in a row. Says he likes them very dirty. How much would you charge? I sell usually $10 per day.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I might be underselling. I'm new in the foot market, but 10 days seems like it should be really expensive. I just can't come up with a number that's fair to me. So this is somebody asking. 200 sounds reasonable.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I think you need to take into consideration what brand you are wearing and what else is being provided with the sale. One of my friends does the socks fetish and her starting price for 24 hours of wear is $45. There you go. If you want them worn longer, then it's $10 a day if she provides pictures or a clip that's also extra.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I think when it comes to used items, Reddit gives you a false idea of what you can sell. I do the sneaker fetish. And once I wear them, I wince every time I see someone try and sell their sneakers for $50. Oh, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Well, it looks like there's a big debate going on on what the price should be. But I understand that. How do you price it? That's a big deal.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
No, I don't think he did.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
That's really what you're paying for it. You're like, all right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
No, I'm saying you're being compensated for your own discomfort at that point. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Well, this was really cool. I appreciate it. I've been just like... And your friends have been sharing this?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
That's really cool, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
The history of olfactophilia has been present for a considerable amount of time in years. The used socks fetish has been derived as a subset of this. In 94, a study was conducted which found that 45% of people were... The foot fetish are interested in smelly socks. This shows that there is a common interest between olfactophilia and foot fetishism. Can you make money? Yes. How much?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
As mentioned above, socks can sell up for $60 and more. Obviously, it depends on a few factors, such as activities performed in them, duration, and wear of also material. There's a bunch of, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It is an incredible country.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You've got to start selling this stuff, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
That's the site. Wow. It's a trusted marketplace, safe and anonymous.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Over 1.5 million users and growing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Well, I think... Gentlemen, if you wouldn't mind setting up an account and maybe getting some stuff for us to explore what's going on in this space. And have everything approved by me first. Send me what you're thinking of and then I'll...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
tell you whether or not to bid on it all right let's and do that today jello let's transition to another you called him cholo cholo yes um what is up with you you're gonna have a stroke why am i gonna have a stroke you keep mispronouncing words i was just so sexually aroused i kind of just stuttered um speaking of getting my dick hard what's happening She's showing you those neck veins.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Look at that. The traps.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
But we have different people that like different things here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Those veins are awesome, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
She's so vascular. You don't like that at all?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Well, it's a whole lane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Muscle mama. She's 180 pounds, bodybuilding adult model. Yeah. Neck vein lover. Isn't that crazy? That's a whole other lane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Guys are cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
To think that that's really, I never even thought of that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Some people go, oh, neck veins are my, like.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
This is just showing that neck vein.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And that's making some guy JSD right now. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
So do I, but I'm just saying that this is obviously popular. I like seeing that neck pain, baby.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Really?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
So Gayle King, Lauren Sanchez.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
What about Lauren?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Jeff Bezos' sweetheart.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
That's a factor.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
There they are.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Those are the broads in space right now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And I liked that. They called it a space crew.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
a tight bodysuit and that that's the accomplishment yeah you're just a passenger yeah it's not and you didn't build the spaceship you're not an engineer no of course you didn't do anything you're just gonna sit and go for a ride yeah yeah that's hilarious you know i honestly think every time we point out people's i love that i saw a thing i'm a woman that makes it worse sanchez yeah she's wearing um like high heels yeah and she had her zipper open for most of the promos for this i
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I'm just going to play our opening clip, but we'll get to your exciting clip soon. Okay. All right. All right. Hold on a second now. Hold on a second now. All right. And here's your opening. Here you go. I don't want to fuck.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
She's so about just looking hot.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
That's all they are, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I really like that this is a diverse group of women.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Because Lauren is Latin. Yeah. Katie's white. I see an Asian lady, two black ladies. It really, I'm just like.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
That's so fucking, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Nope. It's really fucked up. This is so fucked up. It is fucked up, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Women supporting women. All right. Should we take a quick break? Yeah. Yeah. Take a quick break and we'll be right back. Sell your socks.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You can catch our next guest on the Growth Spurt Tour right now, or you can see his most recent special, Starfish, available on YouTube. Go to bradwilliamscomedy.com for tickets. It's Brad Williams, everybody.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Let's go. I'm not tired. Thanks for coming in. Of course. Congratulations. How many specials is that now for you?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
People always ask that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, I know, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
No, I mean, and then there's the person who's like, I was just trying to help you out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I made it more interesting when I yelled.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
My story was amazing. I went out to do this gig at a casino. Yeah. It was a pretty big one. Somewhere in like, I don't, like central California.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It was a big room. Yeah. And I drove out there with Jay Larson. Yes. So it was the three of us and we get out there and the, the, the, the contact at this venue is,
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
was like who are you guys and we're like oh we're two of the comics he's like this is brad's show good i told her to say that what a dick we were like wait what do you mean yeah it's the three of us were booked and he was like well i mean you guys are not really like who people are here to see you know and we were like okay and then he was like so all right let's figure out how we're gonna do this
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
All right. He goes like, Brad's obviously last. So he was like, which one of you guys will go? We were like, I don't know. And he was like, Brad, how do you want it to go? We were like, hey, man, like we are comedians.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And he was like, yeah, but I mean, wait till you see what he does. You're not going to compare to that. And he was straight up like, you guys ain't shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
My, how times have changed. Oh, no. He was... We were like, all right, man. So then he gave us our assignments. He was like, you do 10, you do 15. Is that cool with you, Brad? And then Brad was like, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I've had a great one like that in Vegas, too, which the guy was like, do you even do you even know who this other guy like this other comic and i was like no he was like yeah he's he is he is a headliner i was like bro i got booked to close this show he's like there's no way you could follow that guy like the guy i was like So was this the booker, the security guard? Who is this?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
This guy just would like sit in his suit at this Vegas. By the way, he ended up like allowing us to trade, me and this other guy. And it was, everything was fine. I was like, yeah, out of your mind. It's great. But at Brad's show, he was right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Me and Jay did fine. We were like, it was fine. And then Brad went up there and just fucking denied it. And then that guy was like, you see why?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Fuck yeah, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
What happened?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Fuck, man. Yeah. So many bad things can happen. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I had a good bit about that many years ago. Yeah. The thing is, I progressed from, I used to call you guys little N-words. So...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
me it was like oh i think it was a tell and if it's not a tell oh he he yes it was yes it was floor n words yes yes that is such a good yeah and that's just like i can't beat that no i can never beat i saw him do that live uh in 2011 i still remember yeah at the las vegas uh they were doing a comedy festival okay and that's where he dropped that and i was like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
He's the best.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
The world is not designed for either of you. Yes. So both of you are adapting in different extremes. Yes. For a world that goes, no, no, we made it for everybody else.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Ball. He drives.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah. Oh, that's cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
What's that? Because I realized I was in this situation that you have to find yourself in all the time, which is I was at a NBA game and I was on the floor talking to people and two guys that were both like six, nine, seven- were having conversation above me. Yes. And I was like, this is so insane. Yes. And I was like, hello. And they were like, they were here being like, yeah, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And they just talked to each other up here. And I was like, so you have to experience that. Oh, it's like, yo, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I did Shaq's podcast and I was like, what's something that is so lame to you? He's like, water bottles. They're so small.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Dude, I brought this up on a podcast once. Yeah. I'm making just like a general observation about imagine being this big and not having the athleticism and not realizing that it would resonate with some people who were like, yeah, man, this is...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
This guy was the five foot tall dude who lost his shit in a bagel store for being made fun of for his height. And it went viral. He became, I guess that's why he has a promoter. So I like that. He's like, you want to fuck? Hit up my promoter. Tell him you're from Suffolk County, preferably.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Wait, so who?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You're saying LPs weren't cast. Was somebody else cast for this job?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
CGI.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Let's get high and let's fuck. Yeah. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Let's go. I feel like that era is over. I don't think anyone would do that now. Yeah. Even if you went on with that, they would be like, yeah, we don't really want to. We don't want to deal with that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, I guess he's like, I don't want someone to hit me up that's far from here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It would have been cool for the actors to get.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Fine.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Because Peter probably started with dwarf roles, I'm sure.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, like the bagel shop. I don't know if I can bring this in.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
In the role of a lifetime.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, I played it for McConaughey when he was here. Yeah. I played the trailer. He said he'd never seen it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
This is absolute chaos.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah. Oh, here's when I showed it to McConaughey.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And he was like, I've never seen this. One of the craziest things that I've ever seen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I'm his brother. We're twins.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I've shown that to so many people and they're like, when the fuck did Esmael do this? I'm like, no, this is real, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You take roles. You have to earn the ability to be like, yeah, I don't do those roles.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
When you were a growing, developing young man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Did it really? So there was a lot of ladies who were like, I want to try this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
women would come up to me after shows and be like this is happening seriously like this is this is happening tonight and i'd be like okay i always wanted to do that yeah were you finding a lot of repeat people or was it just like this is like a dream i've always wanted to try
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Well, we were at a gay bar last week, and I can say that they had a fetish for your husband as well.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Don't we all? I mean, you are a bear. One guy was like, oh, yeah, you're definitely a bottom. I was like, excuse me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Excuse me. Yeah, don't get me wrong. He goes, you're so innocent. I go, I don't think you know what you're saying. Has he listened to the podcast? I was like, jeez. He was pretty drunk. Yeah. I was like, okay, buddy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Oh, shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Oh, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
But damn, I could have been gay. It was very flattering.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You were like, oh, these are... Because you don't hear... Women don't shower you with compliments. Right. So, like, I mean, I've been out and, you know, you... Whatever. You might sense that, like, somebody looks at you and they go, oh, that person is giving me a look. But these guys were straight up like, yes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You want to hear great job, here's a blowjob. Yeah. It's on the menu, bitch. The menu is the menu.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I get it. Also, I feel like as men, you kind of go like, yeah, of course, your mother is like, I like it. I like when they obviously give me affection too, but I think you feel like, oh, it's really good and healthy that your kid goes, mom is everything. Yeah, definitely. Don't get me wrong. But I love the compliments. I do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah. Well, they were there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Is the same guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Is it Ivanka? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Ivana was the mom. I thought Ivanka was the mom and Ivana is the daughter.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I'm pretty sure Ivanka is the... No, it's Ivanka.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I mean, her birth name is Ivana.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
But yeah, that was one of those.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
A tiger would always beat a lion in a fight.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Really? Yeah, but I understand what you're saying.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You know that lions don't live in the jungle?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It's a misnomer. It doesn't apply.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I think he probably should have just been like, hit me up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I don't know if we need a middleman.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Sometimes the internet wins. Listen, you would need a pride to defeat a tiger, okay?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You just don't know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I go, without a doubt, it's Tiger. The book says Lion. And I just said, we should never play this game again because this is nonsense.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Then I pulled up. He's crazy. I did a bunch of research, and I did screen grabs, and I showed it to my son.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
No. Not a bit? I was so fired up about it. Not a project in high school? I was so fired up about it. I knew about... What? Listen, the tiger is bigger. Listen, the tiger is bigger. Well, size doesn't matter. It weighs more. They hunt alone. They are more agile. They jump higher. It is a more ferocious solo cat. And the idea that all things being equal, the lion would win is absurd.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I will never accept it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Listen to me right now. Josh Zolo, I want you to book a big cat expert to come in here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I don't think I'll pay for it, but I think this Middle Eastern guy might. Yes. They do it for fun.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And watch big cats fight.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And which I would sign up for if that were somebody else.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Very true. Yeah, the South don't give a shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
All right, I'm going to show you these clips. You tell me if it's horrible or hilarious.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
They're used to more chaos.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
That's the thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I've got to say, kudos to the cameraman. This is how you want to watch a disaster happen. With real clear composition.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Nope. Guy in a stove. Oh, it's a delivery? All right. It's a delivery. This guy's like, you pick it up. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It was crazy that though, I forgot that in the bagel shop, this other guy attacked him, like jumped on him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Oh!
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah. So that was real pain. That was... That... I have to give huge credit. When you get a scream like that, it automatically becomes hilarious. I don't know. Like, if it's a great scream...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Probably. Probably. I think they were talking shit about how angry he was in general and everyone was like, just get your fucking bagel. And he brought up like, obviously like real things like I get made fun of and people are always snickering and saying these things about me. And then he got in people's faces and one of them was like, I'll fucking take you down, bro.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
He's not strapped into anything. He's going to come down. He's going to come down. I don't see it. This is going to hurt. Is he free climbing? Oh, Jesus Christ. He's solo climbing? He's way up there now, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
That was really loud. He's totally knocked out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Oh, yeah, let's see how he did. Let's see what it says here. He was 22 years old. He was practicing for a feet climb. 50 feet he fell. That's dead, right? He never hooked into the fall delay system. You're dead. We just saw a man die. He sustained a major concussion but was conscious and was treated by firemen EMTs. He made a slow full recovery. Wow. What?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
The gym is now under investigation for not properly making sure their customers are taking safety measures. Duh. Yeah. This was in Poland. Of course. In Poland. Yeah. He's 22. Young guy, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Done. Here's one more for you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
This could go poorly. I don't even know what we're setting up here, but I feel like it's not going to go well.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
A seatbelt would have. Yeah. That was. Tips over.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Pretty crazy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Wow. Full rotation. That's pretty awesome.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And then he flew. No offense. You would have flipped, like, three times.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
There's definitely a girl out there for him somewhere. I know there is.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It would be insane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
All right, Christina, you want to show them a few?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
There's no way that could beat a tiger. That's a mountain lion.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I have.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I don't know if he does. I think it might be look like. Is that Tyson Fury? He's enjoying it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Look at the size of the paws.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
There's one dude that he had people clearly at his palace. Yeah. And then he just released his tiger into the swimming pool. They were all in the pool and they all were like, they all start freaking out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
that's what I have to worry about is walking down the street like someone mistaken me for a small rodent and then there goes Brad and then that's not by the way that'd be a hilarious way to go hilarious death if a hawk just picked you up oh yeah these guys are all like hanging out like hey it's a pool party it's fun and then homeboy's like oh I got a fun thing to do pose for the pool party and here comes the tiger
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
That sounds like a goddamn engine start.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
So crazy. I would never swim faster. Oh, my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I like that it's hashtag Arab hashtag prank. Hashtag Arab pranks.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Freaking out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I think we're good. I think we can see what else is out there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
That sounds like an AMG engine.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It could be wrong. It is a good name for a band.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
They're not... That's going to get some... You're in the crosshairs now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
If you listen to the way an AMG starts, it's very similar.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And then there has to be dwarves that are into adult baby play. God willing. And they're the gods.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You don't have to do this fucking stupid shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You don't think that's real?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
These are just sound effects?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, it's really awesome.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Why?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Oh, my goodness.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I think he was like, I know what you did on this date and I'm good right now. I don't need to hear it. I don't want to hear it. It wasn't, by the way, it wasn't the food that he didn't want to hear about. Yes. He was like, you can tell me what you ate anytime.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
There's no... She doesn't seem to be pushing hard, but maybe she's just got a talent.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Thank God we have this open poly mindset. We've got kids, these two, by the way.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It's the kind of guy you see at like the Don't Let the Pigeon kind of musical.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You know my first thought of when I saw this person doing this? I just think of the parents being like, fuck.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Wow.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
I say this to my mother all the time. Whenever she's like, well, I can't help being who I am. I go, yes, you can and you should. Don't say the thing that you think you can't say. You can not say it. You could just not. This should be your new mantra. I'm going to not be myself. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
We would love to hear from you. This is Mila. The Instagram is thefartworldofficial. She's one of the fart models there. Mila's part of Fart World, which is an OnlyFans account with over 150 models on their channel. Fart World charges $14.95 a month to watch all the models fart. It's great. We are challenging whether or not these are authentic farts.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, you don't have to share all your thoughts.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And you definitely don't have to make videos about it. Definitely don't.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You don't have to share it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
The dwarf said something. Let's check in. Somebody also tried to shame me about that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Somebody was like, your silence on Israel and Palestine speaks volumes. I'm like, good. Great.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Jokes about how their balls smell need to weigh in on this conflict? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, this is nonsense. This is total nonsense.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
We're not building everything for absolutely everyone. I mean, with this person, we've done it before and people get upset, but the truth is, it's kind of what you said. This person just needs to be shamed.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You should be shamed for being this size. And, you know, like what she needs to do is just go to a camp and drop.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
To everybody at the Fart World official and to Mila, you're being doubted. I don't know if there's any way you could prove that you're actually farting like that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And then there should be a thing on the other side of that where it goes, this is how much more you're going to pay over. You know what I mean? Like you get a surcharge. If you can't fit through those, you go to the next one. They're like, all right, now you're going to pay 10% more and then 20% more. And then that heifer in the airplane, they're like, you're going to pay triple the price.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
and fries don't be wrong I love Waffle House I need to stop going there because it's too good but yeah alright we have to wrap up if you want to see Brad and you should on tour go to bradwilliamscomedy.com if you want to see his latest special it's called Starfish it's available now on YouTube can I plug one more thing of course I just came out with a hot sauce
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You will sit on Eni's lap, and you will fart, and we'll just see how it goes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Thank you very much for coming in.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Congratulations on everything. Thank you, guys. And we'll see you guys next week.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Bye, fellow Americans. There's one mystery we have not yet solved in this country, and that is where all the cum is.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
It's 10 in the morning. Come on, Eni.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
To watch all these models fart?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Well, that's what we don't know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You would go to Fart World?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah, this guy's probably doing a similar thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You don't want to join his OnlyFans?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
You don't want to pay his black slang? He's going to get his.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Whatever, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Okay. Well, a fun transition is KTLA. Did you see what KTLA put out?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
KTLA, which was your local news for most of your life.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
They just, a couple days ago, just out of nowhere, sent out a tweet.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
And you know what the tweet said?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Yeah. Wow. They just put that out and they called it a technical error. They accidentally posted the N word from a news, a news station was just like, here's our thought today. Oh my God. Yeah. And that's all that it was. And then they had to, follow up and just said, we experienced a technical error while adding language filters to our...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
what is it, to our social media accounts resulting in an offensive word being accidentally shared. We are appalled and apologize that this occurred. It feels like somebody just tweeted it, but not that they were like, oh, we were updating our filters and then this happened. But yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
So they meant to add the N-word to its list of muted words, but accidentally posted it instead.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
Like, here's something we shouldn't say. Let's just post it to our several hundred thousand followers.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Brad Williams’ Little Problem With Snow White | Your Mom's House Ep. 807
KTLA's great, but KTLA, you can't just tweet the N-word.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Did he cup your balls to comfort you?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Because he gave you drugs that floored you, and then he was watching you fry, like watching you take a journey.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That doesn't sound remotely gay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Hold on. I've got so many more questions.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, so good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I get it. I love that entree. That's the secret. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I didn't even tell you what happened to me in my vortex.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Did I? So I went to a vortex.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's a spiritual location in Sedona where you get downloads and, you know, your high vibrations. And I didn't get any. But I got to see a bird fly at like my eye level, bro. Like a fucking black crow. It was like chilling like right there. And I was like, oh, that was worth it. That was tight. You ever seen a fucking crow fly like right at your fucking eye level? Tight.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
yeah dude you know what i'm saying i was too scared to do the drugs but i i tripped out on a fucking bird bro was like talking to me he was all he's all let go bitch i asked sage for uh more dmt i don't mind taking that stuff yeah i was like send some bro oh because you know what i've done lsd in my formative years yeah i don't know why i'm whispering i don't know either but
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Some revelations, things revealed in the world. I'm so excited.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I don't need to see stuff anymore.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But that's, I'm happy for you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It wasn't scary. Okay. Okay, so this, I have so many thoughts about this opening clip. Yeah. I mean, first of all, Orange Chicken at Panda Express.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I understand she's in a mall, clearly. She went to the food court.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Get it. Why not find a toilet? I've had diarrhea in the mall here at the domain. One time I was at Free People and I felt diarrhea coming on. You know what I did? Yeah. I left and I looked for a toilet and I found one. Yeah. Malls have toilets. So my question is, was she trying on a thong?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Satanic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I don't think she's trying on stuff, Victoria.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Shut the front door.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Who does that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But then is she shitting in her pants? No, no, no. She's pulling down her pants and then going into the room.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Why? What's wrong with those? What's wrong?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You should flip the order.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You buy your lingerie first.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, the third eagle of the apocalypse.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Panda Express is so goddamn good, though.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
She has nice hair, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Have you ever shat in a dressing room?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I haven't either.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, yes. Yes. He's drinking Joe, too. Wow. Oh, my God. How long can he sustain that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Vote for the Donald.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oof. It's so crazy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I don't understand it either. What a skill.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, that's how he calibrates the sound.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, wow. I would pay to see him do a concert of all my favorite songs.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, and he's always in front of those birds.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You think he could cover Bauhaus or The Cure? Oh, wow. I wish he would do Bela Lugosi's Dead. That's a long one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I know. It's like we support him. We support his platform. We're all about his stuff. I wish he'd fucking get it. I love you. I miss you. You've been gone for so long.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You try it Tom. Any?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. There's nobody that can do what this guy does.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Nobody. I mean, I've had friends that can do the two fingers.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I feel like Bert can do that. Doesn't Bert do that? Or he goes like that. Like he does that. Who? Bert Kirshner. Doesn't he do that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Just, he can't win.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Burt Kershaw.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Burt Kershire.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
At the Super Bowl.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's amazing. Burt Kershire.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's why I changed my last name from Pajitsky to P. That was a good call. By the way, buy my lipstick, ChristinaP.com. You get, she get all four colors at the same time. I'm wearing Berlin today. That's the darkest. Perfect red, atomic red, Madison, Berlin.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
yeah what no i know we're thinking you're thinking about something else yeah i was looking at something on the board there but oh um yeah it's been a very busy very busy time a week now you're back now i'm back before that we went to clear i'm back i'm here poly and by we we went to sedona for a little getaway to get away from our children that was awesome days that was amazing
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
because it's the perfect one. It's not too chalky, it's not too runny, it lasts just the right amount of time in my estimation. So try it out, christinap.com. Try it out. When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof, like Gymshark or Mattel, yes, they have a great product and marketing, but an often overlooked secret is actually the business that is making selling simple.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
For millions of businesses, that's Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet and the not so secret secret with ShopPay that boosts conversions up to 50%, meaning way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
shape size style setting cut color clarity carrot if you're like most people you just have no idea but trust me she knows exactly what she wants so it's time to learn fast there's no better place to start than bluenile.com at bluenile.com you'll create a bigger more brilliant engagement ring than you can imagine at a price you'll never find at a traditional jeweler
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's $50 off with code YOURMOM at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. What else was I going to say? Bert Kirshner. Oh, fuck, I forget.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I always like fart things.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That is horrifying.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I did her a big favor. Do you know that there's couples?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It is a high vibration place. The aliens, there are vortexes. I visited a vortex alone. You did not join me, but that's okay. And we went on a spiritual journey.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Very sweet. I've met him at the mothership.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, super sweet. There's couples that don't fart in front of each other and couples that hold in farts for years and years. Can you imagine?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It just seems like like a hard way to live your entire life with another person. Excuse me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, my God. That's no-win situation.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, look, you may as well enjoy the sound that the fart makes and laugh. Why not have a laugh at the same time as you're breathing in farts?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yes, yes. He can fart. He goes...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I don't think I've had one. I don't know if I've had one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
The fart stair walk.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Wow. I don't think I could relax enough to do that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's really cool, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, Annie, congratulations.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Hitler burned queer books. You know, this comes right off the tail of.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Did you? This was your first one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Black and indigenous, Creole and Romani. Do I sound like that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I've been listening to it on a roll.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Romani Creole. Before Hitler got on meth, he was a guy to go fishing with.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You did?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's what I'm saying. That's the craziest sentence I've ever heard. Before Hitler got on meth. You know who he sounds like? It sounds like Stevie. Yeah. Old Stevie. It's exactly the same.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
He sounds just like Stevie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Wow. This is a powerful song. We got to learn this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Follow your black sisters.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's funny. It's always white ladies taking up this cause. They always take up everybody else's cause. The white ladies, huh? Yeah. These fucking ladies, these broads. Do you think these broads fuck? Oh, here we go. Yep.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Tell me where you went. Can you share with us?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You're Latino.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
She didn't say black, did she? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, my. I felt that anti-Semitism.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Dude, she didn't list the Jews.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Or Palestinians.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
She's so full of hate. But she made it all about the gays. It says about the gays. The first part of the song is just about the gays. And then she goes into the people of color. Shameless. But then she lumps in Creole with Latin and Hispanic. Wait, hold on. Latin and Hispanic aren't the same? Aren't you guys all the same?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
what's the difference between Latin and Hispanics?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, I didn't know that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Not European is what I called it. Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
She did not include my people. Slovakian, Romanian, Bulgarians. Come on, man. She's full of hate.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You go into space? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No. Your mom's way classier. I'd like to say something. I'm going to, and I'm, and I. I'm not a Disney adult by any stretch.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Is this Disneyland? This appears to be Disneyland, correct? Not Disney World?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I mean, last time we were at Disneyland, I felt that it wasn't indicative of a real classy Disney experience. The people they're hiring now are not upholding the Disney brand. They're being rude. They're being like too casual.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I don't like it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You think, what is that? It's just like they can't find people?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Like normal people?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
This is disgusting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
disneyland workers who flick their tongues out at you no they suck she doesn't get included no because when we took our boys to disney last year i noticed that that the staffers are they're not like upholding the the disney vibe anymore yeah that's terrible
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
We had a waiter. You remember the waiter? Yeah. In Sedona who...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What did you think about us? Were you like, how do I murder? How do I kill? How do I conceal the bodies?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It was like too much. And he had like rehearsed.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I hate the bits. I hate the... I've been a server at high, like a high-end French restaurant. I've been a server. I've been a cocktail waitress. I've worked at many levels.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And there's a way to give service to people where it's not disingenuous. Like, hey, how are you? I can tell you didn't like that a bunch. Or like...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, it's mean, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Because I feel like that's a reprieve from what normally goes on in your brain, which is, I mean, yesterday I was watching the new Bridget Jones movie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
he's like Colin Robinson, the, the emotional vampire from what we do in the shadows. Like they, waiters can drain you of your life supply.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And he was, and I'll tell you something as someone that's been a waitress, he's a career waiter. He is. And he provides excellent service. We'll say like the level of service was great. Like he totally did his job. But I think when you become the, the main character in someone's dinner, it's, you're also robbing that table of them just having an experience at a restaurant.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Cause now you're like the life of the party. They don't need you to be the life of the party. You're just there to bring their food.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And you came in and you were like, the chick stuff. And I'm like.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But as, like I said, like he doesn't need to ever in every five seconds, you're like part of my reach. Like, It's fine. You don't need to pardon the reach. Just get the cup out of my fucking life. Okay. And then they give 500 plates for one thing. You know what I mean? Like just fucking, it's okay. You don't have to come every Tuesday. Everything. Okay. I have everything tasting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Like just shut the fuck up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You still good. Yeah. I'm fucking still good. I'll let you know. It's too much service. And what I learned in a French restaurant when I worked at a French restaurant, you know what they teach you in a French restaurant? Is that when you're not bringing food to tables or waiting, you just stand in the room. You stand up against the wall with your hands. And if they need you, they call you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
How did I say it? The stupid ass chick stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You're just looking.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. And you were disappointed because there's no murder. Yeah, I was like, who gets killed in this?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Time to get that money.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Because what goes on in your mind all day is what goes on in there. So the sound bath must have been a pretty crazy thing for you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Right. Because let's say, God forbid, the guy with the six bucket of beers wants more alcohol.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Reopen the check.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And then I'd rather take the time as a server to reopen a check in the middle of the show versus at the very end of the night having a stack of fucking you have to close out everybody's bill.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
By the way, a dollar for sauces is ridiculous. Those should be complimentary.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
and by the way i've eaten at guy fairy's restaurant in an airport outstanding it's good i really liked it so i'll pay a dollar for a condiment okay look hawaiian i can't read this my motley q and i like that they name things funny motley q pulled pork sandwich adorable 23.99 that is a lot of money for a Is this in Vegas? You're right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That is a lot for a pulled pork sandwich.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Babe, a bacon mac and cheeseburger at $24.99.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, it's not. It's an upper.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But here's my thinking from a branding perspective.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Guy Fieri, I thought, would appeal to a... Maybe like not so high to your price point. You know what I'm saying?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's Vegas, yeah. Vegas, baby.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's pretty standard. You go anywhere else, and you're going to pay this much for crap.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, no, this is not fair to do to a guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Can I tell you what is kind of disturbing, though, is that guy is holding the live chicken.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Maybe not. I would hold the cooked version. No. Because you don't want to think about the animal you're butchering.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Tom's grew a steak. This guy's so mad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But he didn't see the prices before he ordered. You can look at the menu, bro. You don't got to eat there, homie. Look at the prices before you fucking... He's so mad. He's so mad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You know what I liked is she had, so I don't know if you've ever done a sound bath, people here. It was fucking cool. It's so fun because they have different sounds. One is like a rain sprinkler.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You know, we've all got our things.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You know what it is? You go to Vegas, you put a few in him, and he gets angry.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, they're not subtle about that in other countries. They put pictures of lungs and stuff in Europe.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I literally said that. Yeah, you can see the prices on the menu before you order. So why is he shocked?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I mean, look, you and I were in Vegas when we were broke as Broke Comics. You know where we ate?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Chipotle, remember?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
We ate at Chipotle every day.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You don't have to eat at Guy's place.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
He puts his own picture of him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. I can't even do that on my videos. That's cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Chimes. Chimes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's not going to happen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, he's so clever. Did you see that? He gave that like, see how smart I am?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Fuck you, Bill Maher. I got this down. I love when guys like him break it down for you too, the economics of stuff, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Okay, here's the Christmas post. Do you think he's going to complain that they don't say Merry Christmas where he's from or that they've forgotten Jesus? What do you think that video is? It's going to be some complaint about how America has gone south with Christmas. They've forgotten the real meaning.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's where my money is. What is yours?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
So Merry Christmas.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
In June. In June.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. I mean, he didn't say, I know he did say season's greetings. Okay. I thought we'd get a rant.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, hold on. Echo told us. That was our lady, our sound guide. She, before, notified us that she would be calling in, remember this, spirits from other dimensions to assist us on our journey. And I was like, well, hold on. I didn't authorize that kind of stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
$7.11.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
This guy's fucking... No, Popeyes is not going out of business.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, dipshit. But I am upset that California Pizza Kitchen has gone out of business.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. Can you believe that? It's done? Will you Google it? Because there used to be one here at the Bromain in Austin. That's our children's favorite restaurant, CPK. And it's gone. And I don't think it's gone from... No. It did file for bankruptcy in 2020.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
The company emerged with a reduced debt load. Well, the one in Austin's gone, and I am deeply upset. Please, CPK, bring back your Austin location.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
CPK does provide a great product.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I just want to see like... Yeah, what is he like to you?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, he's only got like 2,800 followers. Babe, he's only got 2,800 followers.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
All this gobbledygook, this jargon. I don't understand what these people do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Let's go to his YouTube. Let's see what these episodes are like. What is he doing entire episodes on?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, okay. So he's legit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, that was the fatal flaw of our sound bath is that it took place in a conference room in a hotel. And every now and then somebody would open the door.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
This is a business advice, guy. I know. Don't do self-checkout. Yeah, no shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I hate self-checkout.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Can we please do some happy birthdays?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, it's my absolute faves.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I closed the door.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's so bad, his answer. I love it. I love how bad it is.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Happy birthday. Especially the bad Cockney accent is really what gives me the most joy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I love when it's bad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It kind of took us out of the moment of the journey.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I also like how many happy birthdays you can get.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. It's easy to get back in. And I like the sounds. They sound like little twinkles, like twinkle. And then she walks around you. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I do like the long of the ah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That could be a whole new lane. Ah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
If you could do a really long pause like that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's really funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
He did. And he said, thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What's going on with that kid? What do you think's happening?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Gosh, Jaden. Yeah. He's all over the map, that kid. Fucking stupid. It is fucking stupid.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Let's see you. Oh, you could so do this. Look at that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, and then I was so worried you would fart because it's at a higher altitude, Sedona, and we all had altitude farts.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You guys are twin brothers already.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Look at him. Oh, my God. You guys really are blue eyes. You got the blue eyes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, he's stunning.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Peter Murphy's got good everything. Good cheek structure, good eyelashes. So here's what you'd have to do to do this. You've got to get a spray tan. I don't think Peter Murphy spray tans. I think that you're exceptionally pasty.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And you need a spray tan, and then we've got to put some blue eyeshadow. And that's pretty much it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, it's a little eyeliner. He does it in the waterline, as they say. You could do that. But I still think...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Are you being serious? I would love that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I would love that. Would you try?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. I love guys in black eyeliner.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Here's the deal, man. You can't wear lipstick with a beard. I mean, that's probably why Peter Murphy doesn't do that. It's not appropriate.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, he's incredibly good looking. He's thin. He kept himself in shape and everything. But I still, I love Peter Murphy, but Robert Smith... is where my heart is. I mean, Robert Smith is like my first crush. Can you listen to me? I mean, growing up as a teenage girl, 13 years old, he's my first big crush. I have posters of him everywhere. I'm obsessed with Robert Smith.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
If you could do Robert Smith, You going to do it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, really? Sure. Don't get my hopes up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Like I said, I said what I said.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Thank you. Tell them. I like that you're supportive.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's so terrifying. You're like, where are they yelling at?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It'd be so scary if you're in line.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
yeah i have to and i look this is not very politically insane correct to say but nothing scares me more yeah than black black girls yelling like black women yelling holy shit girl get your life i mean i think it harkens back to middle school public school and like like this shit escalates bro and they will fucking throw down yeah they fight yeah here The shit gets real, bro.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
This is like, I'm having flashbacks to seventh grade.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Fucking Portola Junior High.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
dude black girls are vicious though they will in middle school cut you but yeah the that they say to each other i can't even come up with yeah i know it's pretty good it's like damn dude yeah all right i said what i said did you ever get jumped Of course. Of course. I mean, but yes. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I didn't. Here's the problem, man, is I had come from a nice Lutheran school.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I was like this quiet little blonde girl. I had a little bit of scrappy, a little bit of an attitude. And black girls would talk some shit in the locker room and talk shit everywhere. And I didn't know to shut the fuck. I just didn't know that you don't say anything. And I told them, I was like, why don't you shut up? Shut the fuck up. But this is a locker room. Bad idea.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And then I got on the radar and they're fucking me up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, don't talk to black people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I know. I just, I don't know what was wrong with me. I don't know. But that shit scares me, dude. To this day, I'm like, foof, get away from that. Get away from that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Don't get in your spirit place.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
i already knew when to shut the fuck up yeah i didn't know that one yet yeah for sure yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean like i defended myself not very well but i'd fucking i fought i tried dude but these bitches got crazy dude like ripping braids out during lunchtime, and they fucking fought. They fought hard. Harder than, like, Chola girls, because Cholas would fight, but never at school.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I feel like I didn't see Mexican girls throw down at school the way black girls throw down.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Anyone? Did you see Cholas fighting?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Cholas, girls.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
They fight at school?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Do you ever see white girls throw down like that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
This is a good point because UFC fighters are all crazy white guys, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah, but the majority is like crazy white guys.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Trashy whites.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Love the UFC. So there's something to it. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. Violence. Goddamn. Yeah. Asians don't fight. You ever seen Asians fight?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Like I'm saying in school, like public school. Yeah, in school I didn't see Asians fight. You ever see the Chinese kids throw down? No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But no Asians. No. No Chinese kids.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Not one. Koreans, no.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That Vietnamese motherfucker. He motherfucking lit this dude up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, that's true because I do know there are Asian gangbangers, Asian gangs.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Especially in L.A., yeah. I just haven't seen it. I just haven't seen it. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, let's get some emails.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Please share it with us. We've never seen it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, I'm lucky. Otherwise, I've had you as a husband. Mike!
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Mike. Go do your act, Tom. Get out on the road. Jesus Christ.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I look at the screen and it goes what's up motherfuckers Tom do I have permission then to have lovers get the fuck out of here you bitch girl get your life
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
How do we get down this hole?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, the Spirit Air employees.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Does she really do that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I know. Look, I have sympathy for them. It's a tough gig. Serving the public is... I don't think it's easy. Damn, it's the worst job. I don't think it's easy. It's harsh. Public... You know what's really hard is customer service and people are always angry and... Okay. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's your interpretation of what happened. For me, it was just, I was trying to impress you, trying to get on your level.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
How does this chick go on television and not say something? Sorry, my eyes are wide open.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Did not. Don't care. It's my vacation. This was my time in Sedona. I was connecting with higher vibrations.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Of course there is. There's a medical problem happening. Unless she's gacked on... She's not gacked.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
hanging out to kids what's a misandrist it's a opposite of misogynist yeah someone that hates men oh wait it's a fake word wait so yeah misogyny is woman hating and misandry is man hating misandrist but he's saying i'm a man yeah i don't understand this shit dislike or contempt against men you know
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I honestly did not know that I farted on a woman.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Really?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You all right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I did not.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Okay, no, no, no. Like, he just straight out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, gosh. Now I feel bad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Come on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I did not know that. I really didn't know that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Why not? It's perfect to shit out there. Wouldn't you love to shit in a field? I would love to shit outside with a nice warm breeze.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I would like to open defecate. Can we build me an open defecation area?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I'd love to. I've never experienced open defecation.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
There must be something to it because all the Indians love doing it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's fine. Who cares? Just shit out in the field. There's nothing out there anyway. It's rural. Who's it hurting? I think, you know what? I think this woman is open defecation phobic and I think she needs to fucking.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
They used their hands.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, I know in the, I don't know actually, I know in Muslim countries you use your hand.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, I've just learned that when I was in Afghanistan that yes, sometimes they use their hand and they wash their hand. That's why you eat with the left, wipe with the right or vice versa, I forget. I don't know, but they're not bringing paper towels out. Yeah, they're not bringing paper towels to the field. No way. Maybe they're wiping with plants or leaves or something.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What did she look like? Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is not my fault. Thank you for bringing this up, Josh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Look, humans have been shitting for centuries. This is how we all used to shit. Open defecate. Okay. Across North Africa, Middle East, and Asia, people traditionally use their hands to wipe after using the toilet, followed by washing them with water, often using the left hand specifically for this purpose due to cultural hygiene practices.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Tommy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
This is particularly prevalent in Muslim countries where water-based cleansing is emphasized. Yeah, so you wipe with your left and you eat with your right. Got it. You don't ever want to shake a Muslim's left hand.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, I don't know why she's just singling out the Indians. I'm telling you, it's got to be other.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
He just Googled that gas and bloating at high altitudes are common and can be caused by a number of factors, including lower air pressure, trapped gas, and swallowing air. It's not my fault, is what I think Josh Zola was trying to say.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yeah. Good for her. Good for them.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, well, I do remember the story about open defecation where they would come to like Disneyland and shit in public or come to cities and then shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
See, you know, don't think I didn't notice that when I brought up the idea that the Muslims use their left hand to wipe their ass, you looked at me like I was crazy. Okay, I just didn't know because you guys always are like, oh, Christina, you got these crazy ideas. Let me tell you about the next crazy idea I'm on. Can I talk to you for a second? Sure, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It's huge in the mommy TikTok world right now, the mommy sleuths out there. Candace Owens.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I love you, girl. Candace, come on your mom's house. You need to explain this, what I'm about to tell my husband.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
It is so good. You guys have to go to her website, CandaceOwens.com, to see the stuff for her YouTube. She's staking her career on the fact that Brigitte Macron, allegedly, Candace Owens is saying that Brigitte Macron, the first lady of France, is actually a man. A la mer.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
actually a dude come on i know it's crazy and she's got a ton of evidence and this poulard guy who wrote a book i bought the book i'm all into it candace i would love for you to come on and explain this to the world you're so into this i sound insane i've been into it for like a month now every day i'm like holy shit dude brigitte macron is a dude bro let's pull up a brigitte macron
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
So here's what I... Oh, we talked about this already on the show. Sorry, yes. But so the series is called Becoming Brigitte. And she goes through their genealogy of the family and how these two meet. And by the way, there's all these stories that Macron meets Brigitte when he is 17 and she is 36. First of all, that's not true. They're saying that he was 14...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I wanted to improve. Press you. What's so bad about wanting your spouse's approval? That's our love language, babe.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
And that's when they hooked up. And there's a whole ton of evidence. You guys have to get into every detail because it's fascinating that there's no photographs, allegedly, of this Brigitte Macron for 30 years. 30 years, no photographs, okay? She just... She's born. Okay, so then there's like three photographs that they put out of her. This is supposedly her at her wedding.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, they do these AI analyses now of photographs, like the kind that the Chinese use or whatever. And the AI is like, that ain't, That ain't Brigitte Macron. And that guy is actually her, I don't know, uncle, brother, whoever the fuck. It's a whole crazy story. Allegedly, she's assumed she's actually a boy. There's a family photo. Hold on. Where's that family photo? Okay. Let's go back.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Her name is actually Jean-Michel something. Go Google.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
So that's when she's teaching.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That is true. I really enjoyed Sedona. I like that you and I did that. And then you went on a little bit of a psychedelic thing, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Google Brigitte Macron young family photo. So it starts with here. So basically what happens is she and her husband get into the Elysee, whatever. He's prime minister. And like well-meaning journalists are wanting to investigate her background. Correct. And what they realize is that there's a black hole in Brigitte Macron's background.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
history which is like you can dig up school photos you can dig up everything everything's public so they're saying this this poulard and candace that actually brigitte macron is the little boy here on the left my left and i don't know who the hell this one is sitting on the lap of but isn't it possible that that's brigitte on the lap sitting on the lap
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
No, because they did like AI analysis of the boy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I'm telling you, bro.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Or whatever, photo recognition softwares and all of this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, if you look at, okay, can you Google childhood photo of Jean-Michel side-by-side with Brigitte Macron? I'm telling you, this little boy is identical to Brigitte Macron. If you do a side-by-side... And then they found a few photographs of Brigitte.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's Brigitte Macron before she became Brigitte. So she disappears. She goes to Algiers, has a sex change, supposedly comes back, and now is Brigitte. It's bananas. No, this is Michael Jackson. Who are you bringing up? Anyway, Candace, please come on the show and explain this better than I am. It's a whole story. It's fascinating stuff. Look, Tucker Carlson follows her, too. It's a whole thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Allegedly, allegedly.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Candace, come on. I know you're pregnant, girl. You're in Tennessee.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Jean-Michel. A man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Correct. Cool. Right, so she's actually Jean-Michel. She disappears. She comes back, and now she lives as a woman named Veronique for a while. It's a whole fucking thing, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I'll tell you why. Because it's not just that this woman is a man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
There you go. See those photos? Those four photos?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
They all do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
yeah so they suit them for defamation or slander but it's not on the claims that Brigitte is a woman I'm sorry Brigitte is a man there's slander in the details of the stories it's a long story it's not what you think it is so go back to those images those four images go up boom next row second row scroll down scroll down mommy there Look at those. Okay. Look at, teeth don't lie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Look at the middle two images.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's Brigitte as, okay. Got it. See that young man? Yes. And then you see Brigitte Macron. Look at that. I mean, are my eyes deceiving me?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What? Just a stranger at the place we were staying at. But that's Sedona. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
So the implications for this being, A, if this really is a man who transitioned to a woman, is because having a relationship with a 14-year-old boy is completely inappropriate and illegal and wrong. Secondly, there's ties to... allegedly, Candace is saying, in the Élysée, in the government, they're protecting because they, you know, she believes that this is a culture and they're protecting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
There's also links to the Rothschild family. Reggie Macron is actually a Rothschild, which is like the biggest banking company in France. I know. And they're protecting each other's interests. There's incest. There's all kinds of gross things.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Satanic cults. The lizard people are controlling. Here's my problem, Tom. Can I tell you my problem? Sure. I'm not doing standup anymore. I'm not out in the world.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I'm on the mommy sleuth TikTok and I'm here for it. I love it all. I need to get out of the house.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Tell me about it because I've never done that. I've never done that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I know it. But Candice, I love you. You're doing God's work.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm the talk.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I'm the TikTok today. Aliens.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That was like a Danish dating show or something. He goes to French. That's the Macron family. That's actually footage of how they say hello to each other at holidays. It's just a cool lady. She's got great tits.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
First of all, what's a Therion? I think these are like the mass cosplay nerds. This is what dorks are doing. Yeah, cosplay. Therion, furry. This is furry culture. Okay. And then quadronics. I'm not sure what a quadronic is. Oh, maybe you're getting on all fours, Claude, doing that dorky shit these nerds do on TikTok. Okay. I don't know when it, these fucking nerds, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
They need to go back to being ashamed of themselves.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Well, it's upsetting now that Ikea is embracing their stupidity.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's what I think, too, but this nerd sees it as a cultural validation.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I bet she could take them out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
There's just a lane of people that are proud of their STIs and they don't want to be shamed.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What does that mean?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Yo, I didn't even know you light it like crack.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
How do you take it? It's like a pipe?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Oh my God, dude. Like opium or fucking crack?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What does the DMT look like? Is it sticky like opium?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Dude, you smoked rocks, bro.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money, too. After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up from crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees, and free perks that actually cost more in the long run and... Switched to Mint Mobile.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Tommy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
What? What is DM?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Okay, so it's sprinkled in with pot so that you get – see, the pot alone would make me crazy. Can you do it purely without the pot?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
I was too scared to touch it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You were like, do you want to go into the forest with this guy I met?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Dude, do you? I was like, no.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Wait, his name is Sage.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
But you need it. You're not going to want it, but you need it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
You're not telling me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
A caterpillar.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
Like Alice in Wonderland.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Tom's DMT Voyage | Your Mom's House Ep. 798
That's tight.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
No thanks, Tom Hanks.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Listen, you know how tight I am about my sphincter. You don't want to start toying with that. It's not replaceable, guys. You only get one of them. They don't do colon transplants. You fucked.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Well, he is truly lost. Let's put it in his perspective. He lost his pleasure zone and his way to make a living.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
So it is a financial as well as physical and spiritual hardship.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
That's what you're embarrassed about? The shaving?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
It was a really good one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
What kind of guys? Were they bears, other bears or cubs or twinks?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, that one's been in my head for a decade.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, now he knows how ladies feel. Well, he looks very fat. He's so fat there. Oh, wow. You know what he looks like? He's about pregnant. Remember when I had to wear that support belt?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, the harness.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. He's wearing a captain's hat, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Hey, first of all, happy Smurf Day.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
See it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
He is so brave, I'll tell you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I love Bert's fun. By the way, I'm a little mad at you still because this morning I woke up and I was fucking so furious at you, dude, because I had this dream about you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
i speaking of like leather daddy so here's the dream i dreamt that you and i start to say it again i what i you what i woke up furious with you because i i dreamt that you did something terrible did you want to hear what you fucking did yeah i was so mad at you i really wanted to fucking just kill you in your sleep i was so fucking pissed i really was okay go on
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
It's your Smurf Day.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I don't know if you noticed, I was a little extra loud this morning when I was making my coffee. I was like, fucking wake him up. I don't give a shit. Any hoodles? I dreamt that you basically got into some really weird, kinky, sexual things. But absurd, like the kind of shit that we cover. Guys in like plastic masks.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
The latex guys. And then you were really in the dream into... Like you would suck cum out of a butthole with a straw. And I was like, babe, I can't do this. And Charlize Theron was there with all these other... I love her too. Which is like conflicted for me. It was conflicting because I really like her in real life, you know? And she was like, yeah, all the celebrities...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I know. You look every day a bit older.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
come to this club and we all sign NDAs and you can come here and do whatever you want. And I turned to you and I go, great, I'm divorcing you. I'm taking all your money and I'm taking your kids. Enjoy your fucking life, Tom. And I was super mad. Are you listening to me? So selfish.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Because you didn't come after me and you were like stoked that now you get to have this new fucking sexual deviant lifestyle. With Charlize. You gave it all up. Yeah. You gave up your family so that you could felch.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I was so mad at you. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Guys just leave their families.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I think you're really coming into your middle-aged dadness. I think this is a good year for you. It's spectacular. Last year crushed for you. It's going to be even better.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
To do sexual stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, like people peeing on each other. It was like sick looking people. Like when I had my colonoscopy the other day, we were in the waiting room and there were like these two gay guys and they looked really fucking ill. They looked ill, yeah. Like a lot of people getting colonoscopies don't look good. Yeah. You know? Yeah, they were like sick looking gay dudes. Anyway, I'm fucking so pissed.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I hate you so much. It took me like all morning to come down from that. I hate that one. Come for me. Shut up. No woman. Shut up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Ew.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I would go to that club.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
That's nothing burger. Honestly, if you were like, I want you to pee on me, I'd be like, yeah, who cares? That, to me, is a big... I didn't say I want to pee on me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
You could pee on me. That's a big nothing burger.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
That's easy to do too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
It's my Botox. I got too much Botox. I can't.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
No, I don't want to do that. Like in your shows.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Please, sir.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Don't make me hurt your dog. from don't you yeah you know where that's from oh like you don't know that movie by heart don't let me make me hurt you okay good come on mister her legs broken she's hurting real bad don't make me hurt your dog come on you love this guy oh oh It places the lotion in the basket.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Even better.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh, by the way, I mean, guys leave their families all the time for sexual things. Yeah. Just for sex. It's crazy to me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
But sometimes chicks do too, very rarely.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Those chicks are cool, though.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I'm a fist pig, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I'm a hardcore fist pig.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
He does like the tall brunettes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I think she understands that he's just hustling. He's a worker, and he's doing work.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, it's a Speedo. He's at TonyMichaelJohns96. It's a great handle.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh, Cougar? How lucky. He signed it and everything. So I have a feeling if you're nice to Tony and you request it, he'll sign it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
But you've always, people have always assumed you were older than you are.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Excellent.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Well, I'm so proud of your hustle, Tony. I love that you're printing out these photos. They're lovely. They're very high quality, and you sign them for the fans.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
What is that attributed to? Facial hair? Body hair?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
At 15? That's when it started?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
So if somebody wants to wish somebody else happy birthday or good luck, you can have Tony Johns do it on Cameo.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh, yes. How you been, though, Christina? I'm good. Thanks for asking, sweetie. Again, I'm so proud of you and your hustle here. printing these photos of yourself. And I think your future is very bright. You just stay out of trouble, though, okay? Yes, ma'am. Yeah, I can't get arrested anymore. No, don't get arrested.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yes, sir. Thank you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Bye. I think a cameo with Tony Jones would be amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
That's a great way for him to make some scratch. A lot easier than OnlyFans, too, even.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, to take your peener out. You can make those anywhere in public.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
So guys, get your cameos. Order the photos, I think.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Anyway, I wanted to plug Mother's Day is just around the corner. What better gift to get her than Christina P lipstick? Go to ChristinaP.com. I suggest just getting all four in one pop. Order it now so that you make sure to get it by Mother's Day. Celebrate your mom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I am wearing the perfect red right now, and it really is the power factor.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Yeah. Annie's like, yo. Now, what are you feeling when you watch that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
He admits that it's, I think the problem with this is that they're trying to convince you that A, if you're not into trans men, women, whatever, you're homophobic. Yeah. Or transphobic. Transphobic, sorry, yes, transphobic. And that you should, this should be presented a certain way. It's like, no, maybe not.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Thankfully for women, they don't guess your age. I don't want to know. You don't need to guess. I'll just tell you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
You can fuck whatever you want.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I don't have to be convinced that you're straight or whatever. I don't care.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
It doesn't matter. Yeah, no one cares.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Correct.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Sure, with a dong. It's a dick.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
It's not a deal-breaker situation.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
You want the kids to have me around?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
We have children, yeah. And we just do butt sex. But do we stop having sex entirely?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
That's the end of it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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You can be a fist pig.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Well, if you woke up with a vag, that would be a problem for me too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Your vag would be so unruly.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Very cutie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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It's so weird, especially if you're a person that's in the public arena like Wikipedia knows all.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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He really took him up on it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Dang. He doesn't look gay at all. Right? Would you have guessed that he was down for dudes?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Like dads.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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That no one's told these dads that they're attractive.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
And it's like the daddest of the dads that he usually approaches.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
He's like, I'm a straight up fucking.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
He followed him and then he starts following him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Yeah, because he's like, I'm all fucking fired up, bro. What's up?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Fuck, dude, I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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I know he's got his Christmas cards in there and everything.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Hey, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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So that means like on the weekends when we're all hanging out, I'm nude. If your mother comes over, your sister, you're just like, she's nude. What am I going to do?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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But what if I was, okay, so what if I'm a nudist and then I also decided to free bleed on my period?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
But I'm a nudist. Would this be a deal breaker for you?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
You know what's crazy, too? I knew this Hungarian mom growing up who wouldn't let her daughter call her mom. The daughter had to call her by her first name.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
They get used to it. Your mom and your sister are totally used to it. I'm a woman. They don't care.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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I wish you would become a nudist. How funny would that be? Me? If you had people over for dinner.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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And you're like, that's funny. Could you put a towel down before you sit on the furniture, please?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
That is the weird thing about nudists is that they just live their life without clothing. So they're not in a state of arousal. They're not in a state of doing anything.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
That's so gross.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I was like, are you kidding my body to like, no, not all the scarring and the, you know, injuries people you get over the years.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
What if I, hold on, I'm not done playing the game with you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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So nudist, yay or nay? I want you to really take it seriously.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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But you'd stay with me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
problem yeah it's annoying it's super it's super annoying but it's not a deal breaker is what you're saying social life would be really affected keep going very affected what's your next one okay what if i become a super environmentalist where it's to the point where like hey we have dinner plans tonight we're gonna drive over to our friend's house they live 10 minutes away and i say shit like babe you know how i feel about wasting fossil fuels in the car
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Because she didn't want to be.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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You drive. I'm going to bicycle there. It's going to take about an hour. I'll meet you there and then I'll bicycle home. If we have to record the podcast, it's going to take me like two hours to bike here. No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Mom. She didn't want to be aged.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Why don't you use the family rag?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
yeah no those are grounds for those are grounds for dismissal i think separation at least yeah wow and like i don't hound you about your choices but i'm constantly going through the trash separating out the plastics and the compost this is not appealing this is not is that the worst i mean someone like who's like that i can barely spend five minutes with so i can't imagine living with them so you can do that shit somewhere else
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
We buy the house next door. I think Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton did that at one point. They just had houses next door to each other and they would co-parent.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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They're both absolutely probably insane. Well, we could do that. Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Too flexing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
gonna fuck with her anyway we were just dancing relax but you're gonna make it a fucking thing and what'd you do you end up going home with it hell yeah i fucking do hell yeah hold on that was a long time ago you're not afraid that that guy's gonna find you and get into fights and do what fight you fight you oh be like kill you come with a gun to your fucking house do it wow yeah yeah um this is uh what's his handle shit yeah
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Oh, my God. God damn it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Is that true, Annie?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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Oh, shit. We found the first one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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I see what you're saying. Cause this guy reminds me, this guy shares my father's philosophies in many ways.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah. I think it is. You and I have the same dad. We might be related. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
But this is exactly my father. What you're saying about like, oh, come on, man. I called you, didn't I? Like, didn't I fucking show up last weekend? Didn't we talk this week? I think he's on to something. What more do you want? Like in my dad's mind, just showing up is a big deal or like calling a bitch back is a big deal. Like you're lucky I even graced you with my presence.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
But then on the other hand.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, same. A thousand, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah. And then I don't know if your dad does this, but does he get really flattered when they start to get crazy and obsessive? Because he'll fuck with these women enough that they'll start going crazy. Oh, for sure. But he's kind of like, she's so into me. Oh, my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
He loves it. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
no he didn't say that my dad would be like oh my god can you believe how much she's so into me oh god like please get off my dick yeah it's so annoying she showed up in the night and she had the knife in her hands yeah Or like if a woman would threaten suicide over him, he's very secretly flattered by it. Like, can you believe that? She's going to kill herself for me. That is so sad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
It's not sad. I hope she doesn't.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
That's exactly the thinking. That's exactly the thinking. Because the broken bitches that this guy is going to attract are totally on that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh, man. Finally, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Kimberly, we've been DMing. Listen, here's the deal, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Who?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh, for sure. This is a type of girl.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Of course. And so was Tiffany in my high school. There was a girl named Tiffany who could rip. Yeah, I know. It's weird. Tiffany with a K. You give her a Dr. Pepper and she could burp the alphabet. There's just a special girl. And one every thousand million that is this. And Kimberly, we've been DMing. I love her so much. This is such a talent. She went on America's Got Talent.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
And was like, I'm going to sing a Lady Gaga song. And then she starts singing. She's like, oh my God, excuse me. And then she started ripping and ripping and ripping. It's really funny. She's very funny. I love you, Kimberly. I asked her to do some videos, but then we lost touch because I went to England.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Hero. Oh, you know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
She's stunning. She's talented. What can't she do?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
She's out there being herself. I love it. Oh, Kimberly.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
You know, all these women out there are like, I'm myself. I'm just a hair of slaying and being myself. But Kimberly's really doing it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
You know what I'm saying?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Manuel.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, and they're not. They're just pretending to be like the hot girl. Kimberly 100% is herself. I love it. That's my kind of gal. Remember? Oh, my God. We played that. The pelt that you can make your golden retriever into a pelt. This person stuffed... Their chihuahua, it's been on their fireplace mantel since 2010.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
It's all creepy sleeping.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Why not?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Can I know exactly what happened to her?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, it's the same thing my mom would do. Like, foreigners mess up these sayings.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Got it. Got it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, it's because he bites them. Oh, it was hard to laugh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I don't like that clip, like that image of it dangling, that he's nibbled it and it's dangling, it's going to go in the jar.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
So she probably wanted to say, I'm only 21. And then she said, 21 in the burning. Because she thought it was funny in her mind. It's not an age reference. You know what I'm saying?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Wait, is that a deal-breaker if I start keeping... Fuck yes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
You know, in Indian culture, it's bad. I can't even look at this. You should not keep your nail clippings. My Indian stepdad used to burn his in the fireplace. Why? It's just believed it's bad luck to leave parts of your body laying around. It's like bad spirits will take it or something. I'm really going to get sick. You don't want to do that. You don't want to do that. That's so good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Well, I am. I think there's Marmite on there or Vegemite.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh, no, it's just butter. Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, this guy's fucking ripped, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, he is.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
For sure. Yeah. This guy's perfect.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
For what, my kids?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Hey, by the way, our sons found nunchucks at the toy store. And I was like, this is... That's the beginning of the end. I go, listen, if this hits my head or one of your heads or the cat's head, anybody's fucking head, I'm taking them away. So far, so good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
No, of course. Foreigners, but that...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Still, you can still fuck each other because they're swinging them over their heads and it's going to go down. They're going to fuck up our house with this fucking nine-shot.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
So jacked.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
She should cry now. That's bad. She definitely shouldn't have touched the hair. They shouldn't have touched the hair. That's a bad choice. Look how disappointed they are.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
What do you think is the story?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I don't know, but definitely they made a bad choice with this haircut.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Maybe.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
No, that's not it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
But they don't, you know, they think it sounds like something.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
What is this? Autumn. Just wait. That's Jasper.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Jasper the cat. That's Chloe, the dog. Okay. That's Tikani. Tikani.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Pekingese.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
But here's the problem. I'm still not sure what gender they were at the end of that haircut. That's why I keep saying they I don't know what we were affirming. I honestly do you know what they were trying to go for?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
They look like masculine women. I don't know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Just keep going with it, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
It's just nice animals.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
But what is he saying, most importantly?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
That's so stupid.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Sad. I don't like his whispering. Now I'm smelling her underwear. So the other wife, the woman left him. And now all he has is the panties.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
It's romantic, Tom. Do you do this when I leave?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Would you do this?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Why don't you ever get into my dirty pants?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I don't know. I wish you would. Right? Strike.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Boom. That's the Tappy Tappy. You didn't know the Tappy Tappy?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Of course it is.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh, I know. Yeah. He looks like a bottle of Tabasco.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Do you want to see the animals again?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Fuck off.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I hate you, fist pig.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
You already think she's ancient because you were seven.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
So it doesn't matter to a kid.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, I am. You have no scale. You're so old. You have no scale for that. Yeah. Well, happy Smurf Day.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
We're going to celebrate you tonight. We're just going to have dinner at the house, I think.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
No, they're going to come over, of course. I haven't bought you anything. That's fine. Because what do you buy the guy that has everything?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh, stop with this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Can I tell you what you've done with every gift that I've ever given you ever? Here, hand this lipstick to me. Pretend like I'm you. I'm you and it's your birthday.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh, thanks.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
That's what you do every time. Thanks. Put it away. I swear to God. And then I'll never see it again.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
You don't care about getting gifts. You're a gift giver.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I know what you want.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Blow me up, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
I get it. I get that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
You are so old. You should get a facelift this year. Adjust your lower lefts. Get those done.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Do we know why he lost his love of life?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Yeah, it's an existential crisis.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Right. And mind you, he's no spring chicken. He's well into his 30s. I'd venture almost 40.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
And he's been doing nothing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh, you don't want that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
We got to get into the show.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh, this is so cool. There's got to be other gentlemen out there that have lost.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Thank God. What is life without fisting your own asshole?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh my gosh, and I tell you, the best part is you go on their website, you take their quiz, and dependent upon how you sleep, are you a side sleeper?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Do you sleep on your back? Do you like soft, hard, whatever?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Oh, it's fantastic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Fist pigs.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
Fist pick. That's fantastic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
It's a very specific niche brand.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Too Hot For The Gays | Your Mom's House Ep. 806
It's working for him. But do you think porno stars like the women out there are like, my pussy's so battered? No, because your pussy's meant for it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And then I tried to get his approval too as his daughter for years. You ever think about that fucked up game? Wow, I'm so glad I didn't marry a guy like that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You know what I mean? Sure. I could have done that, Tommy. That could have been me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You're replaceable as shit, bitch. Oh, I like that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That would put, that would be like, it's too much. Too close to the bone.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
For sure. By the way, now that I've had colonoscopy clean, the day is now if we wanted to butt fuck because there's nothing in there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
There's nothing in there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
today. I just had the thing in my bee yesterday.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Aren't you not supposed to butt fuck after?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Do you think gay guys have cleaner bees than we do?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Like way more.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
For sure.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
wow, what am I missing out on? Then I guess the gay- You're missing out on a lot.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
The gay community, their asses are clean like that all the time.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
We'd love to.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And I think you're jealous and you're just showing off a little bit. You're peacocking a little. Does that sound familiar?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
This is spooky. My dad's a real N. I didn't realize that. I was raised by a strong black man. This is a thousand percent his game. Yeah. And so my dad is crazy. Wait, did you hear the wife? He's like, I told my wife.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
So he's married and he's doing all that. He's running game.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It's so good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I mean, look, it's definitely a lane of courtship. Like we've talked about this before with, what's his name? Tom. Blow me up, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
He was an overweight radio DJ in Los Angeles.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Tom Likas. And his whole thing too is like, dump that bitch. Don't spend a dime.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
it's fucking super cool it works with a certain type oh how soon after a colonoscopy can i bottom yeah really important can you read that my eyes can't sure sure uh literally immediately this actually might be the perfect time because you're as clean out as you can ever be but i was thinking yeah someone says you couldn't be more right listen we are trying this tonight we're trying
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Well, I'm a little worried now. No, no, no. Hold on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I haven't made a brown yet since my colonoscopy. Like how long before I make a brown? You got a while.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Guys, Mother's Day is just around the corner. Speaking of awesome fathers, fathers that are real ends. What about the moms that are real out there? Get them the perfect for my lipstick by Christina P. That's me. Go to ChristinaP.com. You can get all four for the absolutely perfect Mother's Day gift. Buy it now so that it gets there in time.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Like Michael Jackson?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Tell that bitch. I thank a bitch. I'm wearing Berlin today.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Mm-hmm. That's your farts. Mm-hmm.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
We've been talking about this for ages, why you get fartier on the flight. Plain farts. It's confirmed. Also, your farts do smell very sulfuric because you eat a lot of eggs. Yeah, they do. Your farts smell horrible. And because we've been together for 20 years now, I know your smells. Like, I know how they smell.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You have to sleep in a chamber, though. Didn't he sleep in a hyperbaric chamber?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Like I bet if we, okay, hear me out. If we did this as a game, I don't know if I would be open to it. If we had everybody fart into a film container and then I were to smell, like open it and smell it, I bet you I could identify my husband's fart.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah. Just on the smells alone.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Hell yeah. Tanner's up for it. I know Tanner's a guy. Niana's down. Yeah, Niana's down.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I'm good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
He just puts the thing on your nose.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Wow, that's nice. Wow, that's nice to know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
All night. Dude, did MJ just have a doctor all night monitoring him?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You know, I've been asking other friends that we have, married friends, whether or not their husband rips and blows ass in front of them. Not a lot do. Not a lot do. Honestly, like not a lot.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Well, I can tell you the Trestles don't blow ass in front of each other, Duncan and Aaron. I'm sure they'd be okay with me sharing that. They don't. I don't want to out people, but Shauna and Jimmy are very close. My best friend since forever. They rip ass in front of each other. Yeah, good. They've been together forever, too, like we have.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
But that's crazy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Real love. All the other couples that we're friends with, it doesn't happen. It's disrespect. It doesn't happen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Josh, do you fart in front of your lady?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That's so toxic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And the real question is, has he ever found those guys who like to fucking fuck good? Do they ever come over? Has he ever had it happen?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
There's got to be one guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It's been so many years. Somebody has to have taken up on this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It's wild because my brain was totally charred after it. Like I, yesterday I had brain zaps.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And if you haven't, can somebody please take him up?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
This campaign for years. For years.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I'd be so sad too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I'd be so bummed.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
But then again, his criterion's a little specific. He does like black guys who like to fucking fuck good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Just fuck. Are you out of jail?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
To any black guy. So all it is is a black guy who likes to fuck. And Latinos. He says Latinos. Oh, and Latinos. So black and Latino. There's a lot of those in New York City.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Predominantly. I mean, it's just...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You know, I remember. I can't believe you went there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Do you remember how you felt when you walked into his apartment for the first time?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, that's right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And then how did you get to talk to him eventually?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah. He pity fucked you. Yeah. It was pretty great. You got your roogie and you almost swallowed it there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
What happened to him? I'm sure he's in prison by now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah. You're really into these roogies.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You know what? You should sew a roogie pocket in your jackets from now on. That's how much you love those roogies. A dedicated roogie pocket.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Um, what flavor are you into right now? What are you doing?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And you got your whole crew into them now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Everybody's into the, I'm converting people too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Dang.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It is so much better for you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I'm glad to see RPC's back at it. And he's so horny. Isn't there an age where this decreases? Like, do you think he's at that point where the testosterone... This is probably decreased for him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
See, this is the crazy thing about really rich celebrities is you can find anybody to do anything as long as they don't have morals.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
We played the first video Josh wrote on the board here seven years ago.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah. Yeah. Maybe a decade of this. At least. Cole. Yeah. And he's still so horny. And he looks exactly the same. He looks great.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Officer Cumdump looks amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
He never ages. RPC never ages. He just looks great. He's so horny. He's so fired up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I wish I had an ounce of this fire. Officer Cumdump's a total pig. Total pig.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah, it looks great on him. And look at all the hats in the background.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Quite a dissertation.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
No. No, he usually keeps it just to the neighborhood. He talks about his stuff at Coney Island.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
But that's where you're wrong, Thomas.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
He's multifaceted, and I think what you're seeing is he's developed as a talent. He's gone creatively into different areas. What do you think all those hats are?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
No, it looks good on him. It looks good. Oh, wow. Wow. Jesus, look at that physique.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I'm sure he hooked up with George Foreman. He's hooked up with everybody. He knows everybody.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Uh-oh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
He likes some beefy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, there he is with his face mask. That's what chicks do. They like to show themselves in face masks. They're like, oh, my God, I'm so ugly right now. Yeah. Stop. Oh, there he is. He's always rubbing his chest, rubbing his tits. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
He's showing you that you can cum on his face. That's what he's using that for.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Can I ask you, though? When you're aroused, are you rubbing your chest like that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It's like a girl thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah, dude, that's a powerful way to sleep. Honestly, that's a little too much. You're just dead. You're basically dead all night. There he is. Yeah, he looks good. He looks cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah. Ooh. Yeah, it's a little gay. Well, there you go. Yeah, it's pretty gay. Oh, look at that black guy in his sweater. You like black guys in sweaters?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah. Fuck, dude. This is a hardcore feat.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And he likes orange cats, too, just like me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Dude, RPC. Wow, a lot of similarities. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I get him. I get him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That's a big tit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Fuck, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Nope. He's consistent. If nothing but consistent. Yeah. Happy spring.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
See, that's the thing is the, is the, is the, what's the word? Just the spread of interest. Like it's happy spring and then hardcore black guys and cats.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I don't want to paint him with one brush.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It's the same guy. Yeah. Oh, even nine lives weren't enough with you. Oh, I agree. Especially orange boys, they're so special. I know, I love the orange guys.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And like, who is he taking? Are these stock photos or are these people?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
He's just Googling hot black guys and then putting them up on his Instagram.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Mm-hmm.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, and then there's Snoopy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I know. Have you had sex with Robert Paul Champagne? Let us know. There's got to be somebody out there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I would like to ask you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Somebody fuck him. I have to pee really bad. Okay. Drink a lot of water.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I pissed, but I didn't piss water out of my butt at the same time.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah, it was so cute.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It was such a good movie. Super entertaining. They really served the children who play this game. Oh, yeah. And then the odd adult that was in the theater, where you're like, you shouldn't be in here without a kid.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
The Ederman. The Ederman. Jason Momoa was amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It was so funny. And Jack Black, fantastic job.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It was a really good movie. They did such a good job. They really did. Yeah, it was really fun. The boys loved it. We loved it. Look at him. I love the outfits they put on these people. Jason has, I love his pink jacket.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
But I do have something really relevant to the YMH world that I'd like to bring to the light.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
So funny. I didn't know he could do comedy. Oh, he was great.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah, it was a really good movie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah, take your kids to see this. I think if they're into the Minecraft.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It's a really good wig. It looks like it could be his hair.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It's rad. How big is he in real life?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Jesus.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Did he start as like an athlete before he was an actor? No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Shut up, really?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
So, by the way, colonoscopy, no biggie. I really thought it would be way worser than it was. Not a big deal. You drink this nasty shit that makes you basically waterfall dump.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And he was in Game of Thrones. He was banging the Khaleesi.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I mean, nobody's built like that guy. No. Holy mackerel.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, look at him as a baby.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah, that's wild, dude. What a career. What a life. What a fun movie, though. He did such a great job.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That was rad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
So I took the boys to see Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus, the musical here. And there was like adults watching it alone without kids, which is so weird. And then when we did the Paddington. That's even weirder. It gets even weirder. When we were in London, I took them to the Paddington Bear Experience.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
there were grownups there too without kids. I'm like, what? But then I realized they weren't just any grownups. They were low IQ adults. Okay. No, it's true. Okay. They were low IQ. I'm not saying they were retarded. I'm saying that they were on the cusp on the border. Like there was just above the line.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And like, cause there's, there was this one part of the Paddington bear experience where you go into the kitchen and
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
there's like you know the family kitchen and like the one adult that was alone this guy this low iq adult he was like picking up the fake phone yeah it was in that room there's like a fake phone and he was like like really laughing and pretending and like putting together the screws yeah that's definitely low iq that's not necessarily our word but low iq and i'm noticing that more now as an adult do you think there's low iq adults that are
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It's very good, by the way.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
For hours. Fine. It doesn't hurt.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Exactly. They're actually bright. Exactly.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Shut the fuck up. Yeah. With Downs? Yes. Which law school? I don't know. Like, something online or something?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
No, it's amazing. I didn't graduate from law school. Okay. So then to be diagnosed as having mental retardation in person must have an IQ below 70 to 75.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
No, I know. So like a low IQ adult, what would a low IQ adult be?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
80?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
But not necessarily Downs because this guy at Paddington Bear averages about 50.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
So wait a minute. Genius Downs people?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That's rad. That's rad. I bet my IQ is an exceptional Downs person.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That's amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I did not know that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I'm a low IQ adult. Dang. Dang. Yeah. Wow. That's amazing. Now the question is, do you want her to represent you?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Because I like to get up. I would sit down and try to watch something. It was an 80 something times. It was a lot. It was 180. And I'd feel a tug. But it's not painful. It's not like diarrhea where you're like, oh, bent over. No cramping. You just feel like a little like boop boop. And then you go sit down.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Maybe she represents other people with Down syndrome.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, that's good. Yeah. That lady's not wearing the right bra. I'll tell you this right now. 100% for sure. She's smarter than me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I dropped out of law school after two weeks. It was too hard. And if she's learning the same law I did.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
She's the one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I didn't pass the bar.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
No, I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That's amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You know, now that I don't, I have breast cancer, I always look at other people's tits a lot even more now. Yeah. Like, you see that woman behind her? She needs the right bra. That's not supportive at all. That's great. That tit looks terrible.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
She needs to put, right, Niana? Niana knows what I'm talking about. It's too droopy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Is he in an ambulance? Why is he strapped in?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
But you better sit down fast. There's no time to spare because you sit down and water. Eventually water comes out of your butthole. Here's the cool part. At 4 a.m., Are you ready? I'm ready. At 4 a.m., I was browning water, just clear water, which is what you're supposed to get. At one point, water was coming out of my b-hole and piss was coming out of my p-hole.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
A candle burner.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Breaking in with a sledgehammer. Not a good one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Damn, bro.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I love that he recognized him. Of course. Tony is now a huge celebrity.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Worker. Yeah. There's the same guy. Oh, there's the dude. There's the fan, yeah. That was awesome that he met him later.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That's so important. It was a great game. An hour later, he's out. I mean, here's the deal, too. He's like, he's just like, what? They just won't let me in, dude. Like, they took away my keys. Like, there's no other side to that story.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You're right. Between the Downs lawyer and Tony Johns. Who's... I rest my case.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah. I love that. It's full circle with the fan. Yeah. And he's drinking with that guy, dude. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Good for Tony. Look, I'm glad he got out at an hour. We were worried that it was going to escalate to him ending up in jail and I don't want him to go to prison. This is, I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Tough guy. He's cracking skulls.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Excuse me, you can't come in here. Why not? It's a private property.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Get out of here. You get out of here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
He's so cute. Yeah, not very intimidating.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Now, we've got the double pipe classic, which is a burp and a fart at the same time. What would you call, since you coined it, you're in the Urban Dictionary, when you brown water and pee at the same time?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Not very intimidating.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You know who you hire? A guy that looks like Jason Momoa.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And you're like, what the fuck, dude?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah. Yeah, this guy needs to hire an actor. That's what actors are for, guys. Come on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, I love it. Here we go. Let's go.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Can I tell you something? I can see our sons doing dumb shit like this in 10 years.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
This is what dumb boys do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
What do you think? He's trying to read. Oh, my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Wow. That guy's dead, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Thanks for sharing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You get the feeling. You have to feel that, dude. He's got no rhythm. You got to feel that. Fuck. Let's watch it again.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
He fucked up, homie. This looks like Europe somewhere.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It's Eastern Europe. If I'm betting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yes, Croatia, of course.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And he's drunk, yeah. Holy shit. Fuck, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
But he's drunk, so he's relaxed.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
He might be okay. I could see them doing this in Hungary, too. Yeah, of course. They just put like a fucking, what is that? A crane?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Wow.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Double stream magic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I hate horses. This is why I hate them. This is exactly why I hate horses.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah, dude. Fuck horses.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
For sure, dude. For sure. She's passing the bar exam right now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Fuck this horse. Can I say something? Normally I defend the animal, but in this case, I bet you that horse is a real fucking... She said it. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I don't think that's ever going to happen again in my life.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Because horse girls are super nice. Horse girls are all about that life. They love animals. So for this woman to be like, fuck you, horse. Yeah. This horse sucks, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Mm-hmm.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
that was a human cannonball thing like this is also definitely not in the states there's no way i think it is i'm gonna go for like south yeah dude because look at the backpack that's like a military american backpack where is it joshua all new burger no this is america this could be the south this is like fucking oh yeah riverside oh riverside california yeah what
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It is magic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Of course. That's Riverside. I'm sure he has health insurance. I'm sure they give it to him. How much do you think you get paid to shoot yourself out of a cannon at the Riverside County Fair?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
But you're not shitting shit. Just to clarify.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah. You do it for love of the game.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That's love. This guy's fucking paralyzed.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You're literally just you sit down and water comes out of your bum. It's wild.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Mm-hmm. I had no idea that there was an item called a spring jacket, meaning an item like a jacket you would just wear in the springtime. Because to me, that seems so wasteful. Like, why would I buy a jacket just for spring? I didn't even know people did that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
but that's what i thought it was so i thought there was a light jacket and then like a winter coat well there are but then a spring jacket are there summer jackets yeah i know there's a winter coat no there's summer jackets no i and i i'm learning that for the first time too yeah there's a summer a summer jacket summer jackets usually just you know they have less lining they breathe easier yeah did not know this that there was a spring jacket never in my world thought that there were jackets for different seasons
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
only a winter coat that's it there's only winter coats because that makes sense to me you should get a winter coat a spring can i tell you honestly a spring jacket sounds superfluous it sounds unnecessary like why can't you just put on a sweater it's like a waste of money to buy a spring jacket got it so when the guy told me this is a spring jacket i saw your brain just short circuit i watched it and you were like whoa whoa wait whoa whoa what what and he was like for spring
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I had no idea that. But to be fair, I think Nayana, didn't you not know that too? Or was it Heather? I had no idea. See?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
What did you call it? A double stream magic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Right. That's all you need to know. That's a rich person, like a real bougie thing. Fancy people stuff. Yes. I'd never heard of it because we never had this growing up. No way. A spring jacket. No, it's too bougie for me. Okay. Now I'm all about it though. I understand. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah. I advise everybody to get their colonoscopy just to experience a double stream magic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You knew this the whole time?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Why didn't you fucking tell me, dude?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Why don't you tell me? We're married for 20 years. You never tell me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It took you about 15 years to tell me it's not a sun visor. It's just a visor.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
The other day you let me walk around with food in my teeth. I was smiling like a donkey with lettuce in my teeth. You need to look out for me, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
None on these things.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Do you know you got to educate me on like civilized people? You know I don't know these things. Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
By the way, I told you this, but I thought this was funny to share. I'm relearning Hungarian.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah, because I don't know, dude. I just think it's whatever. It's time. Because I spoke Hungarian before I spoke English, and then I lost it because my parents, once we came to America, were like, oh, no, no, we're American. Fuck this language. You don't speak this anymore. So I'm relearning it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And it's fascinating because apparently all the things I thought were just exclusive to my family being an asshole, like I thought we were just assholes, it's cultural.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
We're all assholes. And that's what I'm learning from my Hungarian tutor. She's like, oh no, that's just, you're just being Hungarian. And I was like, that fucking blew my mind.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Okay. So first of all, so I was, I asked, we're learning basic things. Like how do you ask for a coffee? I would like coffee. Okay. And I go, well, what if I went to like a Starbucks and they say like, may I please have a coffee? And she's like, no, you don't, you don't say please. I'm like, what? No, there's no need to say please. Overly polite. Why would you say please? Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Guten Tag, willkommen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
They don't say please when you're ordering from another human being. Just say the thing. Even little things like, you know, hand me that book. I was like, can you say please? Like if I said it to my husband, sweetie, please hand me. She's like, that's too much. You don't need to say please. Just say hand me the fucking book.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
right and she said that like all the cursing is normal culture standard issue and um all the stuff that yes they curse like sailors everything is fuck buzz mag this fuck that your mother's this you did it and that's like so normal and we we'd say it in you know tutoring and also too
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yes, because it's totally cultural.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And even like, it's so fucked up because like these phrases I would hear all the time as a kid. Yeah. Like, oh, the dad should hand me a beer. Like my dad would tell me that all the time. Like, go get me a beer. Go get me a beer. Like I knew that right away.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
get me a beer yeah he didn't say please did he no please no legacy vish no just fucking do this do it so culturally we're dicks it's very but it's actually very liberating because i'm like i just thought i was kind of an asshole yeah like why am i so rude and because you've told me before you're like hey dude you need to camouflage your face people can tell if you don't like them can you
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You know, do you remember you told me that? See, looking out for you. You're looking out for me. Thank you. But I didn't realize it's just, she's like, yeah, you're Eastern European. That's what they are. And I'm like, oh, it's such a relief, you know?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You do not smile. And you don't laugh or smile unless there's like a real reason. And you're not friendly to people in public. Like if someone just starts talking to you, they're like, what the fuck?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Fuck off. Get out of my face.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Get out of here. No. Everybody said no. No. Yeah, we're very friendly people. The Americans, the English, Western Europe is way friendly. Not all of them.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Germans are kind of abrupt too. But Eastern European, 100%. You're encouraged to kind of be a dick.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It's totally, yeah, it's a total preventable cancer.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And I asked her, too. I was like, is that because of communism? Like, did the Russians crush our joy, like, prior to that? Were we, like, nice? She's like, no. It's Estonia-European. It's just with these.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
There's no please. You don't say please.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Great. What state did he get convicted in?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, come to Texas, son. We'll give you a medal of honor. You're in the wrong state, my man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Well, and also those kits that they say, oh, you just scrape your poo and then you nail it in. Those are not, it's too late. By the time it shows up there, you've already got cancer. You're fucked. You're dead. So just go. And by the way, the actual procedure, 20 minutes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That burp you made, did they get to hear that before we started rolling even?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Atta boy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I'm a huge fan.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah, I like him too. Yeah, he's in the wrong state.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah, move to Texas. You can do your thing here. Oh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It is. But it taught him discipline. It looks like he likes that regimented life. I hope he's successful. I mean, he's got a nice place. He takes good care of it. He takes care of himself.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Hell yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Hell yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That's awesome.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yeah, we like this guy. Didn't we try to add money to his commissary and everything?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I know, it is the best part.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You were. You always are when I get anesthesia. I know. You're so.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Great.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I think you should be absolved.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Of course. There should be open season on these predators. I agree. Open season.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You should be allowed to. You should be allowed to. Absolutely. No fucking way.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I've had one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I know you're jealous. That's why you've been ramping up the burps and the farts. And do you want me to talk about what you did yesterday?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I've touched my pee-pee. So many feelings. Oh, shit. That stops. That's what she does, right? After he pees? It's hard now. Yeah. That's the part that's fucked up is that they fuck after this, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I don't like this. You know what? And then he comes and he goes. All right. I don't like it. Also, I don't like that everybody has to be out with their sexual proclivities. I think having some shame and keeping it hidden is totally fine. Just not letting it out. Why does everyone have to be out with everything? There's some things that are shameful. Society frowns upon.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Keep that shit hidden, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Keep that shit hidden. Why does he have to be out? Why do I have to know what makes his dick hard in his diaper? I don't want to know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, my God. He wants to keep it a secret.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, God. It's crazy. Yeah, he did that in front of cameras.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I know. It's like Meghan Markle, like, Oh, I don't want everybody following us. And then she makes Netflix shows.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
It is insane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
God, if I were into anything like this, I would keep it such a secret.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
God, I'm ashamed of the normal stuff you and I do. You know what I mean?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Well, I mean, I don't share everything we do with people. It's weird. Oh, it's so gross.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You're so gross. So you're driving me to the colonoscopy. We're at a stoplight. And lately even really phlegmy, and I don't know if it's the air here in Austin, the allergies. And we're at a stoplight, and you're sneezing, and you're sneezing, and then you're doing this horking shit that you do as a dad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And also... Where's my passie? I'm glad these fools don't have kids. But once you do have kids, you're going to get sick of watching those movies right quick. You're going to get sick of cleaning up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
No, you can't do shit when you have kids.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Always.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That was mighty, mighty.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Uh-uh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Just from that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
What country is that? I don't know. I don't think that's America.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh no. They're in such turmoil right now. Those poor Turkish. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
This is why they shouldn't let people protest. I think you should do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, these poor people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Get the fuck out of there. You see the cops coming, leave, dude. Leave. Why are you going to hang out for this shit?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
No, run.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Run, fool. No way. These Turkish police, you think they give a fuck? Yeah. They don't give a fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Yeah, dude. Turkish prison.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Are you going to Anchorage?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
And then, and I see it in the corner of my eye, you're pushing the button for the window to roll down. And then you do like an old Chinese guy. You go, and then you hork. Hork the loogie out of the car window like an old man. It was so fucking disgusting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oakland, California. Phil, Aloe Snatcha.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Great job, man. So elaborate. They painted that on. Yeah, it's insane. I mean, that's not just a poster, you guys. That's painted on the bricks backstage. It's amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That's so funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
She's going to love it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, cool. You guys get to hear what I hear all the time.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That's awesome, James.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, what's everybody?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You get the glove.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
So fucking disgusting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
No, that's what a handkerchief is for. Gentlemen have handkerchiefs and you spit your spittle. By the way, I have to kiss your mouth. You know that? I kiss your mouth. And it makes me think too. And what I realized is you don't wash your hands nearly as much as I thought you did.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
We're going to talk about that a bit more today because you've been in special form. And I have a theory why, and I'm going to get into that. Oh, really? You have a theory? I do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Why don't I do before and after because we can get piss on your hands.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Why is it fine? It's urine on your hand.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Psyops.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I agree with that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You know what? As a fellow disgusting human, I'll take that. Because I do that too. When I piss and I wipe, I just wash my right hand. And then I don't even dry it off.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Do you think there's a reason to wash both hands, Josh? I don't think there's a reason.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
No, just go like this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
About what?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You're so vulgar and vile to your people that work with you too. You fucking fart on them. You fart around them. By the way too, you've been wrapping up your farts production.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Nobody likes when you fart. Nobody. Yeah. Nobody likes when you fart. Nobody.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
You know what he's been doing too in the house is when you fart, it's bad enough that you fart all the time, all the time, all the time. Now you lay on your back and you pull your legs in the air like the di-di and you're only wearing underwear. No shirt, nothing else, just your panties and then you rip them and you do it in front of our children.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
They do like it. But I told them, I said, don't do this in front of your lives. The kids like it. The staff loves it. That's fine. The staff does not like it. They do like it. Nobody likes it. All right, here we go. Nobody likes it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
She doesn't like it. She does too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Is Annie just freely farting now? Yes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I mean, that went from zero fart policy to all the time now. That is crazy. He totally changed his tune with that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Oh, you're just going to get into it right now? Why not? This leads into my theory as to why you've been ramping up the burps, the farts, the hawking loogies. I had a colonoscopy yesterday for the first time in my life.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Mommy, it's your mommy. She lives in my arms. It's your little mommy. Do you love your mommy? Sure you do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Don't compliment that bitch.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Hold the applause. And it's not for any reason. It was just a standard thing. So don't worry. And I think, and I'm just going to put this out here and see if this sounds like familiar. I think you're a little jellies because a, I got to watch all everything come out of me in a waterfall fashion. I got some cool farts and I got a propofol nap. Am I saying that right? Propofol.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Mm-hmm.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Can I tell you, though? Yeah. This is definitely the game my father has run with women his entire life. Yeah. And it works. It works. With a certain type of broad, this is their jam.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
They love it because they're like, maybe I can, I love you, maybe I can change you. How do I get approval? How do I get approval? How do I get the approval? I'm gay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That's what my dad does.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
That's exactly what my dad would say.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Yep.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
My dad does this a thousand percent to the hoes. This is exactly how he got wet.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
Numbers.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
I mean, I've seen him do it. Like I've seen him be like, come on, baby. I don't, I don't do this. Like he. He'll just tell them straight up, nope, nope, nope. But they come back. You're right. They want more.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805
They do. My father has, I think. Yeah. But then they get bored and restless because real intimacy is not on the table. They're not capable. And if there's a bump in the road, forget it. We're done. It's too much work. You're boring. It's too much work. It's either super boring or it's too much work and I don't want to do it. There's no long term. Wow. That's horrible. Whoa.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's been a long transformation. Without you, our genes are low and loose.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
If somebody goes, I played in college, they're saying, right. It's like, I got you. Gotcha, gotcha.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No, not once. That was it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That was your mission.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Wow. It was such a fun day. It was such a fun day. You don't swim, though, right? Right in studio. To try it clear.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Go ahead, go ahead.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You don't go in the ocean, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Let's get it. Ryan, you are the Ryan that everyone's talking about. So do you want to comment on anything that's been being said here? I'm sitting there in my office listening to everything. Can we hear him?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Which one? Oh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
By the way, one of the things we'll get to is that, and he's a huge liar. Go ahead, Ryan. Huge. Can be.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But wait a minute. Here's the thing, though. We can get into the semantics of this. Are you saying that he was like, I played basketball when I was in college or I played college ball?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Even my head's about to explode. If you win a rematch.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It was for hair.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yes, you got scared. Incorrect.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You don't remember saying that you wanted this hair and that the hair thing was all set up?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We got to review the tape. Because I don't remember the conversation going that way. I remember asking, what do you want? And he goes, I'd like to have hair.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I don't remember that. And I remember setting up all the hair stuff, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We were going to send you to Turkey and everything.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I think the reason that that was shot down was that even though you won, yes, you did, the idea that a boss... your employer could take $10,000 if you had lost did feel like it's like an abuse to do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We've had your Invisalign.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Invisalign, which I would say of the last 15 years, the most traumatic thing that happened to either of us was Invisalign. To anybody in this family. Yeah, especially when they came off. I really hated that a lot. It hurt so bad. You had some other shit, but Invisalign is really what I think this sticks with us.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You did say it seemed fair.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I'll put it on the table.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What about swimming? Hold on. What about swimming? Right before Ryan came in, you said.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh. What about laps, swimming laps? Annie, you said it right before you came in that you would swim laps. You would learn to swim and swim laps. Yeah, no problem.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I'm excited to kick off my UK and Ireland tour this weekend. I'll be in Dublin this Saturday, March 15 at 3 Arena. Belfast for two shows at Waterfront Hall on March 16. First show is sold out. We added a second show. Manchester at AO Arena March 19. London at OVO Arena Wembley March 20. Glasgow at OVO Hydro March 21st. Nottingham at Motor Point Arena, March 22nd.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Cardiff at Utilita Arena, March 23rd. Go get your tickets at tomseguro.com slash tour. I'll see you there, mate.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
They say money can't buy you happiness. That might be true. But money sure can make you feel a lot of other things like stressed, guilty, overwhelmed. That's because when you're not in control of your money, your money can control you. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Acorns is a financial wellness app that helps you take control of your money with simple tools that make it easy to start saving and investing for your future. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that matches you and your money goals. You don't need to be rich.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Acorns lets you get started with the spare money you've got right now, even if all you've got is spare change. I love Acorns because of that very idea that you don't need to start as a millionaire to start being smart about your finances. Acorns makes that easy. Ready to take control of your money?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, so we're going to discuss some of those things. And plus, you know, there's, you know, other, you know, I'm saying, you know, 19 virus. There's a bunch of things that we can talk about.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Sign up now and join the over 13 million all-time customers who have already saved and invested over $22 billion with Acorns. Head to acorns.com slash YMH or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid non-client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Tier 1 compensation provided. Investing involves risk.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
If that first bag isn't quite right, no problem. Trade will replace it for free until they nail it. I have my trade coffee in this very studio and I love it. It's exactly my favorite taste blend. The strength, they got it just right. Right now, Trade is exclusively offering our listeners 40% off your first order at drinktrade.com slash YMH.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's drinktrade, T-R-A-D-E dot com slash YMH for 40% off your first order. Drinktrade.com slash YMH. Okay. Ryan, do you swim?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know what I'm saying?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Real quick to let everybody know in two days. It is March 7th, and that means YMH Live 10 is coming. It is back. YMH Live is back, 7.30 p.m. Central Time. It's our biggest one yet. We're going to tell you some of the amazing details in a moment, but we have the great Dan Soder, one of the funniest comedians working today, is joining us live in studio.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I swam as a kid. I'm pretty good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
will you swim laps for 10 G's and neither of you has to give it up I'll give it up however I would if I don't have to pay for the coach this time I pay thousands of dollars for that shit I'll pay for the swimming coach too wow you'll pay for the swimming coach I'll pay for a swimming coach and I'll put the 10 grand up and I'll give it to whomever wins and I won't have a swimming coach
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This is amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But you don't know how to swim.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We will continue this. Let's move to the next thing here because this is nothing gives me more joy besides watching that take place than upsetting and horrifying someone. Stavros came on. Yes. This was episode 7-11. And we showed him Norm's famous poutine. And it was one of my favorite things I've ever seen. This was so great. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This guy's cocking a little fucking thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He paces through the cage.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Which, it's in his urethra, so I don't know how he's... Oh, fuck.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Of course, there are brand new original sketches and things that we've shot. We're giving away $10,000. You can go to YMHstudios.com for more information there. Grab your ticket, and we will announce the winner live on the show right before the heavy segment. And don't miss the exclusive VIP post show with the great cockroach, Josh Potter.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That was just... God, it's stressing me out to re-watch that. I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's also getting me primed for YMH Live. I just realized we're going to get more treats like this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Did you get the zing of excitement? Yes. Yeah, I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Because every time that heavy segment starts, I'm like, ooh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
These clips get me so jazzed.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I might get sick here in a second.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's why I think you and I are team jeans. May I take this moment to just promote my lipsticks? This is a perfect moment. Go ahead, guys. Buy your lipsticks at ChristinaP.com. Today I'm wearing Madison, which is just like a light mauve sensation. And then I have Atomic Red, The Perfect Red, and Berlin. ChristinaP.com. Buy all four at the same time for your lady or for your gentleman.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Gentleman that wears lipstick. By the way, I'm working on a new piece of art.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's really good. Look at that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's not buying her art.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No, it's taken on a life of its own. People are now sending us art based on my art, like famous art. Yeah, that's right. It's great.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Anyway, that was an amazing time with Stavros.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It was incredible. Soon after that, by the way, it finally happened. It was something that we were all anticipating. We didn't know if it would ever happen, and that's when Garth Brooks blocked me, finally, on Instagram. You, by the way, the great fans, the listeners, and viewers of this program, are the ones who got Garth to eventually go private on his...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He restricted all comments at some point because you literally took over all of his social media. Destroyed it. Destroyed it. Everywhere that it exists. Destroyed it. You destroyed it. It was incredible that it happened, but... It started with him blocking certain people, restricting comments. I got a few times where I had comments in there and, you know, they would get liked and commented on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And then it just it all went to shit. He just refused to allow anybody in. He eventually it happened on Instagram. Then you guys went over, took over his Facebook, his Twitter. He basically realized there was nowhere safe. And so that was really exciting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's breaking down the walls between us.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's breaking down the walls between you and me. And then he thought better of it. In episode 725, something which also is appropriate for this week, which is that we had Dan Soder on. Dan Soder is not just an incredible comedian, and he's super talented in many regards. He also does what many people think is the best impression of Dave Chappelle. Yes. He can actually, he really sounds like him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yes. And he just, he sounds like him, and he also has the, like, not just the cadence down, but he'll speak the way, like, things he would say. It's pretty fucking impressive. That's really cool. What's the, I haven't heard you do it, but you do a good Chappelle?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So that's all happening March 7th right here, YMHstudios.com.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
These sketches, by the way, that we're doing for this YMH Live are, I think, the best we've ever done.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It is.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's so good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I did. Um, when I did, uh,
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
the what was it the after yeah the after party of the brady roast we went up to the lounge inside and we're in um what's it called what's the venue there the which one were you at the uh the forum we're in the forum yeah so we're at the forum club i guess and it's just it's the party and i see dave and he he's like he's like hey man you know let me get a cigarette i give it to him and i was like uh same kind of thing i was like we can smoke it here he was like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's other level. I mean, we should just say who's going to be appearing. Dare we? Yeah, I think it's worth saying that we brought Tony John to town.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So I was like, yeah, cool. So I light one up with him. And then the bartender's like, you can't smoke here. And I was like, okay. And I just turned to Dave. I was like, they said we can't smoke here. And he was like, So I was like, I'll put this out when you put it out. He was like, I'll put it out when it's done. I was like, okay, cool. I was like, great. I smoked.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I like chuffed on that thing because I kind of felt bad because I was like, please. And then I just waited until he was done smoking.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, because there is a level of celebrity. Like you're going to tell Dave Chappelle.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's the top tier level.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You're going to tell Dave. It's like you're going to tell Tom Cruise to put the cigarette out. Well, they kind of do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's the thing is the guy didn't tell Dave. He told me.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's like, you can't smoke here. And I was like.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But that's why he's like, fuck, I don't give a shit. He's right there. Wow. And also watching that Dan Soder clip makes you realize like when you meet your idol, when you meet your hero, there is nothing cool to say. You cannot talk about how much you love them because it's not going to work. It's never going to work.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You have to talk about anything else except the shit that they've done as like an artist or whatever. You can't. You just can't. You can't dork out on them.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, but the cool thing is, though, that he actually has a great, he still has a great memory of it. Of course. Because you could have, I met my hero, and it's a fucking disaster, and that wasn't that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Woo! Woo!
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's why I don't want to meet Robert Smith from The Cure.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But if you wanted to dress like Robert Smith.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So he came to town.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, stop. I can't believe you would even want to see something like that. I mean, hey, he doesn't look good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He does. He's still beautiful.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He came to Austin. He did. And did a sketch with us.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This is how women are different, though.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I love Robert.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
is that you guys can still find someone attractive yeah even if it's not looking that great yeah you know why we have souls and we're not superficial i know you guys are the worst men are the worst yeah we are like i don't give a about her soul here's the worst what's up with that tits yeah let me leave this family and go bang a 20 year old yoga instructor see he's so hot he's cute
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I love him. Forever. Forever. Okay. Love Robert Smith. That's what you want. Yep. Dude, he's so cool, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I get that he's cool. Yeah, he is cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's rad. But I mean, I think he's a solid citizen, too. Is he wearing the perfect red? Of course he is. It was based on Robert Smith's red. The perfect red. I should send him some. Do you like his voice? Love his voice. Of course. What are you talking about? Yeah. Yeah, he's Robert Smith. He's like the father of all this. I love him. I love him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He did. He came to town. And we also have. I'm just appreciating my cock and my balls. The great Will Blunderfeld. And he's a close friend. Yep.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's definitely wearing a lot of lipstick there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. Eyeliner. Adorable.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Of course. You want to see me in eyeliner?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Do I? Oh, for fuck's sake. I'd love to. Black eyeliner.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Let's move on. The next episode that I think is notable. Our former producer Nadav passed away. That was super sad. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He was, I think, eating a dreidel. And then he just fell down.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Mm-hmm.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Rest in peace, Nadav.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I know. I miss him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Look at those tits I used to have.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. I was at my house and I was like, why do I feel sad? This is weird. And I was really sad to lose Nadab. You've been in our lives like, yeah, since 2016, since the birth of our first child. But you were like our first retarded son.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We do have a lot of great memories of you. And we've actually put together a little video.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Wow.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I don't want to permanently hurt you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Life partner.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You got a nice haircut.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Life coach.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I threatened to show you somebody getting very severely hurt.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The fun bit. You need some up dog. What's up, dog? Mosh, what's up with you, dog?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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You want to kill him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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You deserve it all. The kicks, the screams, the blood.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Look, and he's having such a good time. Look how happy you made him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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That's what he says after he eats his cum, right? I'm shameless, I'm fearless, I'm doubtless.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That was pretty good. There he is. So many great moments with Nadav. So many good ones. My favorite part, I have two favorite memories about Nadav. Number one, that his favorite movie, like the movie he watches over and over, is Drumline.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, and I watched it just to see what all the big stink is.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's not very good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's not a good movie. And I love Nick Cannon. I like the idea. It's stupid. Number two, remember when we were in the Reseda? It was during COVID. And it was hard to come by getting the vaccine. And you had to be a certain weight to be considered morbidly obese to get the vaccine early. And he was like, I'm working on my vaccine weight. I'm going to become morbidly obese to get the vaccine.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That is one of the times he says that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Remember that? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I'm in a gain phase right now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That made me laugh so much. How are you doing? How's your weight? He's like, I'm almost there. God bless him. Rest in peace.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Rest in peace, Nadav. Another one that was fantastic, and I ended up meeting her, was remember the coffee girl? Of course.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Sweetest.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh my God. That was also in the last hundred where she came in here because we had read comments where people were, that's where hate from.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Let's just say we had a workshop with him. It's incredible. And on top of that, on top of all that, we have the one and only...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
hate from Australia hate from all these places in the world that was just like unbelievable that we and then I actually she came to Austin she came in studio I went to the gym with her she was really really sweet and she's in Toronto um she has her her coffee business but that was um the sweetest yeah was it Caitlin Caitlin she's so sweet and her coffee's fantastic and she just made like sincere videos like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This is how I start my day. People were like, I hate you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Waking up. Yeah. Just so sweet. So innocent.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It was really crazy, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Why Mix Live is so exciting. This is our first one in a while.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So this is like that vlog cadence that also people wanted to die with. Yeah. Please delete your account. He would say such mean shit to her, but she ended up being, of course, like the sweetest person.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The nicest. Probably one of the sweetest guests we've ever had. Hate from Australia. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That was so funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
She was delightful.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We had a run of some incredible guests that came in. Jesse Lee Peterson came in.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Then Gene Simmons. Yes. And then Will Blunderfelt.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
One of the coolest guys.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So many gets this year.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, my God. It was just like.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Just like the gays.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Just like the gays.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
How much fun was Gene Simmons, too? I mean, he really came.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
If you love your penis, your self-esteem goes up. I mean, Will.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's also true.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Will change my life. Like getting to meet him in person and feel his aura and to feel his love and presence. I just think he's such a special human being. He is a special human being. He's really amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Charo.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Then... Shortly thereafter that, ICP came on. Now, one of the building blocks, the foundations of this show, if you don't know, is... You know what I'm saying?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And we have always done... You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Supercuts, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And these guys came in, or not these guys, sorry, at this time, wasn't it just the, was it both?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No, it was both. Shaggy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's right, because the first time it was just one. Yeah. Well, they came in and we got to do, after their appearance, maybe the super cut of super cuts.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Which was a, you know what I'm saying, super cut from these guys that was just unbelievable. They dropped so many, you know what I'm saying, that we had to...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
spend hours going through this and putting together, by the way, this super cut of, you know, I'm saying doesn't even have all the, you know, I'm saying they had to like whittle it down just to get the proper, you know, I'm saying super cut going. So we have that for you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Unbelievable.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Wow.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That was, yeah, that was really.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know what I'm saying? Supercuts of, you know what I'm saying? Supercuts.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's the best. I don't think you can make another one after that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No, that episode was explosive. We also got that supercut, but don't forget, that's where we learned that going airtight is gay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It is, according to some. To some. Yeah, I mean, that's, you know, airtight really was a thing that we really wanted to dig deep in. We've had conversations with people who had had threesomes, and we thought, what more could you want? And it turns out one more is what you want sometimes. And so some women opt for every hole to be plugged.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
a crazy short film that we made. It's not even a sketch. It's a short film. It's the biggest one we've ever done, and we're super excited.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And through that conversation, it led to us meeting Airtight Abby. And Abby called into the show and she gave explicit details about her exploits. And she was a very adventurous person.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Was Abby the one where she went and she had sex with all the black guys?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's the one. On the team? Yeah. That is the one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That was wild.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Then she told another story that kind of made us all sad. But yeah, I think she met a guy at the club and she took him back to the...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
or went back to his place and then eventually people started walking out of their of the apartment and they're like can i get in on this she was sure but airtight abby was was yeah it was really it was such a cool story because you and i couldn't believe that people did it in real life yeah because it sounded it sounds like such you know adult film like yeah like just a fantasy you know not real who gets to do that she was like no i did it i did it this generation boy they get it all they
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
get it all airtight abby airtight really really sweet girl um i had the opportunity to meet her and um you did you don't remember that no oh yeah i didn't yeah you didn't go airtight on her no i didn't i didn't know yeah there was an option to meet her somewhere and i did it yeah you're like no thanks no i i believe you said no thanks
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I was like, don't you meet airtight Abby.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, that's how that went.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
How dare you? Just a jealous lady.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No. I'm sure she's a sweetheart, by the way.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But the best moment with these two, the ICP guys are the best. Yeah, I was like, you guys don't go airtight with each other? And he's like, what? Hell no, that's gay. Such a good moment.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
There's so many crazy things that happen, obviously, over these years. But another thing... We had our suspicions, but we learned that our very own technical director, Eni, is a really high-level sociopath. I don't know if I'd describe it like that. Fartgate 2024 was such a revelation. I've never seen...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And of course, I always have to remind people, and I'm happy to do it. A lot of people worry because it's called YMH Live. They're like, what if I can't be there live? You can still watch the show after the original live version. If you get a ticket, you could watch it Saturday, Sunday, the next week. It's viewable for you anytime.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Like the episodes of the first 48 that I've seen all made more sense when he was pressed with a crime because he was so believable. It was just insane. And it turned out he was just a huge fucking liar.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's a liar. And he's a good liar. Good one. Because I was siding with him for years. I've been on any side. Not anymore, bro. That's not nice. Fool me once. I did nothing. I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I was like, man, what does Chad have against him? Like, it was just crazy to me. And what Chad had against him is that, and he's a fucking liar.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's a liar. And Chad was right. Chad was just being an honest, good boy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And the whole staff was like, yeah. And he was like, man, these motherfuckers are all lying.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. Do you realize we have him on tape farting and then he has the audacity to deny it to his bosses and then to millions of people who watch this program. That is other level sociopathy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Which is exactly why you're employee of the month.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And he also, he did this crazy reveal.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You belong here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Where like, remember the video played? And I thought we were going to.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. Exonerate him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yes. And it was just like, ha ha, I got you guys.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This guy is nuts.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's out of his fucking mind.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I don't know who made that shit, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's ridiculous. Okay, we don't believe you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Didn't he bring it up at the Christmas party, Tom?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Denying it to your face right now?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's not that good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Is this when we first saw this video? Is that what this is?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The surveillance?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The surveillance or his reveal? This is his reveal. Okay. Okay. Yeah, let's see. I forgot some of it, actually.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, blocked it out. Traumatic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's just if you want to be there live as it happens, it's going to be 7.30 p.m. Central on March 7th.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Hey, you're talking over the video, man. Is that real?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What happened there, Eni?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know what?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Okay, but you did hear yourself in there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's amazing. It's a maze. It's a maze.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, but Your Honor, I feel like because we didn't see the conversation, and he has a good point, anybody can go... He could just play a fart. Yeah, and then he could have had them be actors and create a moment.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Maybe he wrote the script and then they recorded it over a black screen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You ready to start the show? Of course. All right, here you go.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But that wasn't Cougar. If you watch this and you don't immediately have more respect for what law enforcement goes through. They have to deal with this shit all the time. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Like he lies. Professionals. No, no, I know. That's part of being a good criminal is lying. And postscript to this whole thing. Now, any apparently just farts with reckless abandon.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
All the time. Yeah. Do you even take credit for the farts now?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We had it on tape. Get me on live.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's compulsive. Yeah. He cannot help himself with the lies. You can't help yourself, can you, you sicko? fart gate was um it was fart gate and then the lying about what the bet was on the last thing we talked about like oh he said it was 10 or any amount of money oh then this is him right here just going yeah like where is that that ain't my house that ain't what my house looks like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Wow.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's like, the level of disrespect, man. What's this accent? Hey, yo.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Hey, yo.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's like, hey, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Hey, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We disrespect brother like that. Shit ain't nice. This is crazy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
this reminds that right there that yeah what we just saw yeah if that doesn't remind you of presumed innocent the incredible debut of edward norton as an actor with richard gear where he's accused of killing that priest and then you and he's like he's all you know yeah the whole movie and at the end he's like i convinced them all didn't i and you're like oh my god it was exactly like that give him his oscar
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Give him his Oscar or just sentence him to 25 years in prison because that's a fucking career criminal right there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What is he doing in his off time? Don't you think if he's lying this much to his employers?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's probably doing foot job review videos. I don't know. It's just crazy. Crazy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yep. Typical. Typical. Typical. Typical what? Typical any. Lies.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, shit. Hey, I stood up for you. You saw it on tape.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You were part of the bit?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, eventually, yeah. He admitted it. Sorry, I forgot to tell you that part.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, what up now, bro?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Because I was like, Annie, they're totally, because this is off camera. I was like, Annie, they're totally ganging up on you. Is this true? Like, I was so doe-eyed, and I came up to him, and he was like, yeah, farted. And I was like, what? And I was shattered. Right? Do you remember that day? I was fucking shattered.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You were smiling. I was shattered. I was heartbroken. And then I was like, let's keep fucking with Tom now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You just remembered right now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Just like that time when you left town and I put a hole in the wall to get the hamster out of the wall that was behind you at dinner. It's two sneaky things I did this year to you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And then there's Chris Larson's video came in.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Cheers. He's the only Pepsi guy here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. Crazy. Nobody likes Pepsi except for Chris. It's so funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He loves Pepsi.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You got free will. You can do that. Those are big gulps, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, but I would see people like him in radiation. They don't hold up very well after treatment for these things. You don't want to start your life that way.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's crazy. You know, we've been sharing those haircut things.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh my gosh, you and I have been passing each other these videos, these awful haircut videos.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know Andy Milonakis, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yes, of course.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So he's been around forever. He still looks 13 or whatever. He's done a lot of funny shit, but I saw this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's in Italy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So wait, so he's in Italy, clearly walks into a place, tells him what he wants. Hold on.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And he thought it was a lady.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Get it, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Sucks so bad. Oh my god. That's all you can do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Mom Segura.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That made me laugh. That's the worst haircut. Fuck. That's the worst. That's so bad. It's terrible. It's the sad lady shut it down fucking haircut. It's the shut it down menopause cut. This is why I stick with the same hairdresser, Alan Martinez. Shout out for the last fucking 20 some years. You know, one time when I was in England, I couldn't see Alan. And I went in to get a haircut.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And I was like, just like a bob. Like, I've always had a bob. Just give me like a shorter bob, okay? Yeah. This fucking cunt rag.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
cut my hair like meow like the like so like a mushroom meow like this fucking short the thing you don't realize until you see it horrible how much hair informs it's everything like this looks like a sad lady right like that's what he looks like now he didn't know that was a boy it's really crazy he didn't know that was like a gentleman no he didn't he had no idea he gave him the prettiest old lady bellissima you are sexy still don't let anybody tell you you are not
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But also very rare that they straighten out curly hair unless you say, I want straight hair. He's naturally wavy. Yeah. They should have cut the hair wavy. That's crazy. Okay. God, that's so upsetting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You remember a few weeks ago we were all, the whole world was really taken by this, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
uh hitler hell and the nazis i i really don't think that he was uh because i honestly think that hitler was a good guy based upon my own research not my own it's always your own research i didn't fucking listen to it so he's yeah we were all like this is the last we're gonna see of bryce mitchell it's not thank god he is out there and uh Keep going, Bryce.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The best thing is that this begins with what you believe is addressing this video, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
A helicopter can't fly around that far. I don't understand what this fucking hillbilly is saying.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Easy money given for jobs. I would do that for cash. That's easy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's cool that his little kid gets to hear this stuff, too. What a lucky baby.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's going to get that firsthand education.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know, you've got to do your own research, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's always good when somebody leads with that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Your own research.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Have you done your own research?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Like what? Just internet stuff? Like weird articles?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Nothing about life on Earth makes me think that it's round or rotating.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Why are they so against the Earth being round? What is that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Because they told us that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The scientists? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Just trying to get us to fucking believe stupid shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Is it anti-Christian or something? The Earth being round?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He said the devil at one point.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, so Satan's in charge of the roundness of things, of the earth. Is that what it is? Maybe. That's so weird. I don't know why they don't.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's so content though. That's the thing about being dumb.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That is like, it's really, I think, satisfying.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's enviable.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You believe your own dumb thoughts and then you're so pleased with yourself.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I thought about that for my whole life.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
If I could just be a little dumber, how much happier I'd be.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You. Or maybe a. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. Yep.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He's not the brightest guy, but yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, and it says the earth is a circle. Isaiah 40, verse 22, whatever. Made with a compass. Yeah. Laid upon a face which is bounded as it ends. It does not move and is covered by a dome. So this is like the biblical conception of cosmology, whatever. It's silly, though. This is...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So easy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
that's my own research i hate everything do your own research do your own research try your own diagrams dummy do your own research that's that's kind of like the that's usually like the first thing that people who um are really dumb
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, they do their own research. I do my own research. What are you talking about? Anyway, I can't. I can't, Tom. Can we switch topics here for a moment?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I think it is Stevie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Do your own research. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He also had this. This is another one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Nobody.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Maneuverability. It's crazy too when someone this dumb is this good at fighting because he can kick 99% of people's asses on earth. So it's like you could argue with like the dumbest fucking guy you've ever met and then he could just kill you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. Yeah. But that's because God only gives you one or two talents tops. You can't be all things. You got to choose one or two lanes and just stay in your lane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You shouldn't be a podcaster if you're this stupid. You really can't.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, I'm glad that he's putting this out there. For us, yes. I feel like this is going to be a real well of information.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
If he continues, Pike.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I think he's going to.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
If he gets sponsors.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The engagement is going to be, it has to be crazy for him. Sure. Of course, it's not that positive, but yeah. You do see, though, that a lot of people are on board with him. I know. There are people who are like, fuck yeah, people trying to tell you that Earth rotates. Fucking bullshit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, good for him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Stop, drop, and roll. What if the car rolls? Is he driving like the Jeep with no doors? I don't fucking know. Is that what he's thinking about? I don't know. You got to tuck and roll. But, oh, I wanted to get to this so we don't run out of time. Yeah. Because it is a timely topic, and I wanted to go there because the mom world... is ablaze with the new Ilaria Hillary Baldwin.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
My favorite thing is a young person going, like, this is some things I'll put out. Like, this is your digital footprint.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Alec Baldwin show.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Alec Baldwin show on TLC. Now, I haven't watched a full episode, but I thought we could go through some of the footage. I mean, look how handsome he was when they started together.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Dating, yeah. A while ago, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Seven.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
How many nannies?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, a little Latin there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Together.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Together.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Forever.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We're solid and we're here, pero together.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Somos juntos.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He looks like hot dog shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, I mean, he doesn't look the same. He's also, how old is Alec Baldwin? He's got to be in his 60s, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No pun intended. Like, yeah, I got a couple foot jobs recently. And you just do an online review of them for people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
At least. But he was, can I tell you about the great tragedy? He's 66. He's 66 years old. I know, but the great tragedy is how hot he was. I mean, I had such a crush on him as a teenage girl. He's a movie star. The Marrying Man, I think. Look him up in that movie, The Marrying Man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Look at Alec Baldwin, 1989, 1990.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh my God. Yeah, dude. Him with Kim Basinger, Basinger, the two of them were together.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
God damn, couldn't there be a more attractive couple?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, he's a very good looking guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Stunning.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He played Jack Ryan. Right. With his scarf. This is so cute.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I know. All the Baldwins are hot.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Good looking guys, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And then I think having seven kids on top of this accident thing must have just aged him in dog years.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And he's really good, by the way. Not just a good looking guy. He's a really good actor. Yeah. He's done, oh, of course, Beetlejuice.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Beetlejuice. My favorite. And he's got a great voice, that gravel voice. Oh, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, because is the community so vast and various that they need a reviewer? It's not like buying a car.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He narrates on that Wes Anderson, the Tenenbaums. Look at that chest. Hairy chest. Oof. That's a man right there. Yeah, dog.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I'm looking right underneath it. It says Alec Baldwin mistaken as a hobo. You know what that is? That's life. That's how life actually goes. There's a certain link that says hottie Alec, and this one says mistaken as a hobo.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Mistaken as a hobo. Yeah, he's got it rough. There he is with Kim Basinger in the 80s. Wow. What a beautiful couple.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You can't judge the guy for his looks at 66. I can.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
All right. I can.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I mean, I know, but he's 66.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I just think it's bad life decisions. I think that having seven children would age anybody. Well, of course it would. It's not cool. It's too many kids.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I don't know why you keep having that many kids.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's too many.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I know, it's insane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And by the way, how many nannies do they have? Give me a fucking break that it's just the two of them. The 66-year-old dad and her. What can a 66-year-old dad contribute? He can't do shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. He looks like he's fucking 19. I know. He's going to go in for an interview at some point where he'll be like, are you the foot job review guy?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's basically grandpa.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Of course. It's too much. Yeah. yeah he came to play so my friend my mom friend we're all gonna nap that's what's gonna happen in that oh my god alex dreadful reality show is a new low for tv fucking a man yeah but that you know but they they don't like the good stuff we do like my husband is not gay they probably low reviewed that show too i'm ssa They don't know what they're talking about.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Don't listen to these motherfuckers. So anyway, my mom friends were texting me. Would you like to hear their review?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Let me show you what my friend fucking... What are the moms saying out there? In the mom world... Okay, because we keep up on the Ilaria. I watched it yesterday. It's on Max. You have to watch. There are babies crawling up on tables, kids running around screaming. It's a madhouse. It's a madhouse. It's got to be.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And then my other mom friend was saying there's this part of the episode where he's complaining to Ilaria that... she's the one in charge of getting the kids going. She's in control of the kids. And he's like, I used to have a say in how the kids were. I don't have a say anymore. And she's like, well, yeah, I'm the mom. And I fucking agree. It's like, go work, go make the money.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Let me deal with the kids. Because dads are not wired for that shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I agree.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What meds does Juju need to take it?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, right. Whatever you say.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What size are Juju's pants? 16. You don't know shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And that's just most dads. It's just our generation, especially Alec Baldwin's generation. He don't know shit about the kids.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Let him go to work.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And let the fake Latin lady run the house.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Or even a lady. Yeah. Maybe a dating person down the road is like, what the fuck?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Women are better at that stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I agree. I agree.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Guys, this is not for men.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Not for straight guys. That's the company. You run that company.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's right. I think the traditional way is fine. Unless you have some fucking beta cuck husband. He doesn't want all that to say.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Nobody fucks. Men don't want to do it. No. He doesn't want to raise the kids.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
People had asked, by the way, they wanted to know the update for the woman hitting my car.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Oh, my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And I just wanted to tell you, without getting into too much detail, it's being taken care of. Okay? Stupid bitch. And by that, I don't mean that I'm letting it go. I'm not letting it go, and that's how it's being taken care of. Don't you dare.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So what is this, so we did make some, I don't know if you want to say it or not, but we made a little bit of progress in your investigation of Brigitte Macron. And do you want to say that we reached out?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Why did you feel compelled to post this?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You say it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, we reached out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
To Brigitte.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Just kidding. To Candace Owens.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Who you said is like the leader in this story.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Of course. This is Candace Owens' big moment right now. She is exposed. Brigitte Macron. And as you know, Candace is pregnant right now. So I think flying in might not be doable for her. But we're arranging a Zoom interview so she can fill us in on this Brigitte Macron thing. And I'm telling you, the Macrons are panicking. They're sending her, you know, hundred letter threats and all this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It is real. And none of them being like, hey, Brigitte is a woman. Stop saying that. That's not true. They're not even trying to call her out on that. It's very exciting stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Please do not use gendered language. I miss all that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We'll find out what the real story is here. Yeah, it's huge. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's what happened. So hopefully we'll get the full story soon.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But just let us say this now as we wrap up, that it has been the most fun, I think, of our careers that we've gotten to do this show. I never want to stop doing YMH. There's... This is episode 800, and I hope we're doing 800 more of these.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's been a lot of fun. And thank you, you guys, for making this possible. Thank you so much. This started as a silly dream in our little house in Silver Lake with a neighbor that made smelly food through the walls. Yeah. And we've moved it to every house we've been to, and you guys have come with us, and we really appreciate that. It's been amazing. Quite a ride.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's been amazing. We look forward to doing it more, and hopefully we'll see many of you on March 7th. YMHstudios.com, YMH Live is back, and we'll see you soon.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, that's cool. Also, I'll say this. His analogy was fantastic.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yes. Squid or octopus.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You're like, this is not the normal thing I do.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, he was saying, too, that the older broad has calluses, which definitely that adds up. It's just inevitable over time. Yeah. You know, but how does she get the grip with the feet? Practice.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You just got to practice.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's what I'm wondering is how do you get a firm grip with the middles of your feet? Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I'll show you. So anyway, it's cool that I have a feeling this is just my assumption here. Yeah. This is not the only review this man has left. It may be worth exploring what other reviews he puts. There's no way he's just like living life and decided this is a one off.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No, no, no.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This person probably has a bunch of cool reviews.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's really risky to put it out there at 19. It's pretty young. He's young. He's not at the end of his life where he's made his money.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah. The young not realizing what they're doing. So this is one lane where he's obviously talking about busting nuts. Here's another way that you could be young and kind of ruin things.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
What's everybody? It's time for the 800th episode of Your Mom's House. Woo! Woo!
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We're thankful for you for being a viewer, a supporter of the show.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We're listening.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
See, that sets you up for life. Yeah. This exists forever.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, it's a good one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's a good one to put out there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's a good one. Because, you know, in the 90s, maybe every now and then you'd meet a rando like that. Yeah. And you're like, that guy's just fucked up. And then you talk about it for years.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, you'd be like, remember the guy?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Remember that guy that called you an animal? And then you'd be like, this guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
This is the guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Here, let me pass this around. I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
And his life is over. his employment possibilities, his whole career trajectory. His life is done. It's so fucking done.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Fucking Bryce. Border hopper niggas. Bryce just destroyed his future. And he probably had a good one because he's wearing a nice polo button-up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That might be a work. That looks like it's an actual, it's not like a choice from his closet. He might have been working this event. Just check up. Tied one on. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Isn't that wild? That's so many genes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Like when his boss was like, whoa, wait a minute. What are you doing? What, bitch?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Wow. And not only that, I will say. He had a lot of notes. Yes. And what's really interesting is that he pulled out Beaner, which is old school. That's old school, yeah. So somebody older than him is training him is what I'm thinking.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's so crazy, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The kids for today, they don't really know that. They don't know Beaner. No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You goddamn beaners.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He comes from a cool line of people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Right. His mom and dad are saying this crap to him.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
We found 800 different ways to talk about brown, injuries, cool guys.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, it's not just him, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's pretty cool. Ooh, 1444? Yeah. What? This is so stupid.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He had it all. He got Hitler. Wow. He said, you fat bitches. Bitches, yeah. What's up, bitch? And he said to kill people, to slice their throats. I thought he was going to be like, you know why you should slice your throats to the border? This Mexican food is delicious. I thought he was going to turn it to the food.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Which is true.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Wow.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, he's hearing this speech from dad, I think, or uncle.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Somebody our age is training him. Taking our job.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The taking our jobs speech.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's the stupidest thing ever.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The oldest, dumbest, most fucking ignorant speech of all.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It really is. They're not.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Coming here, taking the jobs we want.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The gardening jobs. The landscaping.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Did you want to pick strawberries? You realize that these people are willing to work 18 hours a day and not complain for all this shit. It's unbelievable. I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
But the problem is this guy never knew any beaners. You know what I mean? He didn't grow up around Mexicans the way that I did, you did in Latin culture. He has no respect for them.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Mental illness.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No, he has no respect.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
No knowledge. He doesn't know any Mexicans.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's true.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
The country club he grew up in, he never met them.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
He didn't. He's going to get to know some now. He's going to have a whole new life experience now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
You know, one good thing about... Are you the guy?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
They're going to go, are you the guy that said... Goddamn border hopper niggers.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
800 episodes?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Is that you? Is that you? I was going to say that the one bright spot about MAGA and Donald Trump returning to office is that now these cool clips are resurfacing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Sexual things. Yeah. It's pretty cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Of a lot of Hitler clips, a lot of, you know, get them out of the country, they're taking our job clips. Those are really surfacing up now.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's making people poke their chest out again.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Getting comfortable.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
So today, yeah, this marks the 800th time we've done this podcast.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Well, get comfortable with it. You're gonna have a whole cool bunch of things happen in your life. It's fun that you're young enough that you get to experience a full life now. A full life. Yeah. So anyway, there's so many cool things to review and talk about. One of the things we were going to do is talk about some of the best moments of the last 100 episodes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
One of the first things that comes to mind is episode 704. This is when Ryan and Eni challenged each other to basketball.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Do you remember? I remember how... I couldn't believe how competitive Eni was. You really dug deep. First of all, you were one of the only black guys I ever knew that was like, I'm not good at basketball. I didn't play. It wasn't my obsession growing up. Why is that, Eni? Yeah, well, that's my other half talking.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
That's amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Right. But then you were like, I cannot let my black half down. Exactly.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Which I can't even wrap my head around that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's just so many episodes. It's a blur.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
It's a blur. Yeah. It's been through really... huge part of our life I mean that's all of it we've been doing this roughly 15 years now so this was like we were we were we were married but we had just gotten married yeah basically we were in an apartment in Silver Lake just took us through we've had two kids I know family deaths yep we've had so many we've moved homes we've moved states
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
I think what Ryan was saying was that he didn't claim to play on a college team. It was that he played basketball in college. In other words, not for the school, but it was just part of his... You mean like
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800
Yeah, yeah, like pickup games.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Everybody in Europe. Well, the good thing is, though, it kind of took the pressure off the trip. You know when you're a tourist and you're like, hey, we got to go to London Eye, and then we got to go see Big Ben. We relaxed, and then we went to the Tower of London because the kids wanted to see murder, killing. Swords. Swords, the rack, torture. And I was like, that's definitely your kid.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Well, you know, you always ask this of me whenever there's a cool guy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
This being a cool girl.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Well, do you want to hit it? Knowing, hold on, knowing that our Garfield is pretty tight and snug.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Be honest. Pretend we're not married.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
This is your one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
By the way, I had this exact ceiling.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
But that probably makes it even better, babe.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Wow. The honesty there.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
See, this is where you and I agree to disagree. I can't look past the externals. I can't look past the teeth. I can't look past the ceiling that's falling down.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I don't know, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
She's got a lot of shit around her neck for sure.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Where do you take her? I mean, do you go to a shed? Because you want to keep it a secret. You can't.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
So then do you check into like a scummy motel?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Those are your children. And they loved it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
No, of course not.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Do you know what I just, yeah, sorry.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I just had a flash of, you know, when you, you just know two people and you're like, I wish I could set them up on a date.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Don't tell me that you don't think she and Unkshine would be... Oh, amazing. ...a perfect match. Ay-yi-yi. Yeah, because he's like, I want to lick your booty.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Um, cool. Yeah. And then we flew back 10 hours to Houston.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
He's always talking about eating girls out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, he loves eating girls out. She loves having her. Here's the thing, though.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
That's true.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
He is a mess. Yeah. That's true. I wonder which gentlemen are with her, though. I don't know. By the way, this ceiling thing that's falling in her car, I had the exact thing happen in my 87 Chevy Nova, and I can tell there's... I had cigarette burns in mine, too, which I think I see up there as well. Very hard. Once it starts falling, that one is almost impossible to repair. It's very tough.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
And, um, our kids peed every 15 minutes on that flight. So every time I could like sit down and relax, they're like, mom, I gotta go pee.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, you can angle it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Oh, wow. Surprise answer for many. I didn't think you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
100%.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Men are different creatures, I'll tell you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
They're always... I feel sick. I don't want you doing that sound and acting. Stop.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Okie dokie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Anyway, I wanted to let you know, apropos an earlier discussion on this show, I mentioned obese flight attendant that I had on a flight. And so I was on another flight and a fan of the show, this flight attendant was kind enough. And she goes, I heard what you said about the overweight flight attendant. And I was like, Yeah, tell me, why is this happening?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
She goes, they haven't weighed us since 1994.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Absolutely.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
No.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
And she says, you know, they stopped weighing us because she said apparently it's a form of discrimination and it's protected to be a great big fat person. Now, here's the deal, man. I mean, I don't know. The lawyers didn't argue this case publicly. Well, because that's a controllable thing, your weight, correct? And what if it's a qualification of said job that you need to be a certain?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Terrible. They got to take this stuff out.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
But it makes no sense. Like, let's say a qualification to be a physicist is a PhD in physicistsics, right? There's a qualification. There's a thing that needs to happen. So why can't maintaining a baseline... There's probably... It's all unionized.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
There must be.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I mean, look, a little... I'm saying that this guy was so obese that it was like he was bumping into us and stuff as he was walking by. I'm like, he can't even do his job.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
So... Yeah. But it's cost prohibitive for the airline because you're taking up someone's suitcase space, let's say. They are. Weight is important on an airplane. It's a safety issue.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
That's the biggest problem.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Pretty.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Remember when they were pretty and stuff? You know where they still are? Only pretty women.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, dimes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Happy. This is nice. Even, shout out to Richard Branson on the Virgin line, Virgin Atlantic. I loved flying Virgin because they were all cool and pretty and they had cool outfits.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
It matters, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
The hostess, of course. The waitress. Oh, no.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
No, dude. It's a safety issue. How is this person going to assist me off? Why is someone getting so fat? And also, when you fly, as you know, Tom, there's a weight allotment for aircraft. Of course. It affects the safety, the balance. And here's the thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Big broad.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
They don't, no.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, she's all logy from the carbs. I do. However, the obese guy that served, he was gay, too. He was gay. And he was polite. He was fun because he was gay. By the way, I prefer a gay flight attendant. I love the gay male ones. Describe yourself.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I love a gay flight attendant.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
They're great. And I will say, shout out to the gays in New York City. Boy, can they dress. They looked fantastic. The gays came with their fashion.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
In the U.S., they have fat flight attendants.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, and how cool would it be to be the person pictured in that article?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
You would be like, oh my God. They can't use that picture, can they? But I will say in London, you don't see as many great big fat people because I think they don't have as much food on the go that we do. Like you can't just grab a pizza slice and walk through London. We're the fattest.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
So pretty.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
So pretty. So many good looking people. The modeling capital of, wait, one of the modeling capitals. Stunning people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Oh, listen, I love Austin. I love Austin. I got to say, a lot of the ladies walking around here, garbage dumps. They're not taking care of them. They're not looking good. I mean, you guys see them here in the bar.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
That's Dallas and Houston.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
But Austin is more like just the young girls that should be cute. They're they they dress like garbage bags.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
That's so fun. Yeah. And your littlest buddy, Juju, decided to take a horrendous dump on the flight back from London.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
No, there's more. There's more. Okay. There's more.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
raw show and it's very real and we took a lot of chances did you see his face was like bitch I will hit you and I will say in this instance yeah he should have hit her I think this is the time you hit a bitch is this that is a fucking lack of respect yeah big she don't respect him
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yes, it did.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
How do you say disrespect? Can you find that? I saw the first few seconds and I clicked off because I'm so disinterested in these two people. But, I mean, babe, if I talk to you like that, first of all, privately, negative, but publicly?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
First of all, the guy's old. He doesn't want seven kids. He's letting you have seven kids. Be nice.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Dude, like it was a multi wiper. Like he had to wipe about 500 times. And he's one who really loves a bidet and loves getting clean. Yeah. He loves it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
100%.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, a little Sean Connery. Ay, que lastima. How do you say it? What do you say when you get hit in Spanish?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
No me pegues. No me pegues.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
That was insane. But she has a great rack for fucking seven kids. She's beautiful.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Of course, she's always working out on the ground.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
All right, let's see this horse shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
What's the...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
It's a great apartment in New York City.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah. Well, and then she doubles down on it. This is a double down. Yeah, yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
What's going on?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
What is going on here? Yeah. Does she have the grip in her Garfield?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Is that this is?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
So I was standing and they won't go to the bathroom alone on an airplane. I had to stand there watching. Yeah. And then he's like, it's not clean enough. It's not clean enough. And I'm like, it's fine. He's like, well, how do I clean it? And I'm like, just get the toilet paper wet, dude. He just kept wiping. And meanwhile, there's a line of people. I can't shit on an airplane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, it's not anymore.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Babe, this is Alec Baldwin.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Sure.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, but he's Alec Baldwin. He can get, he was with Kim Basinger at one point. Like, bro, he don't need her.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
before him it's because you're not that entertaining well she's not there's no talent there's not a talent you're still a yoga instructor yeah you just married a movie star she's gorgeous hey very pretty good body good fate like she's really i don't think she's very interesting to listen to or there's not many ideas and stuff but um wow i'm surprised did you see the rage hold on can you back it up in that interview where he kind of goes he goes
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
So that's funny. Now he's still funny. Now he thinks about that.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah. Yeah. He's thinking of the Garfield. He was thinking of her Garfield.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah. He's trapped, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Poor guy. I mean. He's 66. This man is almost 70 years old. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
But, man, I had the biggest crush on him when he was a little girl. He's turning 67. When he did that movie, The Marrying Man, with Kim Basinger, I was like, God, if I grow up to look like Kim Basinger and I could get Alec Baldwin.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Oh, my God. I thought he was the most attractive man I'd ever seen.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Ugh.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
What?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
In what?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
All the Baldwins. I think one or two are kind of goofy looking. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
That voice, that gravelly voice.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Nope.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I get so much anxiety because what if they, you know, there's people waiting.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
But it's always a marriage killer because everybody that's ever done one, they end up divorced except for Ozzy and what's her name? Sharon Osbourne. But other than that, they didn't divorce her together.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
but they were ironclad before yeah i mean ozzy was doing crazy shit for years before they had a reality show the reality show probably calmed him down but they always end up divorced broken no good no bueno no well my god that was just fucking insane oh yeah this is you're gonna love this i would have hit her fuck dude got a montage for you you ready oh yeah here we go
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Anyway.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
No, I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
This is what it feels like to take the subway in New York City.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, my mom got into that later in life. Really? There's waves and the telephone's got sound waves. I can't use the telephone. I can't send emails. This is a little bit of schizophrenia, Tom.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
What's she mad at?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
You've got to put tinfoil on the windows. Everybody knows that. Day number one. Yeah. Yeah, don't go outside. This is when you become a shutout. This is about where my mom decided to call it a day. Gosh, but man, there's a lot of tears. There's a lot going on. Yet she still knows how to post a video on social media. And she writes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
She does? Yeah. Oh, wow.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Looking forward to her creative development. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
But you don't feel the pressure of the people? Other people? No. No. I mean... How do you block that out?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars. I'm into this. And the waste. Just the ecological stuff. So imagine I just shit. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
How are you rinsing it, though? You're using soap, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
The problem, though, is that I got to wipe my genie.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Do I get my own cloth?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I can't use the shit cloth on my vagina.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Oh, I didn't even think about that. And then the boys, they get to wipe it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
This is such a great idea. We got to get into the family.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
She's got a great hiney.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
pretty face i could do these videos so well i'm gonna get into this yeah 50 year old mom farts a lot of farts like she's doing makeup you see she's got her eyeliner brush in her left hand there no i could do this every time i worry if you're gonna drop dead and i have to support the kids i remember i can do these farts yeah i know any any's turned on right now
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
She's got to do this because guys get hard. They pay for it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
She doesn't want to. The other things are nasty. This is easy. This is money on the table. It is the easy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Roll camera.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Gotta get another one.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I don't even see her face. Could be anybody.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Her clothes is on. Her clothes is on? Her clothes are on?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah. What's everybody? Yeah, I think that I could do this lickety split.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I think I got a new painting coming. I finished one. I will be honest. I did finish my next one, but I'm not sure it's good enough.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I've got some artistic stuff. I don't know. I'm feeling insecure.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I need a rogue. God, you have to start creating a rogue pocket in your pants and stuff. You're so into these. It's not a bad idea. No, it's not a bad idea.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Breed? Why Breed? Oh, nice, bro. That's good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
breed mc breathe um that was so silly reed can i say something about reed though yeah he's pushing back now is he yeah he's getting some sass he's getting his feathers ruffled that's what you want man he's pushing back yeah he came in a little more docile and now he's like fuck you dude yeah well he's gotten he's getting good he's getting yeah he's comfortable Yeah, he's getting strong.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I like it. I like it. I like it, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
What part of the world is he?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Okay.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. You badger them into submission. But I feel like that's the position you have to take if you're going to be so bold as to shit on a flight. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I mean, have you ever spoken to anybody... Like that in your life? No. Especially the landlord.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I think so.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah. He shouldn't really tell people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
You know, can I tell you what he's giving me, though? You're kind of giving me Fedsmoker vibes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Oh, for sure.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, me either. I'm liking this evolution. You know, we started as the ladies, man. Just get your D-Wop. But now we're getting aggressive. We're starting to get into Fedsmoker territory.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
You sure are. We're getting there. This is turning. This is turning. Changing my lock.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
It's your problem now. But that only comes with being a dad. I think you've really come into your dadhood. You were always meant to be a middle-aged dad because that was who you were at 23 when I met you.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Wow. Oh, no, he's getting kicked out. What are you talking about?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I wish I could see what he's doing that's ramping these folks up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Oh, thank God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I know, and he loves the library. That's his favorite place.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
We're like, at the library?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Big dad energy.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, I got it. This is classic Tony, though.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
This is the essence of TJ, though. This is the Tony Jones I know and love.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
this is this is the fulfillment it's all this is perfect for you this is your time this is your stride yeah yeah feels good yeah i think i was meant to be like a 50 year old lady because i like that time feels good it does feel good because the the pressure's off the pressure's off i've done a lot already i'm not looking for dudes to date or talk to me you know because i've already got the dudes you got a dude you already got a dude
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I thought they changed the locks. How is he getting back into the place?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
What is he drinking?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
See, you know what he figured out with OnlyFans? Is that the only people paying for sexual content on OnlyFans is dudes. It's men. Women are not paying for this stuff.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I'm a worker. You're a worker. You're a worker.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Do you think he has a bank account, though? I'm a ladies' man. I'm a performer.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
There's no way he's paid yet. How are they paying?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Right.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I can tell. I mean, look, he's got money for the tanning salon, for the fitness membership.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
That's what I mean. It's insane. How is he? I don't know. I wish he would just stay at a Walmart. He needs that structure. I don't know what's going on. He needs a paycheck.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
All right, can I push first?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
What's everybody?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
What can people see on your OnlyFans?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
But, Tony, do you have somewhere private you can make these films? Just somewhere private?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Tony, do you have a bank account that you can link the OnlyFans to? Are you getting paid?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Okay. So you're getting your money from OnlyFans. That's good.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
So you're doing that. And then can you find a new place to live?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I bet you would be a really good car salesman. You love people. You love talking to people. Yeah. That's a great gig.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Oh, yeah. How you been, Christina? I'm good, sweetie. I'm just glad to hear how happy you are. Oh, fuck, I'm loving all this. I like that OnlyFans is working out for you. And you mentioned in your stories that maybe you would consider doing some videos for the guys. Because I think guys actually pay quite a lot more than women on OnlyFans. Yes, ma'am. So tell me about that. What's that?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Governor, I'm pumped. I'm ripped.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah. Because that would be a great back-to-back debut. Yeah, because I think this is actually your lane. I think you may have found your talent, Tony.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yes. No, no. Keep going. Keep going. Yes, ma'am. But try to find somewhere more private, maybe. I don't want you to end up in jail, okay? Yeah, don't get kicked out of another place. Film...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Oh, my God, Tom. I love you guys, bro.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I think he's going to stay in Vegas. Vegas might be where you love to live. I think he might like Vegas a lot, Tony.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, I think you should, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I'll grab the pocket.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
You're a worker now, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yes, yes, ma'am. And guess what? Vegas is a very judgment-free zone. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah. Oh, that's amazing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
You got to go. That's where you got to be. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Cool.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
We'll talk to you soon, man. Bye, Tony. Take care of yourself.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Bye, sweetie. Wow. Well, I tell you, if we aren't making dreams come true.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah. But what a great lane for him. I think sucking on dude's toes, like, that's easy money, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Of course there is.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Of course.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Of course. For a male performer, that's where the money is. And I think sending him to Vegas is going to change his life.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Oh, my God.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Wouldn't that be the perfect matching?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Right? I see the look in your eyes. Like, that would have been the best. Do you think Robert would go for a Tony John's? It's fresh meat. I know. The look in your eyes. I saw it. I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Best idea ever, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Why not?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I mean, essentially, he's doing what Robert Paul Champagne does, too.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
But Robert doesn't do OnlyFans.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Maybe he should.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I think so. Dude. Oh, my God. Can we get on this? Can we reach out? Maybe RPC will.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Of course.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
This is insane.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I really do think that once Tony gets to Vegas, he's going to see that that's where he's meant to be. Don't you feel like that? Yes. Auburn, New York is not the right place. He's got to get out of there. It's too small of a community. He's menacing the community. He needs to go to Vegas where there's a lot of weird shit where he's just like another guy. He just fades into the background.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I mean, this is a whole new line we're doing here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Of course.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I mean, the irony with Tony Johns is that this whole I'm a ladies man thing and this and that, he kind of does have the dong for porn.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I mean, God gave him a talent.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Like, go with it, kid.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Sometimes you're just given one thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
He is the Dirk Diggler. Yeah. When Dan Soder said that. Dan Soder was like, he's like Dirk Diggler. I'm like, I think he might be.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
You don't get it all, but when you get it, boy, you got one thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah. There he is, dude. Tony. I mean, he kind of is Dirk Diggler. He is.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Wild, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
That's bad luck.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
That's such bad luck.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
No, I'm just trying to watch some fucking guy do some shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Some of the handlebars.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
You got excited about RPC and Tony Johnston. Yeah, it's really exciting. I saw the creative wheels turning when I said it. Your eyes lit up in a way.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Me too, bro. So many things to go over. We've lived quite our lives in the last couple weeks.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah. Oh, I know. It's 15 years of work. I know.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Right. There's nothing else we can do. Now, the only other thing I would say is Norm Somerton, Tick Cups.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
There's two cool guys that got away.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
King Ass Ripper.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Never wanted to do the show. We reached out to him for years and years and years. Yep. And Norm Somerton. Those are the only two cool guys that got away from the show.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
But RPC.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Wow. Yeah? Wow. Whoa, hold on. Can we check it out?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I don't know, dude.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I don't think that Tony's his type. That's the only problem.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Fuck!
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I think the two of them would J their Ds.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Together.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Because they love to do that on camera anyway. That's a deal, man.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, I know. It's just exciting when inspiration strikes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Okay. And if you don't like it, I'm not going to like it either. Like if you can't watch it, there's no way I can watch it.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Is it too emotional? And it's just embarrassing. I hate emotional shit.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Well, I think because I got to go to that and I was so pumped to see you do MSG. I mean, it was, first of all, New York City to me is the center of the universe. It's fantastic. And to see, the crowd was so hyped because I think they get it. They're like, if you're at Madison Square Garden.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Well, it's terrible. Yeah. She didn't have to talk.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
You don't have to talk. She's clearly nervous.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah, but you can. It's 2021. Of course you can.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
This isn't 1960. It's so weird.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Where the fuck do these people live that it's a big deal?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
No, it's horrible.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
It's horrible. Remember that one wedding you and I went to where the dad gave kind of a backhanded speech?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
He's like, we didn't think much of him when we met.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I just don't think, I don't even know why people have to give speeches at weddings, honestly. It's the worst. What the fuck do you need to say?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I hate giving speeches at things like this. Maybe the father of the bride or the parents say something, but your dumb, dumb friend has to get up drunk.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
And not only that, you know how they're not used to giving speeches, so they're very banal and boring and basic bitchy. Yeah. Oh, my God. When Stacey and I met in college, I was like, Stacey, you're such a whore. You're never going to get married. Like, they're always the same formula.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
It's not interesting. I mean, and you can see that there's black people in the room. Yeah. So it's like, what are you doing?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I know, and if she didn't approve of the groom, then why are you, don't go to the wedding. Don't be a part of the wedding party or whatever.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
You did it, man. And they're rooting for you. They want you to do well. And it was so big. Oh, there's Joey. Oh my gosh, he's so funny.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
And not everybody has to talk.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
But what's really gnarly is that this could have just been a memory without a video.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
No, I was just going to say that she's dressed like a whore for the wedding. For a wedding.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Well, her dress. She's going to marry him. So short. She's going to fucking marry this guy. It's too low cut and it's too short. It's like she wants. She looks like she's going out. Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
She wants the attention. Yeah. She's all over the map. This chick's messed up.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
But then it's, I like black people.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
My great, my nephew's great aunt is black. Is black.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
It's making me uncomfortable, right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Or, okay, or if you're going to do it, just make one funny joke and be done. Yeah. One comment, but not even like actually has to be genuinely funny, which is kind of hard to do in today's day and age. Like we've all heard.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
The interracial couple jokes. I'm trying to, you know what I mean? What are you going to say?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Oh, yeah. She's fucked. Yeah, this went viral.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
I know you are, babe. I'm here for you. I don't know what to do. Oh, hey, buy my lipstick, guys. ChristinaP.com. You can get the perfect for all four of my new shades. ChristinaP.com. Check it out. Try it out. Get them all. They're fantastic. I'm wearing the perfect red right now today.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Let me tell you this.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Can I talk to you for a second? Yes.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
That's what he said.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Chrissy, Dee, and I were backstage, and in his green room, there was an event from 1984, a poster that said, Cat Ranking...
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
assembly or cat ranking whatever thing and he's like my you know how he talks like that my uncle irvin was a cat ranking judge and i'm like no he wasn't he's like no look there's videos on tiktok he's ranking cats you're so fucking crazy it's so insane these guys are nuts dude
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Oh, yeah. His whole life has changed because of 3 Day Blinds.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
um one thing before we leave the topic i just want to give a shout out to london yeah a number one food i don't know what happened to us a couple years back told you we got jacked yeah we went to bad places i don't know how that happened i just want to give a shout out to london your food crushed yeah however i will say i don't know what europe has against public toilets yeah it feels like they want you to eat the food but not shit anywhere yeah public
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
They're like, you take that dump home and you pee at home.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
They just don't do public. And oh, you want to use our toilet? That's like five pounds. Yeah. You got five pounds on you and then you have to stand in line. I'm like, this is insanity. I don't like it either. So eventually I would pop into a pub. I learned what to do with the kid and with the kids. Oh, my kids have to pee. Or we just pee in the car.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
We were going to leave. The kids and I were going to leave that morning.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Is that right?
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
See, so this tells me that London, England, UK, Europe, they have something against people going to the bathroom in public.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
They got a problem with it. I don't know. Not in Amsterdam. In Amsterdam, remember, they're like, oh, you want to pee? Just piss here.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Just a concrete thing.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Yeah.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Because they started doing this, I guess, in the 1500s because there's the first public toilet.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
And now they're like, well, you're getting drunk.
Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804
Me too. So the point is, if you're a tourist that likes to pee, go to Amsterdam.