Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

YMH LIVE Is Back! w/ Matt Fulchiron | Your Mom's House Ep. 799

26 Feb 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What exciting announcements are made about YMH Live?

0.808 - 4.289

I've been looking forward to this for a long time. Not everybody could do this.

0

6.01 - 9.731 Tom Segura

We're thankful for you for being a viewer, a supporter of the show.

0

10.152 - 13.973

It's been a long transformation. Without you, our genes are low and loose.

0

14.433 - 17.554

And if she let me eat her booty, yeah, I'm gonna eat her booty.

0

18.595 - 21.536

Your mom's house live, bitch.

28.004 - 30.825 Tom Segura

Wyoming's life is so exciting. This is our first one in a while.

30.845 - 40.947 Unknown Speaker

This is a big, big episode. I love you.

41.107 - 43.367

Yeah. I don't anymore.

43.387 - 50.169 Unknown Speaker

Welcome. Welcome to your

Chapter 2: Why are historical figures like Hitler and Saddam Hussein discussed?

2421.886 - 2445.093

Also how lazy they are. So lazy. They don't know that that's the whole job. Yeah. Like, you're going to bomb anyway when you're an emcee, so don't bother with that. Yeah. With going over your notes. Yeah. Just memorize that shit. Say the thing. Yeah. Fucking cunt. I remember I was emceeing in Ontario one time, and I was introducing David Allen Greer, and I almost said Tommy Davidson.

0

2445.113 - 2461.746

It was halfway out my mouth, which I would have been just so fucking... Humiliated. It's only half racist. They were both on In Living Color. Yeah. You know what I mean? He would have got you good. Shouts out to both of them. I love them. It's my own stupidity and nervousness.

0

2462.327 - 2477.151 Tom Segura

I remember, I think I've told this story before, but it still haunts me because there's nothing like the trauma of not knowing what to say. And I was hosting at the Melrose Improv on a showcase night. So Melrose is like showcase shows.

0

2477.931 - 2495.54 Tom Segura

so you know every time you get off you're like who's next and you go back and i had rift a minute in between and then it was time and i was like give it up your next comedian and i i remembered his last name and i could remember his first name so i just said mr burman

0

2496.036 - 2496.757 Unknown Speaker

No.

2497.258 - 2511.959 Tom Segura

He's like 23. No, I think his name is Peter. Is it Peter Berman? Yeah, that's his name. Yeah, now you know it. It's Peter Berman. And I said, Mr. Berman. And he was like, he came up there. I remember he was like, fuck you.

2512.299 - 2513.38 Unknown Speaker

Mr. Berman.

2513.42 - 2530.77 Tom Segura

He goes, Mr. Berman. That's him. Yeah, yeah. He looks like a Mr. Berman. He goes, what am I, his fucking fourth grade teacher? That's what he said. I was like... Yeah, that dude don't fuck around. I've hung out with him recently. And I mean, he should have. He did exactly what he should have done. Right. Yeah, that's him. And I was like... But here's the thing.

2530.95 - 2534.773 Tom Segura

Even though the person forgives you, you're so...

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.