Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod.
Chapter 2: What does SSSS on a boarding pass mean?
Well, over my travel, my extensive summer travel, I received the dreaded, and you may have seen these videos pop up on social media, if your boarding pass says SSSS, what does it mean? What does it mean? I got that. I got the four S's.
Chapter 3: What happens during a secondary security screening?
It means you're a slithery little slut. It means you're a slithery, slutty, sexy, slitherin.
Sexy, slutty, social slitherin.
Yeah. No, it means, I actually don't know exactly what it means.
Chapter 4: How can travel patterns affect airport security checks?
It means basically you get a secondary security screening and it's for flights to the USA. Anus. No anus. There was no anus. Oh, that's a shame.
Chapter 5: What are the common reasons for being selected for extra screening?
But I have had this before, and it can either be, A, completely random, B, weird travel patterns. Yeah, right. And because you're coming to America, they're like, oh, where's this guy? He's been all over the place. Yeah.
Chapter 6: What should you expect during a swab test at the airport?
Or I had it once when my flight got cancelled. I quickly jumped online, booked a flight two hours before it departed. Oh. And they were like, well, that's what a terrorist would do.
He's running away.
Chapter 7: How do medications impact airport security screenings?
He's running away or he's, you know, come into America with kind of ulterior motives. But so I had this. And so you go through normal airport security. And then either after that, they'll give you an extra pat down. And, you know, the swab all over?
Chapter 8: What are the implications of having a positive swab test?
Yeah, the drug swab. So I had this at the gate. I got called to the gate and they had a swab machine. They went through my bag. Anus? No anus swab. Sorry, I'm just kidding. We'll keep checking in to see when the anus comes into the story. You know that one that they rub it over everything and they insert it into the machine? Oh, yeah, the explosives test. Yes. And so he did this. He did my bag.
He did my body, my hands, put it in the machine. It was fine. He was like, do you have any electronics? And I was like, yeah, I've got an iPad. Yeah. So I got out my iPad and like, I don't know about you, but my laptop and iPad, I never clean them. Never, ever.
Dude, I've been looking at mine. Mine are feral.
Like breadcrumbs. Yeah. Sticky. Food bits.
Sticky food bits.
Dust. Like dust. Dust, everything. Chocolate. So my iPad, keyboard, my... It's probably jizz. It's probably jizz. I don't know. It's probably jizz. I mean, just by sort of a rule of thumb, there'd be jizz somewhere. It gets around. And so I took it out, and I opened it up. So the keyboard's there on the iPad, and he swabs the keyboard.
He swabs the thing, puts it in the machine, and it goes fucking red. Positive for jizz. Up on the screen, all the letters I see are TNT. And I was like, the fuck? Fuck, TNTs in there, like cartoon explosives? Because I'm TNT.
Yeah, that's dynamite.
So this was out of Columbia into America, and they did not speak a word of English to the security staff. And I was just looking at them like, what? And I was just like, what the fuck is on my iPad? And so they were like, the one woman spoke tiny, like, phrases of English. And she's like, do you have medications? Have you been touching medications? And I was like, well, yeah.
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