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我看不透她要自己丈夫回来是爱他呢，还是怕别人议论是非；我怀疑她肠断心伤的失恋之痛是否也掺杂着虚荣心受到损害的悲伤；这种疑心也使我很惶惑。我那时还不了解人性多么矛盾，我不知道真挚中含有多少做作，高尚中蕴藏着多少卑鄙，或者，即使在邪恶里也找得着美德。谁都会认为你是个没有人性的坏蛋。让他们想去吧。所有人都讨厌你，鄙视你，这对你一点儿都无所谓吗？无所谓。「你为什么离开她？」「我要画画。」「可你已经四十了！」「正因为这个我才想，如果现在再不开始就太晚了。」「你以为像你这样年纪的人学画还能学的好吗？你怎么会认为自己还有绘画才能？你想碰运气吗？也许会有奇迹发生，但这可能性微乎其微……」「我要画画。」
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