Family Flowers Only - Bonus Ep
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What is the purpose of the new “After the Flowers” bonus series?
Hey everyone, I am here with the bonus episode, the first week of After the Flowers, which is going to be a midweek shorter episode. And the whole idea is that it's going to give you something tangible that will help you through all of those things that you're really struggling with. I want to set the tone because this is the first week of it. So the idea is I'm going to sit down each week with a therapist or a coach, and we're going to sit down and go through your problems, your questions, your dilemmas that you've sent in. So I'm joined by two people, a male and a female. I thought I'd get both perspectives. One is Peter Mahani, he is a psychotherapist, and the other is Rachel Gotto, who is a Clinical hypnotherapist and she specializes in crisis coaching.
Both are very, you know, schooled in grief. Uh, Rachel's actually a grief educator, also. So they're you know, they're the perfect people for the job. They've had their own huge traumatic losses themselves, and it's just so nice to sit down and talk about things with these two every week. And it's just really nice to sit down and bounce the things off them that. Maybe people don't always talk about it out loud. You'll see a lot of stories coming in that people might see as taboo, or maybe you have to keep to yourself and you can't really ask or tell anyone. And so that's what we're gonna do. I would love your feedback. Throw a comment on Spotify. Make sure you're following us. Uh, you know, let us know what you're thinking of the bonus episode because I'd really appreciate that feedback.
Okay, enjoy and I'll talk to you soon. So this week I am back doing our bonus add-on episode that is, I suppose, with the hope that it's gonna give a lot of help and support to people who need it. So let's jump right in. So people have been sending in their questions, their dilemmas, and a big I suppose theme that has come up is estrangement, particularly because, you know, it's not something that's spoke about openly, because it might involve other people that are still living. And um so I think people struggle with that one alone. Uh, 'cause there's not a lot of places they can go with that problem. So a lovely person sent in and said that I wish people wouldn't judge around family estrangement. I made the very hard decision for the sake of my children.
My mother was suffering from addiction issues, then she was diagnosed with cancer, and after going to therapy, I made the decision to not return to the family home. Before she passed, I got a call to go for a visit and I did. It was a very difficult time. I have lost my siblings now too. I passed my sibling in the supermarket, but we both keep walking like strangers. I know from the looks I get people are very quick to judge, but God loss has so many layers and I just wish people could be more open. The day my mother was buried I had to carry on like normal, no support was offered from anyone. I am not made of stone. Going into a house and getting verbally abused in front of my children just got too much, but society expects us to just put up with that.
Please stop judging family estrangement, especially when there has been a death in the family. It actually brings up so much more without being supported through the grieving process like you would anyone else.
Who are the two experts joining the host and what are their specialties?
She says, Thanks for listening and giving a voice to everyone, Kathy. I love first of all how I always presume it's a woman. Like she says, I don't know. This could be a a man. So yeah, look, my own thoughts on that is I think it's It's very sad. I think that that person sounds like they're really being robbed almost of their grief or they don't feel permission to grieve. And I mean, personally, I just feel like she's completely and utterly entitled to grieve. That relate relationship, the loss of it. Um, what's your thoughts on that, Rachel?
Um, you're right, this happens a lot. And I have had a couple of clients in the last couple of years who have experienced deep trauma because of family splits. And I think the narrative that plays out in everybody's minds.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the purpose of the new “After the Flowers” bonus series?
0:00–3:23
2
Who are the two experts joining the host and what are their specialties?
3:23–6:44
3
What listener’s question sparked the conversation about family estrangement?
6:44–9:01
4
How does Rachel Gotto describe the grief that comes with being estranged from a parent?
9:01–11:24
5
What therapeutic insights does Peter Mahony share about family fractures and judgment?
11:24–13:56
6
Why does the host refer to herself and the guests as the “black sheep” of families?
13:56–17:28
7
How can someone honor their right to grieve an estranged parent while protecting themselves?
17:28–21:28
8
What practical steps and self‑care strategies are suggested for navigating estrangement and loss?
21:28–22:42