Aaron Belial

It's not too late to have the first female president. We could have the best one. Trump could transition.

Usually I would need to edit clips together for a joke like that, but that was all from a single interview.

Yeah, it's true. Tony has been spending too much time with Trump. Didn't know that shooting carrot juice into your cock would make your skin that color?

Take a day off, buddy. Your head looks like a horse saddle with teeth. Okay, thank you.

Well, okay, there you go. Stop trying to make me say the N-word. I am not like you.

Last year in New Year's, I got jumped in Austin on 6th Street. I don't know if it's the way I dress or the way I walk, but homeless people keep targeting me. Yesterday on 6th Street, a guy sitting on a pizza box yells at me, hey, you look like you need to be fucked in the ass. What the fuck?

Whoa, you stopped yourself from talking there. At a glance, what looking at me makes you think I need to be fucked in the ass? I don't think that's gonna help my scoliosis.

I was telling a joke last week about how I use my disability to skip lines at Disney World and this Botox bimbo sitting with her plastic surgeon boyfriend gets mad and heckles me telling me I'm abusing my power. Like, how are you gonna judge me for using my privilege to save my knees while you're getting on your knees for free lip fillers? Yeah, fuck that bitch.

I love it. She came into my meet and greet line demanding a picture because she paid for me. Kept grabbing at me too. So I acted retarded again and I bit her. Hell yeah. Good luck getting that nose fixed. I bite with the strength of 47 chromosomes.

Just a few more words from me. Joe, you should love me. I can transition at any time with my thumb.

100%.