Abbey's Mom
Appearances
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
In Love on the Spectrum, season one, they're interviewing me and they said, what is your fear for Abby's future?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I just want the dog. We had a helper that lived with us. So Abby was terribly afraid of dogs. And in autism for us, there's certain things that Abby, I don't think, can really explain. But one of them is the feeling of being startled. So we used to think that it was the octave of a dog barking that hurt her ears.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
but now i'm sort of zeroing in on it's the startling that happens when a dog barks abruptly oh and i think that's the thing that you know you have to really peel away the layers so that really made her be afraid of all dogs at all times we get this helper she moved into my house to help me out we were bartering that's how i got through my single motherhood is i'd have someone move into my back room and then
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
her dog bedroom and she had a dog she said and i love this girl so much and she brought her dog her american bulldog and she's like oh i want my dog to move into diesel diesel's his name yeah he was his name he passed away but he was he spoke in dog language that he was he was barking to say change the memory
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Is that what you think?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Right, because she was living with a dog and this was a very sweet dog. She learned that dogs bark when they're like scared or they're just someone knocked on the door. And she slowly lost the fear of the dog barking and the reaction. So we had been talking about getting Abby her own dog so she could learn responsibility. And it could be her dog. pet to take care of.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Diesel got bone cancer and died in a very short window of time. And so our helper was in Joshua Tree with some friends. And she said, I saw a sign that said free puppies on the side of the road. Some woman was giving them away. And she called me on one Sunday. She said, I've had a spiritual moment with this puppy that has come to me and crawled up into my arms.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And this is just what Diesel did when I rescued him from the pound. And she said, I think Diesel is bringing this dog to you. And I said, I just said, I trust your instinct. If this is the dog we're supposed to have, bring it. And Clementine then was there within six hours. I was not prepared. I had nothing. And we had this puppy and the rest is history.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And Clementine has been a very, very important part of Abby's life.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Oh. Can I help explain that to you? Yes. So what she's saying is that that internet sound from the dial-up modem is very pleasant and very pleasing to her. It calms her down. So when she's feeling dysregulated, she's working in speech, that listening to that sound, which you can just Google, is regulating for her.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Not my choice, not my understanding.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
It's the memory of, I think, the sound, which brings her back to a feeling and a time that she was relaxed or something. So that's why she prefers that. I think it's kind of a cool sound effect.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Her friend Alana Stewart does AOL. Alana Stewart does. She's older. That's the whole joke with the people that got their emails 20 years ago.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
You mean going on Love on the Spectrum? Yes. First of all, it was happening during COVID and no one knew what it was. It was just literally a guy. This is how they found Abby. She was in a theater program called Spectrum Laboratories where it's, to me, therapeutic social skills in theater help you with your connecting socially. She's in that program.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
The producer, Kian, went to many autism programs looking for just different people and meeting people. So they called us and just said, there's a guy who's doing some sort of maybe a documentary on relationships and autism, and he wants to Zoom with you because it was 2020. So I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know what it was. And they Zoomed. And that was great.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Then they called back about a month later. We Zoomed again. Still didn't know what it was. Third time they called back again. And then they say, we were kind of sitting next to each other because I still didn't know what it was. And the guy says, can we have a moment alone with Abby? Okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
go in the other room I'm sort of standing by like our washroom but I can kind of see her and so she's zooming with Keon that's right I am and you were zooming with him and then you turned in the middle of the interview to me off-camera and you said mom when you're driving you call everyone an asshole And I don't know who these guys are.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I go, Abigail, that is, keep focused to the question that is being asked of you. And they asked her, at the very end, they said, you know, we want you to be part of this project. And I'm like, okay, what is this project? I had never heard of it because it hadn't come out yet. Maybe their season one had just come out, is what I think. I think maybe. Cool.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So he said it's going to be on this little network called, starts with the letter N. Yeah, just a little one. It's not NBC, and I said Netflix. It's Netflix. They said Netflix. I was like, oh my gosh. Okay, so then I watched the season one and the season two, or season one of Australia's Love on the spectrum.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And I'm just going to tell you the truth from my point of view, which was when I watched those individuals on the spectrum, I saw a man driving a city bus as his job, a couple traveling Europe on their own, uh, people that didn't need aides or helpers and people with no expressive language problem. Yeah. And I truly said to the producers, I love your show. I laughed. I cried.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
These people are lovely.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
She's not right. Yeah. I said, those people have what we formally called Asperger's.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And are you okay? Yeah. And I said, Abby doesn't have that. She has language struggles. If you want someone, that's going to be really hard. And they said, we want to show more diversity of the spectrum. That's when I said, okay, then we should include. So we're going to do this. So that's when we decided to give it a whirl.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And what Abby said earlier, remember what you were talking about once they came to the house for the very first day? I already explained that. I know. You sat in a room that was hot and you couldn't move, remember? She was sort of sitting there and they were asking these questions and it was a bit of a struggle. And I was listening in the other room and I thought to myself, what have I done?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
This is so not fair that I sort of threw her in this thing or encouraged her to try doing this thing when the questions were too much. The reciprocal language was too much, and I felt really bad.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And I kind of cried a little bit, and I thought, I made a mistake. But I didn't want to rob her of the chance... Do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. Really, I felt caught. So by a miracle, they called the next week and they said, we want to come back. Because I thought, oh, we're never going to do this. They're going to say, no, this just didn't work. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
They came back and said, we'd like to shoot Abby in her natural environment, just letting her walk around the house. Yes. Like do her thing. And I was like, oh, okay. And that second day they came back, what did you do for Kian? Do you remember what you did when Kian came back? You told stories. You did impressions. Yes.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And she did an impression of Bruce the Shark from Finding Nemo because he's Australian too. But I'm not Australian. You're not.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Do you want a break? Oh, yeah. Let's take a break.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So Abby's walking around the house doing her own thing, leading the producers around. She's funny. She's articulate. She's a laugh a minute. And I now as the mother am going, that's my girl. Yeah. That's what I've seen her capable of.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And the producer turned to me and he said, is she always like this? And I said, yes.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
This is what she's like.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And I learned in that moment that there are so many kids, not just like Abby, but with ADHD or neurodivergent learners, I call them, that need to be moving or doing that do not function their best selves when they're sitting at attention like soldiers in a quiet room and they're not supposed to move and they're supposed to listen and write off the board and learn the way that our traditional schools have us learn.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
It was very cool of them to let her do what she wanted to do, which they've done the whole time. They very much let Abby, when they're shooting, just do her own thing. And they're very non-invasive. It's like, you hardly know they're there.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
That was the main thing I took away from that, which is to advocate for teachers who may not be familiar with alternative learners because they're older or they're... You know, there's a lot of new stuff we're finding out about neurodiversity and learning. And I say, wow, you know, sit on a beanbag, sit on a rolling chair, give sensory breaks, let people move around.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Teach in a way that's high affect. High affect means you're doing something. You're physically doing something to learn that lesson. You're not just sitting there reading off the blackboard and writing it down. Like the idea of that sort of quiet, isolative, sit down, be quiet. I'm not a fan of that anymore. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I mean, if you've been officially diagnosed and you're between the ages of, say, two and five, That's a very hard chunk to be in of time with understanding what to do because there's no clear cut path. My personal opinion is that autism is such a big word and it means a million different things. And even 20 years ago when I was doing this with her, I would say don't panic. Don't cry.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Be a detective. See what they're doing. Put your ego in the toilet and flush it because that's, you know, no ego on this. Because some parents, I think, think you don't have to ask me for that. Just you can do whatever you need. Okay, good idea. It's a daunting thing. And when I sat in the chair and they said autism spectrum disorder, everything went black in my head.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Everything went into slow motion. I remember the woman, it was like in my face going, you're going to have a lot of work ahead of you. You're going to have to be spending hours in therapy rooms and clinics. And I remember feeling that I was going invisible like that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
no i don't want to do this i don't want to do this yeah like i waited to the last second to have kids you know what i mean yeah and so it's a lot better now than it was in um 20 years ago in terms of information accommodations and understanding i think people have changed their ways of understanding and embracing so that's a plus we didn't have that so much
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
There was a lot of judgment, a lot of dirty looks, a lot of people. I had people come up to me in this grocery store when she was struggling and just say, you should take care of your child. You know, that kind of stuff.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Yeah. It was really an amazing thing. She DM'd Abby. So we got Abby's reaction to the DM from Jodi Benson.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And I had those moments of one time one woman in a grocery store said, you should control your daughter. And I went, my daughter has severe autism, which was a bit of an exaggeration compared to what some people go through. And I said, and she's struggling with sensory issues. Would you like to take her for the weekend? Because I would love a break.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
But the hardest part right now is that, and here's my pitch.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
everybody on the spectrum deserves services and support from the lowest support needs to the highest support needs so hear me when i say that because some people feel like i don't hear the low support needs what i'm saying is low support needs which is the terminology we use today is different than the abby support needs and abby's different than the non-verbal or non-speaking
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
They're all different needs, but we don't have sort of like a protocol because we don't call it anything but autism spectrum. I'm on the spectrum. That's to me a vague term. And if we could get better language, I would say Abby has autism communication disorder. Some people have autism, high intelligence, non-speaking.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I'm reading a book right now called Underestimated about a young man named Jamie who at 17 gets a letter board. The father doesn't know the kid at all. He's banging and he's very, you know, troubled in expressing himself. They get him a letter board. He goes into a therapy. This is from, I think it was written in like 2010 or something. And all this language comes out on a letter board.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And it was one of the most amazing moments for me as her mom that like this is even happening for decades. Jodi Benson, Jodi Benson, Ariel. And then we're having dinner with her at the Grove.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And that kid knew everything that was going on from the beginning. So there's that population of high intelligence that's non-speaking. And then you've got others that might have some cognitive impairment where it's a bit more of a struggle. So there's all these different things. So if you're newly diagnosed and you're a parent...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
is to find a community where you see other parents that have kids with the same struggles as your kid. That way you're in the commonality of a therapy that might make sense. And that's even what I did. I'd go to conferences and I'd go, but my kid doesn't do that. Like I went to an Asperger conference, that's what we called it before 2013, so I can say that. 2011, I went to an Asperger.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
It's politically incorrect. Really? Because Hans Asperger, the doctor who discovered... Can you move over just a hair, honey? who discovered Asperger's. He was connected to the Nazi party, I believe. There's something that came up in his past. Got it. And that's fine. Come up with a different word because that population is very different than the Abbey population.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Sorry for... Any more questions for me? Oh, of course.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I was just finishing up talking about a little bit about... All right. Finish the questions. For new parents. Is that okay?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Well, they got rid of the term Asperger's, but it was also because people with Asperger's were not getting the same services as people with autism. This is my understanding, by the way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Yes, and she's absolutely ethereal, iconic, and lovely, and sweet, and an amazing mother. She has two kids. Her story is just beautiful. So, so sweet and kind. And they actually sang a couple of bars of Ariel together. No. Yes, at the Grove. Abby, that's incredible.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And so to make it a level playing field, at the time, the people in the boardroom at the American Psychiatric Association who creates the manual that people use to diagnose said, you know, let's just make it a level playing field. Everyone's on the spectrum. And I understand why they did that, but I think today we could say it's really not working.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Because you took people with high, high intelligence, but limited social interests, and now you've made them, instead of identifying, because a lot of Asperger people have high, high intelligence, now you've made them just on the spectrum.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Do you know why?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Losing at a game reminded her it was because of autism she lost. Oh. So she had to work in therapy to change that association. Which therapy? I think the ones with Jackie, that type of therapy. The ones when they came to the house and you guys played games. Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
It comes back to that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Do you know his list?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
It's like 12 movies. He has a whole list of movies that are his favorite Disney movies.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Yes, that was true.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Can you explain that story? Well, just the auditories. Unfortunately, we were on an airplane and there was a crying baby right next to Abby. And we didn't have the right earphones and we didn't have the right plug for her phone. You know, you have to really bring two head jacks. You have to bring the round one that goes in if there's a movie. And then you need one for your phone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So anyways, it was pretty bad. And luckily we got to switch seats. That's good. Yeah, we switched seats with another passenger. Thank God.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
That's perfect. I think that's a great idea. That's wonderful. How many dogs are you going to get? I don't know. Or cats, big cats. What did you used to tell me? You said you and Dave are going to have a house, and in the backyard, what are you going to have?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So songs have become language. It's the gestalt language processing thing we were talking about earlier.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Because those are categories of not good, So instead of saying, I'm bothered, that makes me uncomfortable, I don't like this. She put the feeling words next to it. She speaks the memory.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So every number is a color, and it goes up to like, what, 15 or 20 or something?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
But he does not have the associative gestalt language processing part. So David is having to learn her Gestalt language processing imagery stuff.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And so it's a little bit tricky for David to learn that. A lot of people don't understand that because he actually has a more clear-cut language. Got it. That's more direct. And so in their autism...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
you behind the scenes you see them try he's trying to process it wow it's not that easy for him which is why we want abby we want to honor abby's categories and memories we're not trying to take that away yes that's the way her brain goes boom right to witches eat vegetables that's what happens but we're trying to see if we can't add a bridge where have the thought say witches eat vegetables to yourself but then say i'm upset i don't like this yeah or like for example understand
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Okay, now I'm going to just give you the backstory. This is her favorite story. She does it every time she sees a french fry because that's within the cartoon. They're eating french fries. So we're in the Louvre in Paris. There's a lot of statues of naked men. And in the Louvre, she did that. Full volume. Penis!
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So she's down in a very deep memory right now. When she was much younger and she had a hard time with language, she used to do just this silly gesture thing like this, which kind of meant she was sort of trying to be funny. I actually still don't quite understand how or why she did it. Only if I was upset or if I didn't get what I wanted, I would do that. That's more of a frustrated thing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
One of the things with gestalt language processors is they use language when something happened. I used this reference before, like if the coffee spills when you're startled, and then you get startled every time you're startled again, you say the coffee spilled. Instead of saying, I'm startled. Gotcha. So it's lived experience is when language comes in.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
A lot of people are, and that's kind of why I sometimes get a lot of feedback like, stop talking. You're taking up her time. You're interrupting. injecting for her, but I already can see the struggle. I can already, you know, parents know their kids the best. So for new parents, advocate for them integrating into the world and plan for your own death. Because ultimately, you are going to be gone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
She just does it for fun, and she happens to know Abby, and she's very talented and patient, and she has worked with Abby on a couple songs to get the feelings, the imagery onto the paper, the words, and then they kind of do it together. It's been amazing to watch the process. That is so fun.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And I speak Abby, but no one else does. So what good is that if I don't help her bridge or translate? You can have your feelings, but get to what that really means for us so that you can be understood.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
But Doug, to the end, just tell us what was important about that story.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
She just identified with these two stories because I think they go way back to explaining what must be going on inside of her, but she can't get the words out. So that book, Sophia Gets Really, Really Angry, really helped her process her anger in a way that she couldn't verbalize.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
oh yeah we I think we have a lot of chips and snacks so whenever we're gonna eat lunch we have plenty of time for eating oh can we go out to lunch and get like we're talking about um kind of you and David and your future plans remember you were talking about your wedding and you said something to me you said when I get married at my wedding we're gonna serve cookies yes and what else what's the main course remember what you said I don't know what you're gonna serve your wedding
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I haven't either. Are they only in LA? Do you get them in the grocery store, Abby? No, I don't know. Oh, I think she saw them in the grocery store. We have a chain called Yum Yum Donuts, too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
She said that. But if you ask David, he doesn't know anything about it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Does that mean I'm going to have to move my room? Because David lives in a condo with his sister. She lives with me. And there was not a rigidity, but the idea of changing everything. And that's really scary. And I said, and I said this to David's mother too, their marriage can look like whatever they want it to look like.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
For example, if I were to ever get married, I would recommend that my husband have a house down the street because I'm never sharing my double sinks. That's my space. That's never going to change. But I said it can look like whatever they want it to look like. It doesn't have to be in the traditional sense of what a neurotypical person would make it look like. You can have your place.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
He can still have his place. You can still do what you do until you're ready to move in together. And for now, your room is her sanctuary. That is her safe space. That might have to stay intact. So it can be whatever you guys want it to be so that they can make that commitment without having to have it upheaval everything else.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I think in today's world, marriage can look like whatever you want it to look like as long as your heart's in the right place. Exactly.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I think we should talk about you and David, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's stay on topic, okay? Where you were talking about, you know, being a bride and how much you love David. But, you know, it can look like whatever you guys want. You don't have to give up your room. You don't have to move in and lose the space that you're in just yet. It's where your heart is.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Yeah.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And it's always been about the love of music. It's never been about wanting to be touring the U.S., although if anyone wants to know, but it's just about the love of music because, Abby, why don't you tell everybody about how you could sing before you could talk? I could sing before I could talk.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
That's a nice full day. She does have a very... What we've been working on is that Abby controls her own day, but we must be productive. You know, you can't sit around. And I think that's one of the hardest things is that I taught her, the therapists have taught her how to initiate her own day. And we're still working on that. So she knows. She loves singing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
She sings every day on a pre-recorded class with a teacher. And she now walks the dog on her own, which is actually the hugest deal because this is... Prime Los Angeles, it's very busy streets. For her to be out on the streets, but she knows exactly what to do. She has her phone with her. It's during the day, and she has that on her own, which is very independent.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And that's a push toward the kind of independence I think parents need to be aware of is letting their kids go into the world and do that kind of stuff. She does that. She goes to the gym. She has a gym membership. She's shooting content. And the big part of her day is making her hats. How many hats did you sell in November, December? Do you remember of last year?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Yes. So 100 hats in 60 days. And they're all handmade.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
She's really fast. And so what the interesting thing was, Abby went to a vocational high school, graduated, and then I put her in a vocational post high school from 18 to 22. And they do all these different programs. You learn farming skills or bakery skills or cooking skills. And it's just so that you have a bunch of skills. So when she went into the weaving.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
She had the skill of weaving, actually on a big loom, and there were scarves, and they were beautiful. But the school didn't teach you all the skills. They only taught you the middle skills, which is it's already threaded, it's already... And they sort of taught you a portion of it. But the teacher came to me and said she was so fast, and she was so good at it. And I was like, we found something.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Like, we found something, and I... I'll sell my house and invest in making her have a business. I'll make this a business. So when they said she was great at it, I said she needs to do advanced weaving so she can learn the beginning stage. And the end stage, it's like when they were cooking, the students weren't allowed to touch the ovens. The students did the mixing.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So you're not fully for liability. So anyways, I went to the school and said, can she do advanced weaving? I asked the teacher, would it be okay if we did this? The teacher said, what a great idea. The principal said no. And I went home defeated as a parent trying to create something for my kid. I was very sad, defeated. And I called the teacher, Miss Carol, and I told her. The principal said no.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And she said, well, I'm retiring. I'm just going to come to your house and I'm going to show you what you can do on your own.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And if it wasn't for her, we would never be doing this. That teacher... She did. She was the one that came to our house and said, yes, I will help you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
We started on Facebook. I started telling to my little Dixie Canyon girls who I just saw this weekend. And they started buying hats at my house in my living room. And then we put it on Facebook and people from my high school started to buy. And that was beautiful. And then we just, you know, that's why her name is Hats by Abby.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Because when we were doing TikTok, I thought, well, maybe this will help the hats. Yeah. If I say hat to my ass. Yeah. Maybe this will help her. And she's, you know, just amazing. It's amazing. And now she's filling orders and she's, you know, writing notes to people and maybe doing a video for a customer, buying the yarn, choosing the colors and stuff like that. So she has a whole store. Wow.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I think it depends on the autism. I think Danny Bowman from Love on the Spectrum is in animation, right, Abby? She is. She does all kinds of animation. Abby is not as interested in that as she is in solid, concrete, structured tasks. So for Abby, if it's actually a job, Abby loves structure since day one. And that has been a fuel to get her to her next level for everything.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And so the HATS is a very structured process. That's why I think for some people on the spectrum, structured jobs with a beginning, middle, and end are great. But for people that, it seems to me, this is just my take, is if they have autism and they went to college or high school and they got their degree and they did well, if they're that kind of learner, creative jobs might be better.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
That's not how Abby learns. Abby's always been a hands-on, repetitive task kind of learner, right? And that's what we just focused on. No judgment, just whatever works for you is what you got to follow. That's right.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I am in a theater right now called Epic Players. That's cool. She's in a neurodivergent theater company. And I have used theater as a therapeutic intervention since day one. And I did some acting stuff back in college and back in the day when I, you know, all that stuff. But I used the principles of acting to practice social skills. And I started doing it right when she was four. Wow. Yep.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
It's pretty great. And do you remember, I was reading comments to Abby. Abby doesn't read all the comments, and that's because of visual processing. You know, when you go on your device and you look at the tiny little letters? Yeah. That's really hard for her. In her IEP, in her individualized education plans at school, everything was double-spaced enlarged print.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So font size has to be 14 or 16 even. It's a visual processing issue. So I read the comments to her. And remember last night, how many comments? What were people saying about you? That was amazing. Yeah. And she was just like, it just still, she's taking it in. Do you know? And the hats are definitely a part of that. What's your favorite word? You like feeling, remember the word you always say?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I like feeling. Satisfied. And productive.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Oh my God. How come I was singing high in belt? Well, you've been working your butt off on singing. She sings almost every single day. Is that why it's happening? Yes. And I'm going to tell you this one quick story because Bob Garrett is her current vocal coach. And he's like a real coach. And my friend, Leslie Ann Warren, gave me his name as a vocal coach.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
She's an actress, singer, Broadway gal, icon. And I was scared to call him as a parent because I thought he wouldn't understand Abby's autism. And he is a professional, has worked with people in movies and things like this. So I hesitated for almost a year before I called him. And then one day I said, Christine, you're standing in the way of her growth. Get out of the way.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Call him, give him the information, and let him decide if he's okay with her. And today, she is one of his favorites. Students. No way. Yes, and he's actually in studio helping Abby on her new song, which we can't talk about, which is going to be coming out probably later in the spring. Nice. Yeah, and he came back in studio and helped her.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So she records these sessions she does, and then she practices them on the day she doesn't actually have a lesson.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
That would be amazing. That would be amazing. And so, so full circles. We've had so many beautiful full circle moments and we're, we're so grateful that, um, and we just hope that people are embracing autism and people with differences. My hope is that people start understanding that people aren't weird. Situations can be weird, but people aren't. They're different processors.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
There's different types of social skills. There's different types of brains. Embrace them all. Be kind, you know? If you see someone struggling socially, be the one to make them feel okay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Right in the moment, right when it happens. Okay, let's try that again. This time we're going to say, hi, my name is Abby. What's your name? Like when she was, you know, like four and didn't know social cues.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Yeah. So, I mean, two things. One is, if you do have a child on the spectrum, I told all my son's friends... Ben's sister has autism. I took them all aside and said, Ben's sister has autism, so if she says repetitive things or she doesn't understand you, just treat her like any other kid. Say, I don't understand. What do you mean? Try to get her to talk, whatever else. She's not deaf.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I was very upfront because when I was in high school, I had a friend who had a sister who I didn't understand who had strange behaviors and would talk to herself and do all these things that no one understood. Who would talk to themselves? This is someone I went to high school with. And so people remain...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
were afraid of the sister the kids were afraid I was afraid and I went to their house and I prayed that the sister didn't answer the door when I knocked because I wouldn't know what to say to her because I didn't know what it was and bingo she's born she's diagnosed and I'm sitting at my kitchen table thinking of my high school days and all of a sudden I said oh my god
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Carolina's sister had autism. That's what it was. And in my own memory, I just... And I felt so bad because I wished... If I'd known, I would have been able to have been more compassionate or talk to her. But I avoided her because I was scared. And I don't want any of my son's friends to do that with her. I sat them down and I told them. So I think parents should be okay with telling people...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So I'm a big advocate of anyone with social skills to practice and have a safe environment to be able to enhance their self-confidence and just have a little bit more of that I'm in control instead of the variables of unstructured language, which can be really hard for some people.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
when it's obvious there's something going on. I understand if you have the kind of autism that is not presenting, you're what I call neurotypical passing. So there's that. But then I told my son when he wanted to have the end of the year school party, pool party, like the last day of school pool party at our house, I said, you invite every kid in the class or you invite no one.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And I really wanted to be invited to that pool party.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So that's why you weren't invited. Can I tell them about the swimming thing or no? No, because we're just finishing up talking to other parents about kids with differences. The number one thing is when kids are different, be the one that is compassionate and sweet and kind. You don't have to be their best friend, but do not allow bullying. It's never okay to make fun of somebody.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And if you see it happen, either report it to your teacher, because a lot of kids won't report it because they're scared. They're scared that they might be the brunt of it, but they can go to their parents and say, I saw this happen in school today. You know, that kind of stuff, to be the difference. You know, Ben, her brother, grew up in therapy rooms. He's always very compassionate about it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And if you see that your kid was a bully or did an action, be the parent that calls them out on it. Don't defend your child. Kids make mistakes. Her brother did a thing where he was... had a really close friend in this friend group. It was my son, her brother, that was taking the backpack and kicking it around the schoolyard as a big group. But his lunch would get smushed and he couldn't eat it.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
One day, Miles told his dad that my son, Ben, was the one instigating the incident of kicking the thing around, the backpack around, even though they were friends. But on the inside, Miles was feeling less than that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And when I found that out, I called up the dad and I said, apparently Ben has been doing this because I found out.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I said, we're coming to your house. Have at it. I want you to say anything and everything that you want to Ben. Yeah. No holes barred, please. So we went to the friend's house. So there's kid Miles, the friend who's getting the backpack. He's around the dad, the mom, me, and Ben. And that father just called him out. I sat there. My son was bawling. Got crying because he felt so bad.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Did you think he ever did it again? It was just a typical fifth grade thing, but he never did it again. And that, to me, was me taking responsibility to teach my son a lesson. That even though that he's your friend and you thought it was funny because you were getting the laughs, Miles wasn't getting the laughs. That's where we stopped bullying.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
nobody should be the brunt of someone else's joke unless they're okay with it and they say let's do this fun thing that's what I mean like you really it's that kind of responsibility as a parent and then it's also just understanding that you teach your kid compassion we don't jump on the bandwagon I don't care if everyone else is saying something bad about this one we don't jump in
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
We laugh at everything. I mean, Abby and I took our, and when she was younger, it wasn't the case. It was a lot of work because Abby is rocking it now. Yeah. Killing it now, right? Yeah. I'm going to just say this one thing. Five years ago, when we were going to go on a trip and you went to pack your own suitcase, what was the suitcase full of? Stuffed animals. Bingo. Yes.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
she literally we were packing she just put all her stuffed animals in it we're going so i would have to pack everything i would have to do every so i'd have to pack for two yeah and so since that time abby's become so much more independent and so much more in her own space of herself and so together we're growing in her differences yeah and embracing them and just saying i mean she stops me in my tracks sometimes and it's funny this is
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Thank you so much. I mean, there were times when she was younger and this all went down. If I told you the other part of the story, like single mother, there was a chunk of time where I didn't have any income. So I was working a minimum wage job when she was little. And that didn't even cut anything. You know what I mean? There was that and there was just...
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
the being a detective and the interventions. And then I really saw myself as a relationship person. Like I'm old school, like traditional, very much so. And I realized I couldn't, I had to make that choice of either being, putting myself and my purpose with the relationship before her needs. And I just couldn't do it. It had to be her and her brother.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And I will be honest though, once I made that choice, and I jumped into it, everything got easier. And I just said, in this lifetime, this is where I am. I'm supposed to be this mother, and I'm not supposed to do the relationship thing in this lifetime.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I mean, seriously, I'm like... Oh my God, Abby, can I go with you to this thing? And I'm going, did I die? And I'm in some sort of coma. Right. And I'm just imagining all this because there were days when it feels like that. But besides that stuff and people recognizing her and being so kind and amazing, like the fans are... So great. And she does. She gets recognized all the time.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
We've been driving down the street and someone will roll down. I'm just going to say this. I'll never forget this girl in Chico, Chico, California. She rolls down and she goes, holy shit. It's Abby. She's like, what the fuck? I'm seeing Abby right now. And that girl I just fell in love with.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I think I took a picture of her in that moment of the band because I thought it was the funniest thing ever. And I was just so filled with gratitude and love for that girl. And it was so amazing. And so there's that part. In Love on the Spectrum, season one, they're interviewing me, and they said to me, what is your fear for Abby's future? And no one had ever asked me that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And it's the director asking me that. And I just, at that time, I said, you know, I'm not going to live forever.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And I said, my fear is that the world will be mean to her. and hurt her when I'm gone. And I know that's what so many parents think. So I speak for them when I say that.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And so I think now, and I'm like, I'm your plus one. How did this happen? And it's so great because I think that we're looking at neurodiversity differently. We're looking at autism differently. I've been so happy to be part of Love on the Spectrum. I don't know why Tanner comes to mind from season two. But he's so absolutely lovely as a human being.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
He is so adorable and sweet and kind and brings so much joy to people. And we embrace that. And before, people may have looked at that as weird or strange. Right. And I don't think people are doing that anymore that have seen the show.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And that's what I hope for all people with differences, whether it's more of the antisocial autism or a different kind of autism that people just have a little bit more kindness to people with all disabilities too.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
There's been a lot of risks like... But I always say like the risk from her walking the dog on her own, from her jumping into the vocal training with Bob Garrett, were all risks. But if I let my fear get in the way of her growth, then I did a bad job. Because it's a balance between those two things. Look, if the coach didn't work out for the singing thing, you'd say this isn't working out.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
We tried it, it failed. If she walked the dog and she got scared and called me, she had her phone, she could call me and say, I can't do this. Then that didn't work, but at least we tried. I think sometimes, especially in the neurodivergent world, in the autism world, when kids have obvious struggles, we worry. Because we're trying to protect them. But we get our kids until they're 18.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
We have to train them for the front lines of life, even if they're neurotypical. My son was working at 12. He worked at the summer camp. And I wanted him to have that same get in the world, jump in, and just do the best you can for who you are. We're not saying you have to be the CEO of a company.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
We're just wanting you to have all the skills so that whatever you choose to do in life, you're prepared and you're confident and you know how to solve problems.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
do you know so both of them have had kind of their own thing and i'm i'm proud of both of them do you know and i like i said in 2022 when i had my detached retina that she loves talking about bringing up yeah she had love on the spectrum airing on the wednesday and the sunday before my son graduated purdue university in engineering and i did that by myself so i was like Okay, I can retire now.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I can't actually retire now.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
So for Abby, Abby's on YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram. No way. Hats by Abby. So please follow her. We're doing more like long form, kind of like behind the scenes of Abby's life on her YouTube channel. Um, and then I'm also on YouTube as Christine Abbey's mom and I do long form. My long form is kind of educational. I want to share with people just tools. What did I do? What worked?
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
What didn't work? What did I wish I knew? Because the interventions are key for her success for sure. And then my shorts are just kind of like fun stuff. And then Instagram, Christine Abbey's mom.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
buy a hat yes you can buy a hat and hats by abby so you can buy a hat or merch you know it's funny people will write to us and say abby did her merch store before love on the spectrum that came from tiktok no way well because we show people in her thoughts as you see she has these associations and comes up with really funny lines and the new one is witches eat vegetables so that might be going on a shirt yes no everyone if you like the episode comment witches eat vegetables down below
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Jodie Benson. So that would be cool. Anything's possible. And she's actually scheduled to sing at the Greek Theater.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
In LA in April for Autism Awareness for Light It Up Blue. That's so cool. Wow.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
and um yeah because um steven stills is very involved there so that would be that i believe is happening so wow how cool amazing well thank you for being here thank you so much for seriously sharing your story i know a lot of lives are going to be changed by by this interview so thank you so much thank you so much for having us here and letting us share with you guys it means the world it really does we're honored we are truly honored we're honored too
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I think Abby might want some Chardonnay.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
That's so cool. When she was 12, she had this moment where, look, language was really hard because I didn't know what she was feeling. I didn't know what she was thinking. I didn't know what was happening. So you have to be like a detective. It's very difficult from the caregiver point of view because they're not able to really express like, I don't like school because blank. You just don't know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
But one day she was sitting on her bed. She was 12 and she was very frustrated. And she was just in a self-awareness moment. And she just turned to me and said, my stupid brain, why won't it do what I'm telling it to do? And she went, my stupid brain. And then she said, I just want to take it out and give it to someone else and take a typical kid's brain and put it in my head.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And then I said, why are you so angry? And she said, because I want what typical kids have.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And I said, my fear is that the world will be mean to her and hurt her when I'm gone.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
some things that were really stupid like me if i was like the funny mom the first graders would like me more and then therefore they'd like her more like i was like acting like i mean there were moments of like that like in the lineup on the play yard when she was in the typical school like i'd be all like cool like to help bridge how she was interpreted it's like fail that didn't work yeah
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
First graders are not going to respond to that crazy mother over there. I think she's cool because she's dancing on the play yard. You know what I mean? Like I did that. I did therapies. I did interventions. I went to every conference and seminar that I could to learn more about this. So I've seen some of the autism greats over my lifetime. Because I went everywhere.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Temple Grandin is one of the most famous people with autism. I went to her seminars when Abby was four. I have a book from Temple Grandin that says, Signed to Abby, which I have as one of my archival, that's one of my family heirlooms. But I said to myself back then, what did her mother do? And I found that her mother, Eustacia Cutler, was speaking at some conference. So I ran to that conference.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
It wasn't even that many people. It was like 50 people in a room, which was insane because these conferences have thousands. And met her, listened to her, took notes. I have a book from Eustacia Cutler signed to Christine. Wow. So I've got the book from Temple to her and the mother's book signed to me. And then I went to Chico State University and I got to do a speech and talk to their community.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
And I brought my book. From Temple to show those people in the audience that I was them at one point, sitting in the audience just trying to figure this stuff out. And I talked about the mother. I held that book up. And then Temple Grandin, who was the afternoon keynote speaker of the same event, stood up and was in my speaking engagement.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
She was? And I didn't know she was going to be there listening to me. And you're like, I have to. So I was like, okay, I can retire now. I can go to heaven. Like my life is made. Whatever the universe has in store for me. Like that moment was truly, it just made me want to say believe in dreams. Believe in your hope. Focus on the positive. Because if that could happen.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
I can't wait to win the lottery. I know.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Everything that has happened since that, like with her being accepted, she says it best. How does it make you feel? It's the same for me. I feel like she's accepted. It's not about celebrity or people recognizing you. I am so grateful for every single person that just says, we love you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
yeah like for us it's just like liquid gold i mean it's those moments of just gratitude and human connection and just that acceptance and we hope that other people like abby and their caregivers that when they're out in the world that other people will embrace their differences rather than judge them yeah that's what i'm hoping
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Because it's very, very difficult when you're at the elementary school and she's having a meltdown because the bell went off and all the parents are staring at you.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Because of auditory. It was hurtful. It hurt your ears. See, a bell to me is a pain. It's annoying. But it hurts her ears. It's painful. And that's the difference because she's processing auditory sound very differently than I am.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Amazing and... Tay, his wife, is also amazing and lovely. And they just made Abby feel and me so welcomed and just kind of go with the flow. We had a really great time with them. That's awesome. And what's their dog's name? Remy.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
That's their dog. What kind of dog was Remy? I can't remember, but beautiful dog.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
Cute. We have a puppy at our house now, so that's been amazing. You have a puppy? My son came back from Indiana with a puppy that's a mini Australian Shepherd.
The Unplanned Podcast with Matt & Abby
Love on the Spectrum: Why Abbey Romeo wants to get married
cute and I've never actually had a small dog in my life I've only had big dogs so we're in love with this little this little angel well yeah I was listening to you guys on the squeeze and you said that your dog Clementine is 75 pounds that's a big dog that's a big dog yeah big baby big dog we love her she's a mixed we rescued her