Adam Burke

Construction on the dam was just about to begin when it was suddenly and unexpectedly derailed by the fact that a bunch of beavers had gone ahead and built a far better dam the weekend before. Not only that, they'd used nothing but locally sourced, sustainable, and renewable materials, all at no cost to the taxpayer.

While farmers often decry beavers as a destructive nuisance, felling trees and creating toothy mayhem, these particular rodents seem to have filled out all of the required permits and permissions, building as they did far from any inhabited farm. We get it, beavers, you're better than us. Beavers...

While farmers often decry beavers as a destructive nuisance, felling trees and creating toothy mayhem, these particular rodents seem to have filled out all of the required permits and permissions, building as they did far from any inhabited farm. We get it, beavers, you're better than us. Beavers...

While farmers often decry beavers as a destructive nuisance, felling trees and creating toothy mayhem, these particular rodents seem to have filled out all of the required permits and permissions, building as they did far from any inhabited farm. We get it, beavers, you're better than us. Beavers...

I love how folksy that sounds. You know, like, my father is Mr. Balzac. Call me Balzac. But his grandfather was the jaws of death and his grandfather before me.

I love how folksy that sounds. You know, like, my father is Mr. Balzac. Call me Balzac. But his grandfather was the jaws of death and his grandfather before me.

I love how folksy that sounds. You know, like, my father is Mr. Balzac. Call me Balzac. But his grandfather was the jaws of death and his grandfather before me.

I love the thought of someone showing up to NPR for the first day, seeing you guys, and like, man, Ira Glass does not look how he can.

I love the thought of someone showing up to NPR for the first day, seeing you guys, and like, man, Ira Glass does not look how he can.

I love the thought of someone showing up to NPR for the first day, seeing you guys, and like, man, Ira Glass does not look how he can.

This is like when you're watching Netflix, and it shows you ads for Netflix, and it's like, I'm already watching, I can't watch more Netflix while I'm watching Netflix Netflix, and then you realize you're talking to Netflix.

This is like when you're watching Netflix, and it shows you ads for Netflix, and it's like, I'm already watching, I can't watch more Netflix while I'm watching Netflix Netflix, and then you realize you're talking to Netflix.

This is like when you're watching Netflix, and it shows you ads for Netflix, and it's like, I'm already watching, I can't watch more Netflix while I'm watching Netflix Netflix, and then you realize you're talking to Netflix.

Can we find this ex-girlfriend and give her an award for creating the perfect metaphor for Bitcoin? It really is amazing. Because it's either worth everything or it's just another piece of garbage.

Can we find this ex-girlfriend and give her an award for creating the perfect metaphor for Bitcoin? It really is amazing. Because it's either worth everything or it's just another piece of garbage.

Can we find this ex-girlfriend and give her an award for creating the perfect metaphor for Bitcoin? It really is amazing. Because it's either worth everything or it's just another piece of garbage.

What do you pair cocaine with other than a 14-hour-long story about your dad?

What do you pair cocaine with other than a 14-hour-long story about your dad?

What do you pair cocaine with other than a 14-hour-long story about your dad?

Is that the only reason people get into the priesthood in the first place? Jokey, how did Vanessa do in our quiz?