This week, we're live in Durham with special guest Lewis Black and panelists Dulcé Sloan, Alonzo Bodden, and Adam BurkeLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy
Chapter 1: What is the purpose of this podcast episode?
Support for NPR and the following message come from Jarl and Pamela Moan, thanking the people who make public radio great every day, and also those who listen.
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Sink your teeth into me, North Carolina. I'm your hot and saucy Bill McHugh. Yeah! I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at DPAC in Durham, North Carolina, Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Thank you all so much. We are delighted to be back in Durham, a place known for polite and kind southern gentlemen, just like the Jason Isaacs character in The White Lotus.
Later on, we're going to be talking to the comedian Louis Black, famous for his back-in-black rants on The Daily Show and for playing anger itself in Inside Out, and also a proud graduate of the University of North Carolina. I know that's a little surprising, but that's why he sometimes shouts at people in a drawl. We want to hear your delightful regional accent. Give us a call to play our games.
Chapter 2: Who is the special guest comedian this week?
The number is 1-888-924-8924. That's 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hey, Peter, this is Tim calling from Swarthmore, Pennsylvania, right outside of the greatest city in the world, Philadelphia.
Okay. I'm glad you clarified because I wasn't quite sure what you were going to say. Philadelphia. Swarthmore, I know, famous for its college. What do you do there?
Correct. I actually don't work at Swarthmore, but I work in higher ed communications at another local university.
Oh, really? So you live in Swarthmore where Swarthmore College is, but you're like to hell with you when you work for somebody else. You got that right. You know, sometimes you just got to get away. Yeah, I understand. Rebel, why don't you? Yeah. Well, welcome to the show, Tim. Let me introduce you to our panel this week.
First, he's a comedian you can see at the Wall Comedy Club in Bakersfield, California on May 3rd. It's Alonzo Bowden. Hello, sir.
How are you?
I'm good. How are you doing? Next, he's a comedian and the host of the 5 o'clock Somewhere News on Instagram, and he'll be opening for W. Kamau Bell at Chicago's Den Theater on April 26th. It's Adam Burke. Hello. Hi. Adam, good to talk to you. And she is a comedian you can see on tour in Honolulu April 25th, Nashville May 2nd, and St. Louis on May 3rd. It's Dulce Sloan. Tim, welcome to the show.
You, of course, are going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill, as he always does, is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose in your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Let's do it. Let's. Your first quote is about a university's response to threatened funding cuts.
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Chapter 3: What are the latest news trends discussed on the show?
That just sounds like a way to break all of your dishware.
Yeah. And should you make things heavier, too? Like, should you have a broom made out of lead? You should make your bed with a weighted blanket. You should clean your toilet with a brush attached to a 40-pound kettlebell.
I'm just wondering, how big would your house have to be to be able to build up speed doing chores? I mean, if you could afford a house that big, you could get a personal trainer. That's true. And also someone to do the chores for you.
Adam, this week we read about a mathematical formula. BDE equals FAM6 plus FR2, and it goes on. It's part of a complicated new equation that calculates the perfect what. I think I know what BDE is. It's not that. It doesn't stand for that in this case.
Okay.
In fact, I'll give you the B and the E. It's best D ever. And it's still not what you're thinking of. Okay. Oh, is it literally a formula for happiness? Yes, it's the best day ever. It is the formula for the perfect day. And here it is, everybody. You've always wanted to know. Didn't Lou Reed already come up with it? I think he did, yeah.
But the formula, because everybody wants to know what the best day ever is, here it is. Ready? Six hours spent with family, two with friends, two of exercise, Less than six hours of work, one hour of eating and drinking, and 1.5 hours of, quote, extra socializing. This replaces the former perfect day model, Bloody Mary, big lunch, learn something bad happened to your ex, in bed by 10.
So I'm supposed to believe that the best day ever don't include no sex time? That's a lot. I'm supposed to believe that hanging out with my mama is better than ****? Wait, wait, wait.
Or is that what they're calling extra socializing?
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