Adam Burke

In today's edition of Voting Does Matter, cooks and homemakers on the internet are suggesting we dye potatoes for Easter because eggs are too expensive. Yes, I said potatoes. It's a move that had one writer ask, what in the Great Depression is this?

So this year we will celebrate the resurrection of my Lord and Savior by releasing hordes of well-dressed children into a backyard to search for colorful tubers. There's even a recipe for deviled potatoes, too. That's got to be an unsettling experience. You think you're biting into an egg, but no, it's a potato. And sure, dyeing and decorating eggs is the Easter tradition, but do you know why? No?

Me neither.

See, and that's a professional note that they're not going to have.

God bless.

It's genius.

Now you owe Mark Griffin three million dollars.

Or falling out of a tree.

Dang. It's not that.

Oh. Can I get a hint? Go, go, empty the dishwasher. Go, stop, come on, go. Doing stuff faster?

Do you sound like the same people that came up with stand-up desks?

They do. Who are these antebellum researchers for?

You know what? They're never wrinkled.

Is it because it adds more steps?

That just sounds like a way to break all of your dishware.

So I'm supposed to believe that the best day ever don't include no sex time? That's a lot. I'm supposed to believe that hanging out with my mama is better than ****? Wait, wait, wait.

I mean, listen, my perfect day, watching my favorite TV show, having a delicious treat, being at the beach, and then adult time.

I look at me and say, M-Y-B, mind your business.

That's called paying your rent.

This isn't just an electric blanket.

This is half an electric blanket. No.

We already, like we taught, you know, Coco the gorilla is a prime example of us teaching animals to communicate. Right. And she didn't really have nothing to say. Because that's the thing that y'all keep forgetting. We've been trying to talk to these animals. Maybe they don't want to talk to us. Have you met us?

And?

Breathing faster?

Single men.

Dulce Sloan. IG baddies are going to the Poconos instead of Miami because the Poconos sound like islands.

which is what I've been trying to teach these girls.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, get off my boy's stray hand now.

Could you imagine being in the and more on the bottom of this article?

First straight hand, now Gayle King. How dare you?

But the other part of this is that your family's not there. That's the other part of a childhood vacation is that you went with your family.

Okay.

What word did you just say?

Was this one of them schools that lost funding?

I love how folksy that sounds. You know, like, my father is Mr. Balzac. Call me Balzac. But his grandfather was the jaws of death and his grandfather before me.

I love the thought of someone showing up to NPR for the first day, seeing you guys, and like, man, Ira Glass does not look how he can.

This is like when you're watching Netflix, and it shows you ads for Netflix, and it's like, I'm already watching, I can't watch more Netflix while I'm watching Netflix Netflix, and then you realize you're talking to Netflix.

Can we find this ex-girlfriend and give her an award for creating the perfect metaphor for Bitcoin? It really is amazing. Because it's either worth everything or it's just another piece of garbage.

What do you pair cocaine with other than a 14-hour-long story about your dad?

Is that the only reason people get into the priesthood in the first place? Jokey, how did Vanessa do in our quiz?

Well, fortunately, I've been practicing a video game since 1982. You're all set.

Inflation?

I'm sorry, the theme from Robin Hood, everything I do, I do it for you? Excuse me, Mr. Adam Stant.

Yeah, yeah. Until he got another text from her going, oh, and he's cheap as well. Well, at that point, it wouldn't matter.

And Adam Burke. We're going to take all those pennies over the next four years and throw them into fountains and make a wish over and over again.

He really doesn't like brown faces, even when it's Lincoln.

When we get rid of pennies, what are we going to put on corpses' eyes? Or do they take Bitcoin and Hades now?

I'm surprised the French went for this because I've seen Les Miserables and they love just standing around yelling their soliloquies at each other. Yeah.

Can I say, big etiquette sounds like a French gangster.

Is it the hall pass thing?

Oh, is this a banging robots thing? Yes, it is a banging robots thing. Because you can't spell laid without AI.

And how do you first suspect? Does the electricity bill look really high?

Wait, so this is laziness. This is like, I don't want to have sex with you. Let the robot do it. It's basically me.

What is... Yeah, but what if it's like that thing in those old movies where the understudy is better? Oh, yeah. The understudy becomes the star.

You're like, honey, it's not that kind of virus, I swear.

Nature conservation can be a slow process, what with the red tape, bureaucracy, and complaints from trees that never consented to being hugged in the first place. Take the Czech Republic, for example, where government officials were poised to act on a plan seven years in the making to build a $1.2 million dam designed to help preserve a protected wetlands area.

Construction on the dam was just about to begin when it was suddenly and unexpectedly derailed by the fact that a bunch of beavers had gone ahead and built a far better dam the weekend before. Not only that, they'd used nothing but locally sourced, sustainable, and renewable materials, all at no cost to the taxpayer.

While farmers often decry beavers as a destructive nuisance, felling trees and creating toothy mayhem, these particular rodents seem to have filled out all of the required permits and permissions, building as they did far from any inhabited farm. We get it, beavers, you're better than us. Beavers...

On The Indicator from Planet Money podcast, we're here to help you make sense of the economic news from Trump's tariffs. It's called in game theory a trigger strategy or sometimes called grim trigger, which sort of has a cowboy-esque ring to it. To what exactly a sovereign wealth fund is. For insight every weekday, listen to NPR's The Indicator from Planet Money.