Adam Carolla

I mean, here's essentially what you get to do.

You get to go out and work a couple hours, maybe an hour in the evening here and there, make a bunch of money.

You get to fuck whoever you want to fuck.

You don't have to eat kids you have to take care of.

There's no tuition.

Sal and I got to have these stupid conversations about private schools and who's going to pay the nanny and what about the insurance and blah, blah, blah.

You can drive a two-seater.

You don't even need a two-seater.

You could drive a moped for the rest of your life in a pair of flip-flops and cut-offs and do whatever you want.

And by the way, no matter how old and fat you get, there's always a hot 26-year-old cocktail waitress for you to fuck.

So we're all sort of envious of your life.

Okay, I'll buy that.

All right.

Wow.

But I mean, yeah, do you ever think about that?

If your parents had been around to see you be, you know, sort of successful?

It would have been great.

It would have been great.

My dad's favorite comedians were all the comedians that I'm friends with, you know?

Like he loved all the...