Adam Grant

With people close to you, your relationship is secure, so you don't need to worry as much about declining.

With strangers, there's no relationship, so there's not as much pressure to uphold a reputation.

But with acquaintances, relationships are just uncertain enough that you feel like you can't say no because you want them to like you.

And for certain groups, these pressures are magnified.

Sherry Liu is a content creator and the founder of the Eldest Daughter Club, an online community for eldest daughters.

She's also a fellow recovering people pleaser.

This impulse started as a kid when she really wanted to be liked.

What kinds of things would you say yes to?

These experiences led Sherry to create her community of eldest daughters.

They live in the center of a Venn diagram of people-pleasing pressure.

They're female, and they often take on parenting responsibilities at a young age.

Sherry's cultural background also plays into this.

This proved to be a challenge at the beginning of her career.

Research shows that unfortunately, helping at work is less optional for women than men.

Women are asked to do the lion's share of the office housework, taking notes in meetings, planning events.

They face more pressure to say yes, but get less credit.

It's taken for granted.

She's warm and caring.

She wants to help.

When a man helps, it's rewarded.