Adam Grant

So in psychology, my favorite definition of worrying is attempted problem solving. And I think the attempted is the part that sometimes we forget, right? You don't always solve your problem by worrying, but you are able to see it more clearly as you worry about it. And then the goal is to make a distinction between reflection and rumination. I think for a lot of people, this is a slippery slope.

You do the premortem, you start to imagine all the things that could go wrong, and then pretty soon you're staying up all night just in a panic, in a cold sweat that all of your fears are going to come true. And I think the difference between that and reflection is in reflection, you're actually having new thoughts as opposed to recycling the same old ones.

You do the premortem, you start to imagine all the things that could go wrong, and then pretty soon you're staying up all night just in a panic, in a cold sweat that all of your fears are going to come true. And I think the difference between that and reflection is in reflection, you're actually having new thoughts as opposed to recycling the same old ones.

You do the premortem, you start to imagine all the things that could go wrong, and then pretty soon you're staying up all night just in a panic, in a cold sweat that all of your fears are going to come true. And I think the difference between that and reflection is in reflection, you're actually having new thoughts as opposed to recycling the same old ones.

And so one of my heuristics on rumination is if you're thinking about a future event that might go wrong and you haven't had a new idea for how to prevent it or address it in the last five to 10 minutes, It is time to either move on or talk to somebody else about it. And I like one of the things that psychologists have studied is the idea of just creating worry time windows.

And so one of my heuristics on rumination is if you're thinking about a future event that might go wrong and you haven't had a new idea for how to prevent it or address it in the last five to 10 minutes, It is time to either move on or talk to somebody else about it. And I like one of the things that psychologists have studied is the idea of just creating worry time windows.

And so one of my heuristics on rumination is if you're thinking about a future event that might go wrong and you haven't had a new idea for how to prevent it or address it in the last five to 10 minutes, It is time to either move on or talk to somebody else about it. And I like one of the things that psychologists have studied is the idea of just creating worry time windows.

where you put a 30-minute block on your calendar. I do not like these right before bedtime, but maybe mid-afternoon when you feel like you're in that post-lunch food coma, you block out a 30-minute worry time window. And any worries that come to you either before that or after that, you write them down and you give yourself permission to revisit them during a worry time window.

where you put a 30-minute block on your calendar. I do not like these right before bedtime, but maybe mid-afternoon when you feel like you're in that post-lunch food coma, you block out a 30-minute worry time window. And any worries that come to you either before that or after that, you write them down and you give yourself permission to revisit them during a worry time window.

where you put a 30-minute block on your calendar. I do not like these right before bedtime, but maybe mid-afternoon when you feel like you're in that post-lunch food coma, you block out a 30-minute worry time window. And any worries that come to you either before that or after that, you write them down and you give yourself permission to revisit them during a worry time window.

And that basically clears your mental deck to focus your attention and your energy on the things that matter. And then you figure out, okay, how am I going to use that worry time productively? Is there somebody who's a good problem solver with me? Is there somebody who's good at helping me manage my emotions?

And that basically clears your mental deck to focus your attention and your energy on the things that matter. And then you figure out, okay, how am I going to use that worry time productively? Is there somebody who's a good problem solver with me? Is there somebody who's good at helping me manage my emotions?

And that basically clears your mental deck to focus your attention and your energy on the things that matter. And then you figure out, okay, how am I going to use that worry time productively? Is there somebody who's a good problem solver with me? Is there somebody who's good at helping me manage my emotions?

And I think that might be the intervention that more people ought to try that sounds like it's just for kids, but actually works for adults in a lot of cases.

And I think that might be the intervention that more people ought to try that sounds like it's just for kids, but actually works for adults in a lot of cases.

And I think that might be the intervention that more people ought to try that sounds like it's just for kids, but actually works for adults in a lot of cases.

Well, I think we need people to tell us how we can improve, right? This goes back to like, let's turn our critics and our cheerleaders into coaches. And one of the things I've found in research with Constantinos Koutiferos is a lot of people, even if you ask them for feedback or for advice, they do not tell you the truth. They're afraid of hurting your feelings.

Well, I think we need people to tell us how we can improve, right? This goes back to like, let's turn our critics and our cheerleaders into coaches. And one of the things I've found in research with Constantinos Koutiferos is a lot of people, even if you ask them for feedback or for advice, they do not tell you the truth. They're afraid of hurting your feelings.

Well, I think we need people to tell us how we can improve, right? This goes back to like, let's turn our critics and our cheerleaders into coaches. And one of the things I've found in research with Constantinos Koutiferos is a lot of people, even if you ask them for feedback or for advice, they do not tell you the truth. They're afraid of hurting your feelings.

They don't want to damage the relationship. It's uncomfortable. And so they end up either biting their tongues or sugarcoating. And they're doing you a disservice. They're depriving you of a chance to learn.