Adam Lane Smith

Cards on the table and see what we can do here.

And that's at the end of this.

Let's both feel safe.

Wow.

Front loading with context.

The outcome, you tell them the outcome you're trying to reach.

You tell them that this is not the end of a relationship, it's to do better.

You tell them you're not making a decision at them.

You tell them there's gonna be a conversation.

You tell them, hey, it's a little stressful, it's a prenup, I know, it's weird.

You own that, and then you move forward and say, let's do this together.

It might still be stressful.

It's still gonna be a conflict.

But conflict is just a series of questions.

Do we want different things?

And if so, do we have to fight about it or can we work together?

If you can answer those as yes, you go into cooperation mode.

That's what secure attachment is.

It just moves automatically from conflict into cooperation.

If you don't have secure attachment, your brain will say, we can't do those things and no one will ever work with me, so I have to make things work.