Adam Schafer

Like, oh yeah, there's no way that I'm at where I'm at today if I didn't meet her 13 years ago.

She's allowed me to be way, way, way better than I would ever have been for sure.

That's a really good question, and I have thought about it, and I do think I have some thoughts around that.

how that worked or what i did because like i said when i first initially started to kind of date her or even date the two girls before i wouldn't have thought i would be attracted to him but what i i've if you've become self-aware that you're attracting the wrong person and you're at least at that stage because that's obviously the first step like because a lot of people are stuck they don't even realize they're in this

lust phase and like and and they're attracted to all their insecurities right so they're they're attracted to for all the wrong reasons to all the wrong people and they still don't even realize it like that's a lot of people for a long time sometimes their whole life but if you at least got to the point where you realize like i'm broken i attract broken people this is bad for me what do i do from here well you have to build with those those the things that you want like i knew i wanted this queen

I knew I wanted this badass, confident chick who was this solid partner that was going to be a good wife and a good mother and was going to be growth-minded.

So I knew I wanted all those attributes.

So then I stopped putting the other ones at the top, like, oh, she's got to be a 10 at this and she has to look this way with this color eyes and hair.

I was using that.

That was still at the top.

It was just like, wait a second, what if I flip that and all these other characteristics that are really, truly important, what if I went after that first and

And then see what kind of girls fell into that category and be open to at least dating.

And listen, I dated a couple of girls before her that I tried that and it just, it didn't work out.

But it was a good learning experience for me that like, okay, I know that I'm starting to notice that I care.

I like these qualities.

I like these qualities that I didn't have and all the other ones that I was dating where I was the daddy, right?

And all the other ones.

So I'm liking this like strong, confident woman that's independent, has her thing, her shit together, doesn't necessarily need me, but I'm liking some of that.

But then I'm starting to formulate what that looks like.

So you have to at least be open to dating in a direction that you probably don't think that you would date in.