Al Murray

This is BBC Radio 4's Intrigue to Catch a King, the smash hit investigative podcast where we try to make every last second sound as dangerous and dramatic as possible.

I'm Sue Mitchell, I'm a reporter, and my friend Rob Laurie's ex-army, something I have to say in every episode to show just how serious we are.

And I always talk like everything's life or death, even if we're just picking up a hire car.

White Volvo, mate.

Round the back.

We've got to move, Sue.

Now!

The car is just round the back, but as always, me and Rob, his ex-army, will take a massive diversion through a dark forest.

And what's more, we've got a microphone in each shoe, so you remember that we're still in that forest at all times.

And we've got one on each sleeve too, so you can hear that we're walking fast because of the danger.

Robbie's ex-army.

Because of the danger.

We've also got animal sound effects to make it sound more foreboding, like an owl.

Oh, sorry.

Sorry, Sue, wrong sound effect.

I couldn't see the owl one because, as usual out here in the forest, it's pitch black.

And in the pitch black, in the forest, when anything dangerous might happen, the relentlessly suspenseful music gets even louder.

And Rob, who's ex-army, goes off on his own to somewhere where the sound effects are even more intrusive.

At tweak brakes, just in case you forgot we're in the forest and that we could be in danger any second.

I think this is our car.