Alain De Botton

It should be putting its finger on the awkward, lonely bits of our experience that don't get mentioned in culture generally.

I think the other thing that age brings with it is self-awareness.

Most of us are so un-self-aware when we're younger.

So we go into relationships not knowing how we are trouble for other people.

And, you know, we can't

Because our parents don't tell us, our friends can't be bothered to explain to us why we're difficult, our exes didn't really go into it.

So we grow up thinking that basically, if only we met the right person, we'd be quite easy to live with.

But beyond a certain age, we can no longer sustain that illusion.

We know we're quite tricky to live with.

And that's such a good basis upon which to start a relationship.

You know, if two people meet and they can say, look, I'm a pretty tricky proposition.

I'm a bit broken in lots of ways.

I'm pretty difficult.

I've got lots of issues.

And you can share that and two people can do that.

That is so much more of a sound basis than two people, you know, very young who basically say, look, you're pretty perfect.

I mean, whenever a young person says to me, I met someone, she's perfect.

I go, oh, my God, you haven't begun to know them.

And it's going to be messy when you realize what the reality is.

It's so much truer to what love really is to introduce yourself to another human being by saying, I'm a bit of a mess.