Alaina Urquhart

Well, it's like he wanted it, but he wasn't treating people that way.

So it's like he wanted that.

He just wasn't doing that.

He didn't seem to know how to go about it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And for a man with such a deep and powerful fear of abandonment, the casual like culture of like hookups and one night stands that he was involving himself in now, especially in the early 70s.

That was like the thing.

It proved very destabilizing and demoralizing for him.

Yeah.

He wrote in his memoir, Wow.

I know.

It's like he comes off so like deep.

Yeah.

Now, during his first year with the police force, he was developing like an identity and a philosophy that was very much at odds with his professional life.

Throughout his time in the military, he had developed a pretty progressive leftist worldview that made it pretty impossible to ignore the imperialistic nature of the British military.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

That was at least partially what motivated him to not seek a second term in the army.

He was like, I just don't think it.