Alaina Urquhart

Oh, you know they get these calls all the time.

In Appalachia, yeah.

A G?

I'd rather deal with a human scary person than an invisible scary thing.

See, I'm the opposite.

You eat, you ate, you pried, and you lurved on that trail.

That's really cool.

You decide to embark on a fucking journey hiking across the Appalachian fucking trail.

And you say, this whole thing is going to change my life.

And the first time that you try to set out there, the footsteps and the baseball bats and the spirits and the broken crystals, everything gets to you.

And you get in the car with a man who you don't know if is Ted Bundy, but he says, I'm not Ted Bundy, but those spirits are going to get you, boo.

And you say, no, they're not.

I'm going to finish this trail.

And you keep it so weird that you finish the motherfucking trail.

While listening to Morbid.

Which also, like, the fact that you listened to Morbid the entire time, you hyped the Appalachian Trail.

Like, you made it harder for yourself in that way.

That's true.

You said, I'm going to freak myself out while I do this.

You're like, hell yeah.