Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa

Bang.

Tantrum.

Gift.

shut the child up.

But then you think, wait a minute, I don't want to be caving into this child's tantrums.

What am I going to do?

So this is a very simplified version of dealing with the tantrum, by the way, but it's just an example.

So then you think, I now have to do this extinction.

I have to stop giving that thing that reinforces the behavior.

If a child has a tantrum and I shut it up by giving him or her the present, then

then I'm encouraging this behavior.

So I have to do this kind of extinction where it's going to be really fucking difficult for me to do because it's going to be a lot of backlash and it's going to be really hard before it gets good.

But I'm going to withhold that thing from the child.

And then, of course, the child's tantrum gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

It escalates.

You might have to leave, whatever.

You do that a couple of times and eventually the child's going to realize this tantrum no longer gets me what I want.

The tantrum gets me into like a quiet corner or it gets me

taken home or it gets me something that it's a consequence that I don't want it's not something pleasant so then the child realizes they put two and two together this tantrum is no longer a means to get what I want I need to find another way maybe I learn to behave differently or ask for something or whatever or maybe I just learn that I don't always get what I want and then I move on and that's how humans fucking evolve and grow up so

This is an example of that.