Alice

But obviously we are all craving to belong.

And there was a time when she did belong to something before it was ripped from her.

And for some reason, those spoons come back to me because to carry around all those spoons, I think is because she had no home.

I think she did live out of those bags.

And I think being a low-level courier was not only exciting, but purposeful and meaningful and made her belong, even if she didn't know who she belonged to.

She may not even have known who exactly she was working for or what the purpose of her specific actions were, but she was part of something greater.

Like we all...

crave when we want community.

We crave community or family because we crave to be part of something bigger and more eternal.

And whatever she was doing gave her that.

It was bigger than herself.

It was the bigger than the sum of all its parts is greater than just the little part that she was doing, but she was getting to do something that mattered.

And I think that was likely coming to an end because I don't think she was dying from anything else.

She was relatively young, relatively healthy, it looked like.

And there was no need for her to end her life except for kind of the emotional psychological side of things, which is that there may have been nothing more in her perspective to go on for if she was also ripped from the only family she had left.

And by the way, I don't think it was necessarily a dramatic end.

I don't think she messed up.

Some people have said maybe she messed up and this was her like penance.

I don't think actually she messed up.

I don't think she did anything wrong.