Alicia Keys

Oh my gosh.

I mean, it was forever. It was literally forever that I really struggled with my skin. And, you know, you're a teenager and your hormones and you get it and it's cool. And then all of a sudden I was like 18 and then I was 24. and then I was 28 and then I was 30 and then I was like 35 and I'm like, whoa, when does this thing stop? Like when, I thought like 16, 18, 21 maybe, why is it continuing?

And it was really hard to, especially to be in spaces where you would present yourself and you would feel just so self-conscious. I just felt so self-conscious and I'm like, but there's a big bump right here. And then most people are like, I don't even see the damn bump, but I see the bump right here and it's huge. And it feels really uncomfortable. You know, you just feel uncomfortable.

You want to know why, too. You want to know what's the matter. Is something wrong? Why? I thought I'm... What can I do to help this? And so that definitely caused me a lot of anxiety. I started in the music world when I was 18. And so that was right kind of at the precipice and then the stress of the whole universe of music was just so much. And I was trying my best to play it cool.

I'm like, I can handle it. I can do it. But it was stressful. It was a whole new world. I had to carry a new weight on my shoulders and try to, you know, kind of like be calm or cool while doing it. And it was tricky. And my skin, I learned that my body reacts to stress. Our bodies react to stress. My personal body physically reacts to stress.

Many of our personal bodies do this, which is obviously why even many dis-eases come to us from stress. Because physically, it's a physical manifestation of this feeling, which is why it is so important for us to figure out what... gives you peace, what calms you down, what makes you feel safe and like you're in your skin and you're yourself and these type of things.

And so, of course, I didn't know what that was for a long time, but I realized that it was these relationships I was attracting and It was the level of commitment I was agreeing to that left no space for me to reflect or to sleep or to be with my friends and have those outlets that do give you a sense of calm.

And so my skin was so reactive that I said one day to myself, if I one day, I'm going to make something that fixes this, this. I'm going to do something about this because I know I'm not the only one.

And I realized as I began to live and experience so many different parts of my life, motherhood and raising young kids and finding time for yourself and getting rid of those toxic energies that were attacking me in real life, I realized that you really have to take care of your soul. Like you have to take care of your soul.

So this philosophy of soul care really came from all of these understandings and all of these realizations that no one's going to do it for me. Like no, as much as I really, really wish someone would stand up and be like, you, you're not good for her, get out of here. That thing, you, you need to stop. No, I have to be the judge of that.

And therefore I have to find my way to the understanding of how do I hear myself to know what is good and what is not, or what is real or what is true. And so there were many things that brought me to that place. Some of them were meditations that brought me there and really brought me to a more intuitive space. Some of them were just practicing the art of like, no, what do you think?

No, I know six friends said this. Well, I know that very strong energy that always tells everybody what they think said this, but what do you think? And that became the practice of soul care and also these ideas of ancient rituals. And what are some special ways that we can have peace and calm? And I was attracted to crystals and their powers and their meanings.

I was attracted to journaling and I have a very difficult time. As a kid, I had a difficult time expressing my truth. And I realized that when I would journal or do this stream of consciousness, I could actually just release it. I could let it go. And if I'm not good at doing that to someone else, because I didn't trust as fully, I can do it with myself.

And so these practices of how do you kind of like depend on yourself to find your own grounding became my idea of what soul care is, which eventually became how I said, I'm gonna make that thing to fix that thing. became this key soul care. And the idea was, to me, it's a philosophy. It's a way of life. It's a lifestyle.

To me, the beauty industry or skincare industry, just like the music industry, all of it is kind of creating how to live within the chaos. And so how do we do it? Nobody teaches us normally. It's a blessing if someone does, but normally it's not. So finding these ways through affirmations,

through the idea of really connecting to yourself and using the affirmations are on every bottle because the idea is you wash your face, you do that every day with the golden cleanser. You can also think about how I'm devoted to this moment because so many times we're over here, over there, back there, over there. How can you just be right here with yourself right now?

And so the idea is like creating this mixture of ancient rituals and where skin meets soul. and soul care because we have air care, hair care, nail care, body care, home care, but we never had soul care. Why? So I wanted to start it.

I felt like I had to protect myself from being hurt from people that I love.

I do these things called piece of peace. And, and I call this speak to me nice. Cause I, you're not gonna let someone else talk to you just any type of way. You're like, excuse me, how did you just, you just speak to me nice. But you yourself will speak to yourself in these crazy ways. And so I kind of was like just reflecting on You telling yourself, me telling myself, speak to me nice.

Like talk to me with kindness and love. I learned that from my son a lot because my youngest, he's like, he's a little tough on himself. And I'm like, hey, speak to yourself nice. And so... I think that is something that I've learned how to embody and I really try not to spin out too much. But there are times, of course, you just, but I'm like, this is really doing no good.

I'm really freaking out. And I was just like, why? What are we doing in this space, in this cycle? Sometimes you got to freak out, though. Yeah. Because you got to learn something from it. You have to take away whatever that is or that energy or that person who's spinning you like that or that trigger that's triggering you like that.

16-time Grammy-winning musician. Alicia Keys.

And you do have to kind of spin out just to be like, whoa, that actually gets to me a lot. Why? Why? I've been learning a lot of that too.

you're going to get to that pole. You see that light? After the pole, you're going to get to that light. You see that tree after the light? You're going to get to that tree. And I discovered that that is how we get where we're going. If there's something that you love, go after it, because it's meant for you.

Oh, my gosh.

I mean, it was forever. It was literally forever that I really struggled with my skin. And, you know, you're a teenager and your hormones and you get it and it's cool. And then all of a sudden I was like 18 and then I was 24. and then I was 28 and then I was 30 and then I was like 35. And I'm like, whoa, when does this thing stop? Like when? I thought like 16, 18, 21 maybe. Why is it continuing?

And it was really hard to, especially to be in spaces where you would present yourself and you would feel just so self-conscious. I just felt so self-conscious. And I'm like, but there's a big bump right here. And then most people are like, I don't even see the damn bump, but I see the bump right here and it's huge. And it feels really uncomfortable. You know, you just feel uncomfortable.

You want to know why, too. You want to know what's the matter. Is something wrong? Why? I thought I'm... What can I do to help this? And so that definitely caused me a lot of anxiety. I started in the music world when I was 18. And so that was right kind of at the precipice and then the stress of the whole universe started. of music was just so much. And I was trying my best to play it cool.

I'm like, I can handle it. I can do it. But it was stressful. It was a whole new world. I had to carry a new weight on my shoulders and try to, you know, kind of like be calm or cool while doing it. And it was tricky. And my skin, I learned that my body reacts to stress. Our bodies react to stress. My personal body physically reacts to stress.

Many of our personal bodies do this, which is obviously why even many dis-eases come to us from stress because physically, it's a physical manifestation of this feeling, which is why it is so important for us to figure out what gives you peace, what calms you down, what makes you feel safe and like you're in your skin and you're yourself and these type of things.

And so, of course, I didn't know what that was for a long time, but I realized that it was these relationships I was attracting and It was the level of commitment I was agreeing to that left no space for me to reflect or to sleep or to be with my friends and have those outlets that do give you a sense of calm.

And so my skin was so reactive that I said one day to myself, if I one day, I'm going to make something that fixes this, this. I'm going to do something about this because I know I'm not the only one.

And I realized as I began to live and experience so many different parts of my life, motherhood and raising young kids and finding time for yourself and getting rid of those toxic energies that were attacking me in real life, I realized that you really have to take care of your soul. Like, like you have to take care of your soul.

So this philosophy of soul care really came from all of these understandings and all of these realizations that no one's going to do it for me. Like no, as much as I really, really wish someone would stand up and be like, you, you're not good for her. Get out of here. Yeah. That thing, you, you need to stop. No, I have to be the judge of that.

And therefore I have to find my way to the understanding of how do I hear myself to know what is good and what is not, or what is real or what is true. And so there were many things that brought me to that place. Some of them were meditations that brought me there and really brought me to a more intuitive space. Some of them were just practicing the art of like, no, what do you think?

No, I know six friends said this. Well, I know that very strong energy that always tells everybody what they think said this, but what do you think? And that became the practice of soul care and also these ideas of ancient rituals. And what are some special ways that we can have peace and calm? And I was attracted to crystals and their powers and their meanings.

I was attracted to journaling and I have a very difficult time. As a kid, I had a difficult time expressing my truth. And I realized that when I would journal or do this stream of consciousness, I could actually just release it. I could let it go. And if I'm not good at doing that to someone else, because I didn't trust as fully, I can do it with myself.

And so these practices of how do you kind of like depend on yourself to find your own grounding became my idea of what soul care is, which eventually became how I said, I'm going to make that thing to fix that thing. became this key soul care. And the idea was, to me, it's a philosophy. It's a way of life. It's a lifestyle.

To me, the beauty industry or skincare industry, just like the music industry, all of it is kind of creating how to live within the chaos. And so how do we do it? Nobody teaches us normally. It's a blessing if someone does, but normally it's not. So finding these ways through affirmations,

through the idea of really connecting to yourself and using the affirmations are on every bottle because the idea is you wash your face, you do that every day with the golden cleanser. You can also think about how I'm devoted to this moment because so many times we're over here, over there, back there, over there. How can you just be right here with yourself right now?

And so the idea is like creating this mixture of ancient rituals and where skin meets soul. and soul care, because we have air care, hair care, nail care, body care, home care, but we never had soul care. Why? So I wanted to start it.

Do you think people come to that realization?

I am familiar with that as well. And I kind of was just telling you that I had the best summer. And it was my first summer where, you know, the last two summers I was on tour. And obviously those are just such a monster universe to try to like harness. And this summer was just like, I was like, I am creating peace this summer. I am doing the things that everything I can imagine I want to do.

I'm doing it this summer. And it was really liberating, really liberating. But it also does reflect life. to myself, back to your point, the connection to the busyness equaling success or the busyness equaling something positive. When surely there's positivity there for sure, but there is an addiction that I think comes with This idea of having to feel every minute and feel every second.

And also there's the avoidance that we're all likely experiencing where we don't really want to face all the things underneath things. So if we stay as busy as possible, we are like literally, we don't even have time to think about those things or to reflect on those things. And so I do understand that lifestyle because I feel like for quite a while, I didn't even, I would just say yes because...

I'm used to saying yes.

Right? And I realized, wait, okay, you don't have to say yes. So do you want to say yes? Do you actually want to say yes? Or do you just feel obligated to say yes for any number of reasons? So I think it's very powerful. I think you're right. There's totally the drama that we are experiencing. We've been conditioned. That's the right word. Right? It's around us. It's what we see every day.

We've seen our parents experience it in different ways. We've seen our friends experience it. go through it in different ways, and therefore that becomes the normal for us. And when we kind of crave it, we become addicted to it, even without knowing it.

So I think that practice of like that perhaps is one of the opening when you said, how did you get to a place where you could find yourself in a place where you are, I think part of that practice really did have to come to spending time with myself. And I made every excuse why I couldn't spend time with my kids. I can't do it. My kids, you know, I can't leave them by themselves.

I can't do it because I got to, you know, who else is going to do? I got to feed the family. You know, we got to do. And they all seem valid. Makes sense to me. Yeah, that's true. Your kids, you should probably make sure your kids are good. And if I don't make sure I'm good, How can I make sure anybody is good ever? And so spending time with myself was, I fought against it so much.

But when I started to do it, I realized that I was more powerful than I'd ever been. And I was faster. I was able to do things quicker and more efficiently because I wasn't so cloudy, you know? And that was cool. That was cool. When you start to feel that way, you're like, oh, I don't have to spend so much time doing whatever action because I actually know what I want to do. And I'm decisive.

Man, I felt so good. I had never felt decisive before in my life. I'd never felt clear without thousands of other opinions. I never felt like my own self. So that was big. But spending time with myself was, I believe, one of the keys to that.

Fix my shirt real quick. The gifts, one of the gifts that I got from my mother, I would say, is her strength. I feel like I really bore witness to a woman who was like, not to be, like she just really, and I don't know if she wore that as an armor, you know, or what that was, but I found her to be quite like, like straight and clear and strong. And there was kind of no getting around it.

And you kind of just knew, okay, this is what it is. And I feel like I really received a lot from that as a woman, as a young woman, as a woman who would have to be at the forefront of her own life and career and really have to be in my space of power, be around a lot of people that want to take your power, steal your light, lead you in the wrong spaces.

I had to kind of be in my strength and I did receive that from her. What I received from my father was, I think I also received a level of self-determination. Because I had a unique relationship. My mother and my father were not married or together. And so, one, I had to learn that that's actually not unique or different. You know, there's not some kind of like...

Family structure, that's like the main one. I think we get painted that picture so much and then we feel uncomfortable that ours doesn't look like that. But so I had to kind of know who I was also. even in our relationship. And so I got a sense of self as well, sense of self. The gap from the sense of self that I received from my father was probably maybe some feelings of not being worthy.

So I received some of that and I had to restructure my brain around. And from my mother, I think I got a sense of fixing. I had to fix everything because in a lot of ways, if she was strong and angry, I had to be like soft and accommodating and kind of fix the situation. And so I think I received some of that, which I also had to rewire. No, no, no. I can't fix everything. I just can't.

And I can't be in my relationships like that because that's not going to work. Man, took lots of time. But those are my gifts and my gifts. I'm asking that to many people. This is a great question.

So that's the complex part.

He's definitely taught me how to be like much more in the flow. Like it's all about kind of the magic of the moment and allowing the flow, like just slide into the slipstream, let it happen.

That's so weird. Like, when you do all of that, there's something about it that's just so... fascinating. And wow. And thank you for having me. And I can't believe we're in the flesh for the first time on this show.

Like, let it happen. That's been a big lesson he's given me. And what I've been able to give him is probably a little bit more of like, let's design what we want to happen. You know, as we're letting it happen, let's also like design it and craft it and strategize it and create it and schedule it so that it can really, really happen. And I love how we... balance each other like that.

There's been just so much growth between us and so in such a positive way because we really do compliment each other. So it feels natural in those ways.

You know what I mean? This is so good. And I love your show and I love your life's purpose. It's so beautiful. So thank you for having me in your space. I'm loving this.

Yeah, no, I think it's a good point. Well, first of all, I don't think... I think actually it tends to work better when there's two different perspectives, right? Because if you think exactly what I think and I think exactly what you think, then we might get to that place of... Boredom that we discussed. But what I took from what you said on board, I took almost like there's not a stimuli, right?

There's not like the stimulation that comes sometimes. And I think that might happen if you're almost too similar. There's a stimulation from meeting an opposition and meeting like a different way of thinking and then having to think about it and put it into your world. So, yeah, I think that... The flow is just because I love how he thinks and how he thinks is so uniquely him.

And it does inspire me. And yet I can still be connected to my own. And similarly, I think how I think does inspire him. He says, let me think about that more. Let me put a little more thought into how we're doing this. And yet doesn't have to take him from his own. So we've ever since the day our vows. were about this idea of loving with an open hand.

There's a beautiful thought of loving with an open hand and You know, that everyone should be free to fly as they want to fly. There should never be a closed hand over around someone.

Oh, I really like that.

You know, it should be this open hand. And so we really have always looked at it like that. He'll always say, she's her own boss. I don't have anything to do with whatever she's choosing. Don't call me and ask me to try to get her. I can't. She's her own boss. So talk to her about whatever that might be.

And so there's always been that respect there that we each have our own way of flowing and it works.

I don't remember where that came from, but I wrote a song about it that never came out. No way. Yeah. And I always loved that metaphor.

Right.

And we do that. We stifle each other and hold each other and demand these things and don't want people to be free to express and feel fear and worry when people are bright and shining. And we feel sometimes afraid of that, that they would somehow not need us anymore or not want us anymore. But there's this beautiful thing of just being this equanimity. That's what I've always experienced with him.

There's like this equanimity between us that I've never felt anywhere else. And it's natural. We just have a similar frequency that we vibrate on and it just works. And I've been in situations where it's like, man, I kind of have to keep, can you come up here with me or I have to go, you know, find that. But it's like, we're not quite on the same level.

And so that means something, you know, finding that frequency that vibrates with you is, is a thing.

Because the love is so, so, so pure.

You know, I think that anytime that's happened, I can reflect that there surely is a better way of communicating what it is. And I find that that is the most powerful part. How do you choose to communicate with the people that you love is really the key to kind of life. Like, literally, that...

That energy that you're giving and how you're choosing to communicate will make the difference between, you know, something where you both can evolve and both can say, I get it. I see what you mean. And you can see what I mean. And we can kind of find our way through it. Or they argument. Yeah. It's just a pain. You got to do all that, which we actually don't argue. We don't argue.

Surely we get upset or we disagree, but there's not like a yelling and screaming and an arguing and a chaos and a slamming and a throwing. There's not that. We respect each other too much for that. And I really appreciate that that's the energy because I do also appreciate that many people have to or choose to or find themselves in the place of experiencing that type of interaction.

Like, you lyin'. Like you lying, right? I mean, you know, as a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and visions and desires and wishes, but you just don't know what is gonna come for you. You don't know what's in your world or what's gonna come into your world. And I think a lot of times we are built to doubt the possibilities for ourselves.

And man, I mean, that is just so stressful and hard all around. So I'm proud that we can find that place. And it is possible. It is possible.

Right.

I'll find it. At least I'll send it to you. But I'll find it. I really like it. It's special. It's a special song. I wrote it when I came back from Egypt. And so it was a while ago, but I took a special trip to Egypt and I did a lot of songwriting right after that. And that was kind of one of them. And it was actually in honor of my godmother who did experience quite an abusive relationship.

And so the line was, the tightest grip is an open hand.

So many that just half done or didn't quite just come together or just didn't have that special thing enough to go to the next level or time passes and your relationship to yourself is changing. So what you were expressing at one point just doesn't represent where you are now. And so then that kind of has its own. In fact, one of my albums, Keys has a song on it called Is It Insane?

And Keys came out in like 2023. And Is It Insane was written in like 2000. But it was not ready until that moment. And then it was ready. So back to that whole thing where nothing's ever ready when you think it's time. And then finally you're like, oh, it's time. I get it.

I learned that going to these crystal shops, there's something so beautiful about the process. And I remember doing a beautiful book called The Artist's Way. Julia Cameron, I believe her name is. It's like tried and true book, like classic.

Yeah.

And one of the things that was beautiful about it is she says, take yourself on an artist date. So once a week, you were meant to take yourself on an artist date, which meant you could go with no one except yourself. And you had to think of what would serve you on that date, which is quite hard for many of us. Like, what will make me happy? Where would I like to go? In crystal shops.

And so for self-preservation and protection, we say, I mean, it's probably not going to be that way for me. Or, you know, you know how it goes for me. You do these things. And I remember doing these things. And it wasn't until I stopped doing those things that things really started to change.

It's what I discovered was one of the things I loved. I loved the peace and the serenity. I loved exploring every name. I found that if I went to one, it would be exactly the one I needed. I would just look at the way it looked and I would pick it up. I'm like, that's what I need right now. I need more courage. I need more. I need more manifestation. I need more clarity.

When I did take my trip to Egypt that we talked about, I learned that the native, what was native to where we were was the lupus lazuli, that blue, powerful stone. And I just became fascinated with it. So the more that I discovered, the more that crystals became a part of life.

My life, even in my son's pocket, I'll put a crystal if he's feeling worried or if he's feeling like, or if he needs a little grounding, I'll put a crystal in his pocket or I'll tell him, hold it, just because I do know there is something about the power of crystals. And that, in fact, is one of the most kind of secret parts of Key's soul care because the crystals are infused into the offerings.

And we have these beautiful offerings called the Illuminating Serum, which I just love because... We need to illuminate as much as possible. And they are really based on these crystals. So one's the moonstone aura. And that is so good manifestation. One is the bronzite aura. And that is all about courage. And one is the quartz, the golden quartz aura. And that is... So each one...

has these powers that even you should put on your body in your universe. And I just love that because there is such a, there is a strength, there is a power, there is a mysticism, there is a, there are these ancient rituals. Like our ancestors did these things hundreds and hundreds of years ago. And we've somehow sometimes lost touch with those rituals and those ancient ways.

And so I love discovering them. And they really give me a sense of like, I feel like I have something in my pocket that is going to help me. And I really, really love it. Or on my body.

And it illuminates you. So it also gives you that glow that's just really already within you.

So I still have a piece of inside of me that that is that little girl that's kind of like, you know, you protect, you want to protect what might go wrong. And so I find that I do that sometimes, which maybe is what happened when you just rattled off all those things. And I was a little bit like, that is so crazy and weird and strange and amazing at the same time.

I'm very moved by this because as we were just talking about kids and, you know, as a parent, you think about. We do take, we can, we have the power to take the trust from people when they feel like they can't trust themselves because we judge them on something that they've decided. And we do this as adults to each other. We do this as parents to kids. We do this as parents.

friends, you know, and we do this thing where we judge a person and now we've taken away a bit of their trust in themselves because they feel like, hmm, this person made fun of me when I did this. I won't do that. But your instinct was to do this and you loved it when you did it. You were happy, you were excited, you were giddy. And perhaps we allow

people to steal that from us, but many times we're not in a position of awareness. So we just find that we then distrust ourselves. And I think that's a big one because how can we start to trust ourselves again? How can we practice like, no, no, this is good for me. You might not like it. It's cool. You don't have to do it. I'm not telling you to do it. I'm telling you I'm doing it.

And I think that's really... important. And I hope that we can first be a little bit more conscious of always injecting our opinion on everybody as parents, as friends, as elders. And secondly, as the people who have to navigate our way through that, remembering that if that was our first instinct and we felt joy with it,

then there's something in there to learn or explore or find the color in or curiosity. And I want us to not forget that. That's a big one you just said.

Yeah, but that's probably not, so you might as well.

And the part that I love about what you said and the knowing, the affirmation on the illuminating serum is I give myself permission to glow. Because I just, so many times we just, or we stunt the growth or we stunt the glow or we feel embarrassed by the fact that we are, you know, bright and beautiful.

Or to your point about the addiction to the negative, like if we are feeling good, how many times have you felt good, but your friend wasn't feeling so good? So you kind of, they might say, well, how are you feeling? I'm all right, but you're really actually great. And you're actually glowing.

And I think sometimes we dim, you know, I know we dim our light, which is another affirmation on the candle is, you know, this idea of not dimming your light. Like don't dial it back, you know, because we do it. And it's only because we don't. We want to be kind to the people that we're around, but I think there's an inspiration that comes from giving yourself permission to glow.

There's the empowerment that a person looks at you and says, They look like, and I want to feel like that. Like I'm going to do more of that, you know, giving yourself that permission. I love that. It's a really special reminder.

When it's really, really crazy.

I definitely find that one of my go-tos is for sure a meditation. I just find that I try my best to meditate frequently so that I do find that that balances you. You don't have to kind of Fix what's happening. You find the continuity with the balance. But I do find that when I need it, I really relate to a meditation. It kind of just brings me back to the center.

It brings me back to, again, that quietness. I get a second of quiet. Even if I have to wake up before the kids, I'm going to wake up at 5.30 so I can have 20 minutes of just like... Or I'm going to make up at 5.45, whatever it is. And I really... find that settles my spirit. Because usually if I'm having a tough one, I'm not sleeping well either.

Because it's just like the internal noise and all those things. So I really love to ground there. I will journal. I find that the journaling is also really, again, I've always had to just kind of release things more freely than I find I can do with other people. So that really helps. A really good workout. Key. Get me sweating. Get me kind of like, you know, just like feel the power of your body.

That helps me a lot. Then, of course, I'm going to wash my face. I'm going to release, as we talked about, the golden cleanser is going to let me like let it go. I have this beautiful, rich transformation cream. And on it, it says, I welcome all circumstances as a catalyst for change. Wow. And so I can probably reflect on the fact that this doesn't, this isn't, bad or good.

This is just a catalyst to change something. And then I get my illuminating serum on because I'm going to be glowing and I'm giving myself the permission. And I do love a bath. I do love a bath. I do love, you know, back to the oils or the herbs. I find that even the crystals can come into play.

Yeah, what do you mean about... When you were growing up. How about yesterday? You know what I mean? How about like three days ago? As a kid growing up, I think some of my fears really circulated around. I remember I felt fearful that I wouldn't... Or I felt like I had to protect myself from being hurt from people that I loved. I remember that. That was a thing.

release something and definitely the intentions and the affirmations come into play because I find that whatever's bothering me, I'll kind of, it's something that's challenging me. Maybe I don't want to fail at something or I don't want to, I don't want something to go wrong or, and I kind of use that to say whatever it is that I might need. And, you know,

hey, sometimes it's just going to be a hard day, maybe be a hard week, maybe be a hard month. But doing that consistently, I know I'm fueling myself and I'm pouring in there and I feel better.

Well, I used to force Egypt to meditate with me. I was like, you want whatever you want, come meditate with me. That worked for a while. He's really big now and he's 13. So I feel like I can still kind of push him into it. But it was cool because he, I think... When I do my meditation, he can say every word. So can Genesis.

And even though they don't necessarily do it with me all the time, they know it and they feel it and they hear it. And so I do think that idea of kind of like just sitting with yourself again is a great practice for kids because, you know, it just has to be long. Five minutes. Cool. Really quick. A lot of the times I'm also talking to my kids a lot about gratitude.

I think gratitude is the key, key. It's the most simple but potent key to changing the energy. I know I've felt times before where I'm like, I'm just pissed off because someone did something and I'm like, and I'm sick of it. I'm trying to take it. And I am steaming. And I'll just like start to list what I'm grateful for. It changes everything, everything.

And I had to figure my way through that. There was a sense of lack that I... was worried about. I was worried about this state of lack or not having enough money or not having enough, not being able to hold on to what you started to get or things like that. I had to do a lot of work around that.

And I try to also share with my kids that, you know, give thanks. Give thanks and also pray. Make a prayer for what it is you're thankful for and what it is you're looking for. And I promise you, you will open every door for yourself. I promise. Every time I leave the room, my older ones, sometimes I'll pray with them. Sometimes I let him, you know, be in his own zone.

And I say, don't forget to pray. Don't forget to be grateful and pray because the gratitude is key. I really do feel that it's a key ingredient to settling and definitely to joy, which I think is what we're all looking for. Absolutely.

Man, I love those names.

I mean, yeah, Egypt has been so cool because even just as watching him grow and he's always been super into architecture and math. I'm like, man, maybe I feel like the name connection really brought that to him in so many ways. And Genesis is... Like, whoa. I'm like, we might have needed to rethink naming that boy Genesis. But it's so good. He's so like kind of strong and clear.

And, you know, he doesn't bend. And I really appreciate that for him because I spent so much of my life bending and contorting and shifting and changing and trying to please that I love. And he's like, no. And he won't. That's it. I'm like, okay, I need you to try to be a little bit fluid, like a little fluid on occasion. Not every time, just once in a while. But I love that for him.

I love that he's clear. He's clear and that's it.

think I've just been working on just listening. Yeah. I think that we all have such big personalities. I think I feel for the kids sometimes, like their dad has this huge personality and we have this big personality and I answer every question and I react to everything and I'm always saying, yeah, oh yeah. And sometimes I'm like, I think I can just be more silent.

I think I can just actually, let me allow them the space to, and everybody, the space to just kind of feel, share, say what they're saying without neither encouragement nor discouragement. Just like, perceive what they're saying and let them just speak. So I think the listening is really cool. Not always reacting, not always sharing, not always saying something.

Just like being more, more, more silent, more taking the space to just. Yeah. That's what I'm working on.

That was a big one because I mean, you really can perpetuate that cycle just simply by the fact that you believe it can happen. And so that was a big one. I think that there was a lot of fear or anxiety or worry around rejection. There was a lot of that, especially as I started to become more a public figure where people could kind of choose to like or dislike.

I mean, they're pretty present. You know, they're pretty present. I think about that often. I mean, I'm very much about... I want us all in spaces that feel very, very normal. Like I am very, very like about that. I love to take them to their classes and I love to drop them off at school.

And I love to like, we go and we go to the, you know, we go hang out at the park or we go somewhere, we do what we do. And I really love that ease. So I really want to put them in environments that feel like that. So, of course, you know, on the other side, they're on the tour bus for three months. And that's also different.

So they I think but I do think they have a pretty good balance about it all. And they're pretty like everyday kids, you know, and I love that about them, too. I wonder how it feels or how they affect them. They're both very empathetic. Like, I know sometimes if we're out and someone, you know, they might have caught someone who wants to take a picture. But, Ma, just take a picture, Ma.

And, you know, when it's the right time, I'm like, okay, cool. But if it's the wrong time, then it's also, but I'll go say hello. So happy to see you. Hope you're great. Thanks for saying hi. And it just might not be the right time. And that's okay, too. So just showing them the boundaries, too. But I think that, you know, sometimes they'll say, Genesis will be like, Ma.

You know, in school, they're like, that's Alicia Keys. It's like so annoying, mom.

And I'm like, that is annoying.

I feel you. That's annoying. But you could just tell them that's your mom. Yeah. Like you could just tell them, I know that, I see what you mean, but that's actually just my mom. Yeah. So you could tell them that. And then each of, you know, he's getting big and really strong in basketball and he's like doing so many amazing things. He has a great instinct.

And, you know, really, like when we'll walk into a room, it'll be me and Swiss. And if it's in the basketball universe, they'll be like, there's Egypt. Like they actually are starting to know Egypt's talent. And so it's really good. And it's wonderful that he has all of his own space. And I think sometimes he might feel like, that's what I want.

I want to make sure that it's not because of whatever else, you know? And so I feel for them, but I think that they're pretty cool about everything.

they have a good head on their shoulders you know they're kind they're loving they're thoughtful that's beautiful i'm really i'm really proud of them for all of them you know we have a beautiful big blended family and i'm proud of all of them because it's like each has such a special unique cool personality and i'm just like y'all are like really cool i love it i feel like you've been able to you know you've been in the music industry for so long i mean i want to know how

It was definitely, as you said, it's been a 13-year process. And I think that's made it very cool, like really almost enjoyable. Because whereas maybe sometimes with, because it was such a passion project, I knew it wasn't all going to happen quickly or at once.

And so I would be able to kind of take myself out of my like quote unquote normal life and go into this workshop phase with Hell's Kitchen. And I'd be able to figure out like, you know, what's the storylines? Me and the writer, the book writer would get to it and we'd say, here's the themes and here's the characters and here's the stories and let's start to build this universe.

It was a difficult journey to understand that you're never... going to please everyone, period. And you're going to spend your, you're going to tear yourself apart trying to like make sure every single thing is the way someone else wants it to be. But I had a lot of fear about that. And I really, it was, it was a struggle for me. And I, you know, I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be liked.

And then when the director came in, Michael Greif, you know, he was really instrumental. He's kind of like that, me and Chris Diaz, who's the book writer, are a little bit more the newbies. And then Michael Greif is like the parental figure. He's like, this is what we do. We do this, we do this, we do this, we're good. And sure enough, we'd be like, wow, we needed that.

We didn't really know where we were going. So he was like a beautiful guide and light. And then as time passed, you know, being able to connect with the public theater, who's the theater who did, you know, Hamilton and Chorus Line and all of these incredible, incredible shows, even the softs they did. And, you know, there's so many beautiful things that they, that created another level of like,

clarity and just like refinement and really being able to bring it to life so all these things kind of happen in pockets like you know it'll be a three-week process and then we'll hold tight for a minute be a two-month process and then we'll hold tight a minute and then it'll be six months of just heavy and then we'll hold tight a minute and so it really gave me the capacity

to hold the container for the story and for the meaning. And I would always be able to come back to it and say, this feels right, or something's wrong about that. We have to figure that out. And then when we brought in the choreographer, she became another part of this beautiful tapestry. And she was creating movement around the songs in a way that I just never imagined.

heard it before and the orchestrator who's also been a partner to me in many ways, musically, Adam Blackstone, you know, we would create different versions and instrumentals and I wrote new songs. And so it was all these pieces and parts and you could start to feel little by little how it was all the right timing.

But I feel like the biggest, I wouldn't call it a challenge, I'm looking for the right word, the biggest- Yeah, maybe the biggest growth or the biggest awakening that I had with it was realizing that I could take this moment and I could almost take everything that I ever didn't do right. And I could fix it. I could learn from it.

I could take it, the knowledge, and I could put it into this process and I can fix it. I could do it right because I actually had the experience. And so my intellectual experience that I had gave me the ability to really look at it in a way that I had truly never had before.

And then because of that knowledge, really cultivating the strongest team of really awesome people in this particular universe to assist me as a newbie, as a person who hadn't quite traverse this path, yeah, was so inspiring and enlightening and empowering to really see that when everybody is the best at their field, you really can create something that truly is magical.

And so I learned so much from it. And obviously that's been years and years and years and years and years. And even just seeing it off Broadway and having to navigate our way through, how can we perfect the story? And there's still more to perfect. There's still more to craft. And doing that and being open and listening and really just being open too was tremendously rewarding.

So that day when we got that announcement that we had been nominated for 13 Tonys. Yeah. It was freaky. The 13, the 13. It was just all like, something's really divine here. Wow. And it was unbelievable. So it's been such a hands-on. I mean, I am notoriously anal. but in the best, most loving way.

I wanted to be, you know, I wanted to hear a positive reflection back to me, you know? And so it took a long time to kind of be like, Yeah, I don't, I can't depend on that. You know, I have to find my own stability. I have to find my own intuition. I have to find what I believe in. And at least I can stand on that.

Because I just, I know what it's supposed to be and I'm not going to let it go until it's right what it's meant to be.

Yeah.

And I've also learned how to like back off to like, you know what? Let it, let it flow. Let it vibe. It's okay. You got to back off of it sometimes, but I am definitely a smidge of a control freak. Yeah.

I think that, you know, definitely having the vision for what you want to create is wonderful. And you likely are the only person that has that vision. If you, you know, pass that off to somebody, the vision will shift. Right. So which might be needed at a certain point. But I think being comfortable saying I really have this vision, I'm very clear about it. And following that is wonderful.

Then I think starting to let other special, not just anybody, but special folks who you realize they're additive, you know, that what you create together or what they bring to the table can enhance the vision. It is important to let that in because if you don't let it in...

At least I can say I really believe that one, you know, if it didn't work out, but I really believed it. And I'm proud of it. You know what I mean? And that's a big one. You know, talk about even yesterday, I mean, Hell's Kitchen, where we talked about Hell's Kitchen, which is my musical, which has been a big dream in the making. There were moments where I'm like, is this going to work?

you're going to actually steal from the vision ultimately. So I think that has been a beautiful process. And when you know that feels right, you know. When it doesn't feel right and it's super hard and it's like a struggle and you're arguing everything, okay, it's not the right person. You can let that go.

But when you do see that things or people are becoming additive, it's really good to allow that in, allow that to come in. And then you get inspired more. And you're like, oh, I didn't know that we could do that. Now I can take that and make it... even better because we've brought that part into it. So I think that's a really special part of the creative processes.

And I have learned that with even songwriting, like so fun when you start to bring additional energies into the space, not all the time. So you lose sight of your vision or of your center. So that's happened to me too. I'm like, wait, let me go back to the simplest because I've made this a bit complicated or

you know overly done but I think there's something really great about that and then you keep seeing that it's growing and it's adding and then you you can still hold space for division but allow what helps it in and what makes it grow in and what makes it better in and I don't think you have to be worried about that it's a beautiful thing yeah I've definitely developed so much

Like, what if the whole... I have this whole vision. I know what I want. But what if for some reason the whole thing doesn't go the way I want? What does that mean? I mean, you have... Many, many, many dollars. You have investors that you promise them to trust you. Can I carry this? Can I hold this? Can I manifest this? Terrifying.

Right, and I think there's something really... exciting about that too. Because I think if you could open every door, you would take it for granted. You know, you could open that door too and I'll open that door. And yes, can we open every door? Yes, we actually can open every door. But is it always going to be easy or the simplest?

No, it's going to take time and you're going to have to figure it out and work your way through it and come back to those places that you're like, oh, I got to dredge up this confidence again. Like I thought I was good in this department and here it goes again.

And all those learnings and challenges that kind of takes you through just being a human being is I think the beautiful part and the excitement and the thrill and the stimulus. And then you're like, I am willing to work for this. I'm willing to put in the time for this. I'm willing to even fail. I'm even willing. And what does that mean? What does it even mean?

Actually, I don't know what that means. I am willing to work and to try and whatever comes from it is going to be what I need. It's going to be exactly what's needed. So it's beautiful. I really enjoy it. And I really find that I'm more grateful than ever, for sure, for being able to spread my wings and be ceiling-less or be edgeless because I really want to be able to explore as much as I can.

And it feels really good to keep trying. But most important, I think the seed of what you said is the love. It's all that matter. If there's something that you love, go after it because it's meant for you. And it might not be the way that you thought it was going to be or the length of time you thought it was going to take or whatever all the other things are.

But man, I know it's meant for you if you love it.

Oh, man, this is, I love this question. I think that one of the back to the gifts of what I got from my mother, you know, she was always really kind of somehow she made me think about how I made people feel. And I remember that. I remember, you know, it would be simple things. I changed my mind about going to a birthday party and she would be like, well, how would that make you feel?

And so somehow she helped me to find my empathy and I can put myself into other people's shoes. And I really appreciate that was a gift. And so I can look around me and I can feel empathy for other people. Like I want to connect with people. I care about that. I love bringing good. I want people to bring me good energy. I don't want to bring someone else anything else but good energy.

I mean, I would speak to my kids about it just because I wanted them to know that it's scary. You know, it's scary to dream. But does that mean I'm not going to dream it or not going to try it? No, I have to. So tons of things have been that way.

Like I care about the energy that I cultivate in a space. And I also have learned that if I can't bring that energy, then I can remove myself from that space. Like I don't have to be in a space anymore. if I'm not feeling good, you know? Because I can also not feel good. I don't have to always feel good either. That part was a lesson. Took me a while to get there too, you know?

But I appreciate that I can, I want to bring that. I'm conscious of what I'm bringing into a space and into a room. And I want what I bring into a space to be something that feels good. And so I think that that's kind of, that's it. I think that's really it. And so just the distinction between the two, giving myself permission to maybe not feel like I can fill that space is great.

And then when I can and when I'm ready, I do. And that's what I want to do. I want to bring that. And I hold other people to that. I'm like, hey, I don't bring you that energy. I don't want you to bring me that energy because my energy is precious and it's important and it's special and it's just not free. I don't just give it to those who don't deserve it.

So I also had to learn the value, back to one of my gaps, of who I am and what my energy is and what a gift it is to be able, all of our energy is a gift. And we can kind of choose how do we want to give it. And so I love that. And learning when to give it and when not to give it has also been a part of the journey too. I think I'm doing better with that.

doing better man a lot of undeserving people got a lot of good Alicia energy and it's like man no more of that no more of that like you gotta know your limits you know like okay cool that doesn't mean I have to be unkind to that person but they don't have to get my best beautiful energy they can kind of

Hold tight over there.

Nothing before it's time. My grandmother, nothing before it's time.

The worst advice that I ever received was that I had to kind of change myself to be accepted or that I was, even if I felt uncomfortable, I should do a thing because it's what, you know, was going to be. best received.

Oh man, it was crazy. It was totally insane. This is a longer than a sentence. And it was, I found it so fascinating because it had to be built. The whole thing had to be built and they had to time it. And under three minutes it could be built. And then we had to have our performance in the amount and it had to be And so, and it was live.

So it's crazy to see a live thing have to like operate in that level of like finite detail. I was like in awe. And then obviously the place and the people and the vibe and the energy. And it was just like really fun.

It was crazy. And underneath the dress was the world's best puppeteers. So they were actually puppeteers underneath the dress to make it fly like that. That was fantastic.

You know, I just, we had practiced so much. distinctly that I knew everything that was going to happen and it was perfect. And I just kind of, you know, control freak until you can. And as an artist, I just, at a certain point when you're flowing and creating and writing and singing, you do just have to like be in the moment.

So the control freak part comes when I'm designing or creating the thing. But once I'm in the thing, you have to just go.

Otherwise, though, it's like magic. Whatever happens. Whatever happens is perfect for that moment.

But I want you to use the aura mist. Ooh. It has rose. It has rose.

And literally it just calms you instantly.

And it's I'm as free as the air. Oh, is that the affirmation? That's the affirmation.

And you always are as free as the air. But that's just a beautiful reminder.

serums. And this one I think is the Bronzite. I give myself permission to grow the bronze aura. So she's going to get all three of these because she's glowing and she's so spectacularly authentic. I just adore her. So let me glow in all of the shades so that she can just like ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. She already glows. So we'll give that to her. I can't wait to see her.

I think my law would be that you cannot hurt another being. You cannot hurt them physically, you cannot hurt them emotionally, you cannot hurt them, you cannot hurt another being. There's no reason, there's no difference, there's nothing that allows the physical or emotional or spiritual

We do call them product offerings. So you can kind of like gel the two together. But you're right. It's like the physical embodiment, the embodying of the philosophy or the practice. And I love that. And you live that. You guys live that. And thank you for these questions that also made me pause and think about how I wanted to share them. And I love this show. This show is so good.

But you know that already because it's like a smash. So what?

That's a great question. I think one of the things that I had to come to terms with is that pretty much nothing is going to come in a timeframe that you think is going to come.

Thank you for trusting me. You too. Thank you. Big love.

My husband has a secret son from a past partner. Hold up, Sam. How do we know? Have we done the DNA test? Well, John, luckily it's mother. May I have a DNA test week on the OK Storytime podcast? So we'll find out soon. And this wife writes, my husband received a Facebook message from a woman saying that he is the father of a five-year-old.

So that's, and that's helpful because I think a lot of us are, you know, I mean, we're in such a digital space and we see all these things and we're bombarded with all these images and we're bombarded with all these kind of like carefully crafted posts of perfection and You get freaked out about it. But I'm, you know, and fortunately, I didn't really have to grow up looking at that.

At first, he didn't remember her, but then he realized they had a one-night stand right before we started dating. Wait, but do we have proof he's the dad? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

So I empathize deeply with this generation. We have to we have to evolve as young people on a whole other level. than I even had to navigate. But what I mean by and why it relates is I felt like I grew up in New York City. Everybody's a hustler. You got to go fast. You got to make it happen. You got to stay up all night and get up crack of dawn and it's not going to happen if you don't.

And I realized, wait, you know, as hard as I try to push the thing forward, When it's time, it's time. And if it's not time, it don't matter what I do. It doesn't matter how much sleep I don't get. It's not going to be time until it's time. And so I think that that steadiness of like kind of you just have to put one foot in front of the other is just as simple as that.

And I remember when I did my first marathon, I ran in Greece and I figured I'd never do another marathon. So I might as well do something unforgettable. But I couldn't figure out how I was going to make it. Everything hurt. My feet hurt. My back hurt. My lower back hurt. My abs hurt. My body ached. And I couldn't figure out how am I going to get there?

And I remember I was running with my friend who trained with me and helped me. And he said, you see that pole? you're going to get to that pole. You see that light after the pole, you're going to get to that light. You see that tree after the light, you're going to get to that tree. And it was literally that step by step.

And so I discovered that that is how we get where we're going, like this increment of small determined moments. And so I think that as well as coupled with Taking that negative talk out of your space, like being very conscious, it happens, it's in your head, you hear it, you're like... Tell yourself the opposite thing. I mean, that's how I started to really get into affirmations, which...

I realized that I had to create what I wanted to hear. And oftentimes it's so many times it's the barrage of everyone else's doubts and fears and your parents, you inherited theirs and you inherited all your peers' things and you got all these things inside you that are not even yours. And so I had to create this connection with affirmations that allowed me to say what I wanted to hear.

And so I had to become very mindful to notice the negative so that I could replace it. And when I did that, it really changed everything. It changed a bunch. And I had to stop saying things that I heard my mother say. I had to stop saying things that I heard whoever else I trusted say, because it wasn't serving me. Because she had picked up some stuff that I didn't need to pick up.

I didn't need to hold it. Stuff like that has been how. How many marathons have you done now? I've done two. Okay, that's impressive. I did Greece and I did New York.

And I realized the craziest thing. I realized that what I was experiencing, that ache, that pain, that lower back, the thing was childbirth. I didn't know that because the first time I hadn't given birth. But when I gave birth, I recognized the sensations. And it was similar to a marathon.

Wow.

It was kind of crazy. But there was a strength there that, you know, was really empowering. So only two. My brother's trying to get me to do another one. I'm like, nah, B. I'm not doing it.

When you do it, it's phenomenal. And you really discover that your mind is stronger than your physical being. And you really can find this place that you didn't know you could.

My affirmation depends on the day, right? So today my affirmation is just, I'm going to be on time. I struggle to get my kids to school on time. It's killing me. My youngest son has just changed schools and he's going to another school. So now I'm taking both kids to two separate places. I'm struggling. And my second affirmation is I forgive myself. It's okay. Like grace. Have grace for yourself.

You're trying your best. It's not like you're messing around and doing whatever. You're really trying your best and you're going to figure out the rhythm of this thing. Have some grace.

It's more than a notion. You think, I could do this if I just leave by this time. And for whatever reason, that time comes and goes over and over. So it's all good.

And it all comes from a good place, but I think sometimes we can beat ourselves up so badly about things that, you know, we can just give ourselves a little bit of a break and we can start again and try again and it's okay.

You know, I really try not to do that. I really do. Like I really, I feel like I have a pretty good sense of self. And I feel like I have a pretty good sense also of like reality. And so I don't over obsess myself. And I don't over kind of like, I'm not overly mean to myself, but I did think about that the other day. And I said, I did this. I didn't put it up yet, but I did this.

This is not the time to shut down the diversity of voices. We've seen on this stage talented, hardworking people from different backgrounds with different points of view, and it changes the game. DEI is not a threat, it's a gift. And the more voices, the more powerful the sound. When destructive forces try to burn us down, we rise from the ashes like a phoenix.