Alison Rosen

The United States Postal Service says it's planning to largely eliminate next day delivery for first class mail as part of its push to cut costs and reduce its budget deficit. Currently more than 40% of first class mail is delivered in one day. The slower delivery would result from the decision to shut about half of its 487 mail processing centers nationwide. Shouldn't we be working toward getting rid of this sort of vestige of the past?

No, joskus ajattelen sitä, että laittaa maailma menemään rauhassa, joka on edelleen täällä. Mutta sitten ajattelin, että ymmärrän kommunikaatiolla, että miksi sinun täytyy lähettää jotain. Mutta on asioita, joita sinun täytyy lähettää, kuten todellisia fyysisiä asioita.

Current standards call for delivering first class mail in one to three days within the continental United States. Under the planned cutbacks, those delivery times would increase to two or three days, potentially creating problems for clients of Netflix, who would like their next episodes of Mad Men to arrive in one day, or procrastinators who like to pay bills as late as possible. To them I say, at least pay your bills online.

You know, I walked by a church, the priests were like, thank God! Pennsylvania is thick with diddlers right now. Right. Sports diddlers. Is that a weird open crotch shot? We're looking at the Brooke Shields video now. Remember that? I didn't know she had a perm back then.

A growing number of theaters and performing groups across the country are setting aside what they call tweet seats, which are in-house seats for patrons to live tweet during performances. Ron Dildeen, the executive director for Shakespeare Festival St. Louis, an outdoor theater festival that began using tweet seats two years ago,

said tweet seats have become a national trend. Coast to coast theaters are experimenting with how to use tweet seats effectively. The arts are evolving right now. They are participatory. Social media is a tool we rely on, and we have been unafraid to experiment with it. Wow, you're such heroes. Just like the guys who went in the buildings on 9-11, because you came up with some folding chairs, put a foam core sign that said tweet seats. And by the way, wrote tweet and seats in pale yellow on a white sign, so it doesn't read at all.

Kyllä. Mielestäni jotkut heillä on erityinen interaktiivinen asia. He twiittelevat programmiinsa ja asioita. Kuten kun menet museolle. Ei kuitenkaan kuten kun voit löytää auton. He antaa sinulle asiaa kuunnella, jota en koskaan kuunnella. Mielestäni se on yllättävää ja huonoa. Katsotaanpa, mitä tyttöjä näyttävät twiittisitseissä. Mielestäni tyttöjä voisi asua twiittisitseissä.

Okei, niin katsotaanpa. Nämä ovat muutamia tutkimuksia keskustelun järjestelmällä Experian Simmonsilla, jotka määrittelevät koulutuspreferensseja erilaisista poliittisista ideologioista. Ja raportti on valmisteltu yksilöllisesti Entertainment Weeklyin. Okei, niin tässä on ne, jotka sopivat liberaldemokraattisiin. Ja ne sopivat ihmisiä, jotka tunnistavat itseään liberaldemokraattisen tai konservatiivisen republikanin.

30 Rock, Parks and Recreation, The View. The View? No, they were on such a roll, and then they put The View in there. Shows that skew female tend to do better among Dems, while male-friendly shows tend to perform higher among Republicans. Glee, Modern Family, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Treme...

Late Show with David Letterman and Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Right. Okay. Conservative Republican favorites. Swamp Loggers. Oh, that's scary. Top Shot. The Bachelor. Must that be political? Have you seen the current ad for The New Bachelor? It's just a woman crying. And then it's like, The Bachelor is returning. So exploitative. Castle. Myth...

Like that show with Jessica Simpson where she traveled around. Yeah, the beauty. Yes. International beauty, whatever it is. I know that you recorded all of those shows. Right. American Pickers, Pawn Stars, Swamp People, Swamp Loggers and Swamp People. Wow. Jesus Christ. A lot of swamp action. The Middle. The Middle. Now that's weird. That does well with liberals too, evidently. That's a good show. Yeah.

You can see that from fucking outer space. Yeah. All right. Yeah, all right. I knew the mentalists would have to be on there, too. Consumer Reports. Americans' top holiday dreads. These are things that Americans fear around the holidays. Number 11. 12% of people dread holiday tipping.

Oletko tarkoittanut maailman ja muuta? Kyllä, mutta ajattelin, että kun elät New Yorkissa, se on iso asia. Esimerkiksi, jos elät asemassa, jossa on monia toimenpiteitä ja erilaisia ihmisiä. Olet aina sanonut, että he tekevät suurin osa rahansa tämän kesän aikana. Silloin sinä olet hänet, jos et anna heille yhtä paljon rahaa.

No, just the deck you could lay out. So, being nice. Having to be nice. 15% of people dread being nice. Having to attend holiday parties or events. Oh, please, that's nice. Okay, I'll just get through these. Disappointing gifts. I'm tired. Screw it. God, if you can't handle going to a holiday party, fuck yourself.

Oh yeah. Mine are not at all as severe as Brian's situation. Eat more pussy. I had mentioned that I have a family history of ovarian cancer, so I went in for a couple of screening tests thinking that it would be a totally clean bill of health. I don't know why I thought that. I think because I've just never had surgery or never been in the hospital. I've always been very lucky in that way.

Minulla oli pitävä saada taitoja. Se oli suurin rauha, jonka olin kokeillut. Viimeisenä olin saapunut agressiivisen rectal-examinin loppuun. Olet jatkanut tarkemmin, kun ihminen laittoi minua pukkiin. Minulla on joitain ovariaalit, ja heidän täytyy mennä... He tekevät myös syrjintä, ja se oli ylöspäin syrjinnän markkinoinnista, mutta syrjinnät voivat olla ylöspäin.

Joten heidän täytyy mennä ja tutustua sisään ja tutustua, mitä tapahtuu. Voivatko he käyttää yläkoulua tämän ajan? Ei, heidän täytyy mennä kouluun. Niin, olen nähnyt, he ovat menneet kouluun. Laparoskopi. Niin, se on kutsuttu kouluun. Miksi se on kutsuttu? Hei, koulu, vain mennä kouluun. Se on kuin, että he käyttävät vihreästi kouluja.

No, no, you have to picture the Kool-Aid guy. Oh, yes! Come on, baby. Sorry, I'm a little slow. Anyway, though, the good news is that since I had first talked about this on the show, I had a test, and there's a genetic marker for if you have the...

All right. Well, sorry, we'll get Gina Grant in here. All right, so keep us posted. Tell us when that's happening. When is that happening? The 27th of December. Wow, that's a weird one.

Oh, that's a good one actually. That's a good one. I used to write, usually I write writer, but then for some reason on the last one I wrote down performer. And then when the doctor was explaining the recovery to me, he's like, now I gather you're a performer of some sort. So the recovery, it's really going to depend on your tolerance of pain. But I find that, you know, like with athletes, usually you're used to withstanding a lot of pain. And it didn't make any sense to me until I realized I wrote performer. He probably thinks I juggle.