Alison Wood Brooks

If you were to ask Bill Clinton, my guess would be that he thinks about people a lot when he's not together with them. He thinks about what topics he needs to bring up with them once they're together.

And then once they're in a conversation, he's thinking very, he's listening very attentively, putting in tons of effort to really listen to people, elaborate on their ideas, follow up with them, and very actively sort of thinking about how to be the most helpful he can be to them in that sort of magical moment of the conversation.

And then once they're in a conversation, he's thinking very, he's listening very attentively, putting in tons of effort to really listen to people, elaborate on their ideas, follow up with them, and very actively sort of thinking about how to be the most helpful he can be to them in that sort of magical moment of the conversation.

And then once they're in a conversation, he's thinking very, he's listening very attentively, putting in tons of effort to really listen to people, elaborate on their ideas, follow up with them, and very actively sort of thinking about how to be the most helpful he can be to them in that sort of magical moment of the conversation.

Also, when people describe Bill Clinton in particular, I suspect what he's quite good at is listening. And listening is one of the most important skills in conversation overall. And it's much more complicated than it first appears.

Also, when people describe Bill Clinton in particular, I suspect what he's quite good at is listening. And listening is one of the most important skills in conversation overall. And it's much more complicated than it first appears.

Also, when people describe Bill Clinton in particular, I suspect what he's quite good at is listening. And listening is one of the most important skills in conversation overall. And it's much more complicated than it first appears.

So I think as humans, we tend to fixate on talking, thinking about, well, when am I gonna speak up? And what am I gonna say? What am I gonna disclose? What should I ask this person? When in fact, I think perhaps the more important part of the equation is listening.

So I think as humans, we tend to fixate on talking, thinking about, well, when am I gonna speak up? And what am I gonna say? What am I gonna disclose? What should I ask this person? When in fact, I think perhaps the more important part of the equation is listening.

So I think as humans, we tend to fixate on talking, thinking about, well, when am I gonna speak up? And what am I gonna say? What am I gonna disclose? What should I ask this person? When in fact, I think perhaps the more important part of the equation is listening.

focusing on your partner and working really hard to listen to their words, but also to their nonverbal cues, their gestures, their facial expressions. When we study listening as behavioral scientists, we think of it as all of the information that's coming at you visually. and through your ears, the audio, right?

focusing on your partner and working really hard to listen to their words, but also to their nonverbal cues, their gestures, their facial expressions. When we study listening as behavioral scientists, we think of it as all of the information that's coming at you visually. and through your ears, the audio, right?

focusing on your partner and working really hard to listen to their words, but also to their nonverbal cues, their gestures, their facial expressions. When we study listening as behavioral scientists, we think of it as all of the information that's coming at you visually. and through your ears, the audio, right?

And so that's the person and how they're moving, what they look like, the sound of their voice, the meaning of their words, and also the environment all around you, sort of reading the room. All of this is required when you're listening. So perhaps it's no surprise that listening is incredibly effortful. You need to be perceiving all of this information.

And so that's the person and how they're moving, what they look like, the sound of their voice, the meaning of their words, and also the environment all around you, sort of reading the room. All of this is required when you're listening. So perhaps it's no surprise that listening is incredibly effortful. You need to be perceiving all of this information.

And so that's the person and how they're moving, what they look like, the sound of their voice, the meaning of their words, and also the environment all around you, sort of reading the room. All of this is required when you're listening. So perhaps it's no surprise that listening is incredibly effortful. You need to be perceiving all of this information.

And then in your mind, you elaborate and think more deeply about some of it. We can't really take it all in and think about all of it. And the third step of listening that's so unique to conversation is the expression of listening. It's not that you just hear and see things and then think about it. You can actually say and show your partner that you've heard them.

And then in your mind, you elaborate and think more deeply about some of it. We can't really take it all in and think about all of it. And the third step of listening that's so unique to conversation is the expression of listening. It's not that you just hear and see things and then think about it. You can actually say and show your partner that you've heard them.

And then in your mind, you elaborate and think more deeply about some of it. We can't really take it all in and think about all of it. And the third step of listening that's so unique to conversation is the expression of listening. It's not that you just hear and see things and then think about it. You can actually say and show your partner that you've heard them.

So, Michael, just now you've made a really great distinction between talking and listening. The only way I can say that back to you is because I heard you say it in the first place. I'm thinking about this distinction very carefully. I'm compelled by it. And now I have the ability to repeat it back to you and affirm the distinction and say, hey, I'm willing to go there with you.