Alison Wood Brooks

And it helps you to maintain your engagement in the conversation. Often when we think of very charismatic conversationalists, actually, these are the kinds of things that they do. They use callbacks.

Just like you were saying, when people think of their favorite conversationalist and then they give them a call, they very quickly realize, oh, they're just calling back to stuff that we experienced together in the past. And that feels so good. It feels like it's kind, it brings levity, and it just shows that they care about you and that you matter.

Just like you were saying, when people think of their favorite conversationalist and then they give them a call, they very quickly realize, oh, they're just calling back to stuff that we experienced together in the past. And that feels so good. It feels like it's kind, it brings levity, and it just shows that they care about you and that you matter.

Just like you were saying, when people think of their favorite conversationalist and then they give them a call, they very quickly realize, oh, they're just calling back to stuff that we experienced together in the past. And that feels so good. It feels like it's kind, it brings levity, and it just shows that they care about you and that you matter.

Yes. So this is our final maxim. We made it to the K. K is for kindness and a huge emphasis in this in this chapter on kindness is about listening. So there have been decades of work on active listening. So things like nodding and smiling and using nonverbal cues to show someone that you've heard them, eye contact, leaning forward. This is all really great.

Yes. So this is our final maxim. We made it to the K. K is for kindness and a huge emphasis in this in this chapter on kindness is about listening. So there have been decades of work on active listening. So things like nodding and smiling and using nonverbal cues to show someone that you've heard them, eye contact, leaning forward. This is all really great.

Yes. So this is our final maxim. We made it to the K. K is for kindness and a huge emphasis in this in this chapter on kindness is about listening. So there have been decades of work on active listening. So things like nodding and smiling and using nonverbal cues to show someone that you've heard them, eye contact, leaning forward. This is all really great.

It's the basics of being a good listener. What we've uncovered more recently in our research on conversation is that the best conversationalists go a level beyond active listening. They don't just use their nonverbals to show their partner that they matter and that they're being heard. Because those things can be faked sometimes. They also use their words.

It's the basics of being a good listener. What we've uncovered more recently in our research on conversation is that the best conversationalists go a level beyond active listening. They don't just use their nonverbals to show their partner that they matter and that they're being heard. Because those things can be faked sometimes. They also use their words.

It's the basics of being a good listener. What we've uncovered more recently in our research on conversation is that the best conversationalists go a level beyond active listening. They don't just use their nonverbals to show their partner that they matter and that they're being heard. Because those things can be faked sometimes. They also use their words.

They use verbal cues to show that they've heard someone. Verbal cues, unlike nodding and smiling, verbal cues can't be faked. The only way that I can call back to something that you said earlier, the only way that I can ask a follow-up question, the only way that I can repeat back something that I just heard you say and validate your feelings about it is if I heard you say it in the first place.

They use verbal cues to show that they've heard someone. Verbal cues, unlike nodding and smiling, verbal cues can't be faked. The only way that I can call back to something that you said earlier, the only way that I can ask a follow-up question, the only way that I can repeat back something that I just heard you say and validate your feelings about it is if I heard you say it in the first place.

They use verbal cues to show that they've heard someone. Verbal cues, unlike nodding and smiling, verbal cues can't be faked. The only way that I can call back to something that you said earlier, the only way that I can ask a follow-up question, the only way that I can repeat back something that I just heard you say and validate your feelings about it is if I heard you say it in the first place.

So here's the advice. This is what this means for all of us. Put in the hard work to listen to people. But if you do, if you put in that hard work to be attentive to the people in front of you, make sure that you show it. Make sure that you show the person that you've heard them by using your words, by saying it out loud. Hey, I just heard you say this. Am I hearing you right?

So here's the advice. This is what this means for all of us. Put in the hard work to listen to people. But if you do, if you put in that hard work to be attentive to the people in front of you, make sure that you show it. Make sure that you show the person that you've heard them by using your words, by saying it out loud. Hey, I just heard you say this. Am I hearing you right?

So here's the advice. This is what this means for all of us. Put in the hard work to listen to people. But if you do, if you put in that hard work to be attentive to the people in front of you, make sure that you show it. Make sure that you show the person that you've heard them by using your words, by saying it out loud. Hey, I just heard you say this. Am I hearing you right?

Or, hey, I just heard you say that. That was really great. Hey, remember when you talked about Angela Duckworth and her emphasis on self-control? I thought that was a really nice point. So these verbal cues that you heard someone are so very powerful and should definitely be part of your listening toolkits.

Or, hey, I just heard you say that. That was really great. Hey, remember when you talked about Angela Duckworth and her emphasis on self-control? I thought that was a really nice point. So these verbal cues that you heard someone are so very powerful and should definitely be part of your listening toolkits.

Or, hey, I just heard you say that. That was really great. Hey, remember when you talked about Angela Duckworth and her emphasis on self-control? I thought that was a really nice point. So these verbal cues that you heard someone are so very powerful and should definitely be part of your listening toolkits.

What a great question. I think when we think about big concepts like kindness and dehumanization, I know I always felt this way, even as a child, but still into adulthood. My question was, well, where does that happen? Where does this unfold? When and where and with whom?