Alison Wood Brooks

What a great question. I think when we think about big concepts like kindness and dehumanization, I know I always felt this way, even as a child, but still into adulthood. My question was, well, where does that happen? Where does this unfold? When and where and with whom?

What a great question. I think when we think about big concepts like kindness and dehumanization, I know I always felt this way, even as a child, but still into adulthood. My question was, well, where does that happen? Where does this unfold? When and where and with whom?

And as a behavioral scientist and in writing this book and teaching this course, what I've realized is it so often happens in these micro moments during our conversations, even our private conversations with people that we care about. We're making these tiny choices. I can give you a compliment. This interview has been so wonderful.

And as a behavioral scientist and in writing this book and teaching this course, what I've realized is it so often happens in these micro moments during our conversations, even our private conversations with people that we care about. We're making these tiny choices. I can give you a compliment. This interview has been so wonderful.

And as a behavioral scientist and in writing this book and teaching this course, what I've realized is it so often happens in these micro moments during our conversations, even our private conversations with people that we care about. We're making these tiny choices. I can give you a compliment. This interview has been so wonderful.

Or I can give you a backhanded compliment like, oh, this has been so wonderful compared to all of the podcast interviews that I've done about the book. That's a very small change in language and it has a massively different impact on who you're saying it to. Straightforward compliments make them feel good. It makes them feel like they matter. It makes them feel like you care about them.

Or I can give you a backhanded compliment like, oh, this has been so wonderful compared to all of the podcast interviews that I've done about the book. That's a very small change in language and it has a massively different impact on who you're saying it to. Straightforward compliments make them feel good. It makes them feel like they matter. It makes them feel like you care about them.

Or I can give you a backhanded compliment like, oh, this has been so wonderful compared to all of the podcast interviews that I've done about the book. That's a very small change in language and it has a massively different impact on who you're saying it to. Straightforward compliments make them feel good. It makes them feel like they matter. It makes them feel like you care about them.

The emotional tone is very positive. A backhanded compliment where you say the comparison set out loud feels hurtful. It feels almost more like an insult than like a compliment. And so we're just constantly making these tiny choices in our language that lean in the direction of micro kindnesses and towards micro harms.

The emotional tone is very positive. A backhanded compliment where you say the comparison set out loud feels hurtful. It feels almost more like an insult than like a compliment. And so we're just constantly making these tiny choices in our language that lean in the direction of micro kindnesses and towards micro harms.

The emotional tone is very positive. A backhanded compliment where you say the comparison set out loud feels hurtful. It feels almost more like an insult than like a compliment. And so we're just constantly making these tiny choices in our language that lean in the direction of micro kindnesses and towards micro harms.

And I think a big concept in the book is, I don't know if I can make you a good person, but if you are a good person who cares about other people and wants them to feel like they matter, conversation is an amazing opportunity, an amazing place that we all have access to where we can put our goodness into practice.

And I think a big concept in the book is, I don't know if I can make you a good person, but if you are a good person who cares about other people and wants them to feel like they matter, conversation is an amazing opportunity, an amazing place that we all have access to where we can put our goodness into practice.

And I think a big concept in the book is, I don't know if I can make you a good person, but if you are a good person who cares about other people and wants them to feel like they matter, conversation is an amazing opportunity, an amazing place that we all have access to where we can put our goodness into practice.

And it's also often the place where we put our not so goodness into practice and we should work to get rid of that, right? So lean into the good stuff and lean away from the accusatory, from the defensive, from the hurtful, tiny little jabs and barbs that we poke into other people, because that's what makes someone a good, kind person versus a hurtful person.

And it's also often the place where we put our not so goodness into practice and we should work to get rid of that, right? So lean into the good stuff and lean away from the accusatory, from the defensive, from the hurtful, tiny little jabs and barbs that we poke into other people, because that's what makes someone a good, kind person versus a hurtful person.

And it's also often the place where we put our not so goodness into practice and we should work to get rid of that, right? So lean into the good stuff and lean away from the accusatory, from the defensive, from the hurtful, tiny little jabs and barbs that we poke into other people, because that's what makes someone a good, kind person versus a hurtful person.

Oh, I would love to have you, John. And thank you so much for having me on your podcast. It's just such an honor to be here. Thank you.

Oh, I would love to have you, John. And thank you so much for having me on your podcast. It's just such an honor to be here. Thank you.

Oh, I would love to have you, John. And thank you so much for having me on your podcast. It's just such an honor to be here. Thank you.