Alison Wood Brooks

So, Michael, just now you've made a really great distinction between talking and listening. The only way I can say that back to you is because I heard you say it in the first place. I'm thinking about this distinction very carefully. I'm compelled by it. And now I have the ability to repeat it back to you and affirm the distinction and say, hey, I'm willing to go there with you.

So, Michael, just now you've made a really great distinction between talking and listening. The only way I can say that back to you is because I heard you say it in the first place. I'm thinking about this distinction very carefully. I'm compelled by it. And now I have the ability to repeat it back to you and affirm the distinction and say, hey, I'm willing to go there with you.

So, Michael, just now you've made a really great distinction between talking and listening. The only way I can say that back to you is because I heard you say it in the first place. I'm thinking about this distinction very carefully. I'm compelled by it. And now I have the ability to repeat it back to you and affirm the distinction and say, hey, I'm willing to go there with you.

Let's do this together.

Let's do this together.

Let's do this together.

Yes, there is fantastic research on conversational endings by behavioral scientists Adam Masroiani and Gus Cooney. The end of a conversation, if we think of a conversation as the series of coordinated decisions between two people, the end of the conversation is the last coordination decision.

Yes, there is fantastic research on conversational endings by behavioral scientists Adam Masroiani and Gus Cooney. The end of a conversation, if we think of a conversation as the series of coordinated decisions between two people, the end of the conversation is the last coordination decision.

Yes, there is fantastic research on conversational endings by behavioral scientists Adam Masroiani and Gus Cooney. The end of a conversation, if we think of a conversation as the series of coordinated decisions between two people, the end of the conversation is the last coordination decision.

It's saying, OK, the next topic we're going to choose is silence and we're going to walk away from each other and it's over. And so even though that begins at the very start of like where, what are we going to talk about now and now and now and now, and then we get to the end and somebody has the power to end it.

It's saying, OK, the next topic we're going to choose is silence and we're going to walk away from each other and it's over. And so even though that begins at the very start of like where, what are we going to talk about now and now and now and now, and then we get to the end and somebody has the power to end it.

It's saying, OK, the next topic we're going to choose is silence and we're going to walk away from each other and it's over. And so even though that begins at the very start of like where, what are we going to talk about now and now and now and now, and then we get to the end and somebody has the power to end it.

So just like every other coordination choice, this ending decision is surprisingly difficult and causes a lot of awkwardness. In their study of conversational endings, they found that essentially we can't read other people's minds about when they would like to end. We're not even really that great at knowing when we would like to end a conversation. So self-awareness and sort of other awareness.

So just like every other coordination choice, this ending decision is surprisingly difficult and causes a lot of awkwardness. In their study of conversational endings, they found that essentially we can't read other people's minds about when they would like to end. We're not even really that great at knowing when we would like to end a conversation. So self-awareness and sort of other awareness.

So just like every other coordination choice, this ending decision is surprisingly difficult and causes a lot of awkwardness. In their study of conversational endings, they found that essentially we can't read other people's minds about when they would like to end. We're not even really that great at knowing when we would like to end a conversation. So self-awareness and sort of other awareness.

And because of this, almost no conversation ends when you want it to. Like, we're just bad at guessing. Which is on one hand, sort of depressing. On the other hand, I think very empowering. So it's saying like, look, you're going to get it wrong anyway. So as soon as you start to feel like a conversation is running out of juice, just leave, like just end it. It's okay.

And because of this, almost no conversation ends when you want it to. Like, we're just bad at guessing. Which is on one hand, sort of depressing. On the other hand, I think very empowering. So it's saying like, look, you're going to get it wrong anyway. So as soon as you start to feel like a conversation is running out of juice, just leave, like just end it. It's okay.

And because of this, almost no conversation ends when you want it to. Like, we're just bad at guessing. Which is on one hand, sort of depressing. On the other hand, I think very empowering. So it's saying like, look, you're going to get it wrong anyway. So as soon as you start to feel like a conversation is running out of juice, just leave, like just end it. It's okay.

The bigger risk is actually stagnating and lingering and staying too long. And you part ways and your partner thinks that you're sort of boring and uninteresting. So I think that the takeaway from this research is just leave.

The bigger risk is actually stagnating and lingering and staying too long. And you part ways and your partner thinks that you're sort of boring and uninteresting. So I think that the takeaway from this research is just leave.