Alison Wood Brooks

You hang out with Orna. Orna Goralnik from Couples Therapy. So this chapter on apologies opens with this story from Couples Therapy, one of the couples on the show. Which one? Tashira and Drew. They're from, I think, season one or two. They're amazing. She got pregnant and they started living together. They were in a really rocky place. Yes. I think it was in the pandemic phase of the show-ish.

You hang out with Orna. Orna Goralnik from Couples Therapy. So this chapter on apologies opens with this story from Couples Therapy, one of the couples on the show. Which one? Tashira and Drew. They're from, I think, season one or two. They're amazing. She got pregnant and they started living together. They were in a really rocky place. Yes. I think it was in the pandemic phase of the show-ish.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes. And they didn't sleep in the same room, which is fine for those of you who don't go sleep. It's fine. But they were in a really rocky place. I thought that they were not going to end up together. And then you follow them through their therapy. And by the end, one of the things that they got so good at is apologizing to each other. They're not snipping at each other anymore.

Yes. And they didn't sleep in the same room, which is fine for those of you who don't go sleep. It's fine. But they were in a really rocky place. I thought that they were not going to end up together. And then you follow them through their therapy. And by the end, one of the things that they got so good at is apologizing to each other. They're not snipping at each other anymore.

Yes. And they didn't sleep in the same room, which is fine for those of you who don't go sleep. It's fine. But they were in a really rocky place. I thought that they were not going to end up together. And then you follow them through their therapy. And by the end, one of the things that they got so good at is apologizing to each other. They're not snipping at each other anymore.

They're not like chewing on their resentments. And so I talked to Orna about it, what she thinks of apologies broadly and in the context of this couple in particular. And she was like, here's what apologies do. Two things. One, they show someone that you understand them, that you understand that there was harm to you.

They're not like chewing on their resentments. And so I talked to Orna about it, what she thinks of apologies broadly and in the context of this couple in particular. And she was like, here's what apologies do. Two things. One, they show someone that you understand them, that you understand that there was harm to you.

They're not like chewing on their resentments. And so I talked to Orna about it, what she thinks of apologies broadly and in the context of this couple in particular. And she was like, here's what apologies do. Two things. One, they show someone that you understand them, that you understand that there was harm to you.

And maybe it was at your hands, maybe it wasn't, but it shows that you understand them. and that you are taking some responsibility, that you care that they've been harmed and that you want to be part of the solution. So that if you can show those two things, that you understand someone and you're taking accountability, if you can do that without apologizing, you don't have to apologize.

And maybe it was at your hands, maybe it wasn't, but it shows that you understand them. and that you are taking some responsibility, that you care that they've been harmed and that you want to be part of the solution. So that if you can show those two things, that you understand someone and you're taking accountability, if you can do that without apologizing, you don't have to apologize.

And maybe it was at your hands, maybe it wasn't, but it shows that you understand them. and that you are taking some responsibility, that you care that they've been harmed and that you want to be part of the solution. So that if you can show those two things, that you understand someone and you're taking accountability, if you can do that without apologizing, you don't have to apologize.

However, apologies are the best shortcut that we have to do those two things in a sincere and really meaningful way. I really think they're the most powerful thing we have in our conversational toolkit.

However, apologies are the best shortcut that we have to do those two things in a sincere and really meaningful way. I really think they're the most powerful thing we have in our conversational toolkit.

However, apologies are the best shortcut that we have to do those two things in a sincere and really meaningful way. I really think they're the most powerful thing we have in our conversational toolkit.

I said the same thing in the book. I wrote a little story about my oldest, Kevin. It was honestly the most rewarding moment I think ever as a parent.

I said the same thing in the book. I wrote a little story about my oldest, Kevin. It was honestly the most rewarding moment I think ever as a parent.

I said the same thing in the book. I wrote a little story about my oldest, Kevin. It was honestly the most rewarding moment I think ever as a parent.