Alison Wood Brooks

And I find it quite helpful.

I sure hope so.

Catherine, I very much resonate with this in my own marriage.

I think yes, but I think having awareness of your own style and other style is a huge part of being good communicators, right?

So being a kind conversationalist means understanding your partner's needs and preferences, right?

No matter what your needs and preferences are and trying to relentlessly focus on what they need and trying to fulfill it.

So if you're a fast talker like Catherine and you feel like the conversation is moving too quickly and it's starting to annoy your partner or they're feeling lost or they need more space, then slowing down, pulling back during the conversation can be an act of kindness.

or even suggesting, hey, let's take a little break.

You think about this for a little bit.

I'm going to go grab a drink or a glass of water, and then I'll come back and we'll pick it back up.

You can give gifts like that of spaciousness or even just asking question of like, am I moving too fast?

I realize I'm getting too excited right now.

What do you need from me?

And the same is true in the opposite direction.

So Catherine's partner can do this reframe of like, I know I can get lost or get annoyed with you moving so quickly, but that's part of what makes you special and exciting and fun to talk to.

So the responsibility is also in his court to say, hey, maybe let's slow down.

Maybe let's take a break or just say like, hey, I really appreciate the high energy, but let's take a little breath here.

Absolutely.

I think, you know, differences, there are so many people in the world and everyone is incredibly different.

And we have a tendency to think a lot about how do my personality traits affect my behavior in conversation?