Alison Wood Brooks

That's exactly right. And there's this sort of thought experiment that I like to do that I think of as my way, your way, the right way. For almost any task or any topic or any issue, let's just call it loading the dishwasher. I have my way of loading the dishwasher. You have your way of loading the dishwasher.

That's exactly right. And there's this sort of thought experiment that I like to do that I think of as my way, your way, the right way. For almost any task or any topic or any issue, let's just call it loading the dishwasher. I have my way of loading the dishwasher. You have your way of loading the dishwasher.

But probably neither of our ways of loading the dishwasher is the objectively correct or optimal way of loading the dishwasher. And so nitpicking with each other and arguing about, well, my way is the best way. And then you say, well, my way is the best way. It's all so silly, especially when neither of you knows the sort of ground truth, objective reality of what's the best way.

But probably neither of our ways of loading the dishwasher is the objectively correct or optimal way of loading the dishwasher. And so nitpicking with each other and arguing about, well, my way is the best way. And then you say, well, my way is the best way. It's all so silly, especially when neither of you knows the sort of ground truth, objective reality of what's the best way.

But probably neither of our ways of loading the dishwasher is the objectively correct or optimal way of loading the dishwasher. And so nitpicking with each other and arguing about, well, my way is the best way. And then you say, well, my way is the best way. It's all so silly, especially when neither of you knows the sort of ground truth, objective reality of what's the best way.

When the emotions we're feeling are unhelpfully negative, you say, Alison, that we should reframe them in a more positive light. Can you explain what you mean by that? What do you mean by reframing a negative emotion in a positive light?

When the emotions we're feeling are unhelpfully negative, you say, Alison, that we should reframe them in a more positive light. Can you explain what you mean by that? What do you mean by reframing a negative emotion in a positive light?

When the emotions we're feeling are unhelpfully negative, you say, Alison, that we should reframe them in a more positive light. Can you explain what you mean by that? What do you mean by reframing a negative emotion in a positive light?

When we feel negative emotions, which we all do a lot of the time, we have a lot more control over how we experience that emotion than we would think. So I'll give the example of anxiety. When we feel anxious, it's a high arousal emotion. It's very negative. Our instinct tells us to try and calm down, try and get rid of that emotion.

When we feel negative emotions, which we all do a lot of the time, we have a lot more control over how we experience that emotion than we would think. So I'll give the example of anxiety. When we feel anxious, it's a high arousal emotion. It's very negative. Our instinct tells us to try and calm down, try and get rid of that emotion.

When we feel negative emotions, which we all do a lot of the time, we have a lot more control over how we experience that emotion than we would think. So I'll give the example of anxiety. When we feel anxious, it's a high arousal emotion. It's very negative. Our instinct tells us to try and calm down, try and get rid of that emotion.

People go to great lengths to try and calm down when they're feeling anxious. But calming down requires a sort of two-step move. You have to reduce your physiological arousal. So your racing heart, your sweaty palms, your cortisol in your body, those things are really hard to control. You actually don't have a lot of executive control over those things.

People go to great lengths to try and calm down when they're feeling anxious. But calming down requires a sort of two-step move. You have to reduce your physiological arousal. So your racing heart, your sweaty palms, your cortisol in your body, those things are really hard to control. You actually don't have a lot of executive control over those things.

People go to great lengths to try and calm down when they're feeling anxious. But calming down requires a sort of two-step move. You have to reduce your physiological arousal. So your racing heart, your sweaty palms, your cortisol in your body, those things are really hard to control. You actually don't have a lot of executive control over those things.

And you're trying to move from negative emotion to positive. So it's this two-step thing that turns out very hard to do, if not impossible. The idea of reframing is let's focus on the part of it that we do have more control over, and that's our appraisal of negative versus positive. So if you're feeling anxious, what if we stay in high arousal world and you just say to yourself, you know what?

And you're trying to move from negative emotion to positive. So it's this two-step thing that turns out very hard to do, if not impossible. The idea of reframing is let's focus on the part of it that we do have more control over, and that's our appraisal of negative versus positive. So if you're feeling anxious, what if we stay in high arousal world and you just say to yourself, you know what?

And you're trying to move from negative emotion to positive. So it's this two-step thing that turns out very hard to do, if not impossible. The idea of reframing is let's focus on the part of it that we do have more control over, and that's our appraisal of negative versus positive. So if you're feeling anxious, what if we stay in high arousal world and you just say to yourself, you know what?

I'm excited. Just that small flip helps move you from negative valence anxiety to positive valence excitement.

I'm excited. Just that small flip helps move you from negative valence anxiety to positive valence excitement.

I'm excited. Just that small flip helps move you from negative valence anxiety to positive valence excitement.