Alison Wood Brooks

I felt horrible. I felt like, I felt like such a terrible friend and such a terrible person and... Like I hadn't fulfilled my duty as a good friend to be excited and supportive and sort of there for her. I worried so much that my feedback had tarnished the moment when he got down on one knee and said, will you marry me? I mean, I worried that I popped into her head.

I felt horrible. I felt like, I felt like such a terrible friend and such a terrible person and... Like I hadn't fulfilled my duty as a good friend to be excited and supportive and sort of there for her. I worried so much that my feedback had tarnished the moment when he got down on one knee and said, will you marry me? I mean, I worried that I popped into her head.

I felt horrible. I felt like, I felt like such a terrible friend and such a terrible person and... Like I hadn't fulfilled my duty as a good friend to be excited and supportive and sort of there for her. I worried so much that my feedback had tarnished the moment when he got down on one knee and said, will you marry me? I mean, I worried that I popped into her head.

If for even a split second she was thinking... Maybe I shouldn't do this because my friend doesn't believe in it." Like, I still to this day feel guilty if that was, if I popped into her head at all in that beautiful moment.

If for even a split second she was thinking... Maybe I shouldn't do this because my friend doesn't believe in it." Like, I still to this day feel guilty if that was, if I popped into her head at all in that beautiful moment.

If for even a split second she was thinking... Maybe I shouldn't do this because my friend doesn't believe in it." Like, I still to this day feel guilty if that was, if I popped into her head at all in that beautiful moment.

Absolutely. In searching in her eyes that became misty during that conversation, I saw someone who was listening to me and engaging with me so receptively on this difficult topic. I didn't see, oh gosh, she's struggling. She's struggling to share with me this reality that they are getting engaged imminently. And I think I was too focused on my own

Absolutely. In searching in her eyes that became misty during that conversation, I saw someone who was listening to me and engaging with me so receptively on this difficult topic. I didn't see, oh gosh, she's struggling. She's struggling to share with me this reality that they are getting engaged imminently. And I think I was too focused on my own

Absolutely. In searching in her eyes that became misty during that conversation, I saw someone who was listening to me and engaging with me so receptively on this difficult topic. I didn't see, oh gosh, she's struggling. She's struggling to share with me this reality that they are getting engaged imminently. And I think I was too focused on my own

perspective and working up the sort of courage to deliver this feedback and not focus enough on how she was receiving it.

perspective and working up the sort of courage to deliver this feedback and not focus enough on how she was receiving it.

perspective and working up the sort of courage to deliver this feedback and not focus enough on how she was receiving it.

Oh, it is such a complicated coordination game. We are making hundreds of micro decisions at every moment of every conversation. And we have to coordinate those micro decisions about what we say and how we say it with another human mind. And then when we're in a group with many other human minds who are all making their own micro decisions at every moment of every conversation.

Oh, it is such a complicated coordination game. We are making hundreds of micro decisions at every moment of every conversation. And we have to coordinate those micro decisions about what we say and how we say it with another human mind. And then when we're in a group with many other human minds who are all making their own micro decisions at every moment of every conversation.

Oh, it is such a complicated coordination game. We are making hundreds of micro decisions at every moment of every conversation. And we have to coordinate those micro decisions about what we say and how we say it with another human mind. And then when we're in a group with many other human minds who are all making their own micro decisions at every moment of every conversation.

So when you start to sort of study the science of it and look at these micro moments and these micro decisions, you also realize that it's a miracle that human beings have figured out how to... talk at all, really, to coordinate their turn-taking, to speak and listen, to share understanding through their words and their gestures is miraculous.

So when you start to sort of study the science of it and look at these micro moments and these micro decisions, you also realize that it's a miracle that human beings have figured out how to... talk at all, really, to coordinate their turn-taking, to speak and listen, to share understanding through their words and their gestures is miraculous.

So when you start to sort of study the science of it and look at these micro moments and these micro decisions, you also realize that it's a miracle that human beings have figured out how to... talk at all, really, to coordinate their turn-taking, to speak and listen, to share understanding through their words and their gestures is miraculous.

That's right. We cannot possibly communicate about all of these micro decisions. We cannot. The irony of it is that even while we're talking to each other, we can't actually communicate directly about all of these things. Not only for feasibility concerns, we don't have enough time to communicate about all these decisions. But also we have this expectation of sort of naturalness.

That's right. We cannot possibly communicate about all of these micro decisions. We cannot. The irony of it is that even while we're talking to each other, we can't actually communicate directly about all of these things. Not only for feasibility concerns, we don't have enough time to communicate about all these decisions. But also we have this expectation of sort of naturalness.