Allegra

If I could go back, I think I would do almost everything when it comes to my dating life in early college differently.

I definitely think I walked into a situation where maybe there was an opportunity for me at the beginning.

If I had said, I don't want to sit on your bed, let's go back up to the couches.

Maybe something could have been different.

There is that guilt there, but that's normal.

We're always our hardest critics, I guess.

I don't blame other women if I heard my situation on a different person.

I would say you couldn't have known.

It's not your fault.

But internally, it's a lot harder for me to say that to myself.

I wasn't being discerning enough, in my opinion, at that time frame with who I was willing to give a chance to.

And now I'm much more cautious and much more discerning.

Yeah, and both things can be true, right?

That I was seeking the wrong things from the wrong people and he was a scumbag.

I was tolerating this oral sex, not enjoying myself in a closet on a bed with a man that I had just met in person.

And then all of a sudden his penis is out and it's very close to my vagina.

And so I said, what are you doing?

I don't recall if he really responded.

He kind of blew me off.

In that moment, I was trying to remind him, we talked about this.