Allie Beth Stuckey

We go through some specific instances of that in my book. Each chapter is dedicated to an issue or a policy that I actually think is pushed forward by what I call toxic empathy, but is actually very harmful, not only to the people that it's purporting to help, but the people on the other side of the moral equation.

Yes. Well, before I try to parse out the difference between empathy and toxic empathy, I also like to talk about the difference between empathy and love or empathy and compassion or even empathy and sympathy. So if not to get into the weeds of the etymology of the word empathy. But sympathy, you can feel for someone. But empathy actually means to be in someone's feelings.

Yes. Well, before I try to parse out the difference between empathy and toxic empathy, I also like to talk about the difference between empathy and love or empathy and compassion or even empathy and sympathy. So if not to get into the weeds of the etymology of the word empathy. But sympathy, you can feel for someone. But empathy actually means to be in someone's feelings.

So to feel how someone feels, which I actually think and argue in my book, as you just said, that can be very powerful to mourn with someone who is mourning, to rejoice with someone who is rejoicing, to say to someone, you know, maybe I haven't been there, but I'm going to put myself in your shoes to try to see what you see happening.

So to feel how someone feels, which I actually think and argue in my book, as you just said, that can be very powerful to mourn with someone who is mourning, to rejoice with someone who is rejoicing, to say to someone, you know, maybe I haven't been there, but I'm going to put myself in your shoes to try to see what you see happening.

actually tell a pretty lighthearted story at the beginning of this book. I'm a mom of three and one day I was traveling by myself and I saw this mom struggling to get her luggage and her stroller and her toddler all to her seat. And I could see that she was on the brink of tears. And so because I'm a mom that has been there, I have been in her shoes. I have struggled in that way.

actually tell a pretty lighthearted story at the beginning of this book. I'm a mom of three and one day I was traveling by myself and I saw this mom struggling to get her luggage and her stroller and her toddler all to her seat. And I could see that she was on the brink of tears. And so because I'm a mom that has been there, I have been in her shoes. I have struggled in that way.

I not only noticed her, but But I knew exactly what she needed because I had been in that situation and I knew what I needed. And so I was able to very easily help her and to alleviate a burden because I had felt how she felt that propelled me to really love and serve her in a way that I would want. to be loved and served. And so empathy can motivate us to doing something that is actually good.

I not only noticed her, but But I knew exactly what she needed because I had been in that situation and I knew what I needed. And so I was able to very easily help her and to alleviate a burden because I had felt how she felt that propelled me to really love and serve her in a way that I would want. to be loved and served. And so empathy can motivate us to doing something that is actually good.

But I do argue that empathy in itself is not necessarily good. Empathy in itself is neither good nor bad. Empathy in itself is just neutral. Because if I feel how someone feels, say a man who identifies as the opposite sex, I can say, wow, it would be really hard to think that you're stuck in the wrong body if that's how someone feels.

But I do argue that empathy in itself is not necessarily good. Empathy in itself is neither good nor bad. Empathy in itself is just neutral. Because if I feel how someone feels, say a man who identifies as the opposite sex, I can say, wow, it would be really hard to think that you're stuck in the wrong body if that's how someone feels.

But in what I argue is that it has to stop there in that if it goes to the point to where I am obscuring reality, the reality of male and female, if it is going to the point where I am affirming a policy that violates the rights of women to private and protected spaces, then my empathy has become toxic.

But in what I argue is that it has to stop there in that if it goes to the point to where I am obscuring reality, the reality of male and female, if it is going to the point where I am affirming a policy that violates the rights of women to private and protected spaces, then my empathy has become toxic.

then it has motivated me to do something that I believe is actually harmful to that person because I'm affirming a lie. And lying is not the same thing as love. But also, it is propelling me to affirm a policy that is harmful to the people on the other side of the moral equation. And that, of course, is the girls and the women who are then forced to share these private, intimate spaces with men.

then it has motivated me to do something that I believe is actually harmful to that person because I'm affirming a lie. And lying is not the same thing as love. But also, it is propelling me to affirm a policy that is harmful to the people on the other side of the moral equation. And that, of course, is the girls and the women who are then forced to share these private, intimate spaces with men.

Yeah, you're absolutely right. I like what you said that ideology kind of adulterates empathy, but I argue that empathy has to be in submission to truth. I'm a Christian. And so I believe that absolute truth, moral truth is found in scripture, but it also has to be in submission to observable reality, biological truth, factual truth.

Yeah, you're absolutely right. I like what you said that ideology kind of adulterates empathy, but I argue that empathy has to be in submission to truth. I'm a Christian. And so I believe that absolute truth, moral truth is found in scripture, but it also has to be in submission to observable reality, biological truth, factual truth.

For example, if my child comes to me and she tells me, mom, there's a monster in the corner of my room. I could empathetically say, wow, that must be really scary. But it would not be loving for me to affirm her fear, to say, yeah, you're right. That probably is a monster. Go back to bed.

For example, if my child comes to me and she tells me, mom, there's a monster in the corner of my room. I could empathetically say, wow, that must be really scary. But it would not be loving for me to affirm her fear, to say, yeah, you're right. That probably is a monster. Go back to bed.

The loving thing to do is to go into her room to turn on the light and say, baby, that's just a pile of clothes. That's not a monster. But today, when it is unpopular to turn the lights on and to tell someone that the that they fear or the thing that they've constructed in their mind, the narrative that they are following isn't real.