Allie Harding

I don't think I was ever, like, feminist.

I was more... It's less about, like, the cooking.

It was more just, like, I wanted...

I thought that me just being nurturing and loving and showing up, that was enough.

But I didn't ever take the time to really understand.

When I'd get in arguments, I'm like, listen to me and then shut up.

And I've learned in this one, that's just not the case.

And I care about it so much that I'm willing to do the uncomfortable things.

I don't know.

It was just something that I never really looked at that I needed to do.

And my flaws were never pointed out to me.

So I didn't know what they were in a relationship.

And so it's like now that I have someone that's so open and honest about like...

this doesn't work for me.

I'm like, okay, this is just a lot of adjusting, but I just never really heard it before.

And so now it makes me look back on past relationships where I'm like, these were things that I've always done.

I didn't know that would spark something in them, but why didn't they feel comfortable enough to talk to me about it?

You know?

And I'm like, I might not have been that safe place for them.

So I can see two sides.