Alyssa Birnbaum

How was your weekend? You're probably not going to get a great response. Try something like, what was the highlight of your weekend? And then ask for more, probe a little deeper. Answering questions expansively encourages you to open up and share more about yourself and give someone else the opportunity to share more in return. For instance, if you're on a remote call, you're on a Zoom call with a remote team member,

And they haphazardly ask about our most favorite topic, the weather. You could just say what they're expecting, which is, yeah, it's pretty cold. Or you can answer a bit more expansively. So, for instance, I could say, well, my neighbors were making fun of me this morning when I was walking my dog wearing my big puffer jacket when it was in the mid-50s.

Is it cold by you? So what that does is that encourages them to open up, because they've now learned a little bit more about you, they have more insight into your life, and now they're more open to sharing about their own. Number two is overlap, or finding things in common. As human beings, we like to feel like we belong, and having things in common with one another helps us bond.

Kun olin nuorempi, ajattelin, että saman elämäntilanteen omaaminen oli periaate yhteistyöstä, mutta se ei ole oikeastaan totta. Ehkä sinä olet kappaleiden ihmisiä, tai sinä kappaleiden ihmisiä rakastat maailmanmusiikkia, tai sinä menit ylöspäin Ugandaan, tai sinä olet koko ajan syvällä ja tyhjällä kuulemalla politiikasta uudestaan. Se voi vaikuttaa aikaa ymmärtämään näitä yksityiskohtia,

but asking questions and using the visual cues you have, even if it's just through their video screen, can help. And you can do this in reverse, using your background as a way for other people to learn more about you and find commonalities with you. So especially if you're a remote worker, think of your background as a conversation starter.

You can have photos of travel or your pets. You could have artwork or books that you love, anything that could prompt conversation and engagement. All of these things can help people find things in common and help you bond. Third, and this is one of the most important ones, is caring and showing that you truly care and that you appreciate the other person that you're conversing with.

If you're on your phone or scrolling through your computer and the other person is talking to you, it signals that whatever is on your screen is much more important than your conversation with them. On the flip side, if you're listening attentively, you're nodding, you're asking questions related to what they're asking, what they're talking about, you're laughing at their jokes, you're nodding, you're taking notes, you're fully engaging,

That signals that you appreciate them and you care. And these types of interactions, they energize people. They boost their self-esteem and they make them feel closer to you. So, expand, overlap and care. These are three things that can help you build stronger connections with others. But none of them are effective unless they are done authentically.

And this is for most people the hardest part. But just like you notice when someone's nodding but clearly not listening, complimenting you but clearly doesn't mean it, or asking you questions but couldn't care less about your answer, others notice when you're doing it back. You have to dig deep, not just going through the motions or thinking of it as a checklist, but truly figuring out how to care.

Järjestöt ovat lisäksi vastuullisia. He sopivat toimenpiteet. Jos he osoittavat, että he eivät kiinnosta yhteistyötä toisistaan, heidän työntekijöidensä on mahdollista seurata. Toisaalta, jos he käsittelevät, käsittelevät ja kiinnostavat oikeudenmukaisesti, se osoittaa, että heidän osallistujien on tärkeää seurata myös.

Leaders that have remote team members have an additional responsibility because their employees don't have those casual chats when they walk in the office or lunches where they happen to chit chat with people. Leaders need to have a better pulse on their team and be more intentional about setting up time for people to connect. Yes, having video conferences with the camera on is a great first step.

But it's not enough. You really need to build in time to connect. That could mean holding a few minutes in the beginning of meetings to chit chat or to ask questions to learn more. It could mean having virtual lunches with people, either with the leader and other team members or team members amongst themselves.

Employing some kind of employee listening strategy could help you understand what your employees are truly feeling. Are they burnt out? Do they feel valued? Do they feel heard? Acting on those things that you hear as a leader helps signal that you are truly listening and trying to implement and act on their feedback.

Creating polls and using your chat channels to learn more about their sense of humor, their personalities, their preferences is a great way to use the tools that you have to connect better. And if possible, having in-person meetings from time to time can help solidify relationships.

There are so many ways that leaders can help their remote team members connect, but the core pieces are to find the time and space to connect, to use some kind of employee listening strategy so that they're gathering and acting on continuous feedback, and to be intentional with your time together. The average person spends about a third of their life at work, and for so many people, work is a prolonged source of stress and strain.

We can do better. Let's do our part to connect a little more, engage a little more, and make work truly work for us. Thank you. That was Alyssa Birnbaum at TEDx Claremount Graduate University in California in 2024.