Amber Minogue

At some point in life, most people experience grief, whether after losing a loved one or at the end of an important relationship.

We tend to associate mourning with death, but sometimes grief begins before a person has died.

This experience is often referred to as anticipatory or ambiguous loss, a form of grief felt when someone is still physically present, but psychologically or cognitively changed.

But what exactly does that mean?

Ambiguous loss describes the feeling of grieving someone who's still alive.

It most often affects relatives of people living with illnesses that impair cognitive function, such as Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, or multiple sclerosis.

As these conditions progress, people may gradually lose their memories or even stop recognizing those closest to them.

They can also bring significant behavioral or emotional changes.

sometimes creating the impression that the person's personality is partly or even completely changed.

In practical terms, the person is still there, but the relationship as it once existed may no longer be possible.

Loved ones may feel they are mourning the person they knew before the illness transformed them.

Unlike traditional bereavement, however, this kind of loss is not always recognised by others, meaning people experiencing it may not receive the same support from friends or family.

So what impact can ambiguous loss have on the people going through it?

The consequences can be significant.

According to the Alzheimer's Society of Canada, caregivers often experience repeated waves of grief as the illness progresses.

Because these diseases are degenerative and incurable, loved ones may feel they are facing new loss at each stage.

Ambiguous loss can also make grief harder to process.

When someone is still present but profoundly changed, it can be difficult to understand one's emotions.

Some people feel as though their grief is suspended, as if life has been put on hold.

If these feelings remain unspoken or daily routines become harder to maintain, the emotional burden can grow over time.