Amber Tamblyn

And I was trying to find a way to talk about my experience and my need for...

a certain kind of death.

I mean, really, I was seeking death, not literal death, but a metaphorical death.

I was ending, I was ceasing, I was seeking and ceasing, if that makes sense, and ending to the person that I was when I was younger, that person that really didn't have any control over her life while she was creating these incredible characters that bring people so much joy, and I often had so much fun shooting them.

There was an entire part of myself that was dying.

That was not being given an opportunity to thrive and to become more.

And that book was a direct, I think, moment for me to let those things be talked about more.

On a page and to be able to see them and see my own experiences, not only writing about these actresses that had literally died, but then writing these meta poems in the back about, you know, my experience writing about dead actresses.

And it was actually Roxane Gay who published the first poem.

I was like my first published poem ever.

She published this poem about Brittany Murphy.

And I remember submitting it to Pank.

A friend had said, you got to submit.

You know, there's a great editor there now.

And I was like, no one's ever going to publish my work.

I'm an actress.

I can't.

I'll just I'll take myself seriously.

And that's fine.

And I think she wrote me back in like two hours or something.