Amika Mota

It was like I wiped out two families completely.

So it was a really fucked up feeling.

I knew that

Sentencing was about what I was going to walk away with, but I knew that that was their opportunity to address me.

And so that was the most important piece of that was allowing them to address me and make sure I looked them in the eye.

because i didn't want them to feel like i wasn't hearing them or taking what they were saying i don't think they wanted to look at me much you know they shook their head and discussed often like didn't really want to look at me but i felt like i owed it to them um maybe i don't know if that was the right thing to do um

Yeah, I think I addressed the chord at some point too.

And then that is like, what do you even say?

What do you say?

Because it feels like at that point it's some fucking performance.

Like you're supposed to say something that sounds like this and like none of it is even, it's like, I don't even know.

So I don't remember what I said.

At that point, I was hated.

They were disgusted by me.

And so there was no room for me to think about that either.

To think about any making of amends that I could do with the family or reaching.

Actually, I remember asking my attorney at one point, can I reach out to them?

And he was like, absolutely not.

I would thank him, you know, for a chance, another shot.

I still haven't talked about this.