Amy Griffin
speaker
222 appearances
2 recordings
2 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Amy Griffin’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Because I know that I knew. I write about the tells that various people call me out throughout the book of, wait, why did you just do that? So to be able to know yourself, know why you do the things you do, to have compassion for myself when I am in a very crowded elevator and I say, I'm going to have to get out and take the next one. You know, that is... So that is healing. That is true growth.
And I feel that everything stems from that. So when you're so worried about the outside perspective of who have I left out? Who did I not invite to this? By the way, I still do all this. So how have I offended someone or hopefully I've included them?
Until you turn inward and you really focus on yourself, you actually can't be there for all those people in the way that you could show up in a better way, in a more authentic way, in a way where once you know your worthiness, you show that to others. And now... this worthiness that I have for myself around knowing my story and never wavering on wanting to know the truth.
I can now show up even more for the people in my life, for my children and my husband. And, or I can also laugh at myself and say, sorry, it's why I had to run out of the elevator. But, and they know that about me and that, and that, that relationship piece I talk about, you know, as I've searched my memory, my memory is, Memory and relationships are all we have. It's all we have in this life.
Aren't we building towards the two? What else do we have? I'd like to know what happens when we go and what do we take with us. But we're creating memories and we're creating relationships. And I've done that. And so to be honest about the memories in my life, it makes everything come full circle.
It's been everything. I'd like to say I don't sweat the small stuff anymore. I can still get mad when they spill spaghetti sauce on their bed and I said, don't eat in your room. But there's just a difference. There's a softening. You know, there's no longer a pacing of I said you need to be home at exactly this time and you're one minute late.
That softening of understanding where they're coming from, this letting go of control and realizing that we as parents are really not in control. We can hold their hands across the street and make sure they're safe.
But really, that's all we can do is love them and to try to control them, to morph them into these beings, to go to a certain school or have a certain career or do the things they need to do. They see that. You know, I talk about that. We live in New York City. My children know that they, what is expected of them. For me to reinforce it around grades or the other piece of it, you know,
That's, they already know it. So I don't have to be on them for that. And also, I'm not going to take one of my children who could be a, if they make a B to say, you need to be an A student. I don't know what that solves for the relationship. So a lot has changed around me as an extension of myself trying to control my children and Right.
And that and that is a big that really creates that bond that I have with them in that it's a relationship. It's not a dictatorship.
They've been amazing. A lot of times it comes off as jokes now. Oh, my gosh, mom would have done X before. Mom, you were so chill. Mom, look, mom didn't even care. And I can laugh at it rather than the tension that I see would have been there around control for their safety. Mm-hmm. And also in this knowing of the conversations I've had with my children.
You know, my husband has said to me, he says to me every day as I step into this new realm of, why am I doing this? I know why I'm doing this. Why am I doing this? Amy, you are safe and you are loved. And then I try to repeat that to my children. You are safe and you are loved. And everything else we do, we can figure out together. But it's a closeness rather than a questioning.
I don't like it when stuff is left on the floor. They know I now scoop it up and it disappears. They have to come find me for it.
Can I go back to my mom again? Yeah, of course. I mean, both my parents. Like I look at this combination of my parents, of the things I say I don't want to throw away with what happened to me. And I grew up with this incredible entrepreneur as a grandmother who was a single mother who started these businesses like you, Jamie, in a small town where she just saw this need.
But I didn't know that people didn't always have a grandmother who worked all the time and followed her around to hear about the businesses she was building and the needs she was filling. But with my parents, I had this very ambitious, hardworking father who taught me the value of hard work and success. He's an incredible businessman.
And then my mom taught me the value of a thank you note and someone else's time. You send the best thank yous, I have to say. I love to write a thank you note. Thanks, Mom. I love to write a thank you note. Because when you sit down to write a thank you note, you get to remember, I get more from it because I get to remember how grateful I feel for the relationship I have with you.
I don't know if you can read my handwriting anymore.
My handwriting looks like my grandmother's and it's going on by the wayside, but, but, I really enjoy that moment to then remember, capture the memory of what we did together and the gratitude I have for what you showed me, the effort you showed me to be in my life. So I love that. I love a thank you note. That's my second book.
Think about that idea too, that like in the writing of my book, you know, I was having a memory as I rewrote the memories and I was able to capture them and remember that's like the telling for me. It's just like me telling, it's the same thing in a thank you note. You're going to one person,
You're saying, thank you. And then you're taking that memory and whatever the brain does with the brain science, it's doing something where you're then reconnecting again to say, oh, that time we just spent together on that hike. Thank you for that. Like you get to remember it again.
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