André Duqum

That's not a good way to live. Yeah. And it's why I'm so glad we started this whole conversation talking about the developing of awareness because to the degree that we do that is to the degree we can actually be present with somebody and not just our projections of them.

Yeah, I love that section in your book when you reflect on arguments, because it's something that I've thought of many times as well, where often we're under the presumption whenever arguments arise in particularly the romantic relationships, but also any conversation where we have differing opinions, we feel like it's me versus you, and we're trying to win instead of trying to understand.

Yeah, I love that section in your book when you reflect on arguments, because it's something that I've thought of many times as well, where often we're under the presumption whenever arguments arise in particularly the romantic relationships, but also any conversation where we have differing opinions, we feel like it's me versus you, and we're trying to win instead of trying to understand.

Yeah, I love that section in your book when you reflect on arguments, because it's something that I've thought of many times as well, where often we're under the presumption whenever arguments arise in particularly the romantic relationships, but also any conversation where we have differing opinions, we feel like it's me versus you, and we're trying to win instead of trying to understand.

And shifting that perspective, instead of me versus you, it's us versus the problem.

And shifting that perspective, instead of me versus you, it's us versus the problem.

And shifting that perspective, instead of me versus you, it's us versus the problem.

The guest we had on last week, Peter Krohn, he has a saying that being right is the poor man's version of self-worth. Oh man, that's a good one. Yeah. And it really does feel like oftentimes... Like, we're not trying to get to the objective truth of something. We're trying to just be right in our perspective.

The guest we had on last week, Peter Krohn, he has a saying that being right is the poor man's version of self-worth. Oh man, that's a good one. Yeah. And it really does feel like oftentimes... Like, we're not trying to get to the objective truth of something. We're trying to just be right in our perspective.

The guest we had on last week, Peter Krohn, he has a saying that being right is the poor man's version of self-worth. Oh man, that's a good one. Yeah. And it really does feel like oftentimes... Like, we're not trying to get to the objective truth of something. We're trying to just be right in our perspective.

And again, it's one of those things that's very difficult to catch in the throes of unawareness by default. You're not aware to the function and the degree which this is happening, right? But again, in the process of growing our awareness, we can see and like,

And again, it's one of those things that's very difficult to catch in the throes of unawareness by default. You're not aware to the function and the degree which this is happening, right? But again, in the process of growing our awareness, we can see and like,

And again, it's one of those things that's very difficult to catch in the throes of unawareness by default. You're not aware to the function and the degree which this is happening, right? But again, in the process of growing our awareness, we can see and like,

just question, question it a little bit more, you know, and just create a little bit of a crack of awareness and inquisitiveness and curiosity when we're faced, you know, with these difficult situations.

just question, question it a little bit more, you know, and just create a little bit of a crack of awareness and inquisitiveness and curiosity when we're faced, you know, with these difficult situations.

just question, question it a little bit more, you know, and just create a little bit of a crack of awareness and inquisitiveness and curiosity when we're faced, you know, with these difficult situations.

And we can only communicate to the degree we're aware of what our needs are and what our values are. Right. So we have to like actually know what we need in order to be able to communicate it with another, which is the process of, you know, communication, which we're speaking to real communication versus communication. communication out of projections and tension.

And we can only communicate to the degree we're aware of what our needs are and what our values are. Right. So we have to like actually know what we need in order to be able to communicate it with another, which is the process of, you know, communication, which we're speaking to real communication versus communication. communication out of projections and tension.

And we can only communicate to the degree we're aware of what our needs are and what our values are. Right. So we have to like actually know what we need in order to be able to communicate it with another, which is the process of, you know, communication, which we're speaking to real communication versus communication. communication out of projections and tension.

I have a couple of people in my life who have been in a long-term relationship, like 20, 30, 40 years plus, and it's so different than the challenges that come up in the first five years of a relationship. I'm just curious what you think about the saying that love isn't enough and that you need to like learn how to communicate.