Andrea Gibson

My hope was about doing this time with a wide open heart, which I have done.

And there's nothing in my life that I'm more grateful than the fact that whatever blessed me with the capacity to do this with an open heart, that feels like the greatest gift of my life.

My halo is spinning above my head right now, you know?

My halo is my bling.

Reading it in the medical portal has been an empowering thing for me the last months because when I got news of my last recurrence, at that time I was having my partner read the news for me or take the call for me.

And I realized that that was excruciating for me because what I would do was I would see the news on her face and then I would see her take three or four seconds to

to try to process how she would tell me.

And I realized I couldn't do that to her anymore.

The pain of seeing it on her face first was too hard for me.

And I also, there was something that has been disempowering about having a doctor tell me.

So that has been the route I have taken.

But when I read it in the medical portal,

I could feel my heart just pounding through my chest before I opened it.

And when I opened it and I saw it, I never in my life felt my whole being quiet so quickly.

It was like all the fear poured out of my body.

And I immediately went to grief.

And one of the things that I've learned these last two years is I've

lived my life with so much anxiety and so much panic and so much fear.

And watching that go away in these last two years, which was wild because I was such a hypochondriac.

I mean, a really intense hypochondriac.