Andrea Gibson

And something in that moment just opened up.

And I felt for the next 11 months was almost in a constant state of bliss.

So anyway, the journey I have been, since I wasn't able to perform, I'm usually on tour most of the year.

I just decided to share it all online and share it in my newsletter.

And I was mostly sharing what I was discovering about joy.

I was living in the state of astonishment and awe.

And I credit the fact that my mortality with being the seed of that bliss.

And so I was sharing all along and I knew it was hard for people.

in some ways, but I also wanted them to see what was happening in a positive way, how much healing was coming into my life from this thing that was supposed to be the opposite of healing.

But each time at this point, this would be the second time that I would have to tell folks because I had to tell them one time I had a recurrence and that was very hard.

I had to cancel a whole world tour.

And this time felt almost like it was going to be almost impossible to do.

And I was really scared.

I am really scared for people.

the youth that follow me, especially a lot of my career, I've written about mental illness and suicidality.

And so I know a lot of folks navigating that stuff come to my work.

And so I was concerned about just saying, okay, y'all it's back in this time.

They're saying there's not much we can do, but I thought that if I spoke to y'all about it, I could give it a richness of, of,

just more of the truth, just more of the truth about it all, about the loving relationship that I have been trying to form with

my mortality for the last two years and how my hope throughout these last two years wasn't about living, though I would love to live.